I am too old and out of shape to beat around the bush so I'll give it to you straight. If you want sugarcoating go to the candy store, you won't find it here. Sometimes a little good old fashioned honesty is just what the doctor ordered!
Gender: Female
Location: PA
Member Since: August 19, 2012
Answers: 317
Last Update: June 14, 2018
Visitors: 18515
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This is an odd problem, I think. So I'm a 20 year old college student in Ireland. I want to be successful and to be a decent, happy human. But I have a serious mental block in pursuing these things and trying to push myself because of the man my father is. My father is lazy, stupid, ignorant, close minded and greedy. He is all of these things to quite a high degree. This becomes more and more apparent to me the older I get. I feel like I Just feel like I'm genetically predisposed to be the complete failure of a person that he is. It seems impossible to me that I could be the complete opposite of my own father. As much as I try to overcome this feeling I just can't. It stops me from pushing myself to tap into whatever potential I may have. I'm often told by close friends that I don't think nearly enough of myself and that I don't take myself seriously. I think they're probably right but I find it very difficult to think that I can't shake off my DNA. I feel like this is really holding me back. If anyone has experienced something similar and has overcome this or knows of examples of people who have or can give me any kind of constructive advice Id greatly appreciate it. Thanks in advance (link)
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There are several famous movie stars in our country who have had a convict for a parent! Woody Harrelson's father was a convicted hit man!It didn't stop Woody from pursuing his dream and becoming famous! Drew Barrymore, Leighton Meester, Hayden Panetiere, Kimora Lee Simmons, soccer player Hope Solo and singer Kellie Pickler. All of these now famous people had a parent who spent time in jail or prison! Heck your dad sounds pretty mild compared to all that! Even if your dad is everything you describe there must be SOME good about him too, right? So why not assume that you got all of his GOOD traits instead! At any rate whatever you choose to become is up to you! If you choose to limit yourself, then put the responsibility where it belongs! Don't use your dad for an excuse or a scapegoat! Good luck!
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Hi! :) I feel like I am ready for my very first pair of sexy high heeled shoes, but I am also afraid. You hear stories about people falling off their shoes and breaking their ankles or something like that? Can people who have worn them before please tell me everything I need to know about wearing heels before I buy the wrong kind or make some other mistake? Please?
Thank you! (link)
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If I were you I would start with some high heel wedges. Wedges are more comfortable and easier to walk in than a thin heel. After you get used to the wedges then you could try some different styles of high heels. Cage sandals are very popular right now and they are super sexy in a wedge! Go to the shoe store and try on some different styles, See which ones you are more comfortable in! Whatever you decide don't stress, have fun with it! Your first high heels are a right of passage! Good luck!
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I am a man with a loving woman in my life .why do i have this pain in my tummy when i get horny (link)
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You need to get this checked out. Any type of pain associated with sex is not normal. Your family doctor can check you out and refer you to a specialist if need be. There are dozens of things that could cause this, some serious, some not, but please do NOT attempt to diagnose yourself on the internet!Good luck!
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i know cigarettes are bad for you but i want to smoke anyway. are there any side effects to e-cigs and do they get you as high as real cigs? (link)
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Real cigarettes do not get you high. They contain nicotine which is an addictive substance, that is why people continue to smoke even when they want to quit. I do not believe e-cigarettes are AS bad for you as the real thing but they have not been proven to be totally safe either. You can still develop a nicotine addiction if you smoke e cigarettes that contain nicotine. The real question is, why do you want to smoke? It is really nasty and it makes you smell bad! Most of the teens I come in contact with think smoking is ratchet!
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18/Female
I am from Puerto Rico. Currently in the process of getting an apartment and getting ready for college life. Except... I don't feel ready for it at all. I feel like I'm walking into a dark room with explosives planted all over and I'm bound to trip over one of them. Everyone I know seem so confident and are far much more ready than I am. This isn't my only problem. I'm scared. I'm scared of this new life that's coming ahead. I am going to an university that's about like two hours away from my home and that's without traffic. Sure, I'll be living with my best friend since seventh grade, but she has her whole future written out for her. She's already got an awesome summer job that is going to leave a lot of money for her and halfway through she's going to the US. She'll be much more busy and I feel that living together will somehow stretch us farther apart instead of closer because of how high up she is. She has had universities fight for her - I'm barely average intelligence.
