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Heyy guys. Let me know if I can help you out with anything. I might not always tell you what you wanna hear - but just trust me eh?

advice

I need the lyrics for The Offspring, I want you bad, for this thing at school. I was wondering if you knew them or knew where i could find them? Thanks x

The Offspring: I want you Bad...

If you could only read my mind
You would know that things between us
Ain’t right
I know your arms are open wide
But you’re a little on the straight side
I can’t lie

Your one vice
Is you’re too nice
Come around now can’t you see

I want you
All tattooed
I want you bad

Complete me
Mistreat me
Want you to be bad

If you could only read my mind
You would know that I’ve been waiting
So long
For someone almost like you
But with attitude, I’m waiting so come on

Get out of clothes time
Grow out those highlights
Come around now can’t you see

I want you
In a vinyl suit
I want you bad

Complicated
X-rated
I want you bad

Don’t get me wrong
I know you’re only being good
But that’s what’s wrong
I guess I just misunderstood

I want you
All tattooed
I want you bad

Complicated
X- rated
I want you bad

I mean it
I need it
I want you bad

You can get lyrics by typing in the song and artist in a search engine with the word lyrics. Best of luck xxxx

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I have just got over hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia which is the phobia of the number 666, but now i have just been diagnosed with Ouranophobia which is the fear of heaven. Do you think this is linked? I dont like talking to my phychiatrist. They know to much and that scares me too. Please, i need a normal opinion instead of a long dialog full of words i dont understand. (I dont like asking what words mean)

Hey, I think it is linked. It seems to me that you are a slightly paranoid person, but the link between your phobias is quite strong. My guess, is that now you can say the number 666 you feel dirty and somehow evil, something must have subconciously gone off in your mind that makes you scared of the consept of heaven and like hell more. I think that if you began to be scared of saying 666 again the fear of heaven would go away, but that doesnt help. In answer to your question i say yes, i think that they are linked. But i cant help you with anything else. Thats what your psychiatrist is for. They are only there to help you know, and you could ask for him/her to explain thing s more slowly. Best of luck xxxx

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My girlfriend shuts off all communication when I confront her with important issues regarding our relationship, like not as much spontaneous openness & sex now as in the beginning ?

She might be scared of commitment...Talk to her. Dont get angry when she tries to change the subject. Let her know that its upsetting you and when shes ready to talk about it can she let you know. Tell her that what ever it is your here for her. Take each thing as it comes and try not compare to other aspects of your relationship. Best of luck xxxx

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im 14 female and theres this guy i have a crush on ive never said any thing to him thought i want to talk to him but he is really shy and he dosnt really talk to any one he dosnt know what should i do? i dont want to make it obvious either

You know, its actually easier this way. If he doesnt really talk to people, then you can do basic stuff to begin with (if hes in your class ask to borrow something, or ask the answer to something, or generally ask how he is and what he did at the weekend. After a while you can ask him what hes doing next weekend, if hes not doing anything ask him to do something with you. You'll just seem reallly friendly. And cuz u talk to him and no one else does he will think your nice and after a while he will totally adore you. Trust me quiet people are easy. Careful though, he might be isolating himself, so just because he says no about something doesnt mean hes not interested. Invite him out eith some of your friends if you think it will be awkward. Be there for him, when no one else is. He'll like you. Best of luck xxxx

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what should I get my boyfriend for valentines day? i'll rate 5's for any answer!

Deodrant is always good. A typical guy usually likes lynx but if you know a pacific brand then go for it. Underwears alright - depends how much you know him. I would suggest a CD or DVD. You know his favourite movie? Or one he's been dying to see or get but hasnt had the time? The latest album by one of his favourite bands is what i would suggest mainly. You cant go wrong. Unless he has it already. I would check first. You can always mix a CD for him with lots of different music he likes - then he wont have it already. Hope one of these suggestions help. Best of luck xxxx

