Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30861
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hey,
Well basically one of my ultimate goals in life is to dance on stage in Londons West End. Partly because all the west end shows i've seen are AMAING and also because i love to dance.
I'm 15 years old. I went to dancing school from the ages 2-13 but gave it up due to school work.
Will I still be able to follow my dream? (link)
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As long as you can get the necessary training and are willing to work your butt off, sure. But you really gotta want it, not just dream about it or hope somebody will help you because they feel sorry for you. So make concrete plans about how you will achieve your goal and then go at it hammer and tongs.
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My ex is obsessive and I want to him to go far far away. I've told him "no contact," he just doesn't listen. How do I make him go away? (link)
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Completely cut him off. He calls, you don't answer. He texts you, no response. He says something to you act like he was never there. Short of obtaining a restraining order (and that will only be accorded for real harassment), this is all you can do.
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Is there something wrong with me?
I cant stay still for long (about 10-15 mins) before I have to change position and ill start movin my feet around or somethin. Especially in school when im in my lessons. Ill be sat there and ill just start moving my legs and feet and ill be messing with my hands or somethin, I get really uncomfortable. I also find it really hard to concentrate. I try telling myself that Ill concentrate this lesson, we get ten minutes in and im daydreaming. I tune out and when I come back to earth i wont've heard a word the teacher said. I also get bored really easily and this is also a slight problem in my relationship. I feel really selfish because I wont be able to keep makin out or anything because Ill get bored if its not got my excited or got me really into it. If I am at home and told to do somethin Ill try to put it off, Im a very disorganized person and Im hopeless for planning in advance. I also get naffed off about things easily but I can keep that in my head and ill get upset over tiny little things or whatever. If im not doin somethin I like ill just get bored and not want to do it or ill get distracted and do something else which will lead me to getting told off. I really do try to concentrate on things but it just feels boring unless im doing something I like to do. I know I probably just sound like any average teen but I look around and everyone else is managing to keep up. Ill end up tryin to talk to a friend when they are busy or working which will again get me told off. Im also really loud and I don't even notice, ive been told that im being to loud when im talkin when i get really into it and i dont even notice how loud im being, ill also end up annoying people without me realising. Ive also been told im childish and to grow-up but i cant, i really cant help it.
Sorry this question was so long. But I just want to know what might be wrong with me..
Thanks,
F/15 (link)
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You're just an intense dude and because you're an adolescent you are also very insecure and rather present oriented. I'm actually kind of like you in that I get bored easily, can be rather fidgety and I start climbing the walls unless I have near constant intellectual stimulation. I am in my 50's.
So none of the stuff you are pointing out about yourself is particularly rare. The main thing you need to do is just realize that the crap that happens in high school ain't gonna mean much in the grand scheme of things, so no need to get dragged into any drama. Relax, don't overthink yourself into an emotional pretzel and don't get overwhelmed by a teenager's native insecurity. No matter how cool you may think others look they also have their doubts. In fact, it is fairly common for high achievers to often feel like frauds even when they are kicking ass at what they do because they know that they have limitations like everyone else.
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Ok so,I'll be going to middle school soon and there's a boy there that dated in elementry school.I was in 4th grade and he was in 5th.At the end of the shool year last year I gave him my number but he never call.I was wondering how I should act when I see him?Should I ignore him,be angry at him,or just act like nothing's happened?Please tell me what I should do!!!
P.S. I'm a girl (link)
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Relax and let him just come to you.
The other thing you have to recognize is that because you guys are at ages where you are still developing rapidly, your thinking and attitudes are still evolving. Also, your insecurity usually begins to deepen, too. But you also have to recognize that any relationship you have in junior high or high school, even with friends, is likely to ultimately not amount to much. People move away for various reasons (work, college, economic circumstances), their interests and sensibility heads in a different direction, it's all a part of life.
For someone your age it is important that you just relax, don't overthink things and take the long view. Also remember that you are the only one who can live your life and determine what makes you happy, so be in control of your life and keep moving forward.