I don't know if what I'm going for us what I truly want or if I'm cut out for it. I got in through Geology, meaning that I'm going for a Geology major but am planning to take a minor in Atmospheric Sciences so I can Master in this instead of Geology. However... my real passions lay within art. The last few months in high school left me yearning for things that aren't science. I was in charge of making scenography for a play to get funds for the graduation - it was a stress but I loved it! It felt so nice at the end... knowing that I had done that. I love theatre - singing, dancing, acting, especially dancing. I've always been camera shy so I never showed what I had, ever, and now I lament never doing so.
I don't know what to do. I feel lost here. Everybody is too busy to listen to me and what I'm feeling - my mom gets angry when I mutter so all she does is yell and that just makes me cry, which makes me feel worse. I see so many of my friends hanging out with boys and many of them in happy relationships while I'm just a loner who's too shy to approach guys and no guy has ever told me he likes me... I feel like I'm pretty much breaking. I've kept so many things inside that I don't think straight anymore, I lay around all day doing nothing while I know that I should get up and do stuff - anything! I just... I guess that basically what I'm saying is that I suffer from extreme low self esteem but always try to hide it, or at least most of it. I've already gotten advice but every advice I get seems so plain, empty and repetitive: "Everything will get better." "Smile." "Do what you want to do!" "Follow your heart." I'm not saying I don't appreciate it... but I want something else.
I just want somebody that will listen to me for real and understand me. Any advice to any of the stuff I just rambled?
(link)
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First of all you need to stop comparing yourself to your girlfriend! Her situation is different from yours. Not better, not worse, just different. You already know what you really want to study so you need to go see your counselor and switch majors. There is nothing wrong with majoring in the arts as opposed to science! Whatever you do this is NOT the time to be worrying about finding a boyfriend! Find yourself first, once you are happy with that the boyfriend will show up, you can count on it! Why don't you look around for a local theater group and go audition. You said this makes you happy so why aren't you doing it? You will probably not only enjoy it but you could make some great new friends as well!It sounds to me as if you could be starting to go into a depression. At your age you should not be lying around doing nothing! Make an appointment with your doctor and explain how you are feeling. You may need to see a counselor to help you get through this. There is no shame in that. This little quote from the great Albert Einstein pretty much sums up your situation, "Everybody is a genius but if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree it will live it's whole life believing it is stupid!" Stop trying to climb trees girl! Jump in and start swimming!Good luck!
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today i gave my bf handjob..his penis was completely dry. cause he had washed his penis just few mins before.. i gave him a handjob at around 12:20pm then we were just roaming for another two hours..he had fingered me at around 10am.. i reached home at around 3:45pm or 3:50pm.. i was touching my vagina cause my hymen broke cause of his fingering, i guess cause there was little blood.. i forgot that the hand that i used to touch my vagina was the same hand that i used to give him a handjob. but the outer vagina was dry when i touched it.. please help me. im worried
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I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Sperm can live inside the body for three to five days but they die out in the air pretty much as soon as they are dry. If you walked around for almost three hours I am pretty sure your hand dried by then. You really should ask your boyfriend to use a condom from now on just to be on the safe side. Pregnancy can occur this way under the right circumstances!
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Ok, so here's scenario. I have a broken tooth. I didnt know it was hurting until a couple of months ago when it started hurting. About to two weeks ago I asked my brother to tell my what it looked like because it started to leave a nadty taste in my mouth and when I touch it my gum is sore aroun dc the tooth. My broyher told me it is black, not my whole tooth just on the inside. Now its starting to feel like the tooth in front is hurting and also the tooth right below it. Now I do have (state) insurance but I have no dentist. I've called around but the dentist either dont take my insurance or they only take it for 18 and under. I had a dentist I started seeing last year in august and she was the best but since I turned 21 in december she no longer takes my insurance. I've also called 1800Dentists but they couldnt find one in my area. What to do? I've been to the hospital they've given me antibiotics and tramadol but for pain but this was 2 months ago. How long before the infection spreads to other parts of my body? All answers are welcome. Thanks for your time. (link)
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You need to call the number on your insurance card and tell them what is going on . They should be able to give you the name of a dentist who will take your insurance. If you have insurance through the state you should also have a case worker through your local office. You could try contacting the office and ask to speak with your case worker. They might be able to tell you the name of a provider. If neither of these things work go to your family doctor and explain the situation. They might be able to give you a referral to a dentist or oral surgeon. I hope you find one soon, this should be taken care of ASAP! Good luck!