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Theres this guy, ive been seeing for 2 years. We tell eachother everything and i trust him. I think im a bit young for love but it feels like i love him. Im 14. It feels natural to sleep with him. We havent done anything but kiss and i feel slightly pathetic at that but im recieving no pressure from anyone. Should i sleep with him? Ive read your advice column and you seem pretty honest

thanks

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I don’t know what to do anymore, my life seems to be dying slowly even though I am alive. I don’t want to live anymore; I have imagines everyday of me jumping out my window. My life just seems all messed up. It may seem like nothing to you but all my problems put together are just killing me little by little. No one understands. Today I came from school all upset I couldn’t take it and told my grandmother I don’t want to live anymore. She got mad, called my mom and dad and was yelling at me telling me how lazy I am. She kept saying I’m just a lazy person that wont get anywhere in life without studying. She kept yelling and talking and now her and my mom got into a fight over this. My grandma tried to make this all seem like she’s the victim and I’m taking advantage of her. She kept saying with a grandchild like me the one who cries for every little reason she should just take an overdoes and die. Why on earth would she say all these things when she knows how I feel about life! I go to her are you crazy you bitch, don’t you understand why I want to kill myself you are one of the main reasons. I don’t have a main reason its juts that I’m very unlucky, I have really low self cofidecne, some people tend to make fun of my face, since I have acne and put a lot of cover up on. Which hurts the most because I had acne for about five years and I tried everything, I went everywhere, took her pill possible, and nothing works. It’s like a long rode that never ends no matter how hard you try. You keep running and running until you think you got to the end but it just keeps on going. That’s how my life feels. Now we got new teachers and new students in our classrooms. I hate most of my classes, and most of all I hate my math teacher. Now I’m really bad at math I mean really bad I don’t even know what 7 times 8 is unless I think about it for half an hour. Yeah sad I know. Hes really mean and trys to bring people who are not as smart as him down. I tired getting out of his class but my counselor is such a bitch! She told me to come early to school today so she could change my singing class since they put me in the wrong one. They put me back to the one I already took, so I would be learning everything all over and I passed her class with a 90. I come back at the end of the horrible day I had and she tells me the teacher said its okie and I can stay in that class. I was like butt … she stooped me and said theres nothing I can do. I was like but wait im learning everything over again I don’t understand. She goes yeah I know but then we would have to change your whole program I was like sooo you do it for everybody else. I know shes just a fucken lazy bitch that needs to get fired, Counselor my ass. I don’t know what to do! I hate schhol and wanna quite im only 16 but I don’t see school in my future. My grandma makes me feel like shit about this but I don’t know what to do!!! Please help and don’t say talk to her because that wont work ill just end up killing myself faster. I don’t know what to do with my life. Please answer if you ever felt like this about school and juts ur whole life and tell me what you

I tried to kill myself. Twice. I tried hanging myself and slitting my wrists. Obviously both didnt work. Kinda made me think though. Maybe I have a purpose here. I mean think about it, isnt there anything you want to do? Like from when your little? I always wanted to by an adolescent phychologist. But anyways, you dont have long left at school. (that actually depends where you live... but where i live it would be your last year)you will hate yourself even more if you screw up your life because of depression. I had it, i still have it. everyone clasifies me as a goth cus im always angry and depressed (the consistant wearing of black, excessive amounts of eyeliner and black hair doesnt help - LOL) basically though, your grandmother is worried about you. you probably really scared her and shes trying to guilt you into not doing it. If you need someone to talk to, im here for you. I think i understand, i cant say completely but ive been through a lot. No one will understand unless you let someone in. I l;earned that the hard way. Best of luck. XXXX

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All right, I'm a relatively healthy (physically and mentally, I hope) young woman. I've never been intimate with a man. However, I've realized more and more that violence turns me on. For instance, when I see rape on TV or in a movie, I feel myself becoming aroused. When I fantasize, I always have these dark fantasies where a man is hurting me and forcing himself on me. It's not like I don't appreciate or crave romance - I do! Why am I having these thoughts though? I don't want to be hurt or violated or anything, but it just turns me on. Is it all right? Would a man be freaked out if I shared this with him? Would he take advantage of me? I've always thought I was a "good girl".

Dominatrix. Thats what it sounds like to me. Its not weird at all. Could be a phase. Dont read to much into it. And if you ever feel like experimenting, make sure a guy knows when your really saying stop and when your doinmg it for fun (role-play etc) Be extreemly careful. Best of luck xxxx

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i'll make this short and simple.

16f never been kissed (i know pathetic loser)
likes boy
wants to make first move
but scared of being rejected
what if i mess up? what if he moves his head away? i have braces will it be harder to kiss? should i eat chocolate before hand so i taste good?

please help a sista out. i'll give you 5's.

