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FemaleLocation:
MidWestOccupation:
Nurse, Equine Business OwnerAge:
48Member Since:
January 15, 2006Answers:
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about
I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).
I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.
I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.
I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.
advice
ok so i have this friend. Lets call her "Jane" Well jane is always wanting to come over and when she does all she wants to do is look threw my clothes and my shoes. And stuff. And when i say lets do something shes like do you have any money and when i say no shes like well i dont know what to do then. and she is like always cramping me. I NEED MY SPACE FOR OTHER FRIENDS!!! what should i do?
-cramped
I don't blame you for how you feel, I would need my space away from someone like that too. Asking if you have money is just rude, almost like she intends on using you, but then she probably doesn't know any better. She is probably a very lonesome person, and perhaps driving people away and not knowing that she is doing so. I call people like this "Cling Ons" once you are nice they take it like you are their best friend in the whole world. Unless you know of someone who is needy for friendship that you can introduce her to, You are probably just going to have to come out and say what about her is bothering you. Be tactful and honest and in the end, you may help her to see how her behavior affects people. So even if she is upset at the moment, maybe she will see the light and do better in other friendships in the future. You know the saying "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"
How do i build up the guys ego?
Hi,
Ask them a question about a subject that you know they have an interest in, such as cars, sports, a certain movie etc. Oooo and ahhh over their brilliant answer. Tell him he is so smart. Compliment him on the shirt he is wearing, the cologne, his hair, his muscles or the way he swims or plays video games. Always talk about positive things, don't ever be negative. Smile and laugh at his jokes (guys love this) generally a female who is happy and not grumpy is very attractive to a male. He will start to think "Wow I feel good when I am around her" It's all about positive energy, and these are tips on how to create that energy.
ok so me and my friend were walking and he told me he likes me, i kinda like him to but he is a major player. How do i play hard to get/sexy and make him really really really want me? And what are some really sext ways to flirt? PLEASE HELP!
In otherwords are you saying that he might be playing mind games? If he invites you somewhere tell him all the reasons that you can't go, but also tell him you will have to think on it. At the last minute then tell him you have decided to go even though you really aren't sure if you want to. At the end of the date, tell him you had a wonderful time, but because you are so busy it might be a while before you see him again. If he calls, be busy and don't call him back for hours.
Make him wait...and wonder what you are up to. A good way to flirt is to build them up and make them feel very important--goodlooking--strong..any thing that is an ego booster works for guys! Best of luck!
asked u the ? about teh girl acting slutty
recent information has led me to believe shes nympho any thoughts on that
I really think that is something she should see a therapist for. I see that as a psycho-social disorder, and probably one that a friend or family member would not be able to help with.
Hey Nallie
I need help with a friend of mine and im a guy and wouldnt know where to begin to help her
Shes a very pretty girl but seems she feels the need to sleep with guys to get them to like her. Is this a self esteem issue and how can i help her get out of this rut
thank you
You are right, it is a self esteem issue, and a dangerous one at that. When she sleeps with a guy--it's like sleeping with everyone they have slept with. Does she realize that 15-25 year old straight males/females are now the highest population with newly aquired HIV? However, scare tactics rarely help curb this behavior. The best thing you can do is tell her as a friend you don't approve of her sex life, and give her plenty of positive compliments and encouragement. The bottom line is, if she won't change, there's little you can do but step back from the situation. Maybe if she believes she is losing a good friend, she will think twice about what she is doing.
So i really like this boy and he likes me too. He is going to ask me out tomorrow and i want to answer in a cute unexpected hott kinda way any suggestions? By the way i am in 8th grade
Sure!
Congratulations! My friends and I have voted you the hottest guy around! And your prize is ...a date with me!
I am 13 and have ADD and its pretty bad, i used to take medication but i stopped because i didn't like how quiet i was in school. I have a GPA of 3.2 and it could be a 4.0 easily but i have decided to stop the medication because when i was on it i didn't really have friends because of how quiet i was. My friends don't help either they just say ohh i love how ADD you are which doesn't make me feel any better. I don't exactly know what to do because i mean i would love to get into a great college and be educated but at the end of your life isn't it about all the great times you've shared with your friends and boyfriends instead of what kind of education you get? Please! Please! Help because i've been struggling with this for over 3 years and i'm going into high school and to get into an ivy league college you need good grades all through high school.
P.S i have already been to the doctor and tried over 10 different medications and all of them are the same
Hello,
You sound like a very smart 13 year old. I must say I am impressed by your post. First off I will tell you I work with the elderly near the end of their lives. To sum up where I am going here, those that are educated have led much better lives. Lack of education may give you a different group of friends, but probably not the ones you'd want to spend the rest of your life with. Socioeconomics play a huge roll in how well people do in all areas of their lives. I get the impression that when friends say "I love how ADD you are" they are somehow insulting you with a little fun behind it. No matter, if they are already your friends they should accept you however you are.
