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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
There's this girl that I am friends with and we seemed to have a really good relationship at first, but ever since she realized she can tell me anything (I'm really good at keeping secrets) she only tells me her problems. It seems like every time I see her she has some sort of depressing story and she always expects me to help her! I'm an advicenator myself, so I do give a lot of good advice, but she keeps pelting me with all of these things that really aren't that big of a deal, but she overreacts and gets really upset about them. Now I never want to be around her because I don't want to get sad, but I think she sort of needs me now and I don't know what to do! She gets upset about EVERYTHING, like if she sees the guy she has a crush on hugging another girl (hugging is a big thing at our school, everyone hugs everyone else) she will freak out and start crying and get really mad at that person and then just expect me to fix it! It seems like my best friend and I are just her counselors and that we are expected to change everything that goes wrong for her. We think she may actually need psychological help, but we have no idea how to say this because she will get really upset, and talking to her parents is not an option. Help! I'm posting this in the morning because I know there is another sob story at school waiting for me, and I'm hoping it'll be the last one!
First, you should put some distance between the two of you. You know, let her know that you will be there for her when she needs you. Just make sure that she knows this, and let her know that this is exactly what you need. If she's a good friend, she'll understand your predicament. And also, tell her to not focus upon the negativity in her life because if you only focus on the negative things in life, then all of the good stuff shall pass you by. So, if she gets too annoying, then tell her to just deal with it. It's life and it's hard sometimes. Ok, hope I was some help and see you later.
This guy that I really like in my senior class has been dating this girl who behind his back makes fun of him. He is so in love with her, he'll buy her a dozen roses for no occasion and bring them to school for her. I also heard he spent hundreds of dollars on a bracelet for her birthday. I know what she's been saying behind his back because she's in my french class. The other girls wanted to see her new bracelet and she just rolled her eyes and said "this is the THIRD one he's bought me"!. She is such a superficial bitch. She's also said she's only with him because his family has money. She's also a bigot, I've heard her making derogatory comments about homosexuals and african americans. I also heard she's cheating on him. I don't know what he sees in her. She is very popular and pretty, but has the personality and kindness of a dead squid. He would be heartbroken if he knew what she said about him and did behind his back. He is such a nice guy, I feel sorry for him. Should I tell him or just keep my mouth shut? Or, before I forget, HIS friends make fun of him behind his back for how hard he's fallen for her.
Yes, tell him. Don't tell him in a way that sort of says that you're sorry for him and that you're sugercoating what she's saying. But tell him. Please, at first say,"I'm not trying to get into your business or anything." Start it off like that and say,"but I thought I should tell you," then etc. Let it be that. Don't feel sorry for him and be direct. Don't say it slow. When you do that, then let it be over with. Think of it as business. You're going to him for business that needs to be settled quickly and direct. Don't hide it. Just tell him. If he gets an attitude, just leave. OH, and you might also want to point out the fact that you have no alterior motive by telling him this whatsoever.
Whenever i go shopping with my mom we always stumble across these REALLY cute jeans that I want her to try on. When she eventually does, she automatically says NO because they are too "trendy". My mom usually wear straight leg jeans which if you didn't know have absolutely no flare. My mom has a really big butt, so she looks ridiculous!! I told her nicely that these kinds of pants don't compliment her, but she just got mad at me. She's 41 and she thinks shes too old to look good in jeans. Can you give me some tips to convince my mom that she doesn't have to be young to look great?! Shes SOOO stubborn and sensitivE!!!!!
Tell your mom that just because she has some years on her, that that doesn't mean that she shouldn't feel sexy or look good. You know, all it really means is that she still has IT at the age that she is now. Tell her to look at celebreties such as Vivica A. Fox and the woman that played in the movie Unfaithful. Tell her that being sexy and beautiful at such an age is the new thing that is "in". But if she doesn't see it from this way, leave her be and let her pine. Some people are better off that way. You know, you can't force someone to want to look sexy for themselves. It's them and therefore it's their decision. So if she wants to wear clothes that you view as old fashioned, then let her because in the end, it her body after all.
