Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84136
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Families
Parenting
View All
|
| |
female
i have NEVER orgasmed...ever. i mean, when i have sex im reaaally wet , but i never orgasm. most of the time after a few minutes of sex i go numb ! i want to feel what everyone else does. ive had sex with guys and girls and i just never do. it feels reaallly good but i never hit a point where its amazing and i cum. lol im sorry.
ive tried to figure out what can make me cum by masterbatin, and i mean it feels good but i cant make myself do it either
its driving me nuts that i cant ! why is this ? (link)
|
Why not try a mechanical vibrator. At least once so you'll know how it feels. It will give you a better idea of where the exact spot is that needs to be stimulated so that you can orgasm. Myself, I can only orgasm from directly stimulation of the clitoris. Not from intercourse. I have never had an orgasm that way, and may women are the same way. I do hope that you succeed soon, as it is wonderful.
Michele
|
|
I have a major PROBLEM!i can't get wet!I have a new bf and we make out everyday but Im NEVER horny!!!what is wrong with me??what should I do about it? (link)
|
Well this is just my opinion, but it is from experience. Young boys are not interested in pleasing their partner, as much as they are interested in pleasing themselves. And it is very easy for them to orgasm. Especially if they enter your vagina with their penis. For a young girl to get aroused and excited and then, yes, wet. It takes time and patience. Kissing, not just mouth kissing, long slow kissing. Kissing on the neck and shoulders. Also words. Telling you how beautiful you are, how lovely you look today, what a great body you have, and then tell you how he makes you feel. That kind of foreplay usually happens when couples are more mature, say 20 and older. Because, young boys need to learn that sex is NOT ALL ABOUT THEM. They need to learn to take their time and make sure that their partner is also aroused and ready. If you can, you should try to speak frankly with your boyfriend and tell him that you think he is going too fast and he needs to take time to "make love" to you. Using kind words and soft kisses, and loving caresses. If he is not willing to do this, or if you find it to embarassing to talk to him about it, then it is time to find a new boyfriend. One who thinks about you, not just himself.
Good luck to you dear.
- Michele
|
|
is it true that like bread and wraps make your stomach big or like bloat or whatever? i want my stomach to go down for halloween. i'm doing cross country and we do ab workouts but i eat bread like everyday so is that why my stomach isn't going down? what foods should i eat? i need to lose my stomch by halloweeen. thanks. (link)
|
Cutting out bread will definitly make you loose weight, as long as you dont replace it with something else. REally it is ALL about the calories. If you take in more each day, than you burn up, you'll gain weight. Bread is a good start, but your body may miss the calories that the bread provided. Cross Country Skiing and ab ab work out each day will definitly help. Be consistent, don't give up. Work out at least 5 times a week. Eat healthy. You may even be allergic to wheat products like bread and they make your stomach bloat. I developed an alergy to wheat late in life so anything is possible.
Good luck to you and keep up the good work.
Michele
|
|
Please Tell me the quickest way, I have a photoshoot tomorrow... And I need 3 of them gone, Help, Please Thanks[: (link)
|
Tea Tree Oil. It smell terrible, but it works. Can
't guarantee it will work overnight, but it does work fast. If this is a professional photoshoot, won't they have a makeup artist there to help you. They know how to cover pimples, you won't see them in the photo. They call also touch up the photo to remove any blemishes you may have.
So don't worry. Best thing you can do is get a good nights sleep.
Michele
|
|
If you get the pill and start taking it everyday like you are supposed to how long will it take to effectively prevent you from pregnancy? Do you have to wait a whole menstrual cycle, or does it work right away? (link)
|
You should wait a whole menstrual cycle, just incase an egg dropped down and is in your uterus waiting to be fertilized. Once there cycle is over, there won't be any more eggs. So it is best to use other protection for the firts month.
After that, as you know, the pill is only 98% affective, but those are great odds.
Don't skip any days, that could be a problem.
good luck
and kudos to you for being so responsible.
