|
Trouble talking to friend
Lately my best friend has been getting more and more distant and I can't figure out how to talk to her. We've been best friends for 7 years and live in different states (I moved). We used to talk ALL the time, on IM and text and even email. However she is responding less and less. She says she needs space and I totally get that. However it's really hard to not have a best friend to talk to for weeks at a time. I try to reach out and ask her how things are and let her know she can talk to me anytime. I even sent her a really cool package that she loved. But after her excited thank you, she stopped texting. I think I've been pretty patient with her. I really want to tell her that I get she needs space, but sometimes I need to talk to people to get through things. I feel like lately I've gone through really tough times without her because I can't talk to her. It would be nice to be able to include her in my life. I don't know what to do...I want to let her deal with her issues, but I'd like her in my life too.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Okay, so my best friend and I have become really distant too. I don't know what I did but she keeps saying it's my boyfriend. Do you ever talk about another friend a lot to her? You could also have done something before you moved that she didn't really like. Maybe she's sad BECAUSE you moved.
]
Sounds to me like you've done and said everything you can to encourage her to keep contact without being pushy. Some people just do better with a friend that they have face to face than keeping in touch via phone, letters, internet. Lots of that could be due to a person's personality type.
Being in your early 20's you're an adult but I remember those years....we tend to still lean heavily on have a sounding board, someone to share our feelings, ideas, concerns with and get another perspective on it. You do have a valid need. But having only one person who is now long distance is not going to be the best source for that. I've had friends of childhood/teen years move and the friendship always morphs into something different. We get carried away by the lives we are living and the people we see and interact with on a daily basis like boyfriends, husbands, children, our school mates, co-workers, neighbors...etc.... and there is a need to be there for those people. The best friend always there for you will change from being able to 'be there' for one another to a friendship more of good memories, of caring alot about the person, enough to keep in touch at times. But those times of contact can vary. In my case, contact with friends who moved began less frequent as time went on. Now we are lucky to touch base by internet or phone once a year and we've all changed thru our adult lives enough that we have little in common anymore. This happens quite often to people and I am sure you will see this too.
Right now, you need someone you can feel safe and comfortable with sharing your deepest thoughts and needs with. I would suggest praying for that right person or persons to come along. You hopefully have a mom or sister or cousin you are comfortable enough to talk to about some things. But perhaps asking your guardian angels to help bring new people into your life for whom you can fill this need and they the same for you might end up with more results. In the meanwhile, any time you neeed to bounce an idea or thought off of anyone, keep us in mind here at Advicenators.
Blessings to you dear.
]
More Questions: |