I had all three Gardasil shots, and finished with them about a year before I became sexually active. My boyfriend and I use birth control pills but not condoms.
In the last few months, he's developed warts on his pelvic area, just above his penis and just a few on his penis itself. He had them once before, but it was over 6 years ago, and they went away on their own. Yes, they were looked at by a doctor then and they told him it was a form of genital warts.
I have no symptoms of genital warts at this point but I'm worried. I can't get in to see my gynecologist for 2 months. Even with the Gardasil, am I at a high risk for contracting some form of HPV?
Well, on their site it says that the shot protects against 2 types of HPV that cause 70% of cervical cancers and against 2 types of HPV that cause 90% of genital warts cases. It sounds to me like that would leave you with a 10% chance of getting it from him. Probably not exactly 10%, but around there. You should get into a gynecologist a.s.a.p. to get tested. I know a lot of times it doesn't have any symptoms for a while. Even if you can't get into your gynecologist, you need to go to some gynecologist so they can get you on medicine if it does turn out that you have it.
Here is Gardasil's site about the shot and Genital Warts:
http://www.gardasil.com/hpv/human-papillomavirus/genital-warts/
-Darby
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So me and this girl have been talking a lot lately, like everyday for hours, so we're way into the friend zone. And of course I really like her a lot! I'm going to ask her out when she comes back to school, which is like 45 minutes from where I live. Anyway, my question is, do I ask her to go out with me, or do I ask her to be my girlfriend? The distance thing makes me want to ask her to be my girlfriend, plus the fact that it's not like I need to ask her out to get to know her for the first time, I already know a lot about her. But asking to be my girlfriend is a little higher up on the commitment line rather than just asking her out on a date.
I think you should ask her out on a date first. It's sort of the natural progression of things, even if she does like 45 minutes from you. Ask her out to dinner and a movie or something else that she's interested. After you go on a date with her, you'll probably talk about it later and figure out if you want to change your status to boyfriend and girlfriend. Usually you hang out with a girl before you are her boyfriend, even if you guys do know each other well. You don't want to put her in the position of having to say yes to being your girlfriend before you guys really go out on a couple dates. I know I would rather a guy take me out first so I could see how I enjoy actually being with him. You could even ask her to be your girlfriend at the end of the date, if things are going well.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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Hey. So ive been seeing that you have been anwsering a lot of questions and i really like your anwsers. Anyways im 17 years old and i just lost my dad to cancer about 5 months ago. Im haveing a really really hard time right now and i was just wondering if i could like talk to you about stuff and like if you would give me adivce on how to deal with everything.
Can i contact you on like AIM or email or somthing.
Thank you so much.
Michele
You can definitely contact me by email: yo.darbyjay@live.com
or you can contact me by msn messenger: yo.darbyjay@live.com
or by yahoo messenger:
darbyjay@ymail.com
I'll be willing to talk to you at any time about any thing you have on your mind. I'm so sorry about your father.
Darby
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18/f.
my boyfriend is a somewhat famous singer, & we have been dating for a while now. i'm on tour with him right now & i keep getting really jealous, because all these girls throw themselves at him & he like kisses their hands & cheeks, and i know he doesn't actually like them, but you never.. some of the girls are so pretty, & you never what could happen, when my back is turned. Also, i kind of did something really bad. well i was really jealous because he kissed this girl on the cheek & then she grabbed his dick & i was like freaking out on the side of the stage. & so, i got really mad and i stormed off & his best friend was back in the tour bus, so.. me & h is best friend kind of had sex. & his best friend said he doesn't want to tell him, but i feel guiltly, but i don't want to tell him either, because it might ruin our relationship. he told me this was his first honest relationship in a long time, because he has gotten lied to alot in the past. we have been dating since last november. & i love him soooo much, but i just don't know if i can deal with all the jealousy and stuff. & he just recently signed a really big record deal soo.. another good reason not to break up with him. i love him with all my heart, & i know i made a mistake.
what should i do?
i can't break up with him.
Well, first of all, you need to tell him what you did. It's not an honest and true relationship if you keep things that big a secret from him. You don't need me to tell you this, but that was really wrong of you to do. You're worried about him cheating on you because he has fans, so you have sex with his best friend? Really?
I know you weren't trying to hurt him, but this is undoubtedly going to hurt your relationship. You can't be possessive, then have sex with his best friend, of course.