Michele
|
|
i just sold two items. and it says i need to ship them. but my mom says there was no money put into her bank account? i dont want to ship them without getting my money.. HELP? (link)
|
HI HOney, I sell one bay all the time. I guess you just have to be patient. If you tied your mom's bank account in with the paypal account, then eventually she will get the funds. You do need to have a paypal account in order to get paid. Well those are ebays rules anyway. If you do, then eventually the money will be put in there because some people are SSSLLLOOOWWW to pay. Ebay and Paypal DO NOT delay payments. It is all up to the buyer. If you did not open a paypal account then maybe the buyers are going to send you check or money orders. If that is the case plese wait for any checks to clear. Before you ship. In any event, you are right to believe that you should not ship anything until you get paid. Someone either you or your mom should be in touch with these buyers through email and through ebay.
good luck
Michele
|
|
My mom recently stopped buying our usual bread and has picked up some wheat breads to try out. I think they taste totally different but not bad. I asked her why we are changing to this new bread and she told me that wheat bread is healthier than white bread. I, of course, asked her how it is healthier and she didn't really know but told me that I should find out. I looked around but I think the explanations might be a little too confusing because I can't really grasp WHY the bread is considered a healthier choice. Could someone PLEASE explain this to me? (link)
|
The first answer is correct, but let me add....white bread is processed food. Wheat bread goes through much less processing. So it has more of the natural ingredients that we eat bread for. It is healthier. Foods closer to their natural state are always healthier than processed foods. For example fresh strawberries are healthier than strawberry jam. Get in the habit of reading food labels. if you can't pronounce the ingredients, then you shouldn't eat it. That is a good rule to follow.
Hope this helps.
Michele
|
For weeks I have been iffy about even writing this.
I am young 18 and just got married in August. I am pregnant that is not why we got married but I think we rushed into it. We were planning the wedding already had my wedding dress before i found out I was Pregnant.
Sometimes I find myself regretting getting marred My reasons. I wanted to work days and go to school nights. It would be tough but id be able to better myself for me and my family he through a fit and didnt support me at all. told me either work or go to school but advises me to work because we need the money. Being pregnant I have my mood swings like most if we have an argument its all my fault he will yell at me and blame me then make me feel guilty by saying oh its always all my fault i forgot your so perfect. sometimes he makes im crap. If i feel nauses or sick at night or anything and he wants sex he pouts and acts like he is mad by not saying a workd until he gets it then goes to sleep. he goes hunting, fishing, baseball teams and tournaments etc. anything he wants and i dont argue about it i just let him.
I have asked a million times to look harder for a job. he works 2 days aweek at a sale barn doing something he likes i work full time on my swallon feet 40+ hours a week and come home exhausted and tired. its like he dont care he doesnt want to even try to look he put an app. in at burgerking one app.. in 5 weeks? we live at my dads. which i dont feel is save but dont have a choice. hes lazy
and to top it off he always wants to spend money. i used to get food stamps which just stopped but hed want a gallon of tea every 2 days. go out and buy food he wants all the time because hes to lazy to cook one thing or wait for it to get done. as soon as he gets paid he goes and spends most of the money on garbage food and gets mad when i tell him i dont want it id rather eat food i cook at home.
I love my husband to death trust me and want to work things out but i dont know what to do i talk to him about it and itslike it is in one ear and out the other. (link)
|
Hi Dear,
I am soooo sorry to hear about your troubles. You sound like a sensible girl, and even though you got married young, you are ready to make a committement to have a life and a family with your child and your husband. I know how it feels. I have been there. And you are doing the righ thing. Trouble is....you don't have a partner. Your husband is like having a teenage boy around. Wait until that baby is born. Then you'll understand who deserves your undivided attention, your hard work and your dedication AND sacrifice.
While you'll expect your adult husband to be willing to do all the same things you are willing to do to raise a happy, healthy well adjusted baby. You'll be sorely dissapointed. You'll feel like you have a young baby who needs you and depends on you, and a teenage son, who is selfish and angry. Because that is what I see coming down the road. He acts selfish now. You don't mention at all anything he does for you. YOUR PREGNANT!. You need rest, nutrition, and TLC. (tender loving care.) He is just worried about his own pleasures and needs. All of your complaints are valid. He is not going to change. You say you love him to death. Wait, you won't love him for long. Six months from now,you are going to hate him.
