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fair warning this is sorta long. sorry, but please please read it. i'm desperate. i rewrote it zillions of times to make it a bearable length to read. also i will leave out some details to remain totally anonymous.
Here's the background on the situation. I'm 17 and a girl, my best friend, also a girl, just turned 20. we've only known each other for about two years and until last week we never lived closer than 2 lay-overs and 5 hours in a plane away from each other. the timing that we met was perfect because we needed each other in that moment. we became best friends in no time, we told each other we loved each other and were sisters till the end.
we had always been cuddly and slept in the same bed snuggled up with each other, but the next summer things got a little to close sometimes. another long story short, we ended up making out a few times. the first time was really "intense" nothing too much (thank goodness) just kissing and such. we were kissy all night like on the cheeks and forehead any pretty much everywhere except the mouth area. then she sorta crossed the line. i was shocked and freaked out. she asked if thats what i wanted and i couldn't get words to come out. i just shrugged and the makeout sesh continued for a while. another time it happened, i think it might have been my fault, but it got stopped thankfully, and another time just cutesy little pecks,mostly her, and still inappropriate for friends, but less so than the first time.
about 6 months later we were finally able...er i was finally able to discuss it like a normal human being. some bad stuff happened to me when i was younger, so sexual things even just kissing and relationship discussions make me a little uncomfortable. we found out at the time we sort of wanted to be more than friends but neither had the guts to admit it.
now go forward again about 7 months.
unfortunately i think i'm still hung up on the kissing, and wanting to be more than friends thing. i love her a lot, but i never want to lose her. and now she has a boyfriend so i'd feel like a selfish ass to bring it up. so here i sit again at 3:30am stressing out about this. i know that being more than friends isn't something i want in the long run. i want to marry a man and have kids and be a happy family. and i want my friend to be like their aunt and i want her and her husbands kids to be friends with me and my husbands kids, but right now i think i want to be "with" her. sometimes in my right mind i know that that's not possible and that it's not really what i want, but other times it eats me alive.
if you read this far, thank you so so so much. this has been killing me for almost a year now. here are my "simple" questions. what on earth do i do? do i tell her how i feel? or do i be a good friend and stuff those feelings down and never tell her how crazy she makes me when she talks about how in love she is with this new boyfriend and how they plan on getting married and all this other stuff? all these late nights in tears are wearing me down, i'm open to any advice anyone has.
I think if you are really in love with her, you have to change your picture of what you want your life to be. You're not meaning to, but in a way you're saying that you are just interested in something for the time being, like maybe a toy, and you want to play with that toy a whole bunch, but when you're done, you want it to be in the same condition it was before.
It sounds like you have a lot more soul-searching to do before you ask her to trash her relationship.
how can you grow your hair faster
Take prenatal vitamins.
This is the first time I've ever been in love. And I'm upset every day.
He broke it off because he can't handle a relationship now. He says he still loves me, and always will, I'm amazing but there's too much 'bullshit' and things going on in his life.
I don't even want to look at another guy. I want to wait two days and have this boy come back to me saying he thought it over and he wants me back, for good.
I'm in love and hurting so badly; what happens now? How do I cope and what do I do...
Deep down inside, you know whether this guy loves you or he doesn't. You talk to that little part of yourself that knows the truth.
How do you make it not hurt at all, besides using lubricant. Im scared that its going to hurt because hes big and I dont want it to hurt real bad because I know it will. My friend told me that having sex for the first time feels like your getting knives stuck in you... and the the pain is unbearable. I dont want it to feel that way.. Please help
You do it with a guy who is gentle and patient. If you don't want it to hurt at all you will choose to lose your virginity with someone who is delicate with your heart and body. It won't hurt at all because he'll know that the best lubricant ever is made right there in the vagina, and he'll love your body so much you won't want to say no.
Below my eye there is puffiness, just under one eye. I've had this for a month. on my other eye its fine, all you see are tiny tiny lines (that evryone has) but on the other demented eye, it exsentuates the wrinkles, puffing them up, red, and wrinkling looking, and itchy, and dry. I dont think its an allergic reaction, cuz it only happened to one eye. I need to know what it is! Does ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT THIS IS, AND HOW I CAN MAKE IT NORMAL???