Honestly, I know the feeling you have. My ex boyfriend also had fans and was a fairly popular solo artist. It's hard to see girls all over your boyfriend like that, especially when you can't do anything about it. You need to remember that he is not touching them, they're touching him, and in all likelyhood, it's irritating to him too.
But those are the grounds that being a famous person (especially in a band) come with. I'm sure to him, it's only about the music. It's not like he's going backstage after shows and fooling around with groupies. He has even chosen to take you on tour with him; that's pretty big. It's a huge sign that he's being faithful to you. Because he's a singer, he has a lot of girl that would be willing to mess around with him. A lot of whores that would be willing to mess around with him. But he's not doing it. He's coming back home to you every night.
You're going to have to learn to deal with that lifestyle or break up with him. There's no way around it. I'm sure he knows how you feel. You've probably talked to him about it before; and I'm sure he's reassured you that you're the only one he cares about. If you can't deal with the groupies, you'll have to break up with him. Trust me, they're a lot more important to you than they are to him. Like I said, to him, it's probably just about the music. I'm sure he doesn't like other girls hanging on him and grabbing him like that.
I've been known to tell girls to back off at my ex's shows. I definitely know where you're coming from with that. But as you can tell, he's my ex boyfriend, not my boyfriend. (Not because of the groupies, entirely, btw) If a girl grabs your boyfriend's dick, there's absolutely nothing wrong with staring her down until she backs up. She has no right to be feeling up on anyone that she doesn't know like that, especially if you, his girlfriend, is standing right there.
Either way, tell your boyfriend what happened first, then take it from there. You need to decide whether or not you can deal with that lifestyle. If you can't, you'll have to move forward without him.
Darby
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What's the best brand of peanut butter?
I guess it depends on personal taste; mine is Jiffy (:
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is it legal to light a fire on the beach for cooking
It's illegal to start a fire in most public places unless you have a permit. You have to go to your local fire station, fill out an application, and have them survey the site, tell them why you're doing it, and show them your safety precautions. The local government has to approve it, too, which you can get further information about from the fire station.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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ok. i dont know if any one can help me but i feel like in stuck in the middle of things. i met these two guys bret and connor. i met them both at a camp counselor job. heres their descriptions:
BRET: kinda a badass. loves screamo and has a mowhawk. brown hair and eyes with freckls. gets in fight alot. likes me. really cute. i think he does drugs. hes really gentle and knows how to treat a girl.
CONNOR: really sweet. like classic rock. mediam length hair. dirty blonde and blue eyes.knows how to get what he wants. been flirting with me alot. pushes me on a swing. has glasses but they lo0ok good. hilariouse. always knows how to make people laugh. and hes really gentle and knows how to treat a girl.
Connor is definitely the better choice. Even if there was no Connor, Brett wouldn't be a good choice. Badass guys are fun to date until you have to deal with their 'badassness'. They get old really fast, and are typically just trouble. If you're into someone fully caring for you and being sweet to you, Connor is the best choice. He's already doing sweet things, pushing you on swings, etc..
Plus, it sounds like you really like Connor, even from just the little bit you've said about him. Bad boys are attractive, but in the long run, the sweeter guy is better. Plus, as you said, Connor is hilarious and knows how to treat a girl. He sounds like he really likes you, too.
If I were you, I would just stay friends with Brett and go for Connor.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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Hi! 13 1/2f - Jimmy 15 1/2m
Well, my friend and I.. Jimmy, we like each other A LOT. He told me he loved me, and i love him to. :) We met at the public pool in our town. My friend and i wouldn't stop staring. He wouldn't either! WE talked and flirted, the week after after we started to get to know each other he told me he liked me. I said i liked him to.
It seems to me that there's a lot you don't know about him. I'm sure he's kind and everything, but I'm sure he knows why a ton of people hate him. You need to figure that information out, because it could be harmful to you. He must have done something to make a lot of people mad. People don't just randomly hate one person for no reason, usually. Especially not to the extent that people are calling him and telling him to kill himself.
You should also find out why he doesn't want to date. These are important questions that you need answers to. If he's a nice guy, he'll understand your concerns and answer clearly and directly. He didn't really give you a reason for not dating you, just 'I can't', which worries me. It could be any number of things. I'm not saying he's a bad guy, but it's definitely something you should look into before pursuing anything further with him.
