A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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I am a 39 year old male and have been happily married for almost 9 years. My wife and I are soul mates and love each other deeply. In the past 2 years I have had erectile disfunction and our sex life is not what it used to be. I cannot perform very well. I have the sex drive, but my equipment doesn't seem to work. I have tried Viagra and others like it to no avail. My wife never complains, but I know she is missing out because I can never penetrate her. We have talked about engaging in other couples. I have mixed feelings about it. It is kind of exciting but I don't know about my feelings of sharing my wife. We have never considered doing anything like this before. We do everything together and this would be done together or not at all. Is this a road we should take? Please help. (link)
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You gave Rahzie a 3, but she's right. Seriously.
Sex therapy is the end all answer to your question.
Could this help your relationship? Absolutely. It is not uncommon for securely attached couples to expand sexual horizons. The barriers are trust and jealousy, and no one on the internet is in a position to gauge your relationships abilities to cope with an increase or decrease in either.
Now that it's come up, you have to talk about it, and there's alot to consider. You probably don't realize exactly how much. Respect is paramount. Everyone involved must respect their partners and each other.
That's where a sex therapist comes in. They are experienced and learned in issues like radical intimacy and the changes in marriage and sex at your age.
I can understand your misgivings. We can't tell you if you'll resent it, if you'll feel jealous or if you'll feel more open and free with each other. Those are questions you need to take time to find the answer to. I think, that if it is something you are both willing to consider, that it's worth pursuing seriously. I do not think you should ever at any point feel committed to it or like it is an obligation against your will.
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18 years old female.
i like this boy. weve hooked up before, we actually went pretty far- ive given him head twice.
this past summer i thought wed be hooking up- but it turns out he didnt want to, for some "unknown reason".
but then at the very last day of summer we ended up hooking up,
he went away for this year but he just came back recently so i texted him. we were flirting and he was beig really nice saying well chill this summer and stuff.
the convvo died eventullaly tho.
im almost positive he knows i really like him but im not sure hes into me as much
what do i do? i want to hang out with him. do i just wait for him to text me since now i know hes home and has my number again and knows im avaiable?
i jsut want to get the boy.
-thanks! (link)
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God. What are you kids learning these days.
Sex sex sex. It's all about sex. Girls these days are retarded, why did the ones I went to high school with have to mostly know that if you want a guy to like you you don't put out easily...
I remember the day when you had to earn it, and being a senior and a virgin wasn't exactly uncommon.
In short, it's probably hopeless. Even if this is a good guy, he's probably too young to have realized it yet and is still casually screwing around because it's there and it's throwing itself at him. (Itself being your vagina. And yes I know you haven't had sex, it's a metaphor for your sexuality)
Boys learn by effort. That which must be worked for has value. That which is handed to you on a silver platter is insignificant. This is how every single man in the world who isn't gay works. Gay guys have a different mechanic, because they're all guys and they all want to fuck something, regardless of other emotional needs.
In more practical terms, if you put out quickly you'll get no respect. Period. By "putting out quickly" I mean engaging in sexual behavior before you've spent any real time getting to know each other, and before you've established the mutual desire to date each other.
"Hooking up" is something that college kids who want to get drunk and wake up having gotten laid the next day do. It's an adult choice to fuck a stranger knowing full well you won't regret it enough the next day to not do it again the next weekend.
Then kids got ahold of it and changed it to "casual intimacy of any sort" and everything's all fucked up now. You're all idiots, we never used hooking up as a way to get with someone you wanted to date. Hooking up is about getting your rocks off, end of story.
And until you're old enough to have experienced relationships for yourself, to be able to know that you don't want a relationship because you've been in a decent one to know the difference, you don't need to be hooking up. It distorts your entire perception about male-female interactions.
Casual sex is not the basis for adult relationships, and the adults who engage in casual sex know and understand this. You're mixing everything in together and it's why you're on the internet upset and feeling rejected.
Someone steered you wrong.
I get that alot of your friends and others you know probably do it. Just because it's common doesn't make it smart.
Give up. Find a new guy. Flirt with him, get him to ask you out, get to know him. Relate to him as a human being that you like, who likes you, before you let him touch anything remotely intimate on you. It's really not that hard, you can mange it in a few dates, usually a month or two tops.