It could be a sty, or something that can be removed with heat. The best thing to do is hard boil an egg, and when it cools enough that you can stand it, put it on the eye and keep it there until it cools. This may encourage any liquid that is coagulating there to ooze out. If you are having lots of gooey stuff (which you didn't mention, so I'm assuming you don't) it is pink eye.
what are some good songs that say im over you?
Already Gone--The Eagles
You're No Good--Linda Ronstat (maybe Rondstat)
Didn't We Almost Have it All?--Whitney Houston
How's It Gonna Be?--(maybe 3 Doors down)
To the Left--Beyonce
Hold On-Wilson Phillips
She Hates Me--Puddle of Mud
Midnight Rider--The Eagles
ok so like today i went on a bike ride with my best friend her kinda bf like there talking and his friend. when we were close to being home we all stopped to talk and then my friend road off on her bike but i stayed to talk and like my friends kinda bf was like telling his friend to touch my boobs and i didnt care whatever. but the jimmy her kinda bf was like if u flash me i willl moter boat u and i rly wanted him to because i rly like him to so i did and he moter boated me then he was feeling me and i was like i gtg see ya later and i left.
so what should i do should i just keep it between me and him or tell her ??
and dose that make me a slut?
Well, I'll answer the easy question first: No, that doesn't make you a slut. All of us girls need to get that word, "slut," out of our dictionary. Every sexual experience can have a positive outcome, even if it's only that we've learned what not to do in the future. When you start labeling yourself because of your sexual choices you allow your sex life to define you, instead of the other way around.
That said, the answer to your question "does this count as cheating?" all depends on what you mean by "kinda boyfriend." As a rule of thumb; if you wouldn't want your friend to do it to you, you shouldn't do it to them. You may have had a great time motor boating, but think of how hurt your friend is going to be when she finds out (and yes, if you value your friendship you should definately tell her the truth)about your wonderful afternoon. When a person you like flirts with someone else, especially your friend, it hurts so bad. It can really make it hard for you to trust someone again. Also, one thing you should remember; what goes around comes around, and one day it will be you sitting at home while your friend is getting fondled by your sorta boyfriend that you want to make your really boyfriend.
The best you can do now is damage control. You should accept responsibility, tell your friend, and leave it at that. Don't go into any games, like calling the guy on three-way so your friend can hear for herself what a dog he is. Don't forget, in this case, you're the dog too, so don't try to put the blame on him. It is fine for you to say that he started the whole thing, but admit your part in it too.
Also, most importanly-you did what you did because you thought the guy was cute and you wanted to--NOT because you wanted a motor boat ride. I know you feel bad, so you're looking for an excuse to explain why you did what you did, but making yourself out to be the kind of girl who would use her body to get a cheap boat ride isn't the way to go.
What to dooooooo. I like this guy, he's sixteen, I'm fifteen, he's one grade above and he's kinddd of friends with my ex. I like him... haha. But I just don't know how to make that transition from eh friends to "talking"/having a thing. I've texted him a few times but I want HIM to make a move. I've been pretty flirty but I think he see's it as just playin around. He mentioned something about "brotherly love" haha. I don't wanna rush into things... he's kind of flirted. He tells me he loves me and that he wants to marry me haha and he changed his name in my phone to "My lover ;)" but again... I think he's just playin around. I wanna hang out with him a bit more to like maybe establish some flirting but I jsust don't know how to do this without being extremely forward, beacuase I like for the guy to chase me :)! Help!
Tell the guy you are interested in that you met this mysteriously sexy stranger who has been chasing you. Tell him, "I don't know, at first I wasn't really interested, but it really attracts me when a guy chases me." If this guy likes you, even a little, he will get jealous and start chasing you.