As for his father, that is sad and you should pray for him (if you're religious), as he asked. In the meantime, let him know that you're there for him any time. Let him know that he can call you if he needs someone to talk to, and that his he and his father are in your prayers.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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it been awhile now. I have this Drainess and coughing and clearing out my thoat like a old man sorry if that offend anybody... thing is that I say i have cleft palated. and i not shure some have do with it. thing is that my glends are sore and swellen little bit. i do have web in my neck they say that sometime ur gleand feel like apple or butterfly. i think my is butterfly. i really can't stop i try everything, Hunny,lemon,Tea. hot water. warm water with salt, I mean everything i try and try meds for it. oness everybody say help muces start with m. I know i sould go to the doctore but they don't seem find anything some reaosn. i not sure. i do have egg allgery. i can't smell or taste well little bit i can tasste. inot sure i know i probly not find anybody with bit information or know or this and that. but i want to try.
thanks
It sounds like you might have allergies or a sinus infection. You need to go to a doctor again and tell them the medications you're currently taking are not working. Tell them all of your symptoms and that your glands are swollen. Tell them everything you've tried (honey, tea, salt water, and all of the medications you've taken)
If you're current doctor cannot figure out the problem, try going to a different doctor or going to an allergist (someone that specialises in allergies). I'm sure they will be able to provide further insight.
Darby(:
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hey.. im 14/f
i have been masturbating for 2 years.... it can be addictive at times. Well i am stopping BUT i heard you can do damage physically to something. like tearing or something IDK? anyways i dont go in side i just kinda rub. Its not like fingering or anything. I was just wondering... could i damage something or anything. And if so is it bad. im really worried i did something. just from hearing all these things. nothing hurts though. and i did it once during my period. IS THAT BAD??
please answer a.s.a.p. thnxs :)
Masturbating is completely normal and healthy in most cases. The horror stories you're hearing probably happened with people that were being much.. rougher.. than you are. You're not even entering the vagina at all, so you can't do any damage.
What people are probably talking about is messing up the reproductive system while it is still developing. Plenty of people masturbate at young ages though. The people in the stories you have heard have done something other than just normal rubbing/fingering. They've probably stuck something much larger and harder inside of themselves and been extremely rough enough to tear something inside of them. And I mean, very rough.
Also, it's okay to masturbate on your period.
Darby(:
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14/f
hey i am going into high school in september and i am kinda scared. everyone says it is awesome but others say theirs drugs (especially at our school) and that since i am new to the school they dont really care about you. i also dont wanna take the bus to school. And i am kinda scared of the gr. 11 and 12's. any tips or guidance would be GREATLY appreciated thnxs!!
I'm sure 95% of the people that read this know the exact feeling. Most people feel like that when they're going into high school. It's a new experience with new people, so it's understandable to have apprehensions.
First of all, with the drugs, there may be drugs at your school, but you don't have to take them. No one is going to try to get you to take their drugs. The only way the drugs will be part of your life in any way is if you take money, find the people with the drugs, and buy drugs off of them. There were drugs at my high school, but trust me, no one's standing in the hallways snorting coke and waving joints around. If there are drugs in your school at all, it will be extremely extremely hushhush, to the point where you won't even know it's going on unless you're hanging around the people selling/buying them. The staff stays on top of things like that, having drug dogs raid the school and sniff lockers and stuff like that (at least at my school they did). I never saw any drugs at school, but I know a couple of people got busted for having them. They virtually had no effect on me or anyone I was around, because we didn't do them.
As far as the 11th and 12th graders go, trust me, they'll leave you be. Especially the seniors, who aren't really how they portray them in movies. They're minds are focused on graduating. They aren't even in the mindset to mess with freshmen (usually), because they're 17-18 years old and are typically more mature than that.
You think that being new is a bad thing, but really, it isn't. You have a totally fresh slate with everyone at the school. The only freshmen I ever knew to get picked on, got picked on because of issues with things they did while they were still in junior high. Usually it involved messing around with a high school girl's boyfriend. Then, when they get into high school, they're picked on a little bit. But, again, staff stays on top of things like this usually.
As everyone is saying, they're not going to care about you. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing to you. The only way it could be bad is if you really want to hang out with the juniors and seniors for some reason. Everyone has their own group of friends, and unless you do something you shouldn't do (like mess with someone's bf), you'll totally be in the clear.
