I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female Location: Texas Age: 34 Member Since: December 17, 2006 Answers: 795 Last Update: September 2, 2007 Visitors: 49972
Main Categories: Health General Sex Questions Parenting View All
Favorite Columnists Xenolan
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Ok so I was at the mall with my family because my mom had this idea that we should have a family day. Anyway on while we're there I saw some girls from my school that I know hate me and would just ignore me otherwise i'd have said hi. But i tried to hide and no they didn't see me but my parents say I'm not allowed myspace if any drama happens and I wanna know if that counts did I blow it?
thanks in advance (link)
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Why would it be drama to ignore people who you knew would snub you. I guess whether or not your blew it depends on what your parents' perception of the situation was. If they didn't notice or care, then it's not a big deal. If they did, you can explain that those girls are not nice to you, so you were hiding out to avoid drama, not to start it. Good luck.
Sabine
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(15/f)
I've always been in the healthy range for weight, not crazy skinny but not large. A year or two ago, I was put on medication, since then I have gained weight like mad. I haven't changed my exercise routine or diet really ( I eat healthy food (except a random chocolate bar ever so often XD) and I exercise on a regular basis)but I've gained 20 or 30 pounds in that time. So, the thing is I'm getting off said medication soon and I really want to lose those extra pounds, I'm rather self conscious about them. It doesn't have to be a fast transformation, as long as the weight stays off and it's not going to make me get sick or something. Any advice on how to lose the weight, meal ideas, specific exercises, yada yada yada... All help is greatly appreciated :D Thanks in advance.
P.S. I'm about 5 feet 11" or so... and about 165 or 170 pound or so. (link)
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Wait, you're 15 years old and 5'11"? Whoa! At your age and height, 165 lb is quite normal. (Take a look at this link http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/welcome/bmi_results.html?years=15&months=0&gender=2&feet=5&inches=11&inches_percent=0£s_100=NaN£s_10=NaN£s=NaN£s_percent=NaN&start=1£s_100=100£s_10=60£s=5£s_percent=0&page=6). Is it possible that you gained that weight not because of the drug but because of your body developing?
I think the best plan for you is to continue to eat healthy and play a sport or do an activity that you really like. You shouldn't ever strive to be 100 lb, like some little petite thing.
Good luck.
Sabine
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Ok well this year was perfect til thsi new student showed up and he hates my guts! Everytime he sees me he would whisper I'LL KILL YOU just for me to hear only and makes his hand into a imaginary gun and "shoots me"..
He keeps saying YOU BULLIED ME IN KINDERGARDEN! (I'm a girl) and I'm guessing that's the big reason he hates me?
Frankly i don't care very much cuz this guy is the weirdest one in my class and everyone thinks he's crazy or mental since he says the weirdest random things out of no where liek if noones talking.
I had an accident about 3 years ago so i wouldn't remember if i bullied him or not and so I'm not aploligizing to him even though maybe it'll stop it. But if I did it was a long time go, KINDERGARDEN! He should suck it up and forget about it! Even I got grudges and some have to do with a person in my class but everytime I see her I don't go YOU HURT MY FEELINGS or give her this hating sign with my hands!
I don't like him very much by the way he's acting to me. I just pretend I never remembered him at all when he mention's it and act normal.
He's so stupid! Like he's trying to make everyone hate me because one time he told that to the WHOLE class! "Oh she bullied me in kindergarden" "WHAT?! Man, but she's the nicest girl in class!" And he tells the whole story to the class while IM RIGHT THERE! i don't tell people my issues with this girl and she's in the classroom!
But i feel so sad that someone hates me SO MUCH for something a long time ago..I'm a nice girl..high grades..everyone likes me and bullies bully people in my class for fun but thye don't tease me or whack me and I'm the weakest girl in the class. I even tried to talk to him a few times nicely and randomly offered him things like this snack i didn't like but maybe he did.
But I can literally feel the hate coming out of him which is like hurting me. Like come on..if it was kindergarden and I did bully him, I'm pretty sure it wouldnt' be bad since it's kindergarden and I've been so skinney my whole life! You shouldn't be going crazy for one thing.
As far as I remember, it was grade one. One day we had activities center and there can be up to only 3 people in a station and after a certain time, we rotate or go to different stations. I was the third person to go into a group til he came in and I said "you know there can onyl be three people in a group?" he made this rude face and said "SO?!" and kept playing. So I just went to the teacher to just tell her nicely about it but I guess he thought i was going to her so she could yell at me so he started crying and they phoned hsi parents cuz he wouldn't shut up about it.