Believe it, you two will end up divorced. But that will not be the end of your life. You sound strong and sensible. That baby needs at least one good parent. Looks like that is you.
I know it is hard, but it is not impossible. I went through the same thing. Ended up haveing two kids with my "teenager of a husband". After the second one I got so depressed because I felt like now I have two babies to take care of and a big old teenage son (my husband) and I am the only one who is worried about where the money is coming from to pay the bills. I had to work, and work and work, two, three jobs sometimes. Just to make ends meet. While he couldn't be bothered. No job suited him. He couldn't work for less than I did. Every job he had, he quit. Or maybe got fired, but that is not what he told me. He always wanted me to feel sorry for him. I finally left him when the youngest child was 1 year old. It was the hardest thing I ever did. But it turned out to be the best. My boys are 23 and 19 now. They are sweet young men who have gone to college, and are very nice to their girlfriends. They are not selfish, they are smart and confident and they work hard. It can be done. It is not easy. But in the end it is all worth it.
And yes I have a life too. I am very happy and even went to college and got a degree. I will pray for you. Pray for you that you find the strenght to give your child the chances that you didn't get.
Good luck to you
Michele
|
|
when im around my bf me and him always smiles and laugh and we write notes to each other and he is my ex from 3rd grade and its been a year in a half since i seen him and last year i was in 6th grade and on the first day he saw me and asked my best friend what my name was and she told him it was kelsey and then i got a note from him saing kelsey its been a year in a half since i saw you i missed you and i wana go bak out with you and then he said i love you angel thats what he called me in 3rd grade and thats when i went out with him back then but now me and him are going out and i just want to know did i do the right thing (link)
|
Sure you did the right thing. Are you worried because he did not remember your name? Maybe he just wanted to be sure that it was you before he sent the note. No harm in that. If you two are always laughing and smiling when you are together, then it was a positive move on your part. Just remember that young people change a lot from year to year. You are always learning about the world around you and about yourselves, and your likes and dislikes change. So even though you two are going strong now and getting along, things can change. So just keep an open mind. the best thing you can both do for yourselves and for each other is be KIND and respect each other. Don't try to change each other. Just enjoy each other's company. Don't put pressure on each other either. I hope you continue to have a great relationship.
- Michele
|
This is pretty emmbarassing but im not afraid to speak of it. ive had sex with like 2 poeple only and a total of 15 times. ive done everything ya know ect. ect. but for the first few minutes of intercoarse its pretty good, then nothing. so thru all that time its not pleasurable at all. like theres no pain, just... dull-ness? like i feel nothing afterward then idk when to stop hah omgsh.
i hope that wasnt confusing.
is ther something wrong?
and weve tried ways to kick it up, but nope.. (link)
|
Sounds to me like you are NOT having orgasms. And I am not surprised. You and your boyfriend do not understand how to pleasure a woman's body. SO I guess you have not tried everything yet. Go on line and google vagina and photos. You'll see some medical drawings of a woman's vagina. Note where the clitoris is. That is what has to be stimulated. When that spot is simulated the correct way. (with patience, with gentleness and with lots of lubrication) you should be able to achieve an orgasm. Maybe you should try it on yourself first.
Some women, if they have a small clitoris, can NEVER achieve orgasm through intercourse, But that does not mean that they cannot achieve orgasm. There are other ways. Oral sex is not just for guys.
- Hope this helps
Michele
|
I hate the place I'm living. I complain about it all the time but there's nothing anyone can do about it because whether I like it or not - I'm here for another 2 years (about). Anyways, I hate all my friends. I had one really close friend; Camilla. But she totally changed. I don't even know her anymore. I'm a freshman in High School, so is she, and now she's friends with all the sophmores and the juniors. It seems like she forgot all about me. I feel so angry, like I hate her, and everything is her fault. But maybe it's not her fault, maybe I'm not used to this idea of her not always being with me. But she's never with me, not in school, not in weekends. She was invited to this movie night and now all the upperclassmen like her, and it's so annoying. Maybe I'm just jealous, but I can't take it. I can't let things change with us because I know it'll ruin me. What should I do?