Soooo... one of my really good friends is a girl, she's a year younger. (I'm seventeen, she's sixteen). Well since she's younger, and a really good friend, I'm kinda protective of her. She's pretty much like my little sis. Yeah, she's hot but she's also like 5'4/100 lbs... Sooo mix her tiny body with juuust a pinch of alcohol and she's every guy's dream. A hot drunk girl. It really doesn't take much to get her wasted. See, I don't even approve of decent guys for her (what brother does??) but when we got out to parties and stuff and she's wasted and all these d-bags are tryin to get on her, I have to protect her. Which I don't mind too much, but I'm worried about her. That if I'm not there, some guys gonna take advantage of her. I've tried to tell her about this... tell her I'm concerned about her but she WANTS to hook up with guys... And nothing I say can get her to take it easy on the booze and be a little smarter with the boys. She's gonna get her self in trouble! And I just don't knwo what to do... She's my bestfriend but I don't OWN her ya know?? If she wants to get her drink on and hook up, I'm still gonna love her but I'm worried...
every person needs to make their own mistakes and learn their own lessons, and the only thing you can do is support her decisions and be her shoulder to cry on if she gets hurt.
17/f
seriously, this is probably the worse thing that ever happend to me, and if you laugh i understand =/ haha. i went to my friends house got drunk, came to my boyfriends house and he was also drinking with his friends in the backyard. we hooked up in his bed, and i was drunk so i fell asleep after cuddling for awhile. anyways he left to let me sleep and he calls me the next morning saying i wet his bed ! =X oh and weve been going out for almost a year by the way.. anyways.. no offence but italian families tell eachother everything, and he asked his mom how to clean off piss and said I peed and everythingg ... and worse off he couldnt clean it, and its an EXPENSIVE mattress (800) his mom told his sister, who (HATES ME CAUSE IM NOT "FASHIONABLE") and his sister told his dad. so i havent gone over his house since but hes came here. honestly how the hell do i go back to his house and deal with all of this..... jesusss help me; i dont even have a job to pay for it.
Number one--what a compliment to your relationship with your boyfriend and his family that he can say something like that to his mother.
number two-of course they are going to rib you about it. You deserve to be ribbed about it. That's what families do. The only thing you should watch out for is that his sister keeps it in the family and doesn't go blurting it out to anyone else.
Number three-take a little time and think of a great one-liner that will break the ice. Something like, "If me and Johnny ever break up I will have the satisfaction of knowing any other girl will be getting a pee-ce of me," well, that's actually not that great, but you get the point.
Number four-realize that this story is never going to go away, and ten years from now it is going to be a family joke, whether you are his girl, or not. Laugh it off just like they are.
Number five-I am sure that there must be something you can do to help clean it up. Shaw's rents a carpet cleaner with an upholstery setting for around $30, and I'm sure there are other methods, too. Plenty of mattresses have gotten peed on, so there is some product somewhere that will help.
If the two of you have been together for a year than his famiy cares about you and isn't going to hold it against you. Hey, it could be worse, you could have been sleeping on the couch.
Last week i met this guy that I thought was so interesting and fun to be around, and I really like everything about him, especially his personality. The more I got to know him, the more attractive he was to me. I've never met anyone like him, and he's definitely my type in many ways. He was very sweet and respectful of me, and in my opinion, we flirted a little bit. I didn't really realize that I liked him until afterward, though, so I wasn't going out of my way to flirt with him while we were together.
Some of the things he said and did lead me to believe that he could possibly like me. He looked at me a lot and then looked away, and mid-conversation he said "I'm not coming onto you, but you're pretty." And, I spent the whole night with him and his friend. When we had to leave, he gave me a HUGE hug. And he took pictures of himself on my cell phone "so that I wouldn't forget about him."
I just don't understand why a guy would do those things if he wasn't interested. I don't expect him to be in love with me; we just met...but I still am a little confused because:
There are a number of things that make me think that he doesn't like me. For example - I'm 2 years older than him and I had a boyfriend when I met him, and he knew that. (I broke up with my boyfriend after I met this guy. The breakup wasn't because I met this guy, though. The new guy doesn't know that my bf and I are broken up yet.)
The reason I need help is because this guy's all that I've been thinking about for days, to the point where I have butterflies and can barely eat, but I'm the kind of girl who doesn't want to be too pushy:
Since we just met I don't want to chase him away. I would feel better if he talked to me first because I don't want him to think that I'm too clingy or obsessing over him, (in my mind I kind of feel like I am, but I don't want it to show.) but he hasn't talked to me since. I added him on facebook and he accepted me without a word. Also, the day we met he gave me his number and told me to text him and I did text him that day, but he never replied to my text. He's out of town for a week though, so I decided that I would attempt one more time to talk to him when he gets back.