Man..what a baby.
But I feel so bad that someone hates me so much like he's making a big deal about it so I hate him too but I don't go aorund doign what he does and tell it to other people. Like if it's something going on with the both of us, he should be talking to me.
What should I do?
I know you would say get alone with him and tlak but remember that i said that he's mental, crazy and different? I can't even explain what he's do but yeah..=S (link)
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I agree - report it! It's absolutely not healthy to nurse a grudge from kindergarten for so long, no matter how he remembers it. On top of that, it's not okay for any one to tell anyone else he's going to kill her. You need to do something about this!
Sabine
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Okay every time i go onto a site about female anatomy.
The pictures never look any different or like mine.
My "hood" clit is not hidden. My clit is rather huge. And my "lips" are not small either, they hang out.
I just feel weird.
I dont see any other diagrams
http://www.scarleteen.com/body/female_anatomy_2.html
I know every person is different but why is the diagram the same?
I know that my friend has felt self conscious about it. (link)
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The diagrams are usually the same because no one commissions another medical sketch artist to do another sketch. Those sketches are widely published and distributed just because they are the "standard" diagram of their kind. There's not much call for anatomical sketch artists, so some images keep getting used over and over again.
Sabine
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how can i get rid of it? without buying any products please? like is there a way to get rid of it at home (link)
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I don't mean to insult the first advicenator who replied, but I feel a need to clarify and expand upon the information in the link s/he gave.
That article on "Seven ways to get rid of cold sores" had no practical suggestions on getting rid of cold sores. It contained pain-relief methods, such as don't eat acidic or salty foods, use anesthetic, take pain killers, and keep the sore moist. It contained general knowledge tips, such as the fact that cold sores are very contageous and you should use sunscreen. But you shouldn't put any petroleum jelly (vaseline) on those blisters, contrary to the article's assertions. Petroleum jelly is a breeding ground for germs and rubbing it on your lips can spread the virus blisters from one area to another. To keep the affected area moist, you should drink lots of water and use a gylcerine or soft wax (beeswax) based product and you should dab it on with a qtip or something, making sure that the qtip never touches the tube or applicator. If you have some Blistex or Carmex around your house, that would be good.
Another thing the article does not mention is that you should throw away any lipsticks or glosses you have used while you have had the cold sore. Otherwise you run the risk of reinfecting yourself. These sores are caused by the herpes virus, which lives in nerves on your face (specifically the trigeminal nerve). It can lie dormant for years, but it reactivates itself at times when your immune system is down, such as when you are ill, tired, or stressed. Keep your immune system up with exercise, good food, and daily sunshine to keep the virus from becoming active.
Don't pick at the sore and it will heal on its own within about 7-10 days. You usually don't need to see a doctor unless there are lots of sores and they are keeping you from eating, they cause nerve pain, or they spread to another area, such as your eyeball (happened to me).
I'm sorry there's no home remedy to make these go away. There are prescription pills and creams that can help shorten the span. There are over-the-counter remedies, such as Abbreva, which claim to (I haven't tried them). But mainly, cold sores are an annoyance, but not a real health issue. Sorry.
Sabine
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I am 17 and my boyfriend is 20. He has had sexual reltionships before but when me and him have sexual intercourse his errection doesnt last long. He says that he doesnt know why it happens and that it hasnt happend before. Even when i use my hand to pleasure him, he holds an errection until he ejaculates. He insists that its not my fault but i cant help but think that it is. im worried that we wont be able to have sex properly.what can i do?
Yours...Confused.x. (link)
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Has he tried masturbating to orgasm before he becomes intimate with you? It will take a bit for him to get hard again, but then it will take longer for him to come to orgasm again.
Sabine
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Hi, I've noticed you have a medical background, and I was wondering if you could help me with a bit of a problem I'm having.
I went swimming today for about an hour, and then again later on for another hour, and I have some water in my left ear, I've tried q-tips, I've tried shaking my head from side to side, because that normally helps and it just comes right out.
But I can't seem to get the water out this time. Do you have any suggestions, or at home remedies I could do to get this water out of my ear. Like, when I move my head from side to side, I can hear it in there. It's driving me insane.
Thanks in advance. (link)
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Ewww... I HATE that!