Another question -- I'm depressed, and it's killing me. I always do research but there's no way I can explain to my parents that I'm depressed so I need therapy/anti-depressants.
Is there another way to cure/better my depression? (link)
|
Well I would try natural remedies first. Here are a few that have good results with mild depression. Sunlight! yes it works,and it's free. St.John Wort an herbal remedy, and Sam-E an other herbal and vitamin supplement that is very popular in Europe. Less expensive than drugs and you don't need to see a doctor.
It is also very noticible that you are unhappy and there is nothing more of a bummer than being with people who are down and/or negative all the time. Some people are just like that, they complain all the time. But it does not help you win friends or influence people. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has their own problems. You may think yours are worse, but believe me, there are those much worse off. And maybe even some people you know. But you don't know about their problems because they don't want to waste other people's time, they know that no one wants to hear it, and they want to forget about their problems for a while. Especially when they are with friends.
Try being up beat and try to look happy. Even if it kills you inside. For a while it may feel fake, but when friends come back, or when people seek out your company, then maybe you will feel better. You sound young and not in a position to be making decisions about where you can live and where you can go to school. Well suck it up. We all went thru it and we all survived. When we finally did get to the age where we were in charge of our own destiny. We were happy, but we also realized that we didn't know as much as we thougth we did when we were younger. So hold on, be patient, you'll get there. Try to get there happy. This is a time in your life when you should be enjoying yourself. Make sure you are not standing in your own way to a happy life. Soon enough, you'll be an adult in the eyes of the law, and you be in charge and then you'll have to worry about, paying rent, making car payments, paying for insurance, utilities, phone, etc. etc. You have to work to pay for all of this, and you'll hardly have time for friends. Then you'll think back on the days when all you were responsible for was school work, and wish you had them back.
Good luck to you.
- Michele
|
|
i coloured my hair and a week later i experienced severe hair loss, and then at the end of the month i went to a dermatologist he prescribed biotin and dexorange.....hair fall completely stopped but its been a year since then and i havent seen any improovement,my hair is very thin all over the head now! do you think hair loss is permanent? are my follicles dead? Thanks to all those who answer! (link)
|
Try some supplements to help your hair grow back and keep your follicles healthy. Shin Min is a great product. It is made of chinese herbs and vitamins. I have seen a great improvement in my hair from taking them. I have fine thin hair and not a lot of it. For Shampoos I really like,
Aveda's Volumizing Shampoo. it claims to increase hair size by 17%. I know that is not a lot, I mean I'd really like 50%, but that, of course would be a miracle. I'll 17% whenever I can get it. AVeda Products are not cheap, but when I think of all the money I spent on shampoos and conditions and product that claimed to thicken hair, well turns out I could afford Aveda. Good luck to you
- Michele
|
|
Recently I cut hair my hair and I cut it much more than I wanted. I really want it to grow back fast. I dont have the kind of hair that grows fast though, but I wouldnt even know for sure because Ive never really cut my hair until now. So I looked up Hairfinity Vitamins and its supposed to make your hair grow faster. Does anyone know about Hairfinity and if it really works? any stories? how much can I expect to grow within 3 months? (link)
|
I am not familiar with hairfinity, the best product I have ever used, and it did work, and what a co-incedince I just ordered more, is Shin Min. It is made of vitamins and chinese herbs. It is not cheap,but I found it on Swanson Vitamins.com for about 17.00. Here is a link to a site that list every website that has Shin Min for sale. What you should do is look at the ingredients of Shin Min, compare them to Hairfinity, and then compare prices and then decide. So My recommendation is that Shin Min works. Good luck to you.
- Michele
|
For my AP government history class we have to write a short answer for this question: Compare two countries, unequal in size and population, with popular perceptions of power. (ex. Japan & Russia).