I'm just so confused though! Why would a guy act like he did and then just not talk to me after? What does this mean? I just don't want this great guy to slip away. Thanks
The answer to Facebook is easy: The guy thinks you have a boyfriend, so he isn't going to say or write anything that might be inappropriate. The texting could be the same too. Think about how you would react if he had a girlfriend; you wouldn't know how their relationship is, and if his girl will check his messages, or whatever, and you would definately think twice before communicating.
If I were you, I would think that this guy was just paying me a nice compliment and leave it at that. If something developes later, that's great, but if not, oh well. Also, beware, because he definately sounds like a player. I mean, it is more likely than not that he acts that way with all the ladies. After all, it's not like he had to take a picture of you with his phone so he wouldn't forget you.
I'm not tring to make this guy out to be a bad person. Really, he was sweet and made you feel good about yourself, which is always nice; no harm, no foul. Just realize that it's really easy to be a "great guy" for one night, and the truth is you really don't know him, just yet.
If I were you I wouldn't text him again. Remember, he wasn't expecting you and your boyfriend to suddenly break up, so anything he said was without the expectation of any sort of commitment. As far as Facebook, comment when you have something to say, but make sure you're not overdoing it. Don't even tell him you're not with your boyfriend unless he asks or you have a good segway. Don't just blurt out, "I broke up with my boyfriend," out of the blue because it will be obvious you are fishing.
If he really likes you, he will tell you again. Guys are just like girls; sometimes we flirt and say things to a person who is in a relationship because we see them as "safe." We know we can have fun with them without things getting too heavy. If he tells you again that he thinks you're pretty after he finds out your single then you can take him seriously.
Im 17 f. So theres this guy, lets call him joe. joe and i was having sex since november. we both are in a relationship with some one else. Even though i know that joe is a dog and is only using me for sex i cant leave him alone. I hate that i keep having sex with him, i really want to stop. I know im not insecure so what could be the reason why i allow this boy to treat me like im nothing?
First, Joe isn't treating you like you're nothing. It's not exactly an insult when a man wants to have sex with you. Second, he may be thinking exactly the same way you are. Maybe he thinks you're just using him for sex. Who knows? Truth of the matter is, you are treating him exactly the same way he treats you.
In school, I can be sitting in class, listening to the lesson, trying not to fall asleep, minding my own busines, and all of a sudden I feel panicky and dizzy like I might faint. I want to know, is this normal for a 14 year old? I dont know what I'd possibly have to worry about. I really need some help with this, because school starts in a month, and I dont want to feel like this on my first day of high school!
Your symptoms sound like you are getting dehydrated. Are you drinking enough liquids in the morning? Are you putting something in your stomach before school? A person who is dehydrated will suddenly feel faint and dizzy.
I am 14 years old, and I would like to know, is it possible that I have a gum disease? I brush my teeth twice a day. I used to not brush them at all, but its not like I did that everyday. I did brush them, just not twice a day like I do now. I know the damage is already done, but I'd like to know what this is. A couple of my teeth are just a TAD loose, but not seriously loose. I've noticed that my gums appear to be "falling apart" for lack of a better word, but its only my bottom gums. My mom told me that if I brush my teeth, they'll get better, but I feel as if brushing them will destroy the gums more. When I first noticed it, I started FREAKING OUT! I started crying, and worrying about dying. I know this was an exaggeration, but you cant blame me for feeling ugly, destroyed, hopeless, and alone.
Number one rule about teeth---and I can't say this enough--FLOSSING!
You can brush your teeth 20 times a day and it won't help as much as flossing just once.
Also, it's not an exaggeration to freak out about your teeth. It is common to have dreams that your teeth are falling out one by one, and other things like that.
Also, another commn mistake that people make is that they brush their teeth too hard, which can make their gums look red and messed up. All you need is a soft-bristle brush and a little pressure to get your teeth clean. Try brushing a little more gently and flossing every day and your teeth will always be healthy.
Hi Guys
To begin with, I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 months now. Everything is great except one thing. Before we got together, we knew eachother, we weren't like good friends but we had mutual friends. He had a girlfriend and he always used to talk about her and how he loved her. I didn't really see him until about 5 months later and he didn't have a girlfriend then. He flirted, and we got along great. He seemed perfect. We met again in April, and by May we were together. My mutual friends said before we met again in April, he was upset that his girlfriend had finished their relationship and that he wanted her back.