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i had an unprotected sex with my bf on 20th june. i got my periods on 30th june. my last periods overed on 8th june. actually my periods are irregular.please tell me whether i am pregnant or not and when to take home test? (link)
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The only way to tell for sure if you are pregnant is to take a pregnancy test. Some women still get their periods even during pregnancy so you should probably take the test about three weeks after you had the unprotected sex. If the test is negative and you are still worried give it another week or two and take a second test. Most tests on the market today will detect a pregnancy as little as a week after the missed period.
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Basically she has asked me to help her by going through her clothing and removing anything that is not Modest. But I do not really know what I should be looking for in this regard but I do seriously want to help her.
I have broken down into categories but would like to know what I should be looking at or removing with modesty in mind
Dresses
Tops and Blouses
Skirts
Shorts
Jeans and Trousers
Lingerie/Underwear
Swimwear
I would really appreciate any thoughts, Ideas
or advice on this
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Girls who dress modestly do not wear short skirts or dresses,short shorts,low cut blouses and really tight pants. Nothing flimsy or see through and swimwear would probably be a one piece or a tankini. If your girlfriend really wants to be modest she shouldn't be asking you to go through her underwear drawer for Heaven's sake! I am sure SHE knows what level of modesty she would be comfortable with. I would tell her to chose what she believes is modest and if you don't agree you will let her know.
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Okay so I'm 15 and ever since I could understand what college was I always said I'm going. Yeah I know over the years kids and teenagers change their mind a lot on what they want to be. But I don't know I just really would like at least a firm grounding on what id be doing somewhat. Is there anything I can take or do to get that? It honestly bugs me so much that I don't have the slightlest clue anymore. I just want to have an idea at least so I know what classes to take in high school so I could get into the best college for whatever I want to do. I've took a lot of those career test and every result I get each of them had science(chemist and physicist) and creative jobs(journalism and stuff like that) equally matched. Which is frustrating because well science is more realistic and based on facts of coarse unless your making something. But anyways is there website that could be of more help ? (link)
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Sometimes answers hide in the most obvious places! What do you do for fun? If you choose a career you love you will never work a day in your life!Find out what your passion is, even if it seems silly, if you love it then pursue it. Once you think you have some idea of what you want to do then go to where people are doing that job, explain that you are trying to make future career choices and ask if you could job shadow someone for a day. Find out what the job really entails. I am guessing that you don't like the idea of becoming a chemist, physicist or journalist and that's why you are still searching for answers!Try to picture yourself in your dream job. What do you think it would be? I am going on a hunch here but I think you have something in mind. Perhaps you think it is a little too far fetched or unrealistic. Maybe you are afraid your parents wouldn't approve but I'll bet there is a little dream inside you somewhere if you look deep enough. Remember, if you can see it, you can be it! Find your passion! Good luck!
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I'm 16 and I got dumped a month ago and now have feelings for someone I met someone at the beginning of last school year and for some reason no matter how hard i try,I just can't get him out of my head. All year he treated me like he hated me, but I think that he really does but don't know why. He plays around with his friends and then when I enter the room he stops talking or whispers instead. We used to be best friends. Why is it that I can't get him out of my head? Is he just messing with me? or does he secretly like me? I need help (link)
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There is something else going on here. What you are describing makes no sense at all. If you are best friends with somebody and then suddenly you're not, you usually know why. Could it possibly be that it all happened when you started dating this guy who just dumped you? If so then you have your answer. He wanted to date you, you started dating this guy, now he wants nothing to do with you? I don't think he is messing with you at all, he is probably just really angry with you. If you want to get to the bottom of it try calling him or getting him alone and ask him what the problem is. Hopefully he will give you another chance! Good luck!