Yes, that happens all of the time. Qtips are not recommended because you could accidentally damage your eardrum. I never tell any doctors this, but I do it anyway because it's the only thing that can help relieve the itch. There's also a possibility with a qtip that you will push earwax farther into your ear, causing a blockage and muffled hearing.
Here's what I suggest. You can use some plain rubbing alcohol, which helps evaporate water. Just put some in your ear canal and let it drain out the side. Other than that, sleep on your side with that ear down and hopefully it will come out. Be careful if you go in with qtips again. If none of this works, I think there's some swimmer's ear over-the-counter remedies at WalMart or other pharmacies.
Good luck. I hope it gets better soon.
Sabine
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How far after having sex without a condom, should I take a pregnancy test?
I had it last week, was supposed to get my period this week. Do you think its to soon? (link)
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It's likely too soon. Even the most sensitive of tests usually won't work until about 2 weeks after implantation.
Sabine
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im drinking saturday and how do you drink so that you DONT get drunk...?
(link)
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You start by eating a good meal with your alcohol. Get a weak alcohol (beer is much weaker than tequilla, for example). You drink it slowly.
Actually, never mind that. You're 14, according to your profile. You should not drink. There are health, safety, and legal reasons. Don't do it.
Sabine
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My good friend and I were both expecting babies at the same time. Her baby was due in June and mine in September. Her doctor recommended that she get her labor induced because her baby was getting too big. So she got her labor induced and I kept calling the hospital room and no one ever answered, then I called her grandmother's house and I talked to her brother-in-law and he said she had the baby but he ( the baby) didn't make it. I have no idea what to do now. I want to talk to her but I know she going through something that I don't even want to imagaine, and she's the type that wants to be alone. I haven't talked to her at all yet, it just happened today. The baby was 39 weeks today so she was expecting to leave the hospital with a new child not empty handed. We have been so excited the whole time because we were both expecting boys and now I don't if her seeing me still pregnant would cause her more pain. I need advice!!! Should I go see her? And what do I say to her?? (link)
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How awful for your friend! The truth is that most childbearing women will experience a miscarriage or stillbirth in our lifetimes. About 50% of pregnancies never make it to a live birth. Most miscarriages happen mercifully early, but nearly every woman either has had a stillbirth or knows someone close who has. Google Pregnancy Loss and you'll find a lot of stuff, including this do's and don't's list.
http://www.firstcandle.org/whenababy/when_cop_fr.html
I would say you should call your friend, let her know that you are grieving her baby as well, and attend the funeral, etc. Speak with her if you can or possibly someone close to her and share your concern that your happiness will make her sadness deeper. She may wish to avoid you until after your baby is born. I hope you can be okay with that.
Take care of yourself and try not to feel guilty. It's not your fault or your friend's fault. These things happen. The worst thing you can do right now is to drop out of her life.
Sabine
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my dad has been a pastor for 10 years. he was a cop before that and got asked to take his police job back. he accepted and stepped down to part-time pastor at the church. well, one of the committees in the church came to my father last sunday and asked him to take his family and leave the church. so we announced tonight that our last sunday would be fathers day. ive been a little torn up about leaving. ive been there since i was 6. most of those people there remember teaching me and watching me grow up. it pisses me off that they would tell us to leave. its pretty much causing huge drama within the church because so many people dont want us to leave. but we have to. they are bringing in a new pastor. my goddaughters family goes there, my best friend and her family go there... what sucks ass is that my best friends mother is on the committee that asked us to leave. i have a feeling that the church is going to split.
im pissed that they would ask a family such as mine to leave. im not saying that my family is perfect, but i cant tell you how many times we;ve gotten calls at 2am and have gotten out of bed to attend "emergencies". theres been so many times that my father has sacraficed family time to be with someone who only has a week left to live. theres been times when i woke up and didnt know where my father and mother have been, only to find out that they were counseling a family. theres been times when my father has been extremely sick, and still gave of his time to go open the church for someone who forgot their glasses. weve given so much to that church in the past 10 years it seems like they just dont care or dont see how much we do for them. as a family, we have every right to be there.
im not saying that im closed minded. i can see how if youve been a pastor for 10 years and they bring in somebody else to take your spot, how that could affect the church. knowing my dad, i know that it wouldnt hurt him. he would just be happy staying with people hes known and grown to love.