And if all a guy want's is sex, throw him back. He's runty and immature, and needs a little rejection to teach him not to be a dog panting after pussy.
Somewhere along the way women started forgetting to teach their daughters that men have to be trained.
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My daughter is almost 5 years old, and is not being invited to a friends birthday party. The friend lives a few doors away from us and is one year older than our daughter. They play together often, but are not best buddies. My wife and the neighbours wife are good friends from college days and keep in touch since we live so close. The neighbours daughter is having her 6th birthday party in a couple of weeks, but her mother is not inviting our daughter - only kids from her daughter's kindergarden class. The neighbour told my wife there will be too many kids (6) at the party, but the two girls can get together at another time and do something 'special'.
My daughter will be disappointed to hear she will not be invited to the neighbour's birthday party. The reason the neighbour gave my wife about not inviting our daughter is because their house is not very big.
My daughter's birthday is coming up next month and has always had the neighbours daughter at her birthday parties
How do I tell my daughter she is not invited to her friends birthday party, when she will be inviting her friend next month? (link)
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Honestly, the bigger a deal you make it the bigger a deal your daughter will take it as. She's too young to not take huge clues from you still.
Play it off. It's not a big deal. If you think she's old enough to get the humor, joke with her about how 6 kids her age can tear a house apart and there just wasn't room for a seventh, tell her that they were afraid if they stuffed one more kid in there the walls would crumble.
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Basically, I've been going out with my boyfriend for 4 months now. He's 16 and I'm 14, so hes leaving school soon.
Im just really worried about him leaving. Going to college, meeting other girls, possibly moving on. :(
it really stresses me out thinking about it, cos I really am in love with him. Obviously because im young people will think it's stupid for me to think I'm in love :/
but to be honest only i know how I feel and I don't want to ditch all my friends for him but i cant really help it? :S
I love spending time with him and he says he wants to be with me forever. (link)
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First love is always somewhat hard to let go of.
If your relationship is strong, it'll last. If it's not strong, that's not really a bad thing. You're both kids, it's too early to take things so seriously. Worry less about forever and more about enjoying now.
Honestly, you're both eventually likely to be curious about other people. It's hard to describe, but as you mature you change, it's not like you wake up one day and feel like an adult, but you do eventually begin to try yourself out against the world. If you tie yourself down too early, later there will be questions of what could have been, what you could have seen, done, and where you would have ended up if you hadn't had your life attached to this other person from such a young age.
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In your opinion do you think a 15 year old girl and a 16 year old boy have a long distance relationship? Do you think it would be worth it or not?
Thanks! (link)
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Not.
Part of relationships is about learning, about adapting to have someone else in your life, and learning to deal with someone else's flaws while they learn to deal with yours.
This is entirely absent from distance relationships. It's all the validation with none of the real substance, and none of the fun. It's also far easier than a real relationship. Compromise is easy when it's nothing but words.
You're young. And more than likely, even if this guy were close he'd only be a chapter or two of your life. Move on, someone else will fall in. If they don't, you're spending too much of your life online and not enough out in the world. Life is outside. Go live it.
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A question to those who are religious.
Christians?
Jesus believers.
Why does your religion believe that Witchcraft is wrong? Why do you seem to think that Witches gain their power and energies from hell?
Most Witchcraft doesn't even have anything to do with heaven or hell...?
(link)
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Catholicism.
The entire point of Catholicism is that Christ's Church is the only path to salvation. It's the foundation of their power on earth.
Paganism and many other forms of beliefs in the past emphasized individual spirituality. Where Christianity points to a man in the sky Paganism and by extension what's now known as "witchcraft" were a worship of the very world around us.
And if you can attain spirituality by communing with nature or spirits which are believed to be present on earth, what need do you have for a power structure that tells you what you're supposed to believe and how you're supposed to go about exercising those beliefs?
It's all about control. Nothing but control. Paganism and Witchcraft, as with Buddhism and a number of other faiths, runs counter to the big three religions in that they place the power and control of your spirituality in your own hands.
Now, I'm sure you can understand how dangerous ideas like these were to a group that wanted to tell people that as part of their spirituality and devotion to their beliefs they had to tithe 10% of their income to the church. Anything that interferes with blind obedience is considered a threat.
