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church split. our fault.
my dad has been a pastor for 10 years. he was a cop before that and got asked to take his police job back. he accepted and stepped down to part-time pastor at the church. well, one of the committees in the church came to my father last sunday and asked him to take his family and leave the church. so we announced tonight that our last sunday would be fathers day. ive been a little torn up about leaving. ive been there since i was 6. most of those people there remember teaching me and watching me grow up. it pisses me off that they would tell us to leave. its pretty much causing huge drama within the church because so many people dont want us to leave. but we have to. they are bringing in a new pastor. my goddaughters family goes there, my best friend and her family go there... what sucks ass is that my best friends mother is on the committee that asked us to leave. i have a feeling that the church is going to split.
im pissed that they would ask a family such as mine to leave. im not saying that my family is perfect, but i cant tell you how many times we;ve gotten calls at 2am and have gotten out of bed to attend "emergencies". theres been so many times that my father has sacraficed family time to be with someone who only has a week left to live. theres been times when i woke up and didnt know where my father and mother have been, only to find out that they were counseling a family. theres been times when my father has been extremely sick, and still gave of his time to go open the church for someone who forgot their glasses. weve given so much to that church in the past 10 years it seems like they just dont care or dont see how much we do for them. as a family, we have every right to be there.
im not saying that im closed minded. i can see how if youve been a pastor for 10 years and they bring in somebody else to take your spot, how that could affect the church. knowing my dad, i know that it wouldnt hurt him. he would just be happy staying with people hes known and grown to love.
its going to be hard to say goodbye to people whove watched me grow up. some of the young-ish (20-30 yr old) ladies who ive grown to adopt as second parents, we were crying tonight.
everything happens for a reason. but it doesnt seem like it here. we vote over the color of the damn carpet and whether or not to fill the cracks in the ceiling, but we dont vote over asking the pastor and his family to leave?! this whole situation is really weighing on my conscience.
i have mixed feelings. im pissed and im also scared and depressed. any comforting words?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
I'm not too familiar with the bible, but I do recall a story in which one of the apostles or disciples was trying to preach to a town. The people in the town told him to go away so he did. I believe the moral was that it's good to preach the gospel, but if the people you preach it to don't want it, don't force it on them and leave.
Your church has asked you to leave, although I'm no religious scholar and I probably might end up giving you some wrong advice(in a christian perspective) my own christian beliefs tell me that your family should leave because you were asked to. Your father may have sacrificed a lot for your church, and although the people on the committee don't see that, the good he has done is obvious in God's eyes.
Personally, if i went to a church like that and a committee told my pastor's family to leave after he stepped down from being a pastor, I would leave to. A church of god shouldn't reject anyone, especially one of their own. Once again, I'm not a religious scholar and my knowledge of christianity, is very, very limited, but i would say the people on your committee are not real christians. Their actions reflect the "godlessness" within them. If anything, your family should pray for them. I'll pray for you to, and this might seem random to you, but I have a large obstacle in my life coming up, if you could pray for me to, that would be great. Thanks.
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First, it's not your fault. Churches are made up of people. People tend to disagree and argue and be beaurocratic. I recently left my church for a similar reason. Everything was discussed to death and yet some things were decided in a knee-jerk fashion and were, in my opinion, against our stated values.
I think they probably asked your father to leave because they didn't want some members to go to your father with their issues when they should be going to the new pastor. There are obviously many people who still like your father and would want to involve him with the church's leadership. Since the powers-that-be have decided that your father shouldn't be the pastor anymore, I'm sure they would feel more comfortable if he just left alltogether and the rest of you went as well.
If you stay in the community, though, you'll still see some of those people. Some of them might leave when they hear your family was asked to leave, out of loyalty to you. I hope the church has decided they can afford to lose that membership in terms of both people and financial contributions.
It doesn't sound like your family was treated in a fair or Christian manner, but what can you do? Your dad will move on and you will be able to as well. Just because you're not going to that church anymore, it doesn't mean that you can't see some of the people. I'm sure that if you just continued to show up, they wouldn't throw you out, but you have to decide whether it's worthwhile to you to make waves.
You and your family are the subject matter that's being argued about, but I strongly suspect that the church's leadership is fractured and it's based upon several other issues, not just your family. You didn't cause the church to split - the church was probably split already and divided along the lines of pro-you or anti-you.
You have a right to voice your opinion and speak with anyone you want to about this. Maybe the adults know more than they're telling you (political things) about why your dad was asked to leave. In any case, what's left for you to do is to decide how much you want to work to remain part of this group and how much you want to let go of.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Sabine
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Hi.
I don't understand... WHY have they asked him to leave? I can understand them needing to bring in a new Pastor to take over since they may feel they need someone to do the job full time but asking your dad to leave and take his family with him? That seems totally out of order!
I have always thought a Church to be a place where anyone can go (I'm not a Christian) and regardless of their colour, profession, race etc they can all feel welcome because it's the 'House of God', so I would personally like to know why and how is this commitee allowed to decide who can and who can't be there?
That said, I will say don't let this stuff that's going on get you down. Your father (and mom) sound like some amazing people to have done so much at the expense of their own family and such as you mentioned. Even though all these people on the commitee may not see this the only real person who needs to see it and does see everything is the big Man upstairs. Take comfort in knowing that your parents helped so many people while being there. If because of what has happen causes internal problems for the church (such as them splitting as you mentioned) then there may not be anything you can do to prevent that at all. It's the fate that they choose and a fate they will need to deal with afterwards. As you said things happen for a reason so what's happening now with your dad may all be happening for a reason. It might just be a reason we cannot see yet or understand yet but you are obviously someone who has a lot of faith so have faith, things will ultimately turn out for the best.
"Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?" -Author Unknown
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*huggles* My dad used to be a pastor. He's been asked to leave a couple times, and quit a few too. I understand that it feels horrible to leave that church family behind, but would you really want to stay there while the new pastor took your dad's place? Trust me, its not fun. I've returned to places he used to pastor, and everyone was uber sweet and sugary all the time, but they were faking it.
I'm sorry that it happened to you too.
Email me if you wanna talk!!
Rosie
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