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My Friend Lost Her Baby
My good friend and I were both expecting babies at the same time. Her baby was due in June and mine in September. Her doctor recommended that she get her labor induced because her baby was getting too big. So she got her labor induced and I kept calling the hospital room and no one ever answered, then I called her grandmother's house and I talked to her brother-in-law and he said she had the baby but he ( the baby) didn't make it. I have no idea what to do now. I want to talk to her but I know she going through something that I don't even want to imagaine, and she's the type that wants to be alone. I haven't talked to her at all yet, it just happened today. The baby was 39 weeks today so she was expecting to leave the hospital with a new child not empty handed. We have been so excited the whole time because we were both expecting boys and now I don't if her seeing me still pregnant would cause her more pain. I need advice!!! Should I go see her? And what do I say to her??
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yeah go see her and bring flowers and tell her that its ok and not to be sad and that when shes better that you two gotta chill somewhere and mention a good place or thing to do.And if she brings up her child tell her that shell get pregnant again and itlll be fine.DONT mention your baby AT ALL.
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How awful for your friend! The truth is that most childbearing women will experience a miscarriage or stillbirth in our lifetimes. About 50% of pregnancies never make it to a live birth. Most miscarriages happen mercifully early, but nearly every woman either has had a stillbirth or knows someone close who has. Google Pregnancy Loss and you'll find a lot of stuff, including this do's and don't's list.
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I would say you should call your friend, let her know that you are grieving her baby as well, and attend the funeral, etc. Speak with her if you can or possibly someone close to her and share your concern that your happiness will make her sadness deeper. She may wish to avoid you until after your baby is born. I hope you can be okay with that.
Take care of yourself and try not to feel guilty. It's not your fault or your friend's fault. These things happen. The worst thing you can do right now is to drop out of her life.
Sabine
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