13/f i feel soo bad my bf whos 13 is gettin me all this stuff i found out bi my friend and i dont have any money to realy get him anything he asked me to mesure mr rist size and i was okay w/e i thought it was goin to be 4 some tackey bracelett but no he took my bff sarah with him to a place like tiffanys to buy me a real dimond bracelett and he got me a wicked lott of there stuff but i dont have anything for him and i cant even goto the store bc i got like 4 feet of snow so im like screwed what can i give him would burnin a cd work helpppp and fast thatx illl rate the highest
Girl, you got it real good. HE LOVES YOU. Sorry, just felt like saying that. Ok, back to your problem. It doesn't matter about how much your gift is worth. Go home and really think from the heart what you want to provide for your man. Think of the "Cater 2u" song although you might hate it and that's understandable. Yet think about it that way. Serving him and what you think his needs are wisely. Just back him cup cakes, or get a card with chocolates, some sports, if you know someone in your family willing to give you like a jersey of his favorite team(sorry if I spelled it wrong.) Bake him something or make him something. The best gifts are, of course, from the heart.
I like my friend, she and I are best friends. She knows that I like her. Sometimes I feel so weird around her, I don't want to be. I am pretty sure nothing will ever happen between us, at least not anytime soon. So, I was wondering if any of you knew of a way that I could stop liking her like that. I'd rather have good friendship then some akward situation. So, if you have the cure, send me it.
15/m
Unfortunately, time is your cure that works better and beyond any other cure that others may prescribe you. While you're taking time, you will grow and you will change your thoughts and to you it might seem as if you haven't changed at all. But you will. And while you're taking the time, try going out on dates or courting others. Get in the game. Talk to others and don't ignore the girl that you like already, just be cool. Keep your cool. But try and get a little space. Don't completely separate yourself from her. That would be hurtful and crazy. Trust me, you will one day feel better. And try not to think about it as much as you do.
When a guy says "will you go out with me?"
What are you supposed to say? Just yes?
Were confused!
Thanks in advance!
Yes, you say,"yes." Or, "gladly." But stick to,"yes." It's much better.
After 3 years of dating my true love, she decided we needed some time apart to get our priorities straight. its going on 3 weeks, and not a day goes by without her calling me, we hang out from time to time, however, there is ovbiously no intimacy. I love her so much and I know she loves me cause she has told me. My question is, with valentines day comming up, iam not sure if i should get her the flowers and a present...I dont wanna look like im trying to push her into getting back with me, and at the same time i dont wanna look like i dont care about her if i dont give her anything...what should i do?
Get her the flowers and the present but when you get her the gifts, make sure that you let her know that you just wanted her to know that you still yet care. And that you agree and understand that she needs space and that you're extremely willing to give her just that. Make her understand that you care for her and respect her decisions.
Just wondering what you other girls may think.
In a guy, is it more attrative if he is shy and sweet. Or if hes confident and secure.
I think I find it more appealing if a guy is sweet and shy. Its adorable in my eyes, what do you think?
-Sara.
For me, I like both types. I like for a guy to be sweet, confident, shy, and secure. I don't want a guy that's not emotionally secure. I don't want a guy that isn't confident because I want someone with that essence. The essence which speaks strength both physically and most importantly, mentally. I do, however want someone that's sort of shy. I don't want them to be 100% shy, but I don't want them to have the kind of frankness that's arrogant. I want them to be shy, but I want them to state their feelings and thoughts.
I'm 15. And pretty dumb..Not at the point where i'm retarded, but at the point where i have to go to summer school. I really want to get my permit over summer & go to this driving school, but I have summer school(I already found out I need to take it..). And everything is going to be hectic. Plus I'm about to get a job(i know right, a job at 15...but I got the hook ups =]). And I might keep that job over summer too. And i can't take the driving lessons when i'm still in the school year, because things are very busy with homework and stuff. I seriously don't know what to do. So this is what I was thinking. I asked my counsler at my school about summer school & asked if I can do independent study for the classes that I failed, but she said she WOULDN'T RECOMMEND it because kids do really bad. So this is what I was thinking:
Take independent study over summer & do my driving school and then go to my job. I know that my counsler said she wouldn't recommend it, but it's not like i'm those other students.