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I am 18 year old lady, I had sex for the first time and I used a condom, but that same day my periods started and they were normal, but 3 days later, I experience running tummy which lasted for 2 days, now I have stomach cramps, bubbling from my stomach to my mouth, chest and back pain. Am I pregnant or I am just exaggerating? (link)
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If your period started the day you had sex I would say there is little to no chance of you being pregnant. If indeed you did become pregnant from this encounter you would NOT have symptoms in as little as two days. There is a medical explanation for this but I will not go into it here. You do however need to get checked out. It sounds like you could have a stomach flu or maybe even food poisoning! You should consider another form of birth control in addition to condoms so you don't have to worry about this again!Good luck!
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I'm with this guy names Allah and we haven't been together that long . He recently just graduated and is now going into the military . I'm a senior I'm high school. I've always been against having a partner that's in the military because I know I'm not strong enough to handle that type of relationship. He's made it clear that he wants me to stay with him while he's there and I stayed in the reality of it and said it would be hard and things change and people and feelings change especially because I'm still gonna be in high school and the reality of it was that we wouldn't work and he's the one with the hope of it and he wants me to just try and see what happens and I'm not totally against it because I wanna be with him enough to not lose him but it won't feel like a real relationship to me because he won't be around and he's gonna miss everything that happens with me and I'm not emotionally prepared for losing him and not being around him. I really wanna be with him but I just don't want it to be a waste of my time waiting for him while he's in the military or having a relationship . I'm scared of what's gonna happen and I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with it . In a way I feel like he would be holding me back by asking me to stay with him but it's hard to just give up a relationship you built with that person and I'm not ready to let it go. I didn't plan any of this for myself and it hurts that I have the right guy and I'm just gonna lose him basically with whatever decision I choose (link)
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I think you should tell him that you would love to keep in touch with him as friends but you are not ready for any deeper commitment right now. It doesn't sound like you have been together long enough for your relationship to get this serious. If he really cares about you then I am sure he will understand and not try to force you to commit to something you are not ready for. Good luck!
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I have relatives that went to UK, they had fun, without me. Of course I got jealous, they're happy while I'm left out, now that they're back in the US, some of my UK raised relatives came over, they went to the beach, to expensive restaurants and parks, I wasn't there... They invited us for a dinner, but it was sad and empty, the rest of their vacation, we're not invited, now that you're reading this I want you to make me feel less bad, you know give advice on how to be close again, since we lied to each other, how could we be close again, I love them, but I think they don't... Should I forget about it? Or say sorry about the lies? (link)
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You left out the part about WHY they didn't invite you!If I am reading this correctly, you lied to them about something? If you did then you owe them an apology!If you are not sure why they didn't invite you then you need to talk to them and find out. They obviously have some kind of problem with you and the sooner you find out what it is, the sooner you can make amends!If you love them then you should take the first step! Good luck!
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Without getting too personal music has led me to this site. Music appreciation has kept me out of trouble and positive. What makes me an advisor in this or any category? (link)
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Music is a wonderful way to keep positive and focused!I am sure your advice on music related questions would be greatly appreciated!You can browse any category and look for questions you might want to answer. Have fun!
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My boyfriend has clearly admitted to liking hentai and other cartoon pornography but can not get an erection with me. He swears up and down that I am not the problem, that he is attracted to me, yet, I flaunt my naked body around him all the time and not even the slightest bit of arousal is seen in him. He stays limp. Everytime I ask him it's always "I don't know, I tell myself to get hard and it doesnt happen". I cant say what type of cartoon porn he likes because he hasn't shown me any of it, so, I don't know if its kiddy porn, or legimite adult on adult...I just know that he is into that and not into real porn, he won't watch the real life porn or even have sex with me. What can I do to help change that besides draw a picture of myself and wear it on my body? (link)
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I am going to state what has to be glaringly obvious to the rest of the world. It is time to get a NEW boyfriend!He will NEVER be turned on by you. This relationship will NEVER work. For all you know he could be into kids or something illegal.Don't walk away, RUN!