Have you always been to the same doctor for your ADD? If you just don't feel right about yourself on medication or when you are "quiet" I would say it's time to take a different approach. One that doesn't completely ignore the fact that you have ADD, and one that doesn't change your personality so much you become a bore and feel bad about yourself. Obviously you are capable of getting an outstanding GPA, and it's not only due to the medication. My suggestion is to find a Dr that looks at you as a whole person and listens to what you are really trying to say. It might take more than one doc before you find the right one. Perhaps even though you have tried many different medications the dose could be reduced, times could be changed and so on. There are other methods that could be incorporated with or without medication therapy such as nutrition, hypnosis, and behavior modification. So really my best advice is to go for all of what you want, good grades and a balanced personality, but don't give up and let untreated ADD rule your life.
http://addnomore.com/
http://www.add-adhd.org/
http://addadhdadvances.com/articles2.html#alternative
I am 13 5 foot 2 and 93 poinds,I used to think of myself as skinny but all of the sudden i am feeling really uncomfortable in my body, all my weight is going to my butt and thighs and i don't exactly know if this is just something that every teenager goes through or if i really am fat. Help!!
Hi :-) Yes, this is something every teenage girl goes through from 13-16 years of age.
It's not that you are fat at all, it's just that your body is getting more definition, and feminine. Much of the way a body is shaped depends on genetics, and at about your age is when the female body starts to become a different shape from the male body. It's all part of the master design my dear, so enjoy it! At 13 you are a good weight and height, so don't worry about the rest and enjoy your new girly shape :-)
what are 3 ways to cope with stress?
help is appreciated
Well, I have two ways that have always worked for me. The first one is to decorate a shoe box, called a "worry box" write down everything you are stressing about, put the paper in the box, and you have just sealed all your worries away. The second way is to find a little rock--a stone with one flat surface, keep the rock in your pocket. When you feel stressed, take the rock out and rub it with your thumb and think of the things that stress you. Then put the rock back in your pocket. This rock is called a "worry stone" Once it's in your pocket, think of something else and remember your worries have been put away!
i'm planning on heating a needle to make several needle point burns on my hand to make a design. please spare me to you need help gesture, b/c im not doing it to take out pain on myself, im just making a tatoo like burn. what can i do to make sure the scars show up.
First of all when you heat a needle up it will turn black. When you penetrate the skin with that needle--such as in a burn, the black burned color may be imprinted into the skin. Please remember that your hands will be seen at every career you will ever have in the future and people won't take you serious because of the wound you inflicted upon yourself. I am guessing that at a later date you will want to have plastic surgery to remove those scars. Seems like too much of a risk to me.
ohkay, well on the left side of my upperback and sholders, its been hurting since january or febuary, it hurts so so so so bad, like somone stabbed me in my sholderblade.and i can barley laugh, i cant sneeze or cough, it hurts
whats wrong?
please help
The first thing you should do is see your family Dr. If you didn't have an injury, the doc will want to rule out other things first. Did you know that heart problems, lung problems or gallbladder disease can show up as upper back or shoulder pain? Not saying that is what you have, but I am just letting you know that it could be serious, and you owe it to yourself to get it checked by a professional.
Yesterday at work I was in the breakroom with Laurie, Torry, and Andy. Laurie says to me Nancy is supposed to meet Laurie and if I see Nancy I should tell her that Laurie will be finished with lunch in about 20 minutes. Also Laurie said Nancy looked like me and talked like me. When I saw Nancy I was a little bit insulted because Nancy is pretty and not pretty. Nancy had short cropped hair and black glasses that pointed at the side. Later on I was talking to Laurie and Laurie looked at me and said;you know you are better looking then Nancy and younger looking. Then last night I had to call Laurie to remind her of her appointment today and innocently asked; What did you say I looked like Nancy or I dont; and Laurie said; You are better looking and younger looking then Nancy. KEEP IN MIND I WAS TOLD BY PEOPLE THAT I COULD BE A COVER GIRL AND SARA (A COWORKER) TOLD ME ON THURSDAY THAT I AM PRETTY. MY QUESTION:SHOULD I BE INSULTED BY LAURIES ORIGINAL COMMENT THAT I LOOK LIKE NANCY; AND SHOULD I BE REASSURED THAT I DONT LOOK LIKE NANCY AFTER LAURIE TOLD ME I AM BETTER LOOKING AND YOUNGER LOOKING AND HOW WOULD YOU INTERPRET THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION.