Over the summer, try to make friends with people around your age so you'll already have a group of friends when you get into high school. It's really not as big of a deal as it seems. People just go to class, go to lunch, then go home. There's a lot of drama, but it's fairly easy to avoid. The juniors and seniors may be older than you, but they have zero authority over the school and the things that happen there.
Darby(:
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14/f
(I'm going into 9th grade this fall)
So basically I've never had good self esteem, but lately it's really plummeted. I feel like I'm weird or something...like I act really...weird. I don't know how to describe it. Like one of the weird kids in school. I've always wondered if I was...but I have lots of friends and everything...some are kind of weird and some aren't, but I didn't think they rubbed off on me. But I've been noticing lately...over the summer, I've been doing nothing...hanging out with people once every few weeks. But I had a sleepover with my best friend (who's friends with lots of popular people) and we were like taking turns on the Wii and Facebook and everything and I realised I kept saying things like "I'll own you!"(to the Wii) or "sketchy" and stuff and I felt really stupid because she would give me this look every time I did something I felt was dorky or something... believe me, my best friend is not shallow at all and I love her to death so don't blame it on her or something.
But anyways, I feel really ugly and that I have no friends and no one wants to hang out with me...I just feel like a total loser.
Last week on Facebook I posted some chain note thing where you tagged a bunch of your friends and then they were supposed to say their first impressions of you. So a bunch of people responded and the first to posts were from some of my best friends and they both said "haha, i thought u were quiet and weird...ily:)" which made me feel so stupid. The rest were like "idr" or "nice and quiet". I know I'm really quiet, and I really don't know what to do about it. I never thought it made people think I was weird though.
So could I please get some advice? I need to know how to not get so nervous around people (/being quiet) and whatever else...
Oh also, please don't give me the whole "you shouldn't care about what other people think of you" speech because I really don't care. I've heard that enough. This isn't me wondering how I can be popular or something. I truly just feel like a complete loser.
Thanks
I'm extremely quiet too when I first meet people. Usually after people have known me for a while, they say things like "I thought you were weird when I first met you." or "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."
Simply because I don't talk my head off the second I meet people. Everyone is different and to me, there's no reason to share every detail of my life the minute a meet a group of people. Even knowing how people think of me at first, I don't really care because I know that once they get to know me, they'll like me. (usually)
The only thing you can do to change the way your first impression comes off is to talk more and follow the conversation. Just take a deep breath, clear your mind, and try to stay on topic. I've always had a hard time following conversations among groups, because I think people are boring most of the time. I just zone out and can't really be arsed to follow what they're saying.
But, if you're the type of person that can follow the conversation, pitch in your opinion every couple minutes. You'll show your personality off, so people won't be able to base their opinion off of you on you being quiet. They'll be forced to listen and get to know you before they pass off any judgement.
Also, I'm not going to give you a 'don't care what people thing' speech, but in reality, being weird is not really a bad thing. I've had plenty of people like me because they think I'm strange. The same personalities get boring from time to time.
Yeah, your friends might have thought you were quiet and weird when they first met you (and I know all too well how frustrating that is) but, they are your friends now. That means they like your weirdness, or they got to know you and they like your personality.
And, just so you know, I think saying things like 'I will own you' to inanimate objects is funny. haha. Your friend probably just doesn't have the same sense of humour as you. You could think she's the weird one too, ya know? Different people just have different personalities, and it's a good thing.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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Erm well, there's this guy i like, obviously. He's a school friend and we have started to talk like all the time, he even texts me at 1am sometimes just to 'have a chat' anyway i noticed that when he first started texting me he always ended his messages with one 'x'as like a kiss, and over the weeks one kiss has become 3 and often ended with a casual 'luv ya', but i don't know if its just because we have gotten closer or because he actually likes me, i'm really quite confused...
It seems to me that he probably likes you. Typically, a guy wouldn't spend the energy and time talking to a girl that often if he just wanted to be friends. The fact that he texts you late at night 'just to chat' and ends conversations with 'luv ya' shows that he's probably interested in you on a different level.
The best thing you can do is hint around about it. You don't have to directly ask him if he likes you (which isn't a bad option, but I understand if you don't want to do that). Mention something about how he adds more x's at the end of his messages now. Ask him if he has any crushes (I'm guessing he doesn't have a gf).
By asking that, you'll be opening up the conversation of relationships. If he does have a crush on you, it would be a great opportunity for him to say that he does have a crush on someone, and hint around that he has a crush on you. People usually don't just outright say when they have a crush on someone at first; although it would make things a lot easier.