If you guys can help me out a bit on what I should do, and how I should do it, that'll mean alot.
Also, what do you do for independent study over summer? I've heard of the word & knew you do things on your own, but what exactly is it? What goes on & stuff?
Thanks a bunch.
IF you want to go through with it, go through with it. But you better keep up and get the help that you need. Get the work done then and there. You know how it is, and you know how very important it is. No one else besides yourself knows this so let that mean very much of significance to you. However, I recommend that you attend Summer School. Summer School is so much more important than getting your liscense. I say this b/c at my school, if you fail summer school, you simply stay back the entire grade. There are no independent studying over the summer. It really is serious plus we pay $200-400 dollars. But if you KNOW that you can do it and that you will be a 100%competent, then go for it. And good luck.
I was at a restaurant having a couple of drinks with some friends of mine. Two of them were single, and the other were a married couple. I am also single. Well my one single friend asked me to talk about my uncle and his crazy wife for some entertainment. None of them know my uncle and wife, or have ever met them. They live in another state so I didnt feel bad making a joke about them. They ARE crazy (in my opinion). I wanted to make them laugh so I told them how last Xmas my uncle said infront of the whole family that if you saw his wife naked you would need therapy. Everyone laughed. Then I said in front of the group" well uncle jim if you hate your wife so much, why don't you divorce her"? His response was that he "couldnt afford it". Everyone at the table roared, everyone, that is except the husband of the married couple at the table. I think I'm the only one who noticed this, but his face actually went white and he looked like a deer had got caught in the headlights when I made the comment about asking my uncle why he wouldnt divorce his wife if he hated her so much. So my question is, was his reaction a sign that his marriage may be on the rocks? I've heard from my other friends that they have been fighting a lot.
I'll rate high!
Most likely, yes, their marriage maybe experiencing some trials. But it's THEIR MARRIAGE. You have/had NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR PROBLEMS. So don't worry about them. LET THEM WORRY ABOUT THEM AND THEIR TROUBLES. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but people get really #@$%$#@, you know, when you get into "THEIR BUSINESS." So, AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING TO YOU ABOUT THE JOKE, STAY OUT OF IT. Don't even approach him about the joke and his reaction to it. STAY OUT OF IT. Only do something when HE ASKS YOU or TELLS YOU SOMETHING. Let them handle their own problems. Trust me, getting involved in marrital problems is messy, most of the time dangerous, and @#$%$#%$#. So, do yourself a favor, and avoid it. Stay out of it.
I'm an 18 year old female. I lost my boyfriend, to be honest my fiance, last summer. It's been long enough that I know I should be able to accept that he's gone but I still wake up with an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just need some help, maybe another perspective on how to deal with this.
Well, to tell you the truth, there's not much I can do or say to you because I don't know perspective you used the last time. I need to know that so I can tell you where you went wrong on the situation. I can only infer this much to help you. So, here it is. You have to think about your values. Yes, you're probably saying what does values have to do with this. Well, values are your goals, your views, they're yours that you hold dear. I really think that you need to get back that connection to your soul, your heart, your body, and your mind. Now, I'm not talking about yoga or anything like that, but I'm saying that it's important to take the time and evaluate your life. Evaluate your desires - for they are so deeply apart of who you are and they sometimes influence who we come to be. Look at your heart, take the time out of your life to get to know YOU better. This does a whole lot. I know you may be thinking, I'm confident and I know my soul and heart's desire. Excellent. But when you experience something that deeply hurts you, you need that time for yourself to figure out what's best for you and who you want to be. And sometimes you have to figure it out alone and then you may want to be surrounded by others. My point is that you need that time to reconnect with yourself. That's very important. Get to know yourself better.