While it is normal to be competitive in the workplace, it's not a good thing to compare your self to others by the way they look. It seems insulting to one person or the other, and is games that Jr. High students play in the cafeteria at lunch. My interpretation is, you shouldn't worry about it, don't bring it up again and just be happy with yourself and accept others as they are.
Maybe you can tell me if this is normal or if I should call my OB before my scheduled appointment. Here are the details:
I had a baby nearly 4 weeks ago by C-section. If it is of any use or interest to my problem, I had a pretty severe UTI from the catheter, which, I think because of the pain meds, went unnoticed by me until a week after my baby was born. I was given Macrobid for the UTI.
Now my concern is this- my bleeding stopped about three weeks after the birth. However, it was followed by a lemon yellow colored discharge that was at first kind of heavy, but has now become considerably lighter. It has no foul odor.
I don't know if this discharge is normal, but what caused me to become more concerned is that my skin is becoming irritated, and at times sore. I'm assuming from the prolonged use of pads and now panty liners? I tried rubbing powder on the irritated skin, but it doesn't help at all.
But also I have started to worry that maybe I have some sort of infection I should seek treatment for? I have this idea in my head that if I have an infection, it could be the reason for the discharge and that my skin is getting so irritated.
I'm just not sure what I should do- my OB check up isn't until mid April. Maybe you could advise me what to do or tell me no worries, it's normal?
Thanks a lot for your time
The lighter colored discharge would be normal as the bleeding tapers off and eventually stops. However the irritation is not normal. Combine this with the discharge and you possibly could have an infection. You probably should not use lotions or powders until you are diagnosed by the doctor. Just take warm baths in plain water only and gently dry the area well. Wear cotton underware and soft pads (not the always pads with the mesh type covering). The best way to know what is going on for sure is to see a doctor, just because you had a C-section does not mean that you can't have a vaginitis or even a yeast infection. If you were on antibiotics for the UTI a superimposed infection could be very possible. Good luck--and hope you feel better soon.
I'm very new to this site I just happened to stumble on it by accident and sure glad that I did but noticed that they are alot of teenagers and not that many adults older than 18. I posted my question on here or on the site its the one " Getting to know my husbands 17yr old daughter" I'm not sure if you will be able to retrieve it or should I retype the question on your site, I'm so very new to this chat room thing so I really dont know how it works so please let me know?
I was able to find the question. Ohhh boy, this is a tough situation, probably one of the most difficult I have seen on this board so far. It's easy to get sucked in to the situation and feel sorry for the girl, but I get a sense that she and her mother will wreck havoc on your life. I think it's best not to get involved. Your husband obviously has to decide his level of involvment with his newly found daughter, but care should be taken every step of the way. While none of her upbringing is her fault, it affects her and she is obviously going to be dysfunctional. She may be manipulative--and will take advantage of your family situation because she does not have the life skills that you and your children have. She may even try to manipulate your child that she is writing to. I'd say keep your distance for now, and keep your children at a distance. It sounds cold I know, but I think you need to look out for yourself and your kids. You didn't do anything to cause this and shouldn't have to put any effort into fixing it.
i sent papers to my inssurance company about getting botox injections for my exsess sweating, they need to read them to see if they will cover the cost of it. I sent them around the end of january begining of february and i still havnt heard from them. Does anyone have an idea on how much longer it would take for me to hear from them? Has anyone have to do this before?
thankss
I have never had to approve botox. However, I deal with insurance companies all the time. Logically you should have had an answer within a week. Of course they don't want to get back to you because they are hoping you will think it is denied and then forget about the procedure. Then they won't have to fork out any money. However, I bet if you missed one premium they'd be calling or cancelling the policy. Call them, and get a name and an extension for each person that you talk to. If they say they didn't receive the papers, they probably did but have been overlooked. Tell them you will fax the paperwork--but make sure it is "attention" to a specific person. Then call that person to make sure it has been received. Ask when they will know an answer, and then call back on that day.
last night i did sit-ups. this morning i woke up at 7:00, nothing was wrong. woke up at 10:00, my neck hurt MISERABLY. it STILL hurts, i can't turn my head or anything. it's my right side, i can't lift my right arm. it hurts too bad. i was thinking maybe it was the sit-ups, that i could have strained/pulled my neck or something. but my throat is like swollen, my ears.. i can't hear really well.. they feel full. the pain is my whole right side of my neck, front & back. please don't tell me to see the doctor. do you know what's wrong with me? has anyone else ever had this?
