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Obsessing over a fictional person.
This is a little embarrassing, especially because I'm a 20 year old female. ._.
But I think I kind of fell "in love" with a fictional character from a movie. (I don't know if "love" is the right word here.)
This happened a few days ago when I saw the movies for the first time. Now I can't stop thinking about that person and I need to watch the movies over and over again, or read "fanfiction" about them so I don't feel lost or completely sad.
I even have a boyfriend (Who I haven't seen since I watched the movies, I'll probably see him in 2 days) which makes this even worse and even more silly. I don't really care much about the actor himself, I like him and I find him attractive but that's it.
But I literally feel like I'm sort of heartbroken because I can't be with that person from the movies. I'm so drawn to him, his eyes, his face, his smile, the way he talks. I even lost my appetite. And I think about him all day. I'm hoping this will go away as soon as I see my boyfriend again. Funny thing is that he's nothing like my boyfriend. My boyfriend is really romantic and this guy from the movies isn't.
But what can I do about this? I seriously feel like crying.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Believe it or not this is really pretty common! It is sort of like having a crush on someone you can never be with. Whether reading or watching movies fictional characters are very real at the time! I doubt if this crush will last too long but you do need to stop watching the movies that cause these feelings.The more you feed this fantasy the worse it will become for you. If you are not careful you could start having problems separating fantasy from reality. Maybe you could do something symbolic like wrap the movie up and bury it. Tell yourself the character is gone forever and you have to move on. I do have to question whether this could stem from some dissatisfaction with your boyfriend? Perhaps you wish he was more like the guy in the movie? Maybe you are using this fictional character as an excuse to not deal with your real life issues? Have you thought about breaking up with your boyfriend but just couldn't deal with actually doing it? Just putting some things out there to think about. Sometimes fantasy is just an escape from reality. Do some soul searching and see if there might not be something deeper bothering you. Best of luck!
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Whether a real guy you meet or the portrayal of a fictional character that seems so very real, females will be looking at both for what they are attracted to in a male, not just on a physical level but other attributes like ones humor, personality traits, character, how he treats women. I have come across two male characters in books in my life, both historical series where I came to love many aspects of the men and thought alot about it. One book character was when i was in my 20's and another when I was about 40. When young, still dating, and not ready to marry or committ to a life long relationship yet, the best thing we can do is to consciously make a list of what it is exactly that we need and want in a man and what traits you dont want or find abusive.
A Need is something that is a 'must have'. If the guy doesnt meet this requirement, its a deal breaker and you won't waste the time with him. A want, is like the icing on the cake, the frills. Not necessary but would be your personal preference. Like a couple of mine for example as I sought my 2nd husband, someone who likes to dance, and a guy who has long hair. I got the long hair but he's not a dancer. So within limits I find an attraction to fictional characters in books and movies to be normal even if theres a boyfriend. Maybe even if married but unhappily to the wrong man. It's going a little overboard if this is the only thing that fills your thoughts and day and you can't be fully present in mind and body to live the current life you have.
I would advise seriously writing out your list. You may confirm that the guy you are with is everything you need and want for ever. But keep in mind, adults still change and grow and we may outgrow and no longer fit the person we are with and need to move on to someone else. Perhaps deep down inside, your subconscious mind is simply trying to get that message across to you any way it can and the only way right now thats working is to get you fixated on a fictional man, someone other than whom you are with.
Take time by yourself to go within yourself. Ask questions of yourself too. You won't get answers immediately. But if you really want to know what needs are driving this occurance in you, keep asking yourself. Eventually your subconscious mind will answer you or your higher self or perhaps your angels. I don't know you well enough to be able to answer why its happening. If I had the why, I might have more specific suggestions on what to do. I wish you the best dear.
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