|
My boyfriend doesn't know how to put things together!
My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. We just recently moved in together I have 2 children I had to move I was living in a one room apartment with my two kids in a house with a ton of people. I loved that way for a year and finally just couldn't take it. We got a place we've fought a lot about dumb stuff I've had a really hard time life wise for the last 5 years my husband took off I divorced now. We'll while moving together his truck loads were like half full. We spent over 2 hours putting a bed together I put the bed together he held the pieces up if I asked him to make sure something was tight he had no idea what he was doing at all. He couldn't put one screw together I'm really annoyed we still have two more beds two more dressers and a kitchen table to put together... am I wrong for being annoyed. I feel awful but Idk
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I agree with Razhie. Not every man on this planet is mechanically inclined. Sure it seems easy enough to put bolt "A" into slot "B" attach nut "C" so on and so forth but to some people you may as well be talking a foreign language. Even when testing for mechanical skill the tests can get it wrong. I saw this first hand in the Air Force.
In training lass to be an aircraft repairman part of the training was tool identification. The instructor held up a hammer and called it a screwdriver. All but one of us laughed the one that didn't found the hammer on his paper and wrote screwdriver. He truly did not know a screwdriver from a hammer yet he scored among the highest in the class on the aptitude test. He was removed from the class.
I can understand your frustration but it should not be directed at him. Instead take a break, if you can, put the mattresses on the floor for the night I'm sure the kids will love it and get a better start tomorrow. Then try and teach him though again do not get frustrated or upset if he doesn't grasp what you doing. I'm sure he has other qualities or you would not be with him or have him around your children.
If you need help try family and friends. We have a long weekend coming up and maybe they can lend you a hand during this time.
]
Call a friend or family member and ask them to help you.
It's okay to feel annoyed, but blaming him is not respectful or helpful. If these are skills he doesn't have, then he doesn't have them. Asking him to be a moving or assembly expert, just 'cause that is what you need right this second, isn't fair or reasonable.
You can't assume that someone else has the same knowledge or skills you do.
It's a stressful time for both of you. If this is something he isn't good at, find a task that he is good at - even if it's just watching the kids- or ask for help from someone else.
]
Yes, you're wrong! It is okay to be annoyed at the situation but not at him. Give the poor guy a break, he probably has never had any experience putting furniture together before! Why don't you have him do some other chore and call a friend to help with the furniture who is a little more experienced. I am sure the last thing you want to do is make your boyfriend feel bad because he isn't skilled in this particular area. Let's say you know very little about sewing and he asks you to make him a shirt, it would kind of be the same thing! Moving can be crazy under the best of circumstances. Why not just throw a mattress on the floor, light a few candles, relax and unwind, then turn it into a fun romantic experience instead! Believe me all of this will take care of itself in time. Why not make a few beautiful and lasting memories of your first days in your new place! Good luck!
]
No, it's not wrong to feel annoyed. A woman with two kids should be able to feel that whoever is her partner is putting in half the effort in the relationship and in and around the house. Maybe it sounds like stereo typing but in general more males are handy with fix it jobs and females with nurturing and cooking and raising kids. Most women are as great as guys when it comes to using tools and doing some assembly. I would think that just about anyone can use a hammer and hit a nail or use a screw driver. So it seems odd to me he couldn't even handle a screwdriver and simple bed assembly.
Perhaps his parents always did everything for him and he has no clue how to be an adult and take care of all his own needs let alone put in his part, taking care of his lady. You had a bad experience with the first guy in your life. That doesnt mean you have to settle for less the 2nd time around. It's not your lot in life unless you choose to make it so.
If this guy has many other rewarding characteristics and "assembly" is not included in who he is, if thats all that is wrong, then its up to you to decide if that is going to become a deal breaker in the long run or if you can live with it. Good luck dear.
]
More Questions: |