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Not sure what to do
Hi Guys
To begin with, I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 months now. Everything is great except one thing. Before we got together, we knew eachother, we weren't like good friends but we had mutual friends. He had a girlfriend and he always used to talk about her and how he loved her. I didn't really see him until about 5 months later and he didn't have a girlfriend then. He flirted, and we got along great. He seemed perfect. We met again in April, and by May we were together. My mutual friends said before we met again in April, he was upset that his girlfriend had finished their relationship and that he wanted her back.
I wasn't sure what to think of this, I felt quite used. I confronted him about it and he denied it - he said they ended their relationship 3 months ago, our friends say differently. He says he loves me - and that he never loved her. I also know that's a lie because i'd heard him say it before. He's denied all of this, which annoys me so much because I know he's lying. I have given him every opportunity to admit he's lying and he hasn't.
I really, really like this guy which is why i'm so unsure what to do. In every other way he's perfect but he's so defensive about his ex. I've never been jealous or anything in my previous relationships which is why I know it's not a jealousy thing on my part. Right now I have told him I don't want to speak to him until I have thought this through. I'm not sure if I can stay with a guy who is continuing to lie to me?
What should I do? We've spoke about it numerous times but it leads nowhere. If I end our relationship, what should I say to him?
Thanks!
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you are not being fair to your boyfriend. First, you are allowing other people who are not in your relationship to tell you how he feels and what he thinks. You say that you know he was in love with his ex, but the past is the past and now you are making it impossible for him to forget her and move on. It's like she's the 3rd person in your relationship. Why are you allowing her so much power? You are letting her win. Maybe there was a time when he was a little heartbroken because she broke up with him-anyone gets hurt when they get dumped. You are putting him in a lose/lose situation. He obviously wants to move on and be with you, and he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. What is he supposed to do; conk himself over the head and hope he gets amnesia so he can forget the past?
Maybe there's more here than you are willing to admit. Could it be that you're really not sure about your feelings for him so you're trying to sabotage things or look for an excuse to get out?
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Well , this guy might have mixed feelings , if he keeps denying it and your sure he is then , you need to let him go , why stick around with someone who keeps denying everything to your face? There's so many other guys in this world , BUT if you really really like this guy I think you should seriously sit down and talk to him like without any hesitation once and for all. If a guy's lying to you all the time , don't even go for it. Once a guy lies once like that he will keep lying to you , exactly what he is doing to you right now. I think you did the right thing since you said to think it through. Maybe he is doing it because he just can't get over her at the moment , but at the same time he likes you a lot better. But , sooner or later the truth will come out. I think you should try a few times if this guy really matters to you then try making him give the truth out confront him good about it not suspiciously. If you wanted to end the relationship you can lead up to it in a nice way talk to him about how much you like him , but he's not playing his part that hes lying to you and it takes two to make a relationship work and make things less complicated.
Good luck! : ) you did the right choice
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