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So I got fingered 7 nights in a row by my bf, and I haven't noticed my period in like 2 months and I'm too scared to tell my mom my problem so I'm going to you guys! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!! (link)
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Honey, I know you won't want to hear this but at 12 you really shouldn't be this intimate with your boyfriend. If this boy really likes you then he should be willing to wait until you are older for any type of sexual activity. You are moving way too fast! You could really end up in a bad situation if you let this go on. I know you feel like you are all grown up but trust me, you're not. I am sure this boy makes you feel special and loved but the truth is boys will make you feel that way so you will agree to sexual acts. Already you are scared that something has gone wrong. You are in over your head here and you really need to talk to your mom! Tell her about your periods and let her get you checked out. I am only saying these things because I am very concerned for you. Please have a good heart to heart with mom! Good luck!
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My boyfriend has a 9 year old little sister. I would love to speak to her on the phone someday but I dont know what I would say to her. Any advice? (link)
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Before you talk to little sis on the phone ask your boyfriend what she is into. It will help if you can find something in common with her. Most kids are naturally talkative. Just ask her what she is doing on her summer vacation or if she has any pets and what she does for fun. Tell her what your hobbies are and ask her if she has ever tried any of them. Ask her if she likes to swim or what her favorite foods are. If she doesn't seem open to questions right away then tell her about yourself, about your pets, your friends and your school. I am sure she will warm up to you as soon as you find something in common.
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This is a little embarrassing, especially because I'm a 20 year old female. ._.
But I think I kind of fell "in love" with a fictional character from a movie. (I don't know if "love" is the right word here.)
This happened a few days ago when I saw the movies for the first time. Now I can't stop thinking about that person and I need to watch the movies over and over again, or read "fanfiction" about them so I don't feel lost or completely sad.
I even have a boyfriend (Who I haven't seen since I watched the movies, I'll probably see him in 2 days) which makes this even worse and even more silly. I don't really care much about the actor himself, I like him and I find him attractive but that's it.
But I literally feel like I'm sort of heartbroken because I can't be with that person from the movies. I'm so drawn to him, his eyes, his face, his smile, the way he talks. I even lost my appetite. And I think about him all day. I'm hoping this will go away as soon as I see my boyfriend again. Funny thing is that he's nothing like my boyfriend. My boyfriend is really romantic and this guy from the movies isn't.
But what can I do about this? I seriously feel like crying.
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Believe it or not this is really pretty common! It is sort of like having a crush on someone you can never be with. Whether reading or watching movies fictional characters are very real at the time! I doubt if this crush will last too long but you do need to stop watching the movies that cause these feelings.The more you feed this fantasy the worse it will become for you. If you are not careful you could start having problems separating fantasy from reality. Maybe you could do something symbolic like wrap the movie up and bury it. Tell yourself the character is gone forever and you have to move on. I do have to question whether this could stem from some dissatisfaction with your boyfriend? Perhaps you wish he was more like the guy in the movie? Maybe you are using this fictional character as an excuse to not deal with your real life issues? Have you thought about breaking up with your boyfriend but just couldn't deal with actually doing it? Just putting some things out there to think about. Sometimes fantasy is just an escape from reality. Do some soul searching and see if there might not be something deeper bothering you. Best of luck!
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My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. We just recently moved in together I have 2 children I had to move I was living in a one room apartment with my two kids in a house with a ton of people. I loved that way for a year and finally just couldn't take it. We got a place we've fought a lot about dumb stuff I've had a really hard time life wise for the last 5 years my husband took off I divorced now. We'll while moving together his truck loads were like half full. We spent over 2 hours putting a bed together I put the bed together he held the pieces up if I asked him to make sure something was tight he had no idea what he was doing at all. He couldn't put one screw together I'm really annoyed we still have two more beds two more dressers and a kitchen table to put together... am I wrong for being annoyed. I feel awful but Idk (link)
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Yes, you're wrong! It is okay to be annoyed at the situation but not at him. Give the poor guy a break, he probably has never had any experience putting furniture together before! Why don't you have him do some other chore and call a friend to help with the furniture who is a little more experienced. I am sure the last thing you want to do is make your boyfriend feel bad because he isn't skilled in this particular area. Let's say you know very little about sewing and he asks you to make him a shirt, it would kind of be the same thing! Moving can be crazy under the best of circumstances. Why not just throw a mattress on the floor, light a few candles, relax and unwind, then turn it into a fun romantic experience instead! Believe me all of this will take care of itself in time. Why not make a few beautiful and lasting memories of your first days in your new place! Good luck!
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