It also has to do with the subjugation of women and the demonization of sex. The most famous witch related incident in America is the Salem Witch Trials, but these were just patterned on earlier atrocities that were focused almost entirely on women.
You see, a major pagan belief was that through sexuality one could be closer to God, or Nature, or whatever specific sect of paganism your beliefs arose from. Thus, the union of Man and Woman was divine, worshiped, and a conduit to God.
Now, what do we remember from earlier? The Catholic church wanted to be the sole conduit to God, and based their power and authority on this one fact.
So they systematically begin to exterminate intelligent women and began a campaign to turn sex into the devil's tool for infiltrating your soul. The "witch burnings" you've heard so much about was in truth not even really focused on "witches". The "witches" were mostly educated and liberated women, and the burnings were held to try to destabilize the natural equality of roles that existed at the time. Virtually all of paganism fell into this and so the pagan symbols began to be associated with and decried as demonic.
How else do you think the pentagram ended up being a symbol of satanic worship? Because the Catholics told everyone it was, and killed dissenters who were educated enough to know the truth.
The bible references witches several times, but if we study historical evidence, the world did not "turn against witchcraft" until well after the birth of Christ, where the bible would have you believe that "witchcraft of the devil" was always a problem.
The truth is, Christians and Pagans lived side by side for a few hundred years before the Church of Peter began making moves towards world domination.
At this point, it's mostly just lingering prejudice and unthinking stupidity. My father had issues with the Harry Potter books when they were coming out, and vocally objected to my mother and I reading them (I was in high school when I came across them)
His reasoning was just "witchcraft isn't right and it's not something you should glorify in a story"
He was so sure that Harry Potter was dark and demonic that he refused to read the first book to be proven wrong.
There's no logic, there's no reasons, there's just blind stupidity passed down generation to generation. Prejudices that are as old as sexism and just as dumb.
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My brother got busted by the police for the first time approximately 4 weeks ago. He called from the hospital telling us he had to get a blood test to see if he was high or under the influence. We just got the papers today that he should find a lawyer, he is in for three charges, under the influence, drug paraphernalia and window screening (which is the tinting on the person's car he was driving, I don't know what that is but that was one of his charges). Now, since all of this happened and we got all the papers, I believe my brother is in the most trouble because he wasn't even driving his car, he was driving his friends who was in the back seat of the vehicle when they were pulled over. They searched the car and searched each person, they took them in handcuffs, I can't even imagine seeing that. Anyways, now I'm rambling, my point is, what's in store for my brother? For court and everything? Thanks. He is 18 and again, this is his first time getting caught. (link)
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Your brother needs to lawyer up. Find a criminal defense attourney and talk to him.
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Did you all know that prank phone calls are illegal???I didnt and i made a call last week and unfortunately it was a LAWYER!!!Im in deep shit and he is pressing charges and i could go to Y.D.C. and im hoping to god that he drops the charges otherwise im FUCKED!!!but i could really use some tips to hepl me out in my case to calm the lawyer down so i dont get in as deep as i am right now. (link)
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Wow. Really?
You're being reverse-pranked. Consider your lesson learned and block his number. The cops are not going to give the slightest shit about this, and he cannot sue you in civil court over a prank call.
Don't screw with people if you're not smart enough to stop them from screwing with you back.
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the other day i was beat by my dad so bad im 16 and a guy but i can't stand up to him. he punched me in the nose once an threatened to kill me so i took a shotgun an put it to his head an told him to back the f*** off. i thought i made the point clear to him but the next day he had iron knuckles with him an nailed me in the forehead. im lucky i barely felt it i guess over the years ive become almost immune to pain. but i dont know what to do to have him stop without cops or foster care getttin involved i luv him to much even tho he busted my lip and my forehead open. luckily im ok i dont feel dazed or nothin from the hit. im lucky i moved backwards with the punch so it didnt get me bad just a lil blood. but if i hadnt moved i could probly be dead rite now........... any advice would be helpful............ but toher than my dad i have a goood good life an grl im a QB for my highskool and i make straight A's.... i need sum help plz (link)
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You need to get out of there.