After that happens over some time, then ask yourself, what do you want in your life. It could be something that you're searching for. Perhaps a boyfriend, love, career, etc. Think about it, set a goal, and go for it. Doing things, like keeping yourself busy, is a good thing afterwards but don't overdo it b/c overdoing things may cause you to suppress your feelings and then you're back to where you started. Keep yourself busy and strive for what you want. I recommend writing down your feelings b/c that can be theraputic for you. Acknowledge and deal with each and every feeling: don't suppress it. Hope I was some help.
hey there! i know this may be a very common question, and i apologize greatly in advance....
There is this guy that I really like who is one year older than me,and have realized it after he seemed to have felt the same way for me too. He was always next to me, and whenever he's around (because his sister and I are friends) it gets incredibly awkward. What is contradictory is that on his profile, it says that he wants to meet his "special girl", and said that "this beautiful girl was on page 86", indicating the school yearbook. I soon found that he liked this girl, a senior. I don't understand... Why does he say that he likes this girl, but is always trying to sit next to me, and stares at me, but looks away? Should I just forget it?
I am a 15/f, and he is 16/male.
Girl, forget it. Better yet, forget him. My motto today is don't waste your time. Be nice to him still, look at him when only necessary, but move on. Let me tell you what you already know, GUYS ARE EXCELLENT FLIRTS. That's all he's doing. He's flirting. Now there may be signs that he's getting jealous when you stop the attention that you're paying him, but all he's doing is flirting. My friend and I did that for two years. We flirted, touched each other hands, and etc. He even got jealous when I stopped paying him attention. BUT, I took the time to realize that we're only friends and that he and I were a big flirt. So, that's probably what you're going through. Be considerate to him, flirt a little but know that it's not going to work out. That it's not meant to be. Get over it honey, I know he was believable. Trust me, they all are.
Hi, I am 15 and I will be 16 in March. My ex boyfriend broke up with me cause his parents were afraid he would get introuble with the law cause he is 19. We weren't doing anything sexual, is it still illegal to even date? I live in Michigan and I know the age for sex here is 16, but what about just dating?
Now he wants to wait till he moves out at the end of March or later to go back out. Cause he HAD to leave me or get kicked out of his house. Should I wait for him.. or move on? I really love him.. and he doesn't even know if we will ever get back together. I'm confused and heartbroken, any advice?
Try and talk to him and tell him that it isn't illegal in Michigan to just date someone. First, you may want to take the time and do a little research though. Get tbe documents if he wants proof that the law is true. But if he doesn't want to risk it, then you need to move on and get over him. Don't waste your time because time is a precious thing and you don't want to lose/waste it. Don't be his doormat. MOVE ON.
So I am pretty much head over heels for this guy. I made an an ass out of myself, but I told him he was a total hottie. I've been wayy too nervous to talk to him. Whats something that I can talk to him about? Sorry, this is kinda hard to put into words. He is friends with my neighboor and might come over this weekend. Any sugesstions of what I could do?
Thanks in advance.
All answers get a 5 =]
First of all, you're making the biggest mistake a girl/boy can make. You're getting way too caught up on how to please this guy. Honey, you have to be yourself. How's it going to look when you're trying to talk about something that doesn't pleases you at all. Something that you might not know a thing about. It's practically like trying to be something that you are not. So, I can't tell you what to talk about. I can only say be you, and don't be willing to lose yourself for this guy. Talk about what's important to you, find out what he likes, share your viewpoint about it, and just say what you feel. Do what you feel. Don't be nervous, be you. So often people forget to be themselves and I can tell that you like this guy so much. Do yourself and I a favor for him liking you and not someone that you're trying to be by talking about it. Talk about activities that you do. Basically, converse things that'll help you find out who he is.
im a teen. what are some popular websites (like myspace, tagged etc) that are like those? where you can meet new people and post pictures and stuff. thanks!!
You can go onto websites like bolt and blackplanet and post pictures and chat with people. I don't do it but I hear about them all the time everywhere I go and they are really popular.
