If I were you I would jump with excitement if I had a chance to go to Africa. It's going to be so interesting and you'll come back with a ton of stories to share. I went to China this summer and I absolutely loved it. It's an experience that I will never forget. I think you should go because there's a lot more in this world than America. It would be something to look forward to.

But if you absolutely dread the thought of going I would just explain your reasoning behind it to your parents. Opt to stay with a friend if that's possible. You could say that you don't want to be behind in school and that you want to make sure that you don't lose points. But in all honestly, they can make you go. And it's between you and your parents.

Good luck.

Relax, honey. You're weight is just fine. But it's important to control your hunger. And you're not the only one with that problem. A lot of people eat and then become hungry five minutes later. So it's definitely common.

You should stay consistent with your meals. Ideally, you should have three meals and one or two snacks per day. If you can maintain that for a week it will become a good habit for you. If you think about it, when we are used to eating a meal and then 10 minutes later we're hungry again, every time we grab another food our body becomes used to that.

Maybe you're not actually hungry. Recent studies have been saying that emotion is the key factor for hungry. Generally people tend to mix up hunger with boredom or sadness. And that's because Americans are starting to eat just because they are sad or bored. So maybe if you think to yourself "Am I really hungry?" before you have a snack you'll know if you actually are hungry or not.

As well as mixing up emotion and hunger people sometimes mix up thrist with hunger too. Try drinking a glass of water before a meal. It will fill you up a litte more so that you're not hungry afterwards.

I understand where you're coming from but you are the one who is throwing the party. As you directly stated, you are friends with both of them. Now, if the two of them like you they would be willing to accept that the other one will be at the party. Talk to the both and make it clear that the other one is coming so that there will be no unexpected surprises. You could try telling them that if there will be any fighting or bitching whatsoever it will not be tolerated. But I honestly don't think it will be that bad because they will have their own "groups" to hang out with. So I think that if each one has there friends with them they'll associated more with them than with the person they don't like. Just tell them to ignore your other friend if they have a problem with them rather than starting anything and hang out with there friends. Don't push them to make up with the other one if they're not willing to because that could turn out bad. Because you are friends with both make sure you give them each equal attention so that the other doesn't feel like you're spending so much time with the other friend instead of her. If they both can't agree to this they need to be more mature. But I'm sure they will since your their friend. Good luck and have a great time at the party!

Oh, and please don't invite one instead of the other because their feelings will be hurt. And that may create more drama than having the both of them there would.

-Shannon

Okay listen, you can give me the worst rating in the world or hate me for this but at least think over what I'm telling to you. If you have an eating disorder I am not going ot understand how you feel and it will seem like not a lot of people will.

I know it sounds preachy but I must overemphasize this because I want you to understand this. The reason why people are on your back is because they care about you and they are concerned for you. You already know you're making a really bad choice, why keep at it? Food is not suppose to make you feel guilty. And if it does there is a problem. Please listen to them. They love you and they don't want you to die froms omething this stupid. You're 15 years old and you shouldn't be living life like this. I know what a struggle it is to seem someone with an eating disorder. It progresses so badly, you look at them and what to cry. You wonder how they ever got to this point. Don't be anotehr statistic. Please. You're much better than that.

Anorexia and Bulimia are psychological eating disorders. Right now you are so afraid of getting fat or being overweight that you feel like you shouldn't eat. Pretty soon you'll have a body image disortion for the rest of your life. You'll never know how you really look. And I think going through life like that is pretty fucked up. You'll always think you're one way when you actually aren't. You always think about food even thought you'll deny it. You're skin will be yellow. You'll have a bunch of facial hair. Your hair will fall out. You'll always be cold. You won't be able to enjoy life because you'll have no energy. You may feel like you're in control but actually you're losing the control you have. And if it progresses further you may not have a child and you may be dead. So please stop it.

I'm not against you, just against your decision. However if this is how you want to live, I can't make you stop. You are in control of your own decisions. Your friends and family know that but pretty soon you better know that you'll end up killing them along with yourself. And that's not fair. It would be ashame to have them cry and worry about you because of your image or what you're doing to yourself. You'd be hurting your parents. Losing a child or a friend is the worst thing ever. Their lives are going to be negatively affected by your decision. You're being very selfish, I think. To put people through that is the worst thing you can possibly do. Please think about it. Seriously.


