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He's going into the military
I'm with this guy names Allah and we haven't been together that long . He recently just graduated and is now going into the military . I'm a senior I'm high school. I've always been against having a partner that's in the military because I know I'm not strong enough to handle that type of relationship. He's made it clear that he wants me to stay with him while he's there and I stayed in the reality of it and said it would be hard and things change and people and feelings change especially because I'm still gonna be in high school and the reality of it was that we wouldn't work and he's the one with the hope of it and he wants me to just try and see what happens and I'm not totally against it because I wanna be with him enough to not lose him but it won't feel like a real relationship to me because he won't be around and he's gonna miss everything that happens with me and I'm not emotionally prepared for losing him and not being around him. I really wanna be with him but I just don't want it to be a waste of my time waiting for him while he's in the military or having a relationship . I'm scared of what's gonna happen and I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with it . In a way I feel like he would be holding me back by asking me to stay with him but it's hard to just give up a relationship you built with that person and I'm not ready to let it go. I didn't plan any of this for myself and it hurts that I have the right guy and I'm just gonna lose him basically with whatever decision I choose
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In my opinion he is being selfish because he is backing you into a corner if you don't feel emotionally ready to be involved with someone in the military then you should tell him maybe later in life because if you decide to leave you may discover love elsewhere and if you stay with him you may or may not regret it I cannot give you the answer but I suggest you look into you and your feelings and emotions.
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I think you should tell him that you would love to keep in touch with him as friends but you are not ready for any deeper commitment right now. It doesn't sound like you have been together long enough for your relationship to get this serious. If he really cares about you then I am sure he will understand and not try to force you to commit to something you are not ready for. Good luck!
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I'm a Milspouse and I never would have pictured myself as one. Sometimes it's tough, but it's all absolutely worth it because of who my guy is and how great he is at staying connected when we are apart and how I know that he's my ultimate teammate. If you were sure he was the right guy, it wouldn't be a question of your strength, because there wouldn't be anything else that could compare.
Long distance is tough no matter what, and the language you're using--"waste of time" and not "a real relationship" sounds like you've already weighed the possibilities and have decided to let go... But in the process of letting go, you still have to give yourself space to distill the value and lessons you've gained in the relationship the two of you built and then give yourself permission to trust that the right guy will come along later. It would probably be a waste of your time to do long distance when you're not sure.
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My daughter was a military wife. She's divorced now and remarried to non military. During the time it was difficult and yet she is a strong person, not afraid to tackle something thats usually handled by a guy. But she still had problems, mostly when needing car repaired or on phone to customer service and she was given the run around or sales attempt for more repair work than the car needed, all because she was a female. In society people will take advantage of a female. So its either get Dad or Grandpa to help. Dad was unwilling or too busy and grandpa passed on. Then you also don't have a chance for the relationship to grow and become stronger through daily life together.
Unless he has proposed to you and you've accepted and are his fiancee at your age, i believe the best thing for you is to date around and gain some more experience with relationships. If you are still available when he comes back, if he is not re-enlisting, and if you two meet to see how you both still feel, then get together or the opportunity passed, you're both changed and no longer feel the same. Who's to say that he will feel the same about you once he's done with the service? It's the tough decision, we can't make any for you, just give you some things to think about. Good luck.
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