Well ive had a crush on this real nice guy ad we talk alot and he told me about his ex who broke up with him twice in 2 weeks. I told her that I liked him cause she was going out with someone and she told me she was over the guy i liked and that we should go out...she gave me soo much hope. Then the nxt day she comes in and tells me that shes breaking up with her b/f and that she thinks the guy I like (her ex) thinks that she likes him again because she kept asking him who he liked. I was mad cause i trusted her but thats not it. The guy I like told me that she was telling people that she liked him again....Rite after I told herow i felt! Ughe everyone sais shes a slut cause shes gone out with everyone on our sports team!!!! Was she jus trying to screw me or is this a coincidence???? HELP ME.... he said all this bad stuff to me about her but now they are going back out!!! Shes "wooing" him!
Forget her. Just get to him before she does. You have to. Or when they break up this time, get to him quick and remind him of how betraying she is. Get him before she does. At least try.
Alrighty. So my junior year of college I developed a most excellent friendship with this guy, a senior, who we'll call Joe. Joe and I got really close and I asked him to my prom, and we were both on a band trip for a month that summer, so eventually we got together. Joe went to college 2 hours from home and we managed to make the long distance thing work for a while. As much as I loved Joe, he wasn't the greatest boyfriend... he rarely called/IMed/e-mailed, and I sent letters all the time, never to receive any back. I visited him a few times and he came home once or twice.
I thought we were doing ok til I went to visit March my senior year and he was really distant, and then in the beginning of April (this would be 2005) he dumped me over the phone, kinda out of the blue. I found a few things online and assumed he cheated on me, blah blah, we had a fight, and made up, and I know now he didn't cheat on me, and we still get along, which is good because we have a tight-knit group of friends who still hang out together on breaks.
So the problem with this is, I'm still having problems getting over him. We went out for pretty much a year and a half, and I know that I deserve better treatment and more attention than what I got... but it's difficult to hang out with him without thinking back to our relationship, and I often get super jealous of other girls I suspect he's interested in. I don't want to believe he's over me, but I know that I'm fooling myself, and I feel like a really pathetic person. I know there's no easy way to solve this, but any advice on how to "get over" him as more than just a friend would be appreciated.
Oh, my God, I used to ask so many questions like this until I actually got over the person I was liking myself. To get over a person, it takes time. But it also takes acceptance of something that you've been denying. You have to find that out, then you have to find out what interested you in this guy the first place. What did you see in him that you want from any other man that you may perhaps want to be with? Think about that. That's what I had to do. You have to accept that it was never meant to be between you and this guy, and that it was only your dream. Your want for the qualities that you like in him, and those qualities which you wanted in your future man. He may have been the messanger for what you really wanted not your actual Cassanova.Take those qualities that you saw in him, and the ones that you didn't like in him, and find someone better. Because in reality doll, you could do a lot better or worse than him. It'll take time. But time, you have.
Is there any possible way that you could get pregnant from dry sex?
Yes, because no matter what, if he ejaculated inside of you or near your personal area, then the sperm will absolutely swim and there comes the possibility of being pregnant. But to comfort you, 50 out of millions of sperm actually survives and whatever reaches the ovaries first is the one sperm that may perhaps cause pregnancy. This is b/c of the acidity level so let that be of some comfort to you.
Is there any possible way someone can graduate early?
You can become a graduating junior by doubling up on your classes, and to do this you have to talk to whoever modifies classes and guides you on a good course. Basically, talk to someone at your school who's able to help you become one. You could also skip a grade by taking a test that the state or your school district offers then see if you can double up, but make sure you get all of your credits though that are required for your state. That really is important.
My mom is one of the most stubborn unreasonable people I know, and it's easy to see that we don't get along. I played tennis last semster and I want to play badminton this semster, even though my PE credit was already fulfilled last year. However, my mom won't let me play badminton, because she thinks one sport a year is good enough and she thinks my grades will drop if I do play
Don't scream at her and be calm and rashional with her. Be cool. Tell her how getting involved in extra curricular activities, such as sports, is a benefit to your future education for college since they like active students. Then do your absolute best to assure her that your grades will not falter and that you will maintain a certain grade, her choice, that she wants you to meet. That is if you really want to take this after all.