I dont want to know the answer to this, I just want to know what it means by popular perceptions of power. I have nooo clue, and this is due tomorrow :/
HELP ME PLEASEEE!!!!
THANK YOUUU! (link)
|
What I think this means. Popular Perceptions of power. Another take on the word popular is population. I think the question means, governments whose population accepts and supports the power structure in their own country. Unlike a dictator ship in which the population has no choice. Whether they like the government or not, they are forced to live with it. So yes, in Japan, the population happily supports their government. In Russia, I'm not so sure. If you go against the government in Russia, you'll disappear.
So which countries have you learned about recently that a most likely democratic and in which the population is NOT intimidated by the government, and the poplulation enjoys freedoms and self determination.
Those would be the countries that you should compare.
Hope this helps
- Michele
|
I am 17/F.
For the past 3 days I have been feeling crappy. It started with sore throat and headache, and now I am extremely tired and my muscles are sore. My throat feels swollen all the way up to under my ears. I go from burning up and sweating to freezing and getting chills and goosebumps constantly. Even as my head feels hot the rest of my body is freezing. My nose is running a lot, and i just feel kind of sad and confused some of the time.
Its possible i am just sore from cheerleading, and am tired from school, but im not sure. a girl on my team has mono and just recently started practice with us again, and i work with a kindergarten class 3 times a week, so that doesnt help much!
I hate wasting my moms money and going to see a doctor if its just a cold, but I'd also hate to continue daily activities that could mess up my spleen if i do have mono.
What do you think??? (link)
|
It sounds to me like you have the flu. Wake up. There is a flu pandemic coming. And many of us are going to get it, and the things you described are the symptoms. And you work with a kindergarten class. Wow. They expect the flu pandemic to hit the schools first. And you are also run down from being so busy and not getting enough rest and eating right. Are any of the kids sick? That is a dead give away. You'll catch what they have, that's for sure.
Flu has to run it's course, so just stay in bed, stay warm, and try to take some fluids. Mono is called the sleeping disease because you feel tired all the time. No so much muscle pain or runny nose and stuff.
There is a vaccine for the flu but it is not ready yet. You are probably lucky that you got it early.
You'll be just fine.
Don't take asprin if you are under 21, very dangerous, take tylenol if you like. Tamiflu is supposed to help, but it is probably to late now. You'll feel better soon.
- Michele
|
|
So my boyfriend and I had sex for our first time 2 and a half weeks ago and then we did again a week later. All fully protected and safe, he didn't cum or anything. I just still am paranoid. My 28th day was yesterday and i usually start between 29-32 days, I'm on time usually and I am just paranoid. I want my period to come but I try not to think about it. I've had like alot of wetness in my underwear, well not alot but a good amount and I just wondered if that was normal. Is my period coming? (link)
|
Well if you took all the necessary precautions then yes I think it is coming. You're not actually late yet. But when you take chances it can drive you crazy. Don't you get any other symptoms before you get your period? Like weight gain, bloating, cramps, mood swings? Are you getting any of those symptoms?
I'll tell you this. I didn't get pregnant until I was married, and once we decided to try, and we had unprotected sex....I knew, after two times trying, immediately, that I was pregnant that morning. Because I got up and I had this awful shooting pain in both breast. Went right to the nipples. But it was gone as fast at it came. But I said to my husband. I'm pregnant. This was like within 48 hours of trying. And of course he said, no your not. And I said, yes I am, because I had never had a pain like that before in my life. And I was right. I was pregnant. So, pay attention to the changes in your body, and you'll know. I think you are over thinking this and making yourself nervous. I am glad that you are not having unprotected sex, but you must understand NOTHING is 100% reliable. Except abstinance. Which I am not promoting. Please just keep using protection.
Good luck to you.