Playing 20 questions is also a quick way to figure out if a guy likes you, because it typically comes up somewhere within the 20 questions. The next time you're texting, you should just ask if he has a crush, or see if he wants to play 20 questions and see where that leads you.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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if you go skinny dipping with a guy and you fool around and he cums can you get pregnant? or will the water kill it, what about ocean water?
If he cums in you, you can get pregnant whether you're in normal water or ocean water. If he cums into the water, it is highly, highly unlikely that you will get pregnant. The sperm would have to swim through the water and into your vagina. I'd say the chances of that happening are slim to none.
Darby(:
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What is the best attitude to take with a conceited player that will drive him crazy!??? i was thinking to just ignore him and pay attention to everyone else and he would hate it...but what are some other opinions on here? What do u guys think?
You've pretty much got the right idea. You don't have to completely ignore him; but just act like you don't care either way. Don't compliment him, and if he compliments you be short with him, like, "oh yeah? cool."
Usually conceited players are used to getting praise from girls all the time (for not doing much of anything, other than being annoying). If you act like you don't care what he's doing or don't let him know that you think he's good looking or 'cool', it will drive him crazy because he's so accustomed to girls going wild for him and stroking his ego.
Good luck (;
Darby(:
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i have always enjoyed your advice and wondered if you could help me with a similar situation to this one:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=567424
so it also has happened to me too, kind of, except a little more happened but we did not get too far even though it almost did. i thought it was out of the blue but he thinks it just happened. i have no idea.
i kind of made the mistake of asking him what it all meant afterwords (waited couple of days to ask) and didn't really get a clear answer so i kind of probed further and he said he didn't know what to say about it, that it just happened in th moment. and later used the "just friends" line of course but the reason makes sense because he's leaving (long story) and i have the option of pretty much never speaking to him again.
we were both a little tipsy (but not really) when it happened. and i feel like crap for liking him too much and he prob thinks nothing of it (dunno). when i confronted him about it, i am stupid and confessed my crush and asked him about his feelings and i'm not sure if he felt like he had to say he liked me back when i asked so he didn't sound like a jerk, but he's not really a liar type either. maybe he just said it to comfort me? and it's not like i'd know either way
and i don't know what to think bc it kind of did seem like he liked me at least a little (reasons), even though its hard to tell with him bc he's not a guy that's easy to figure out. maybe he didn't like me that much to care beyond anything and he kind of got into my pants so mission accomplished?!
i think it's a mean thing to do to someone. i don't know how he thought i would be okay. he wanted to hang out later but like he never really got back to me and i'm just not gonna ask until he does, which may be never. so. fine. right?
why would something like that take place if the other party wasn't interested? he isn't really the player type, not that i know him that well, but without divulging too much personal info about him, i am not sure. it just pisses me off. its prob something like how he thought it wasn't going to be awkward and i made a big deal out of it. not sure.
what do you mean when you say that you have made out with some guy friends and not have it be awkward? when was the moment "right" and how did you guys both know that it was going to normal after a few days?
i dont know how much this reveals or if there's anything that can be said about this because i'm leaving specific details out and he's different, but thanks for reading and helping people out.
My encounters with guys like this have taken place with people I've been fairly good friends with for 1-3 years, but no longer than that. I think the longer you know someone, the more awkward hooking up with them would be. If you knew someone since you were 8 years old, then made out with them 9 years later, it would make it way more awkward because it would be like, 'okay, why did that not happen before?' You know?
With the people I've randomly hooked up with, it varies as far as how awkward it is. One person I hooked up with like that was extremely awkward afterwards. We're not friends anymore and haven't really been since that happen about a year and a half ago. We had only known each other a year, but it was a situation where I was looking into it too much (like you in this situation), and he thought of it as just a random thing that didn't matter.
Another friend that I made out with was completely not weird or awkward afterwards. We were partying (like you and the guy in this situation) and one thing just led to another and we made out for a little while. The next day when we woke up, we just kind of blushed a little bit and I left. We gave each other a couple days apart, then I went to hang out with him again. Our conversation went almost exactly like this, "That was weird that we hooked up like that, we've been friends for three years and that's the first time that's happened.." Then he said, "Yeah, I think it was just because we were drinking and stuff" (And that's exactly how I felt about it too) so we both just laughed and I agreed. Then I said, "You wanna watch a movie?" and that was the last time we talked about it.