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I work hard,I do what i have to do and its done right if i dont know how to do something i will learn. (link)
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Good luck! Try to save at least 20% of the money you earn each time. It's never too early to start preparing for retirement.
For a kid your age, you can mow people's lawns and, if you live in a place where it snows, offer to shovel driveways. A little physical labor builds strong bodies and you may even meet some people who can really help you once you graduate from college.
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He is married with 3kids and he is having problem with his wife but wants me and i love him what should i do? (link)
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You're just a piece on the side, no matter what he's telling you. There is something, likely sex, you are providing him that his wife isn't. The only things you can hope for is that by being low maintenance, laidback and very sexually available he will see you as a diametric opposite from his wife.
It definitely isn't unheard of for guys to marry their mistresses, but you also have to realize that there is HUGE difference between dating someone and living with them. The dynamic of the relationship changes completely when your partner is there 24/7 and you have to run a household together.
Moreover, part of the high for you in this is that you are winning the competition with another women by taking him away from his wife. This is why married men often do well in singles bars. There are even unmarried guys who wear wedding bands to attract women who bolster their own sense of self worth by undermining the relationship of another women. Once she is out of the picture entirely, though, the same jolt of excitement ain't gonna be there anymore. Things will become much more mundane.
My advice, then, is that a mentally healthy, self confident woman doesn't need to piggyback on the misery of another woman in order to feel good about herself, so you need to walk away from the relationship and do some introspection.
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This is really random but..
I always find a way to be attracted to the crazy characters in movies and I don't know why.. I find them attractive Lol
Why is this? Like, I like the fact that their not sane ;D (link)
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Because your real life is boring? Or the guys around you are tedious to be with? It's really tough to see you from my house, but I wouldn't overthink this as long as you have more discretion in your real life.
The one warning bell about this would be if you have a chaotic home life (lots of drama in the house, parents who are perhaps kinda nutty or drug addicts, etc) since women often repeat in their intimate lives their relationship with their parents, especially the father. The reason is that people tend to go for what they know even if it is completely counterproductive. If your home life isn't chaotic, though, then no worries.
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I really like this girl, but she doesn't like me. She likes one of my best friends.And were graduating soon ,but she's going to a different school from me and i won't be able to see her anymore. I only have until June 10 left. Should I just give up liking her? Please help! (link)
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You can't always get what you want, dude. Just let her go and deal with it. Your chances of her ending up as your marriage partner are dubious anyway.
The thing you will learn is that sometimes rejection is the best thing that can happen to you. Why? Because it closes one door and forces you to see what is behind the others and often what is on the other side of those other entrances is something better.
One other thing: never get heavily invested in a girl at your age. Date around, live life, find out what you actually like because you still aren't grown up yet anyway. By the time you reach age 25, you are going to find yourself changing your views about things, occasionally radically. Therefore, glomming onto and getting obsessed over one chick not only makes you look needy and desperate, two things no chick finds attractive, but you miss other opportunities as a result.
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My freshman year in college I got pregnant and end up having an abortion. I don't really have any regrets about the abortion because I felt it was the right choice for me. When I told the guy about it he agreed with the abortion so there wasn't really any hesitation, but anyone, me and this guy were not dating and I chose not to ever have anything to do with him, such as cutting all ties and communication with this guy. Two years have passed and I'm old enough to realize that it was silly to not speak to him when I see him occasionally. I've also realized I need closure because we've never spoke about what happen and I feel like I just need to have a conversation with him about it. I don't hate the guy or anything, I see it as the past and to move on in the future. So recently we've been talking to each other but haven't gotten the chance to talk face to face. I feel like I'm stirring up my past, and I have these feelings for him but I'm telling myself I shouldn't! First off, he only texts me when he has the time or want me to come by late after hours and I just don't like that, especially the after 10pm text (booty call). So we're suppose to get together this weekend but I'm not sure if I should or not!?? Help!! Need advice! (link)
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You're going to have to make a firm decision about this. He wants you to be with him sexually for sure. If you aren't up for that then don't do it. This is why when I end a relationship I REALLY END IT. No contact with her again ever. No need to pick up old baggage again.