If you continue doing what your doing this may be the result.

http://www.qeliz.ac.uk/psychology/images/anorexia.jpg

http://www.strangesports.com/images/content/16679.JPG


http://assets.families.com/Encyclopedias/gea2_01_img0020.jpg

-Shannon

I'm really glad you asked me this because you seem a lot like me minus the boyfriend part. I am very sorry that this is so late. Finals are killing me. But anyways:

Overcoming shyness has been one of the hardest obstacles in my life. And I'm still reserved but I'm not like I was before. I never really learned, and I don't mean to get you hopes down. You could learn but how could you? It's not like there is a class on this. A lot of people think of shy people as being depressing, emotional, or just plain weird. They think "why does she never talk?" It's very hard to understand unless you are shy yourself.

Being self conscious is the problem that leads to being shy. Maybe that's not your case but if it is you need to work on that. And make sure you are happy with yourself.


What helped me the most is becoming interested in everyone. I wanted to listen to them, and understand them. Prior to the school year I'd analyse everyone in mind mind. I tell myself and other people how I never judge anyone and don't think highly of people who are so judgemental. I finally came to reality that I'm actually contradicting myself because I won't even allow myself to know the person. I formed my opinions on them yet never asked or got to know them. That was wrong. So I finally allowed myself to talk to them.

I always like to compliment people. And I'm sincere about it too. If I like their purse or their drawing, I'll tell them.

The key is imagining yourself as being the girl who everyone wants to talk to. The girl who talks to everyone without caring who they are or what group they are in. The girl that all the guys want to talk to. Sounds silly, but you need to keep repeating this in your mind over and over. Too many times we tend to think about the negative aspect such as "What if that coems out wrong." And they aren't. We just keep thinking it in our mind so we chose not to talk. It's the exact oppoisite. The more we think of ourselves as being a great talker, we'll believe it. And it will be more comfortable to talk.


Try asking one question from 5 out of 8 classes a day. The more you become comfortable talking among the class you'll be less afraid to have one on one conversations.

Practice talking in the mirror.


This is a really great site that I found. Maybe it can be of some help too : http://members.aol.com/cybernettr/shyness.html#anchor129298

Hang in there! It's not so simple to get over. I know the feeling, I've been shy ever since I entered highschool too. But I know I have it in me because I used to be social. Everyone can be social, it's just a matter of using it. Let me know how it goes!

Shannon

Well the first time you get fingered, it does hurt. It isn't supposed to feel good until you adapt to it. Everyone is different and just because your friends get orgasms doesn't mean that you will. Come on, seriously a lot of girls have trouble reaching an orgasm and it's typical. So yeah, you are normal and you don't need to worry about it. Think of it this way: it's like having sex the first time, it will hurt but gradually it gets better and feels good. So just give it time but maybe consider the fact that you just might not get enjoyment out of it. Some girls don't and again it's no big deal. People get pleasured in different ways; it all varies.

-Shannon

I can't direct you towards the right track - you have to do that yourself. But I do understand where you're coming from. Don't take what I'm about to say offensive.


You loved him a lot obviously but it's over. You cannot change what has happened in the past you need to move on and be more independent. If people know that they can bring you down, they will. They will step all over you. You've got to prove to yourself and to everyone else that through all the rough times you can still hold your own. If you have a role model or look up to someone I bet that person is strong and when they fall they can pick theirself up again. In life if you go through a stuggle and can't seem to get yourself over it you will fail. You are going to meet a ton of guys in your lifetime. While it's true that can't replace him it's best to find someone who will share that same love that you have for them with you. If you hold on to what you had you will be a wreck. Don't do that to yourself.


You aren't fat, and I bet you're gorgeous. You did have confidence, why did you lose it? Because you broke up with him? No, you can't let that lower your confidence. If it were meant to be it would of happened. He isn't doing this to you, you are doing it to yourself. If you try to tell yourself that you can overcome this I bet you will. I'm not going to lie --- it will take a while. Maybe ever months or a year. But think about the postive rather than the negative. Be thankfulf or what you have. Make a list of what you have. Such as your family is alive and healthy or that you have all your body parts. Something like that. Because there are people out there who have it worse and if they can manage I'm sure you can too! =D

In highschool most guys are immature. While it's not directly true that all girls have more maturity at a younger state than guys, most do. So yes he will be immature sometimes. Like Johanna said you need to expect that out of him sometimes but not all of the time.