I think the issue is how each person feels about it. If one person looks into it too much and the other doesn't, it makes things awkward. But if both people just think of it as a random thing, or both people want to talk about the possibility of a relationship- it's not so weird because you're both thinking the same thing.
I think in your particular situation, you're looking into it, and he's just thinking of it as being a random hookup that doesn't really matter or need further investigation. Like he just wants to move on and not talk about it anymore. But he did tell you he has a crush on you, too. Whether or not he really does, he's the only one that knows. He could be saying that to make you feel better, or he could really think that.
You mentioned that he's leaving, so it's probably best not to invest any more feelings into him. There is also a big possibility that the reason he's not acting very into it, is because he's leaving. If he really does like you, it would explain why he's saying that it was just a random thing. He doesn't want to invest any feelings and get hurt when he leaves, or hurt you when he leaves.
Random hookups are very complicated, especially when they're with friends. It can make for some very bad or very good situations, depending on each individual case. That's why it's probably best not to do random hookups with friends without knowing where each of you stand. If he had said before you fooled around, "Now, we're just friends and this is a heat of the moments sort of thing", you'd know exactly where he stood before it happened. But, because hooking up doesn't work like that (usually), it leaves you wondering what was going through his mind when it happened.
You asked about the moment being 'right'. What I mean by that is the setting, the mood, the time, and the situation. If the setting is an empty room at a party, you're both a little bit tipsy and the room is dark except for a moonlight shining in the window- the setting is perfect for a random hook up. You know?
The same way a beach at night, with moon shining down on a couple and the waves crashing against the shore is the perfect setting for a romantic relationship.
Since you're both a little drunk, you're probably in a good mood, you know each other so you're comfortable; hormones tend to take hold every once in a while.
See, you guys wouldn't have hooked up if you were stone sober in a Wal-Mart toy aisle. It was probably night and you were probably alone. You guys were a little bit intoxicated. The setting almost influences your mind a little, if you know what I mean.
As far as the guy in your situation, he's leaving. If you really want to know what was up with it, you need to ask him directly: "Was that just a hook up to you, or did you think it had some meaning behind it?" It's not like it matters if he gets angry and doesn't want to talk after that, because if you don't get things cleared up, you'll probably not be able to be friends much anymore because you'll be wondering what it meant.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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these girls say they are going to come kick my ass both of them dont know how to fight im not really worried about it but do you have any tips on fighting?
My only tip about fighting is not to do it. Yeah, I know, typical answer. But really, it's totally pointless. Even if you can kick there ass, you're probably going to get in trouble if you do it. My friend got in a fight and hardly hurt the other girl and she got thrown in jail, then juvy for a week and a half.
Really, you don't need to talk it out either. When people have a problem with me like that, I say, "Okay. You don't like me. I don't like you. I think we've reached an agreement. Goodbye now."
You don't have to respond to them. If they're sending you e-mails, calling you, or telling other people they're going to fight you; just ignore them. Once they see that you're not going to act like a 12 year old, they'll probably feel a bit stupid for even trying it.
If they keep harassing you, one call to the cops will stop them dead in their tracks, guaranteed. I'm sure you don't want to get the cops involved, so unless they're continuously bothering you, just ignore them.
P.S. if they do come to your house or something, stay inside and call the police. They're guaranteed a trip to jail/juvy for coming on your property to fight you. If they jump you, protect your face/head.
-Darby
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me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 7 months. hes 17 and im 16 i was wondering how can i keep our text convos more interesting and lively instead of often asking "whats up?" or "what are you doing now?" please help me. thanks
The more detailed you are, the more detailed he'll be. When he says, "What are you doing?" Don't say "nothing" unless you're literally sitting on the floor not doing anything. If you're watching a movie, say, "I'm watching (Movie Title)" If you're reading a book say, "I'm reading (Book Title)" If you're talking to a parent, say "I'm talking to my father about (Topic Conversation)". It's way more interesting than, "meh, nothing. yeah, fine. okay."
You could also play 20 questions, which is usually fun. You've been dating for 7 months so it might not work out so well because it would be hard to think of things to ask, but you could try it anyway.
There are so many things to talk about, just bring something completely random up. If you're interested in a certain band, talk about that. If you want to go to space, talk about that. If someone's made you angry, talk about that.