About talking the abortion over with him: why? You would do it to get your ya ya's out, but he would react rather differently to it by maybe feeling guilt tripped. Please just leave that bit out and talk about it to one of your girlfriends instead.
I can understand all the mixed feelings you're having. Those are normal. You're obviously a mature and thoughtful person and will make a good mate for someone in the future. But I also feel that you are allowing your progress through life to be somewhat slowed by living in the past here.
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Hi.
Okay my amazing boyfriend has been away on a hockey tournament that is down the other end of the country. (Oh I live in New Zealand. He is down in Dunedin in the South Island and i'm in the Waikato area in the North Island).Anyways he has been away for 7 day and is coming home in 2 days. I want to do something to show him how much I missed him and really love him. He means everything yo me =).
Sorry it's kinda long.
Please help!
thanks =) (link)
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Just be affectionate with him. How about making dinner for him, too?
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I have been suicidal since I was 13yrs and now i'm 30 and still suicidal. my mom got married and went to live with her husband and they had kids.i was left under the care of my gran and aunts who pretended to love me.i'm now working and have been diagnosed with endometriosis. i wanted to have a family but seemingly i cant find the right guy and my family doesnt give a damn about me and i cant even have children.i'm so tired of being hopeful and trying new relationships and its always the same results,those ppl eventually leave me. i've read all the selfhelp books one can think of and the bible, asked Gid for help but things always go wrong for me.i'm not happy at work,i cant study anymore. i feel like ending it all right now.i've hopeful and optimistic for a long time now, so i need a quick amd easy way to kill myself and make the death look so natural, so that my insurances can payout. (link)
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There is a lot going on here. The best thing for you is to see a qualified therapist. Nobody here is going to give you a magic bullet solution for the mixture of emotions you feel. A therapist can help you talk it all out and lend you some constructive perspective on it.
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I have a male friend I've known all my life we grew up together. I have had a crush on him since I was 14 but not much happen because ended up moving away from each other. Now we are back in each others lives like in the old days. But whenever we are around it feels a little weird. I know I have a hard time talking to him because I like him and I'm trying hard to impress him and I dont know what to say or do when I'm around him. But it seems like he has a hard time talking to me too but hes not a shy person. He is very out going and social. So I was wondering why he is this way towards. I feel some sort of tension. I want to know how to make things more comfortable between us. What should I do? (link)
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There are two things going on here:
1. He is picking up on your nervousness around him, which has only furthered the insecurity he may be feeling.
2. He is clamming up because he doesn't want to day anything idiotic and turn you off.
Solution: Next time you meet him just start touching him and tell him how much you like being around him. If you are sitting next to him, put your head on his shoulder. You can also have a friend approach him about whether he thinks you're relationship material.
I think he does want to be with you but doesn't want to risk turning you off by coming out and saying so. You're just going to have to be more aggressive than you have been until now.
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what shall i do my problems has been increasing dy by day i loved a person and another person loves me and i couldn't tell him because he is very sensitive and now my brother law and my cousins are threatening me that ill tell everything and close the issue and i love my dad a lot, i went on tour for one day he has mat exam and we did nothing like that, i stayed completely in my sisters home itself we went by train sleeper coach and came by train where hundreds can see us. and i promise on my dad i have just started my carrier and i wanna become IAS if my issue comes to my dads notice everything gets spoiled my carrier and my life too what shall i did i cant tell my pain to anybody i'm dying daily thats why i wanna die completely. and there is no one to help me out. if you can help me .by your suggestions. (link)
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That was utterly unintelligible.
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I have been practicing voodoo for quiet a while, about 4 years now, and i know that all of my friends know about my spirituality. but there are a lot of stupid people were i live. Even though i have a lot of friends, and they all know, some of them are kinda nervous to be around me, because some people said that i was going to hex them or some nonsense like that.
i knwo i should explain my faith, but i just dont when the best time is, or if i even should at all
(link)
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Human beings are insecure and fearful, especially when it comes to the question of death. That is why they come up with garbage like religion to comfort them. People are also herd animals and tend to be nervous about anything their immediate circle isn't into because it carries them out of their comfort zone. So just look at it as their problem and not yours. Because it is.