I dont know how this will sound, but if he doesnt like you, or the timings all wrong or whatever HE WILL STILL KISS YOU! If you like him and it gets to the point of kissing him then obviously he will like you too so go for it. You will regret it forever if you dont. Besides, if hes special enough for your 1st kiss, then you dont want him to slip away. Guys like confident girls, so making the 1st move. OR you can flirt your best, lots of touching and laughing, lean in close and you initiated it but he made the 1st move. Then you can follow his kissing rythmn and you wont mess up. NOT THAT YOU WILL IF YOU KISS HIM 1ST!. best of luck xxxx

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Im 16/f..okay well i just started going to a new school its been two weeks now and there is this boy names L and hes really cute and in class we kind of get to do what we want.so i set at this tabel with my friends and im friends with his friends.so today he sat across from me and we just kept meeting eyes and smiling.and he always comes up to me after school and ask what im doing or if im busy..does that mean he wants to chill? but the thing is that in class hell talk to everyone but only look at me..so i was talking to my friend about this party on Friday and she said i should ask him to go but i dont really know how to ask or what to say..hes really cute and when we talk all i can do is smile.he makes me laugh and is very sweet..what do i do?i need help big time.i want to start talking to him as more than friends but its a small school and i dont want all the other boys to know about us and what we do..is it a good thing to want to try and be something? please tell me what i should do!! thank you. BabyGurl

Start small. Say hi, ask what he has done over the weekend, ask what hes doing next weekend... ask if he wants to come to a party your going to , GET MY DRIFT? If your friends are his friends then suggest all of you do stuff together so you can hang out with him without lots of pressure. Also you can ask them what kinda things he likes so you know what to talk to him about. Best of luck xxxx

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ok well sometimes like when i workout or just wearing jeans somewhere i dont wear underwear. i just heard the other day though about crabs? is it likely i will get them or already have them if i dont wear underwear sometimes? can someone please give me some info on this..thanks.

YOU CANT GET CRABS BY USING A TOILET SEAT. im sorry but you cant. (and you cant get them by not wearing underwear either so dont worry

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I'm an advicenator on here, but I really need help for this.
[TiNA_DUH]

K, I weigh 145 lbs & I'm 5'3" and I think I'm fat. Now, everyone tells me I'm not [especially guys] but, I feel like I am. I checked my BMI and it's 26 which is overweight. :( That made me feel really bad about myself. In November, I weigh 137. I gained 8 lbs in a little over 2 months. I really wanna lose weight, to weigh 105, so I'll be healthy again, but everytime I try to go on a diet or change my eating & exercise, I never do. I lack enthusiasm. It's either that, or I just never have time. I'm a freshman in highschool, and I'm piled with homework, so it takes me a while & sometimes I babysit, and then I have to do stuff around the house, and by time I'm done with all that & my shower - I don't have time! How do I manage my time so I can exercise and lose this weight. I hate being fat!

Please help me. My confidence is really going down because of it. I know I'm pretty - but I wish I had the body to go along with it.

&TiNA;

I relate. I totally do. Ok well, if you dont have much time for exercise, why not change your diet. Try and just eat healthily. Besides, try and stop relating exercise with time. Its not always true. Wake up early and go for a jog, get a fitness dvd, you can do it with a friend and have a good time. Also, weekends, go swimming! Either that or dance about when your getting ready for highschool or do a certain amount of press-ups and sit-ups before you go to bed - THEY ONLY TAKE A FEW MINUTES! And you will see results. As for your diet, well... drink lots of water! seriously, it helps your motabulism (i cant spell sorry!) and eat brown bread and rice instead of white. Snack of fruit not crisps. Come on im sure you know how to be healthy! I belive you can do it. Dont think of your self as being fat. Im sure your not! (I dont know im not to good with lbs i measure in stone) besides, im sure you have lots of other qualities! Let me know how it comes along. Best of luck xxxx

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My mind always fills dirty things about guys. I always fantasize about their penises like how big they have, shaved or un-shaved, fat or thin. Its about all men, young and old, known or unknown. Imagine when I talk to a man, my mind goes fantasizing about his penis, Is this sickness?
I am 15/F.

Perfectly normal. We all do it... its just a part of growing up. It might not pass exactly... but it will definatly fade out. Happens to everyone. xxxx

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okay, im 13/f and i really want to start using a tampon. I relaly hate pads. I tried last night i just couldnt do it. Is it going to hurt? how do i do it? im just so confused, if anyone could help me, please answer

Hey. Tampons usually have instructions and if you play about with them it will make it alot easier. It may hurt a little, its different for everyone. You place it where it goes and pull the cardboard off and it sort of inserts itself... you will see when you look at them. Buy some and try doing everything i said to it in the air before you, so you can see how it works. (Throw this one away, dont try and insert it...) hope ive helped slightly. Best of luck xxxx

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whats the difference between smoking pot vs. smoking a normal cigarette? like, whats the difference between the two? thanks!!