Break out of the normal trend and say something that's on your mind. It might seem a little random, but it will keep your relationship fresh and will give you something new to talk about.
Darby(:
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I am hearing that Mr. Cronkite died today, but I don't understand why it is all over the news absolutely everywhere? He is just a news reporter guy right? I feel bad for asking this, but I feel worse for not knowing. Yes I know he was a news anchor, but there are lots of those out there, so what makes Walter Cronkite so special? I don't even understand why Michael Jackson is such a big deal, and who ever even heard of Walter Cronkite until today?
Thnaks!
Eh, he's a popular news anchor for a lot of reasons. First of all, he did the CBS Nightly News for a like 2 decades, and any anchor on there is going to get a lot of popularity. Plus, he's the news anchor who broke the news about the Kennedy assassination, so he's remembered for that, too.
People like Michael Jackson and Walter Cronkite might not be important to you, but to people living during the Kennedy assassination and during Jackson's prime years, they're important people. And in response to your last question, I think most people have heard of Walter Cronkite, haha.
Here's the wiki site for him if you want more information:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Cronkite
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So it's kind of a complicated/long scenario. I was friends with girl #1 for a few months, and had one of the biggest crushes on her ever. We lived apart at the time, so I never told her. She ended up getting engaged which broke my heart. Anyway, the engagement didn't work out, and now she's single again. She's not exactly my type, and to be honest I'm not sure if I can see myself with her forever, but I still really enjoy hanging out with her, I'm the most comfortable around her, and I'm super attracted to her.
Girl #2, I met back in March, we talked off and on but she also went after another guy. That lasted like 3 weeks, and actually the entire time we still talked. The past two weeks, we've been talking nonstop though, like literally everyday for multiple hours. I'm really falling for her, but she lives a long ways away until she comes back to school after summer. She will live 45 minutes away from me, but it's worth it because we have all kinds of stuff in common. Plus I can already tell she likes me even though we haven't actually said it to each other.
Girl #3 is my best friend and first love. She just got out of a really bad relationship, and she keeps coming to me. Everytime we're together now it's really flirty, but she broke my heart the worst about 4 years back. Plus I wouldn't be able to get with her for at least 2 years due to her location.
I'm really starting to like #2, but me and #1 never had a chance to get anything going and I'm still curious about where that could've went. #3 is somewhat out of the picture for now in my mind, but I still think that she could be the one.
Basically my conundrum deals with hurting girls. Since I'm basically rebound guy for all 3, they've all been hurt recently. I'm nervous about hurting #2 the most. I know there's a lot more into each girl that I can't explain, but with what I've put here, who should I go after? I've never had a decision like this in my life.
Well you're right about one thing, you'd be a rebound for each of the girls. If I were you, I would just keep talking to them for a while and see where they're going to go and where you're going to go. You don't want to be a rebound, because the second their heart is mended, they might throw you on the back burner; and that's where you would stay after that.
But, you want to know who you should go after so:
Girl #1: I really wouldn't go for this girl because she just got out of an engagement. Her heart is aching now and you have no idea what she might do. She very well could make up with her ex-fiance and become his fiance again. As you said, her getting engaged in the first place broke your heart, since you had a big crush on her at the time, why put yourself at risk of going through that twice? People that have dated long enough to become engaged are the people that can break up and jump right back into their relationship a week later. If I were you, I'd just stay friends and try to be supportive because she is hurting right now.
Girl #2: Easily your best bet, although there are a couple concerns with her as well. First of all, why did she only date a guy for 3 weeks? I mean, I guess it could have just been a quick fling, but you also need to keep in mind that she was talking to you still those three weeks she was dating him. In your question, you state it like it's a good thing (and it is for you), but as her boyfriend, you've got to be able to trust her; and that shows untrustworthy behaviour. But, as you said, you're falling for her and talking to her non-stop. I'd say she's the best choice out of the three girls.
Girl #3: Pretty much out of the question. You wouldn't even be able to be with her for 2 years, and to be quite honest, it sounds like you've wasted enough time on her. It's hard to get over your first love no matter what ends up happening to the relationship, but you shouldn't put yourself up for getting your heart broken again. It's nice that you can be a support system for her as she just got out of a bad relationship, but I'd leave it at just that. Especially since you even stated that she's not really in your mind right now. Just try to be a good friend and be there for her for now.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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