its going to be hard to say goodbye to people whove watched me grow up. some of the young-ish (20-30 yr old) ladies who ive grown to adopt as second parents, we were crying tonight.
everything happens for a reason. but it doesnt seem like it here. we vote over the color of the damn carpet and whether or not to fill the cracks in the ceiling, but we dont vote over asking the pastor and his family to leave?! this whole situation is really weighing on my conscience.
i have mixed feelings. im pissed and im also scared and depressed. any comforting words? (link)
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First, it's not your fault. Churches are made up of people. People tend to disagree and argue and be beaurocratic. I recently left my church for a similar reason. Everything was discussed to death and yet some things were decided in a knee-jerk fashion and were, in my opinion, against our stated values.
I think they probably asked your father to leave because they didn't want some members to go to your father with their issues when they should be going to the new pastor. There are obviously many people who still like your father and would want to involve him with the church's leadership. Since the powers-that-be have decided that your father shouldn't be the pastor anymore, I'm sure they would feel more comfortable if he just left alltogether and the rest of you went as well.
If you stay in the community, though, you'll still see some of those people. Some of them might leave when they hear your family was asked to leave, out of loyalty to you. I hope the church has decided they can afford to lose that membership in terms of both people and financial contributions.
It doesn't sound like your family was treated in a fair or Christian manner, but what can you do? Your dad will move on and you will be able to as well. Just because you're not going to that church anymore, it doesn't mean that you can't see some of the people. I'm sure that if you just continued to show up, they wouldn't throw you out, but you have to decide whether it's worthwhile to you to make waves.
You and your family are the subject matter that's being argued about, but I strongly suspect that the church's leadership is fractured and it's based upon several other issues, not just your family. You didn't cause the church to split - the church was probably split already and divided along the lines of pro-you or anti-you.
You have a right to voice your opinion and speak with anyone you want to about this. Maybe the adults know more than they're telling you (political things) about why your dad was asked to leave. In any case, what's left for you to do is to decide how much you want to work to remain part of this group and how much you want to let go of.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Sabine
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how do you get to the climax of an orgasm
16/f (link)
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There's nothing specific. You do what feels good until the orgasm overtakes you. It's a sort of overstimulation of the pleasure centers in the brain and it won't happen unless you get the right amount of pleasurable stimulation. If you are getting excited, but you can't orgasm, you need to try something else, like using a vibrator or having stimulation on your clitoris or g-spot.
Sabine
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there has to be a catch to vitamin water it cant be thatt good for you , so is there anything wrong with it?
i heard people say theres bad facts about it but i dont know them , do you? (link)
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Well, Vitamin Water is a good concept except that one serving doesn't give you all the vitamins you need. First, not all of the vitamins we need are water-soluble. Some are fat soluble. Those aren't included in the vitamin water. Then the vit water doesn't contain 100% of the daily recommended allowance of everything. The ones which are in megadoses, like C, often can't be absorbed or used, so they're excreted. I had a college professor who said that if you have a good diet, taking a multivitamin merely gives you the ability to make expensive urine.
Really, there's no substitution for eating well. If you don't eat well, vitamin water can help out a little. But there are calories and carbs (sugars) in it, so you can't just drink that stuff all of the time.
Sabine
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If i get my blood taken to see if i am pregnant will it show up that i have smoked weed? If i go to planned parenthood and it shows up (my mom is taking me) will they tell her that I did drugs? (link)
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When you go to Planned Parenthood and give your blood, they will be looking in your blood for the presence of a hormone called beta human coriandogonadotrophin, or bHCG. It's one test, not a panel of different tests. In order to test for drugs, they would run what's called a 'tox screen.
Planned parenthood is not interested in looking for drugs unless you give them a reason to be. If they do look for drugs without your permission, then there are legal issues. Also, they aren't treating you for drug issues and they don't get paid to do it, so why would they test for weed? Unless there's something else going on besides a simple pregnancy test, they will not test for THC (marijuana).
That being said, if you are going to have the child, you should ask to speak with the doctor/nurse alone and let him or her know that you have used marijuana and would like that to be kept between the two of you. He or she can then counsel you on how much impact your use will have on the baby.
Take care.
Sabine
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is it true asian girls have smaller ...vaginas?
or what.. (link)
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I think it's true that Asian women tend to be more petite and that more petite bodies tend to have smaller structures. Younger women have tighter muscles. So a young, petite Asian might have smaller genital area, a tighter vagina, and possibly a shorter vagina if the woman is short of stature.