Pot is a drug. Class C. Its effects your mind instead of your physical body. Pot is like a cigarette but with green (the drug) instead of tobacco. Its illegal to smoke or take drugs of any class at any age. However, normal cigarettes are not illegal unless you are under 16. xxxx

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ever since i started walking to school there have been these 2 girls who always say hi to me and i never really thought anything about it until one of them asked me out and at first i wanted to go out with her but then somthing inside me told me she's bad news and i dont know if it's because im neverous i dont know if it's because ive seen her smoke a few times i dont know what it is but could someone please help me i dont know what to do.

Hey. I take it you like this girl. Why dont you get to know her? She obviously likes you. If she asks you again, suggest you meet up first. Tell her she can choose where and when. You will find out alot about her personality by what she picks. Just because she smokes doesnt mean shes bad news, but if she does something that you feel is really wrong and makes you feel uncomfortable then maybe your right. If she pressures you into anything stand strong. If you dont know her all that well, suggest you both take a friend. If all goes well say yes. If it doesnt work out you can always break up with her. Best of luck xxxx

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My friend has this boyfriend, hes is our year at school. The only problem is, i saw him kissing this girl, who turned out not to be my friend. They have been going out for a few weeks and my friend knows i dont like him. Its not that i disaprove of him, i just didnt trust him. I guess now i know why. Should I tell my friend?

YES! To be a good friend, you should tell eachother the truth - even if its not really what you want to hear. First, talk to him. Dont seem threatening, say that you think you got off to a bad start and you think you misjudged him... be nice. Casually ask where he was (when you saw him with someone else) make it out like you and your friend arent that close so he might tell you... what ever way you do it, you need to find out if the information you have is true. Then, tell your friend. Nicely of course. Let her know that your there for her and will stand by whatever choice she makes. MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU NOT LIKING HER BF. best of luck, hope ive helped. xxxx

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I'm a 14 yr. old female and there's a guy in my computer class and we started chatting with each other the other day so I geuss you could say we became friends he's really nice, and I developed a crush on him so I was asking his friend/x-girlfriend some questions about him. but then during another class he stole the note from her and well anyways he thought i was going to ask him out so he started avoiding me then later that day he kinda got over but i told my computer teacher we were chatting the day before and we werent suposed to be and she got infront of the whole class today and basically told everyone that I snitched on myself and him but i didnt mean to and he got mad at me so should i just leave him alone or should I try to get closer and say sorry?even though i already have wrote him a note saying im sorry.

You have nothing to apologise for. You were perfectly within your right. I mean, yes you may of got him into a little bit of trouble, and a simple apology should fix things. If you feel obliged to grovel then he isnt worth it. Charm him over with your uniqueness. Dont play hard to get, but dont be a complete loser either. Try and be you. If he says hes interested, go for it. If he doesnt, be a great friend until the time comes or you get the feeling he likes you. Stand out from everyone else... in a good way. If he doesnt like the real you in that way, dw about it. Someone will. And that someone will be worth the wait. One mnore thing, why dont you try and talk to his ex, find out why they split, what stuff he likes. Best of luck xxxx

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THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCE FOR ANSWERING THIS AND I AM SORRY IF IT IS LONG BUT I REALLY NEED HELP WITH THIS.

So i have a really good friend and he has been talking about suicide all this week and he is really starting to scare me. I talk to him about how much i care about him etc. but still he said i dont think ill kill myself just now. but later i dont know. IM SO WORRIED ABOUT MY FRIEND! and try to have some other answer besides tell someone because i know that and i am considering it. So please any other good ideas.. ILL RATE 5'S FOR ALL SERIOUS ANSWERS

Ok i know lots of people have already given you an answer. I trust you have probably done the right thing by now aswell. I just want to make sure you knwo something. Your friend doesnt need you to worry about him. He doesnt need anyone (especially his friend) to think hes crazy or in need of mental help. He needs a friend. Obviously he feels his life is lacking meaning and purpose. Help him discover it. Help him be his ideal self. Talk to him, act around him the way you would normally. Listen to him, you never know he might just want attention (and dnt beat him up about that - everyone does at some point). Be there for him, thats all youc an really do. If you tell someone, get his consent, you dont want him thinking you betrayed him somehow. If this doesnt seem possible, make sure he knows you had good intentions. Dont take all of this advice to seriously. You know your friend, no one else does. Take the advice but dont betray your instincts. Good luck xxxx

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