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17/f Long story short I caught my boyfriend texting his ex a girl he choose over me in the past calling her baby & all this stuff , I broke up with him though we have been seeing eachother everyday as usual , I haven't had sex with him until today and he ask's me back out . He's cheated on me like 3 times in one year and is mean and yells at me a lot and I feel like id be much better without him but I love him so much and feel like id die without him . Idk I told him yes and now we are back together, but I have a feeling this will happen again . Am I wrong for giving him another chance ? Idk if I'm right or wrong ,i promised my friends we wouldn't get back together as I had in the past and always let them down , I know they're going to be mad at me.. (link)
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Basically, he has emotionally abandoned you and you keep coming back for more. So let me ask you this: is your father present in your life both physically (in other words, is he there for you) and emotionally? Because women often tend to repeat their relationships with their fathers in who they select as dating partners.
You also probably secretly like being the victim in this since victims get tons of attention and sympathy from those around them.
Your friends are, for good reason, obviously fed up with you emotionally vampiring them by complaining about the guy incessantly and are irritated that you refuse to take the bull by the horns and permanently punt the sucker out of your life. So it is up to you to end the vicious and, for your friends, annoying, cycle. If you don't, then don't complain about it.
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Okay here's the deal. I've been good friends with someone for a long while. Let's call this friend "Mr Red". We're fairly close and have been through quite a bit together. our friendship is still strong and tight, and we've got a lot in common, and many mutual friends.
A few months ago, I met someone, let's call her "Miss Blue", whom I am not involved with in a serious relationship. The circumstances of meeting her will be a little odd, so bear with me.
I first heard of her when Red was ranting about something she did. Apparently, Mr Red seriously dislikes her and wants nothing to do with Miss Blue. This is not new, and in fact.. the rest of the clique dislikes her as well. I've always been the person who really doesn't like to follow along with crowd decisions of that type.. since I used to be ostracized in grade school often. I remember what it feels like, so I try to give everyone a chance
When I actually met Miss Blue, it developed into an attraction, and now we're involved. Obviously, this has caused some rifts
To be clear, Miss Blue has never asked me to choose between her or them. None of the group including Mr Red has ever pressured me about my relationship with her. They accept it, and respect it, but most do not approve of it.
The biggest problem is that I am unable to include my significant other in my activities with them in most cases, since Mr Red is often around. Mr Red usually just refuses to hang out with me if she's already there, and leaves quickly if she shows up later.
Miss Blue is both hurt and upset by this behavior, and rightfully feels ostracized and left out. She feels very guilty that I need to take time out for her and away from Mr Red and the group. If I'm not caught up in something important, like just hanging out with the group, I often go see her.. which she feels guilty about me having to do.
She wants to be included, but also feels bad that I have to separate my time with her and them.
As for her and Red... she has tried multiple times to work things out with him, but he is simply stone faced about it. He's said in response every time that he doesn't believe her apologies and doesn't want to hear it. He wants her to leave him alone.
They have never been romantically involved.
My question is about how best to handle my place in this. Even with careful separation of my time between the two, she still feels terrible, and I feel like maybe I should be doing something more. (link)
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Dude, everybody has a different sensibility and so not everyone is going to get along. It can make things nettlesome at times, but one must just be resigned to that fact.
The question for you, then, is one of priorities. Is the relationship with Mr. Red more important to you, both in the short term and in the way of long term prospects, than the one with your girlfriend? Does she represent something of the forbidden fruit to you because of your mates' disapproval? Or is she something that you've always wanted and needed in your life? You have to make a decision as to who, then, you will prioritize. I must say I do feel for your lady.
I personally can't blame Mr. Red for his behavior toward her since people are what they are. So by making priorities you can send the message to your girlfriend that she is paramount in her life, which will make the sting of her being unpopular with your mates a little easier to swallow and just have occasional guys night out as a result. Certainly, if you get married, the guys night out will become more the rule than the exception anyway. It just depends on what you want out of your life.