Sabine
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in the secret, it kinda says that you control your own destiny. i always thought hashem controlled everything. in chumash class, we learned that hashem is involved in all of our lives. but the secret says that the law of attraction makes no mistakes; that it works every time. dosent this sort of go against religioon? (link)
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As a believer in evolution, I'd have to say that the secret, which says you control your own destiny is not what most of us believe. Because it states that you control your destiny by controlling your environment in a kind of mind-over-matter way. If you see only thin people, you will be thin, etc. It's actually not religious nor logical. It's something close to superstitious, or a belief in the supernatural powers of the human mind. It's not religion, it's not logic. It's new-age belief in the hidden powers of the brain.
Sabine
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17/f
How do I tell my mom that I am pregnant? She thinks I am a virgin, so not only do I have to tell her I had sex, but I also have to tell her that I am pregnant. Ever since I was little she told me that I would be the one to most likely get pregnant first (out of my older sister and I. I just don't know how to tell her. What do I say? How long will she stay mad? (link)
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The answer to all of your questions depends on how your Mom is. If she's abusive, the previous advisor could be wrong. She may not be supportive. If she's highly religious, she may not be able to be there for you, even if she loves you.
So what would be easiest on your mom? Is your dad in your life? Would it be easier to tell him first and then break it to your mom together? Is the father of the child in your life? What about his parents? Could the two of you get all of the parents together and let them know?
Is there an adult female relative or the mom of a friend who can help you?
Here's what I would do, with a reasonably calm and mentally-stable mother. I would speak with her with the father of the child present. I'd just ask to talk to her and then say "Mom, I know you are going to be horribly disappointed and I wish I could change this (assuming you do wish that). I'm pregnant." You should try to know what you're going to do, whether you want to terminate the pregnancy or whether you want to deliver the baby. Then you will need to figure out whether you and the baby's father are going to stay together and possibly make a life together or not. Then you need to decide whether you're going to keep the baby or put it up for adoption. Let your mother know that you're aware you've let her down and apologize if it feels right to you. Be prepared for your mother to not react at all, to yell, or to cry.
It's a tough situation even with the most forgiving and understanding of parents. Good luck.
Sabine
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my best friend is middle eastren and she is muslim. she is really really cool and so open minded. she's nothing like how muslims are portrayed in the media. she goes out has fun but still respects her tradition and stuff and i respect that. recently she's been worried like crazy though. when i asked her she actually confided in me and told me whats the matter... i didn't know what to tell her so i was hoping you guys can help its very serious:
she fell in love with this muslim guy and they love each other soooo much and are planning to get married soon. in islam a girl has to be a virgin to get married and the "only solid proof" of that is if her hymen is still intact. she'as never had sex before so she IS a virgin. that we both know. however, she does masturbate... and she told me she looked it up and it is allowed in islam for her to do so if it meant not having sex before marriage. so far so good. the only problem is that she broke her hymen masturbating and culture/traditional wise no religion wise she will get in so much trouble for that. if she gets married and she doesn't bleed on her first night retributions will be bad (and i mean beyond european and north american bad... i ddnt even want to ask her about them)
now ignore all that. that was just background. my question is there anyway she can repair her hymen? or fake bleeding or something? can a gyno in the states or canada do it for her (she is there to finish college) is there anyyyyway possible to get her out of accusations she is inocent of?
please help she is really panicking... and she cant talk to her parents about it even if she showed them proof that religion does permit it.....it's her country's tradition..... (link)
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Well, it's possible that she only tore her hymen a little bit. It may tear more and bleed more when she has full, penetrating intercourse. She can try to plan her wedding for when she'll be on her period anyway. She can also 'fake' it by pulling on a hangnail or using a push pin to poke a finger or toe and making sure blood gets on the sheets if she can do that without being caught. I wouldn't normally advise anyone to be deceitful, but there is the matter of the serious consequences involved.
Best wishes to all of you.
Sabine
Since you asked for further advice, I guess what I would do is prick myself and bleed on a handkerchief. Then I'd put that hanky under my pillow on my wedding night and then pull it out from under and use it to wipe myself after sex. I might leave it lying around for a few minutes so my husband could see. Of course, honesty is the best policy, but when it's a matter of life and death, I think the crime of deception is easier to deal with. It's a hard situation to handle.