I'm going to put this as frankly as I can. In a situation like yours, there's only so much you can take. Period. Everyone has limits, exhaustion, and you do not need to push yourself to your limits right now.
You're 16, you're not supposed to be learning how to deal with a parent who takes his shit out on you and threatens you. You're supposed to be worrying about school, the team, that girl, and where your next tank of gas is coming from, and that's about it.
This is going to affect your life for years to come. And every year you sit by, is probably another five you're going to hate yourself for it later.
Start with a school counselor. They're free and the closest thing you've got to an adult friend who's on your side.
Do it now. The longer you wait, the worse off you're going to be. As someone who didn't ever stand up, didn't ever say anything, and didn't stop what you have the ability to stop, don't go down that road.
Love isn't worth it. Love won't be there in 5 years. Family isn't worth it either. The truth is that family is what you make of it, it can be your lifeline and light in the dark, or it can be the darkness itself.
As someone who's life has steadily improved every month my parents have not been in it, go to a counselor, and start exploring your options.
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16/f
A couple of months ago i slept with a mate of mine, after we did it he stopped talking to me for a couple of weeks when we were at school.
He got expelled. We started talking again, when he said he loved me. But then out of the blue he gets a girlfriend. I know its wrong but he asks to sleep with me and i agree, even though i know i am the second girl. Its asthough i cannot say no to him. i love him. what should i do? (link)
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Be less of an idiot? Stop sleeping with a guy who lied to you?
Seriously? He sounds like a gem. Expelled, profession of live, other girlfriend (and you aren't even girl 1 here).
He lied to you and you believed it because you wanted to. Something inside of you is a bit broken, and you ran into his arms seeking affection and validation.
Maybe pay more attention next time? If you're going to let someone use you, at least let it be someone decent.
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Every time i sleep with my bf, he hurts me, although i do not tell him this. he pulls at my hair and slaps me to the point im in pain and in the past he has pulled my back out. How do i go about this without hurting his feelings? (link)
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Tell him to fucking cut it out?
I don't understand why you don't speak up. If something hurts, you say so. His emotional pain is less important than direct physical pain.
You are not ready for sex. I don't care if you're in your 50s, you still haven't grown up. If you're under 20, stop having sex and stop dating this asshole.
He's using you for his own enjoyment. You either have to be the biggest idiot imaginable, or you have to not care, to fly past your partner being in pain and having her back thrown out.
Slapping? What the fuck do you think your life is? Stop treating yourself like a fuckdoll who's supposed to please her boyfriend and start acting like a human being who has a right to her own comfort and enjoyment of life.
Christ.
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im 14/f and have a male friend who is "emo" he cuts the lot, but deep down i think he is only doing it for attention, truely there is nothing wrong with his life, although he thinks he is fat but thats about it.
He wants to kill himself, and hates when im happy around him, he makes me say horrible things to make him happy.
i dont know what to do!
also he is sharing a razor with two ther chicks in my grade....im scared they are going to get sick.
is their ANYWAY i can help them
:)thanks (link)
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You gave her a 3, but she's right. You should tell an adult.
You're right. He wants attention. He's a child, and so are you. You're not going to be able to help him except by bringing his idiocy to the attention of people who might actually be able to make an impact on it.
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My 7 mo. old daughter recently had her finger burnt by a waiter at a large childrens pizza chain. Nothing serious, just a small blister, but still almost 5 hours of screaming in pain. The company offered us "reasonable compensation" for her pain and asked my husband and I to come up with an amount. Neither one of us has been through this before so our question is, What amount would be considered Reasonable. Any Suggestions? (link)
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They're trying to buy off a lawsuit, because people can and have sued for more frivolous reasons and gotten money for it.
Your kid is 7 months old. She isn't going to remember what happened an hour after her finger stops hurting.
Reasonable compensation? Ask them for a hundred bucks to hire a family member to babysit and go out for a nice dinner. Since they're offering, let them replace the evening that got ruined by a 7 month old with a burn.
Don't go to an attourney. This is not an excuse to lawyer up. In the past, there would have been an apology and that's about it. Don't be that douchebag who spends a year suing a restaurant just because you were handed an excuse.