I wasn't sure what to think of this, I felt quite used. I confronted him about it and he denied it - he said they ended their relationship 3 months ago, our friends say differently. He says he loves me - and that he never loved her. I also know that's a lie because i'd heard him say it before. He's denied all of this, which annoys me so much because I know he's lying. I have given him every opportunity to admit he's lying and he hasn't.
I really, really like this guy which is why i'm so unsure what to do. In every other way he's perfect but he's so defensive about his ex. I've never been jealous or anything in my previous relationships which is why I know it's not a jealousy thing on my part. Right now I have told him I don't want to speak to him until I have thought this through. I'm not sure if I can stay with a guy who is continuing to lie to me?
What should I do? We've spoke about it numerous times but it leads nowhere. If I end our relationship, what should I say to him?
Thanks!
you are not being fair to your boyfriend. First, you are allowing other people who are not in your relationship to tell you how he feels and what he thinks. You say that you know he was in love with his ex, but the past is the past and now you are making it impossible for him to forget her and move on. It's like she's the 3rd person in your relationship. Why are you allowing her so much power? You are letting her win. Maybe there was a time when he was a little heartbroken because she broke up with him-anyone gets hurt when they get dumped. You are putting him in a lose/lose situation. He obviously wants to move on and be with you, and he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. What is he supposed to do; conk himself over the head and hope he gets amnesia so he can forget the past?
Maybe there's more here than you are willing to admit. Could it be that you're really not sure about your feelings for him so you're trying to sabotage things or look for an excuse to get out?
i am a father of a 3 year old son .
my sonlives in london and imnot allowed any contact with him, unless it is at a contact centre for 2 hours only .
can you help me
Never underestimate your power as your son's father. Right now it may seem like you are being treated as if you have no rights, but I promise you that as long as you continue to do the right thing and love your son things will all work out.
You have legal rights and you don't need to wait until you get a lawyer to start enjoying them. Family courts are very understanding and the judges are no slouches-they can see right through all the crap. I don't know why your visits must be at a contact center, but if you would like to have more visits or unsupervised visits the first place for you to go is family court and file a motion. I do not know how the legal system of London works, but one thing I know, all legal systems want to promote healthy father/child relationships. Keep your chin up, keep plugging away, and things will work out fine. Remember rule # 1: nobody can ever take your child away from you, no matter how much distance they try to put between you.
Hi I just got my first period and I need to start using tampons because pads arent working well for me and I dont want period stains at school! So anyways I FINALLY figured out where to put a tampon in and I can get it in now but Ive tried twice but every time I put one in it feels weird and when I bend over it hurts. And when I stand up I can kinda feel it in there and it feel's like it's getting like slowly pushed out and it's the kind of feeling you get when your at the bottom of a deep pool and your blew out all your air and your just sitting there with no air if you know what Im talking about kind of a weird squeezing feeling? Am I putting it in far enough or am I even putting it in right or is something wrong with me!?
The first time I used a tampon I went for what my mother had under the bathroom sink. Huge mistake considering my mother used super, which was way too big for me, and I spent the whole day wondering how women could say they didn't feel it in there. A smaller size made all the difference.
Another common mistake is to insert the tampon as if your vagina is straight up and down when it is really slightly tilted towards your back.
Another thing about tampons-the absolute worst time to insert one is when your vagina is totally dry. When you are ready to change it, take the tampon out before you go to the bathroom so you can give your vagina a few moments to produce some moisture.
Over the past six years or so, I've lived as a recluse. I have virtually no human contact other than what is required. In an average day, I probably say about 100 words aloud. I had a small group of 3-6 "friends" in elementary school, but I very rarely did anything outside of school with them.
Unlike most people with this problem, mine is entirely self-inflicted. I was never bullied, and I've had no "bad relationships" of any kind. I simply do not enjoy multi-person activities (including conversation). Since I viewed friendship as useless in the past, I didn't pursue it, and I am now completely incapable of participating in any kind of social interaction due to lack of experience.