Michele
|
|
I am 18 years old and I have the worst short term memory. I dont smoke weed or anything like that so my brain cells are not being damaged. Ever since I was younger, during a conversation I forget a word that I want to say. My vocabulary is horrible becasue ill know the word that I want to say but since I cant think of it at the moment I use a dumb word that barely makes sence. I forget things right after reading a sentance in a book. Sometimes when Im with a group of people I get discouraged to talk becasue I care about what they think or if they will make fun of the way I talk. People are witty and come up with interesting convos. I hear them having long lasting coonvos but mine are so short and I feel like its my fault. Do you think I mentally care to much about what people think and overthink what I want to say then it comes out wrong or do you think its a serious problem? Please help (link)
|
Well you could have a real memory problem that is organic and would have to be diagnosed, OR you could just be very nervous and trying to hard to make a good impression. The one way I know best to improve ones vocabulary, is to READ. Read more books, or even magazines. Find something you are interested in and read about it. Reading increases your vocabulary and you will have better conversations. While reading if you don't know a word then look it up. That is the best way to learn it and remember it. Go to www.dictionary.com. Sign up for "word of the day" emails. They're free. A good vocabulary is the best way to impress people and feel comfortable in new situations and with new people.
Now if you do read and and find that you can't remember what you just read, then you may have an organic brain problem, so you should see a doctor about it.
HOpe this helps
- Michele
|
Okay, I was an accident child, so I'm fourteen years old, and my Mom is 51. Anyways, she's been smoking since age fourteen, and she's addicted to cigarettes, but she won't confess it to me. Anyways, I'm going to be needing her for quite some more years, and besides, I want her in my life as long as possible. I hate the way it makes my clothes smell, and house. It's EMBARASSING. Purely. And I absolutely hate it, and I'm to the point where I'm constantly washing my clothes, and putting on body fragrences to run away from it. It's hurting her, and smoking is j ust a terrible thing. I want her to stop, and she's been telling me she would for the LONGEST time. And I'm sick of being let down. I'm to the point where I don't know what to turn to anymore. Any advice? I want to also go buy some "quit smoking" stuff from the store. But She can't chew gum, And i surely don't want to waste my $$$ on something that isn't going to help. Do you know any good producrs?
(link)
|
Well they also make a nicotene patch, but that too is very expensive. Your mom probably knows about them. I don't think she wants to quit, or she would have tried by now. I know what you are going through, my mom smoked also since she was 15, but she is not 82 and still smokes, and is fairly healthy. (she looks like hell though, nothing ages you more than smoking) SMoking is one of the most addictive substances known to man. My mom is a nervous smoker, I know that she will never be able to quite, and she complains about how expensive it is all the time. Go figure.
I don't live with her though, so I am not affected, I know what you mean by the smell. But now I don't let her smoke in front of me or my kids. She depends on me now, so if she wants my help she knows she cannot smoke in front of me. Some day you'll be able to say that, but probably not now.
My mom is in denial too, she won't admit that she is addicted. Sorry I couldn't be more help.
Good luck, and don't you ever start smoking, and when you do move out and get your own place, FROM DAY ONE, never let her smoke in your home, or your car, or in front of your kids, etc.
good luck
- Michele
|
|
My 16 year old son began using drugs about a year ago. After several groundings, I told him to either follow the rules or he would have to go live with his father (what I assumed to be the ultimate punishment...and that he would be back and ready to follow my rules withing a few days.) He has now been living with his father for two months and will not speak to me because I "kicked him out." I miss him. His father and I do not speak so I don't know if he's getting the help he needs. What should I do? (link)
|
You have to take an active role in finding out what your son is up to. Can you go to his school? Stop by where he works. You know him well enough, maybe when you see him, you'll see whether or not he is taking drugs or not. He may be sixteen, but if living with his dad is not keeping him out of trouble, then you have a right to get him back whether he likes it or not. This is not about being friends with your son, or getting him to like you. It is about making sure he grows up right, and doesn't make the kinds of mistakes that will follow him the rest of his life. You are on the right track with your thinking....now it is time for action. You have rights, You are the parent, and he is a minor.
Figure out a way to get him to talk to you. If he is mad at you, then he must miss you too. Think about it, you'll come up with something. Invite him to dinner at his favorite place. Call him up and don't say, come to dinner with me, Call and say I am picking you up at such and such a time, be ready, we are going to have a bite to eat. That's all, one dinner. He can tolerate you for one dinner. and he probably misses you too.