Girls will show emotion a lot more than guys do. So you might have hurt his feelings and he may not show it in a way that you would. So consider that you have because even though you were very straight forward maybe comparing him to your little brother and telling him to grow up probably did hurt his feelings. Although he may realize that in a way you were right.


I'm not saying to apologize to him, that's your call. But to keep things from getting uneasy you may want to do that. If you do, try saying what the girl suggested because I think that is a really great way to say it. This way you're letting him know you're sorry for hurting his feelings but suggesting that he act his age at the same time.

*EDIT*

I'm so sorry! I forgot to read the advice part so I guess I kind of took it like a survey.

Anyways, some things I can tell you are that the airplanesget boring if you're on them for a long period of time.

So it's great to bring along magazines, books, ipod, laptops, cd players. These will keep you entertained. DVD players are especially good because you can watch your own movies without interfering with others. Usually they provide movies but you may not like that movie. And movies take up a good two hours.

But if you can, I would try to go to sleep. (This is if you have a long time on the plane) If you sleep the time goes by so much quicker. So if you're lucky enough to sleep on planes ( I can't) you should.

Get a window seat if you can. But keep in mind this is if you're not afraid of heights. The scenery is so amazing and probably different from anything you've ever seen.

Bring your own food and drinks if you don't want what they serve you. Sometimes they're not as good as you think. LOL

If you are going on an airplane with your friends and family you can always talk to them to keep entertained.

If you're going on an airplane by yourself it's always easier to follow the crowd once they get off of the plane. They know where they are going. And where the luggage pick - up is and from there you'll know what to do.

Before you get on the airplane is the hard part. Going through security and baggage drop off is a bitch. But always bring a photo I.D. of yourself and obviously don't wear much jewlery or carry weapons.

Again, I am really sorry. Hopefully this gives you advice. Just so that you know what to expect. Take care and have a safe flight!




I've been one an airplane about 6 times.


I think that my first time on one was scary because I was only 6 at the time. But once I got on it I found it to be enjoyable. I sat next to a magician and he was entertaining.

But right now I love to go on airplanes because they're less time consuming and they go pretty smoothly. I'd chose it over riding in a car.

Advantages:
* less time consuming
* love looking at the clouds and place from far
away
* the ride is pretty comfortable

Disadvantages:
* my ears always kill me once we land because
of the different elevations
* a lot more people to deal with such as little
kids screaming or crying.
* the waiting time sucks because they usually
leave and arrive 15 minutes after they say so

I'm considering that you're just starting out using them, or wanting to.

I love them, here's why:
* They're less messy and more sanitary
* Once you get used to them, you can't tell
that it's there.
* You'll be able to be more active. Examples:
Swimming, Running, Basketball, Cheerleading.
* You won't have to worry about leaks
* You can keep them in for about 8-9 hours.
* Vacation won't suck as much.

And there really isn't a certain time to start using them. It varies differently among all girls. I started using them when I was 13. It's really up to you. Whenever you want to try it out is up to you. I'd recommend tampons over pads. Definitely.

-Shannon

You can't make someone less shy. And this is coming to you from a shy person. That's like saying you want to change his personality. If he's shy than that is a quality that makes up his personality. It's a negative quality at times, but to get the point across : you can't change that. He has to.

Because you two are in a new relationship it will be awkward. And who knows when it will end. Try taking it day by day instead. It's only been a day. You have to give each other a chance to build up to becaoming comfortable. Just like in all relationships you work your way up to becoming closer to a person. You wouldn't tell a person you meet for 2 weeks your life story, would you? Probably not. Just take things slowly because it seems like he may need to work on getting used to you and his comfort level may be off right now. If he sees that you're patient and respecting him he'll probably be comfortable with you. Because you're giving him time rather than rushing things.

I know you just want to be able to talk with him comfortably but that can be a big step for him without you even knowing it. Make small talk with him and have him get to know you. Talk about going to some of the places you like and some of the places he likes. If you're into a certain sport talk about it because that typically gets the guys interested.

Think of it like meeting a new friend: Get to know him, talk about things, go places. And once you two start hanging out a lot I'm sure he'll feel more comfortable.

The main thing is consistency and time. If you keeps those two things in mind things should start to get better.

Good luck, and congrats!

-Shannon

Life is about taking chances. That's what it all comes down to. You're never going to know what the ending result will be. And rejection is one of the most fears that everyone is afraid to face.

I'm not saying to not ask him out. It would be actually wise to try it anyway. You will never know and you'll always wonder if you don't.