Recently, over the past 2-3 years, this state has increasingly been bothering me for the following reasons:
* Having no social network of any kind puts me at an enormous disadvantage in gathering and spreading information.
* I have not a single person I can really trust with anything.
* Not having any human contact makes me depressed/lonely from time to time. Even though I don't consciously *want* human contact, I clearly need it in order to fix this.
So I eventually want to have like five friends (preferably online) who I can trust. It's no good just to have five contacts sitting in my instant messaging program; I need actual friends with whom I have real understanding.
How do I do this? Keep in mind that I have less social understanding than the average 3-year-old, and I am completely useless in a conversation. I also don't particularly enjoy conversation.
Don't tell me to "go out and talk to people". That's what all the websites say, and it does me exactly no good because I don't know the first thing about having a conversation. In all cases that I've tried to randomly participate in a conversation (_many_ times, online and off), I say virtually nothing because everything moves too fast for me and I can't think of anything to say.
I've posted this stuff to one other site, and despite talking to several of the people there, nothing good came of it. I will therefore be reluctant to contact anyone offering to "be my friend" in their response.
(18/m)
First, stop thinking things through to the point that you're back where you started.
Second, realize that you can have hundreds of friends, many of them good friends, and still have no one in this world you can really trust.
Don't be so hard on yourself, maybe you are just the type of person who prefers his own company. You should really only be concerned if it is at the point where you cannot have the basic communication and cooperation with other human beings needed to get through a given situation.
I really wish I could have some great advice to give you, but the truth is, no one in this world can step into your head and feel what it is like to be you, so the only thing you're going to get is generic and hopeful.
your first mistake is thinking you can develope this over the internet. IMing people, chatting, and all that stuff is great, but it will not give you the socialization and skills you are looking for. You must do something besides sit in the house all day; even if it's only to get to the corner store. If I were you, I'd start there.
I am 15 years old and my sister seems to be having financial problems. As her brother I don't mind lending or giving her a little bit of money. My parents found a marijuana pipe and later meth pipe both used in her room. She seems to spend so much that she started stealing money from me and asking me to make counterfeits. Then like always she lies and makes up lame excuses. How should I deal with it, call the cops and file a theft charge try to "scare her straight"? She passed a drug test but it was at home her friends were over and it took her 2 hours.
OK, it sounds like your sister is doing drugs, but you don't want to blame all of her behavior on that, either. If she is stealing from you do not make excuses for her by blaming it on the drugs; that's letting her off way too easy. Let her know you don't trust her and it's too bad that you have to admit that your own sister's a sneaky thief, but it is what it is.
I am sorry to tell you this, but there's really nothing else you can do, and any attempt to try to make her see the light is just going to end up being hurtful to you. The best thing you can do for your sister is hold her accountable for her actions and don't let her take advantage of you. Also, you can send her a lot of good wishes that if she is doing drugs she will have the strength to stop.
So! As you all know i have written for your advice about the same guy. It was the age issue. Still not doing to great on that anyways but now for another problem.
At the beginning when we first started talking he told me that he wanted to be friends and NOTHING MORE! Hes never had a serious relationship with a girl, and i think he is just kind of scared, with the whole me being 17 and him being 21 thing..he knows i would do anything for him in the world. So we hung out, partied it up a little. SOBER! we kiss, and hug..he puts his arm around my waste, he lays his head on my shoulder. He "liked" me. you could tell. Well, I have been thinking about giving up because he told me he couldnt hang out. So i texted my friend and told him i was going to give up.he told me not to if i really wanted him..SO IM NOT GIVING UP! but my guy told my friend that we were just meant to be friends, and he took it to far on accident. like what does that mean? Obviously he likes me. What should i tell him? Because i like him more than he knows..People make fun of him so much, calling him a dumb redneck and stuff, and it makes me mad and i holler at people.What do i tell him, other than how i feel??? I LIKE HIM ALOT, AND I NEED HIM!!! AND I KNOW HE LIKES ME!
You have to look at this whole thing from his point of view; it's kind of like if you were to suddenly find yourself hopelessly attracted to a 13 year old. What would you tell your friends, not to mention your family? Wouldn't you do everything you could to deny that attraction? As far as your concerned, the two of you should get together, but you have to think about how delicate this situation must be for him.