During the conversation, you have to acknowledge his anger. "I know you are mad at me, and I understand why". Then tell him your reasons. If they sound lame, or if you made mistake, then admit it. Kids really respond to parents when they admit they made a mistake. If you want him back home, then tell him the door is open. BUT there are still rules that he has to obey. He may miss you and his friends from that neighborhood enough that he may even be glad to stop taking drugs, just so he can come home.
Look you and his father don't speak. So what you have taught your son is: this is how we deal with problems, and unresolved issues. We don't talk about them, we ignore them and we ignore each other. So he is learning well. Time to change the way you handle things. No you don't have to talk to the ex, you have to talk to him. Corner him if you have to to get his attention, and just say. Let's get a pizza. Then be happy and smily and bright and talk about what you have been doing first, then ask him. Try to find out what about his dad may be annoying him. (you know theres got to be something!!) and get him to open up.
He is only 16, I think he misses you too.
Please make this happen.
- Michele
PS: Mother of two boys who doesn't talk to their dad either. Now 23 and 19, and we are close, but there have been times when we didn't talk, but things are great now. Good Luck to you.
|
|
I was raised by my moms parents. Mom had nothing really to do with me growing up. If she came it was only to borrow money or to eat. I tried just being nice to her but all she did was take. Borrow clothes without bringing them back. Borrow my child suport money and didnt pay back and so on. I'm now a happily married mother of 5 great kids. When mom was watching my daughter one weekend I called her to bring her back. She refused and instead brought my daughter and the cops with her to my inlaws house (where i was at). She fussed at me cause i had a job babysitting a neighbors 2 kids. There was no harm in it whatsoever. My daughter was right with me every day. She just didnt like it so started fussing at me and my hubby so bad. A cop brought me to the side that day and told me that if we dont stop arguing my daughter would be taken away from me. Also that I should quit my job so, I did.Since then I've had more kids and she plays favor to my oldest and now baby girls. She will not keep anybody but them. She will say tell... I'll make up there birthday. But she dont even come to there parties knowing when it is and all. My kids dont like her except at christmas she bribes them to be around her. other than that they get bored with her. I dont want me or the kids to be around her because of her attitude and all. She threatened that if I didnt let her see the kids she would take me to court. Far as I know there is no law stating i have to let her see them. I want her to leave us alone. Me and my kids are happy and well taken care of.Even the rest of my family agrees but can't get her to stop. My question is how do i keep her from seeing us with out getting the law involved? Thanks in advance (link)
|
You do NOT have to let your mother see any of your kids. You are their mother, their legal guardian. Could she take you to court, not without hiring a lawyer. Does she have any money? She'd have to have a good reason why she should be allowed to see them, and you would have as many good reasons why she should not. If she did go that route and hired a lawyer, probably the least she would get is supervised visits. Because her refusing to bring one of the kids home when she was supposed to, then threatening you, that would show the court that she does not have the kids best interest at heart. She sounds like a jerk and carries some guilt around for not being a good mom to you. Maybe she is trying to change and is trying to make up for it to your kids, but too bad, you don't have to let her make amends, and it sounds more like she doesn't really care about the kids.
How can you keep her from calling the cops when and even lying to them to get them to harras you and even try to get you arrested. Here is how.
Always keep your cool. Especially if she does get the cops involved.
Remind her every chance you get what a lousy mom she was, even in front of your kids, so maybe she will become to embarassed to show her face.
Don't use the kids as pawns between you and her. And don't let your guard down during the holidays just to be nice, or just so the kids can get extra gifts from her. Those gifts come with too high a price to pay. If you don't like a person, do not accept things from them, no matter how much you might want it. Everything comes with strings attached. And it is not a good lesson to teach your kids. When they get older, or as each of them gets old enough, you can tell them why your mother is not welcome in all your lives.
Always point out bad behavior to your kids so that they will learn what it is, and learn not to do it, or copy it, and tell them why.
Good luck to you.
Stay strong.
- Michele
|
|