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Well, all of my friends at dances or just in recess always tease the guys. Like, OOH THE WAY YOU SWING FROM BAR TO BAR JUST TURNS ME ON! and they stick their butt out. So like, tease flirting. But the guys always get turned on.. and well i dunno how to do that. i always feel awkward, like not confident enough to do it. Like they might say ew,and reject me even if i'm teasing. and even if i get over it, wont it be weird if all of the sudden i get a boost of confidence, and they notice? (i'm 12 in 7th grade, AND NO THATS NOT TOO YOUNG) (link)
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Just be yourself because you can't be anyone else. Also, you're rather young to be obsessing over what turns guys on. So relax and don't worry about it.
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Hello, I am 18 years old and have graduated highschool.
I am a virgin still. And am dating this guy for 3 months now. My question is, is it too soon to be fingered/hand job in your opinion. I have done this before but with a guy I was in a relationship with for a year. I want to do it, I mean it's not like im going to have sex or go further but i also sort of feel a tad sad for my mom because we are so close and i feel she would be dissapointed in me. :/
(link)
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There is nothing wrong with being fingered. No, you aren't going to get an STD from it unless he has herpes on his hand, which is extremely unlikely (like almost unheard of). God, it's amazing some of the disinformation some idiots will spread about sex.
Not to mention that you're 18. You're legally entitled to make your own decisions and you have to do what makes YOU happy. Don't live your life for your parents or your friends or whatever, live it for yourself! Life is too short. Just make sure that whatever you do you do it in such a way as to keep all of your future options open to you.
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My Ex and I fight ALLLL the time, even though we've been apart for a year now. While we were dating he treated me horribly... he would yell and curse me out, and force me into sexual stuff, like physically force. and we also fought all the time. Now, it's gotten to be just stupid. He only causes drama for me and I can't stand it... I try to avoid hanging out with him or texting him or any of that stuff. But even when I do that he still manages to cause problems. His current girlfriend has been spreading all kinds of stuff about me like that I offered to hook up with him and stuff a week ago when I absoultely did not... She's angry because he keeps calling her my name... and she thinks he's like cheating on her with me. And we don't even talk to eachother! Except for in studyhall. I have this dumb teacher that will not let me switch seats with anyone (I'm assigned next to a seat with my ex) even though the teacher is like never in the room! And since school is almost over, it's too late to switch classes. Last week in class my ex was trying to get me to argue with him cause he loves to start fights and I wasn't responding to him and he slapped me... the teacher wasn't around and I was too scared to say anything when he came back in. He didn't hit me incredibly hard but it really hurt and it was across the face. My boyfriend now wants to beat the shit of this kid... he has literally done nothing but cause problems for me. And it's almost summber so it would do no good to talk to the school because I know he's still going to be a problem this summer. Can anybody give me any advice??? (link)
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The slap was assault and you can have him criminally prosecuted for it. There are witnesses. You can also have a restraining order filed against him. He is obviously a sociopath and you need to avoid him. He also committed a rape against you in one of the earlier incidents, so that makes it especially incumbent upon you to go to the police about this latest incident.
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Me: 13 (almost fourteen)
Him: 14
Both in the eighth grade
Today, I finally took a stand for myself. My best friend (who is a guy)had jokingly called me a bitch for the past three weeks, and he treats me like nothing. So I finally told him that, and he called me dramatic and won't talk to me. He's now running off with girls that he knows don't like me, just to make me jealous. I really want to keep being his friend, but I really don't know. I
Help? (link)
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Ah yes, girls always love the guys that treat them like crap and he is using women's natural competitiveness with each other as an additional tool to drive home how much you allow him to get away with.
Also, any relationship you have with him down the road is likely to not result in anything that long term or even satisfying, so you don't actually have to get all that invested in having him part of your circle.
You can just start ignoring him or tell him to piss off or put up with his crap. It's up to you. Just don't come to us complaining about him if you choose to rekindle your association with him. You have to take responsibility for your own decisions. Take control of your life!
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