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what are things i can masterbate with without poping my cherry (link)
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don't forget a massaging shower head
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14, Female
LONG but please it ALL!
Ok a few night ago I was hanging out with my boyfriend for 2 months and yes I know it doesnt sound like a lot but we've thru a lot that his sister passing away. She had cance from birth so I had to be with him and comfort him and I wouldnt want it any other way and I truely like him but we were hanging out and watching movies when he told me he loved me.. I dont know about you but when I tell someone I love them I mean it its not something i say/ but i couldnt say it back!!!! I like him SO MUCH but im only 14 I dont know what love is yet I hope what im feeling is love but im just not sure Im only 14!!! I want to explain it to him why I couldnt say it but without him thinking that I dont care about him I wanna say I like you I DO but im only 14 and im not really sure what love is.. i dont want to hurt him i mean his moms an alcoholic sence his sister passed away, and his little brother Kile has been staying like everyother night here so he wont go hungry becuase the moms not working and the Dad left before Miranda was born so Kile has a diffrent Dad that didnt stick aroumd either! Im like begging him to come and live here with me and my family I know my parents wouldnt mind because ive been telling my mom everything and she wants to beat his mom because shes not working.. so there like no food in the house but every time he says he cant leave him mom because if it was just her she'd drink and drink and starve herself! all she does is lay on the couch! Kile is hopefully soon becoming a full member in this household and thats how my boyfriend wants it but he still has to be like a father and make sure his moms ok but its too much for him and i think last night he got drunk with his mom and i cant say im dissipointed because it would kill him and i hate it because its like walking on eggshells with him you dont know what will happen
ok I know its alot I just dont want him getting mad at me and trying to handle everything on his own because it'll kill him! I dont want to keep pushing the issue about him living her but i dont want him taking Kile because kiles only 8 and wont understand why he'll be hungry And every night before kile goes to sleep I tell him i love him but i cant tell my boyfriend???? so either i explain it to him why I cant say i love you to him OR just say it but mean it but how do you mean it??? please help me im being Girlfriend, Mother, but not a good girlfriend!! please i know this is long but answer me and i never said my boyfriends name so i dont think its something everyone has to know (link)
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What a horribly difficult situation you are ALL in, including the drunk mother. So sad...
There are a couple of things I can advise you on. You should tell your boyfriend that you love him as a person, as you love his brother, but that you feel romantically attracted to him as well. Just tell him that you aren't in romantic love with him now and you'd like to have some time to let that happen. Let him know that when he says that in the future he may not hear what he wants in return. You may never fall in love with him. Most people don't fall in love with the boy they're with at age 14. I didn't fall in love until I was 19 and in college and I'd had plenty of boyfriends before then. I did, in fact, break up with a guy for telling me he loved me after just 3 dates. In retrospect, that was a little harsh, but I knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere. ANYWAY, when you fall in love, you will have no doubt about what it is. You can't really describe it, but anyone who's had the experience knows for sure they've done it.
Cut your guy some slack. There are MAJOR things happening in his life. He may really feel that he loves you or he may be searching for anything to feel other than sadness, despair, disgust, hopelesness, etc. He may be clinging on to you because you're the one good thing in his life right now. He may really think he's in love with you. And he may really be. That doesn't mean you have to be in love with him or even pretend to be. If you pretend, it will make things worse later.
So that's my advice regarding the love issue.
Regarding the messed-up situation at your boyfriend's house, someone needs to call Child Protective Services to get the mother some help. Of course she's depressed. She has every right to be. But she needs to take care of herself and her children. Because if she's not working, she's not buying food and probably not paying the rent/mortgage. Not only will Kile and BF be hungry, but soon they'll likely be homeless. Someone needs to step in before it gets that far. You may think that Social Services (or CPS) will just take the boys away from their mother, but they will really do *everything* in their power not to let it get that far. They can help the mother with counseling, help with her substance abuse issues, get her going back to work, help her come up with plans to get help from any of her support network (her parents, her friends, her church, whatever), they can get her on food stamps, medicaid, or whatever. They can refer the family to a food bank so the kids don't go hungry. They can help Kile and BF go through the grieving process. All it takes is one call to CPS or Social Services and you can remain anonymous! Please consider making that call so BF doesn't end up dropping out of school to support his brother and drunk mother. The only way to turn this bad situation around is to get help.
Sabine
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