Sit ups is not going to make your ear and throat hurt and decrease your hearing. Any other advice other than seeing a Dr would be the wrong advice. The best interpretation is an infection of some sort, but only a doctor can diagnose you and treat you. I know it's not what you wanted anyone to say, but this type of thing can be serious, so you owe to yourself to find out what is wrong other than asking on a message board.
My dog has a trouble with biting,he is just a puppy, and he is only play biting but i dont want him to get used to biting, so what do i do?
Yes, it's play biting, but it can hurt the same.
This really works, trust me. When the pups mouth touches you even if the teeth haven't hit your skin yet...make a shrill or sharp loud sound such as "YIPE" or "EEEK" and pull your hand or whatever away. The pup will look at you like "What did I do?" Just do this way every time and soon the pup will learn that he gets dissaproval (in dog language) from you and the biting will stop.
I'm a 23 year old girl
This is important ,...I love my bf with all my heart but it seems like I completley lost interest in sex .
To be honest I never was interested to have sex with any one ,....I do love him but I just don't want people to get close to me ..I DON'T LIKE THAT.When he is on top of me I get sick and very uncomfortable and sometimes want even to cry ....But I never told him nothing
I hate the fact that I can't satisfy him ,since I always has an excuse or come home very late just to escape from the occassion....
I want to stop feeling this way ,.....The problem is me not him
Tell me what to do ....,
Since you mentioned that you don't like people to get close to you, I highly doubt that you have a physical problem. However, it would be wise to see your physician to rule out any health issues before doing anything else.
Since I don't know your background, I can only touch on these things here..but I am not saying that this happened. Sometimes woman who were abused as children, or have been taken advantage of as a teen or adult feel the way you do. Also it often depends on the attitude of your parents or other adults around you took towards sex. If any of these things have been an issue with you, look towards counseling to help you overcome those obsticles then work on the sexual relationship.
It may be that you love your boyfriend, but it is so much of a brotherly or friendship type love that it is difficult to be attracted to him physically. In that case he may not be the partner that would suit you best in an intimate relationship. If you are trying to escape from sex now, pretty soon it will be everything little thing about him that irks you. Even the most insignificant things. If you see that as happening you may want to consider moving on from the relationship. Two people who are in deep serious love, usually feel completely comfortable with one another, if it is one sided, it will never work.
If you are committed to making the relationship work out, ask him to start over. Take it slow and learn to accept his touch in a non sexual manner. It can be as simple as holding hands or kissing, and stopping there for a while before moving on to the next stage. I have always had this saying "Making love starts outside the bedroom" meaning if he is not loving you in a nonsexual way, and helping you feel good about yourself, the sex part will become dull and pretty soon you will feel like you are making a sacrafice for him and getting nothing in return.
There is probably no quick easy answer, but will take a series of steps to find the solution. Take it one day at a time and relax...you are not the only one who has ever felt this way.
Okay, so I wasn't EXACTLY sure where to put this, but my left foot tends to cramp up quite often. I'll just be sitting doing nothing, and if I even wiggle my toes, it will just cramp up like I can't move it at all. It hurts soo bad though. Also; when I walk, it gets sore rather quickly.. and I can't even explain it. But here's my question: does anyone know what this could be? I'll be going to the doctor shortly for a physical, so I can ask her then... I would just like to have some input to see if there's anything I can do in the meantime. Thanks for any advice!!
Usually this is caused by the type of shoes you wear. It happens once you take them off because the pressure of the shoes cause a decrease in circulation which in turn cause the nerves to fire wrong. Of course you want to make sure this is nothing more serious when you see the doc. However you might try some good shoes with a high and roomy toe box.
Just a hint, to check shoes out to see if they are good or not, place them on a flat surface (off your feet of course), and lightly tap the toe, if the shoe rocks back and forth or forward and backward, don't buy them.
My 3 year old labrador retriever always gets awful ear infections. They smell terrible and she's constantly itching and shaking her head. I've taken her to the vet many times and recieved medication, but the infection keeps coming back. How can I clear them up without having to go to a vet every time she gets one and how can I prevent them?
If the eardrum is not ruptured and basically it's an outer ear condition (would have to ask the vet if it is "inner" meaning after the eardrum or "outer" ear meaning the canal). If it is outer ear you can buy a cleaning solution OTC for the ears. You just put a few drops in, rub the ears and then let the dog shake her head. Then you need to wipe the excess away with cotton.
I had a basset hound that got yucky smelly ears and the breeder told me to make a mix of vinegar, peroxide and water and dampen a clean rag with the solution and wipe the ears out. It worked! She never got an ear infection and her ears stayed nice and clean and din't smell anymore. Much cheaper than the OTC solution..but I have used both.
Perhaps you can also add daily vitamins with anti-oxidents to her diet (special dog vitamins) to help her fight off inefction.