You have a decison to make. You could ask him out and see if you guys can have a deeper connection than just being friends. There always is a possiblity of ruining the friendship. Right now you're playing it safe.

If you're going to ask him out there really is no RIGHT way to do. I'd start out by hanging out with him a lot more. And hinting that you like him. Eventually work yourself up to telling him. But guys seem to like it better if you straight-out ask them. They don't want it to be a long, long conversation where it takes you forever to get to the point. Short and sweet! That's the key.

Have confidence. Seriously. I can tell he's intimidating you already because you asume that he's out of your league. But that's not true. You have just as much chance as anyone else. And you deserve to have him.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you! If he says "no" then stick to friendship. But you gotta take risks and live life. Just think of how great it would be for you step up, ask him out, and go out with him!

-Shannon

I wouldn't say that you are being too overprotective. Just concerned. It would concern me if he had feelings for this girl and wanted to be with her over me prior to going out with him.

But it's been seven months now and the fact is that he is with YOU now. Not her. As a girlfriend, you need to be able to trust his judgement. Because he may add this girl as a friend does not mean he will drop you anytime soon. He wants your trust and to be able to add whoever he wants as a friend. To him you may come across as being pushy and dominating his decisions. Then he will get mad and that might cause him to wonder. I know you're just concerned but he may not get that. Tell him that you're just concerned.


But I say let him know that you're going to trust him by allowing him to add her to his friends list. By doing this, I'm sure he'll be impressed because you're being really laid back about the whole situation.


This happens all of the time, and you are definitely not the only one who is going through this. When you have feelings for a guy it's hard to let go sometimes. You wonder if he's thinking about other girls. It's scary but that's life. You can't know what people are thinking, you just have to be able to have trust yet set boundaries to follow.

-Shannon

Hey!

You're actually the first question I'm about to answer.

Well, it sounds to me that your friend is unaware of how hurt and confused you are about the whole relationship. She doesn't comprehend what you're trying to tell her because she doesn't know what she's doing. Think about it. If she's trying to make you look stupid in front of her boyfriend it's probably a level of comfort to her. By bring you down or making a silly remark about you she's getting the attention and acceptance from Ryan. I know that this is completely unfair to you. You've done nothing wrong at all. So don't even think that you deserve the negative attention from her.

Sometimes when girls have boyfriends they tend to brag. I know a lot of my friends do, maybe sometimes me too. It's just that you're so happy that you want everyone to know. If it's annoying you really need to tell her. Nicely, of course. It's like telling a friend about a party you went to. Ifyou had fun, chances are you want to share it with people. In this case I'd say "I'm glad you had fun but it's a little weird you're telling me this". Or simply just say "Great" without the enthusiasm. Just remember say it as if you're bored with that subject. Don't bitch at her about it because that will just start a fight.

I can't tell you that you won't lose her because I really don't know what's going to happen. However, you need to trust and take her word for it. You're going to need to let her know that you still want to keep a balance between you two. This means that she will have time for you instead of spending all of it with her boyfriend. Continue to hang out with her but give her space too.

She's happy so you should be happy for her. And I know you are, but there's sometimes when you probably do get annoyed. Don't get frustrated with her, just be supportive. Let her share her stories if they don't seem to be considered bragging. Give her some time to think about how she's going to find time for you and her boyfriend. It's good you told her how you're affected by it. Now she just needs to think about that and take it into consideration.

There's not too much you can do because this is really in her love life. Just give her space, stay supportive, and keep yourself happy most of all. I hope everything works out! Please let me know if you have any questions or anything. Hang in there!

-Shannon

I'm back! 6 years on this site and counting! Let yourself be known for something. It may not be perfect but imperfections are so much more interesting and fun!

I'm well known from my high interest in people. I thrive off helping others.

A lot of people say they have been through a lot. And well, this is true for almost everyone, including me. Rather than let past harm me I embrace what I've dealt with and use it to my advantage in the future.

I'm 20. Turning 21 soon enough. Been there, done that but cetainly have much more to learn. No, I do not know everything and I wouldn't claim. I do know that I am dedicated, educated, generous, motivated, and ambitious. I give all my time and heart into each answer.

I specialize in art, education, communication, psychology, massage therapy, health, travel and destinations.

I know information regarding school, college, abuse, neglect, personalities, relationships, friendships, little bit of info on cars, licit and illicit behaviors and or subjects. But I will be willing to answer anything!

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