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Why do some people feel the need to stereotype? I find it very small minded, especially when people say:
*"emos" are suicidal
*"preps" are mean
*guys are horndogs
*girls are bitches when they get their periods
*teenagers are full of raging hormones and go through tons of mood swings
etc.
So why do some stereotype like that? (link)
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Because more than 80% of the population of the world lacks the intelligence to rise above the stereotypical.
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Im 17 and i know ill be losing my virginity this summer. But apart of me still thinks HE is too good for me. And that im not that beautiful and skinny enough to have sex. Has anyone ever felt this way? How should i get over these feelings? (link)
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I honestly can't tell you how to deal with those feelings. Let's face it, I'm a guy, so my mind first jumps to "therapy"
But there's something to be said about being ready for the emotional impact sex can bring into life and relationships.
You're really not ready to handle that well yet.
I mean, you're still evaluating relationships based on visual worth, sex is supposed to be approached from the angle of "hey, we're both human beings and we want to fuck each others brains out" not "The social equation is in balance, my beauty plus a willingness to give blow jobs equals being worthy of sex with a guy X hot!"
This isn't algebra. On a fundamental level I don't think you get that. There's no such thing as classes or leagues. There are only people you're compatible with and people you aren't.
I wonder. Do you think friendship is a requirement for relationships?
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i have this boyfriend and he's pretty sweet but he liks doing sexual stuff. he knows i'm a virgin and that i want to wait but he still wants to do things like oral and stuff. i'm pretty sure he likes me because he texts me all of the time and we talk about alot of things, not just sexual. infact we barely ever talk sexual, but when we're together he always wants to after we start making out and stuff. but i guess thats normal right? anyways i'm 18 and he's 17 but i'm scared he might be too young for me and especilly since girls mature faster than guys. do you guys think i should stay with him? any opinions would be awesome, thankss. (link)
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What exactly are you scared of? Confrontation, I expect.
Assert yourself. Guys are like that. I'm 25 and my wife has to beat me off with a stick most days. We do tend to be a bit more contentious and self aware about it when we get older, but then again one of the perks of being sexually active is that I actually do get laid after I make out. Not having constant blueballs makes it easier to show restraint.
You've got to be able to deal with it and move on. If you're not ready, you're not ready. Isn't going to stop him from hoping you change your mind.
If there's a maturity issue here, it's yours. You specifically stated that he's like this in the moment, which is normal. You're not dealing with it well, I'd imagine because he's probably more comfortable with sex and sexuality than you are.
If you like the kid, don't fuck up your relationship because you're insecure.
Unless it's entirely unwanted. I mean, at this point you do _want_ to have sex with him, right? If your issue stems from not wanting to sleep with him in the first place that's a bit of a horse of a different color.
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Hi there,
I am getting plenty of these clogging up the server's inbox (see below) please fix that as soon as you can.
Thank you,
DN.
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To: imjustgoingtousethisforspam@yahoo.com
Subject: WittyUsernameHere: Someone needs your advice!
From: Advicenators
Message-Id:
Date: Thu, 04 Feb 2010 20:23:15 -0500
Dear WittyUsernameHere,
You have a new question waiting in your advicenators inbox. To view this question, visit http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=577220 . To view all questions waiting for you, visit http://www.advicenators.com/inbox.php.
If you feel this e-mail shouldn't have been sent to you, forward it to admin@advicenators.com. You can also edit your settings to turn off e-mails sent when users ask you a question. (link)
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I disabled e-mails. If I need to do anything else, let me know
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A few years ago I got married to my darling husband. He's really a wonderful man but I wasn't ready for a baby then. Two of my best friends have BOTH just become pregnant and it makes me realize that I'd like to be pregnant now as well. I am ready to have my first baby but I don't know how to tell my husband now. When we got married he really wanted to have a baby right away and I told him how I didn't want that to happen so he was very disappointed. (link)
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I'd go with something ridiculous like walking up to him with your birth control and a lighter and asking him if he wants you to burn your pills.
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When you apply for a job/college/anything, and they ask you your interests, does advicenators count? Could i say im an advice columnist, and maybe show off my average rating?
What do you think? :) (link)
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Terrible idea. Absolutely terrible. Online forums are not to be shown off in real life. No one really cares all that much that you're on this website, and if nothing else you don't want to submit a website with as much random immaturity and posts from teenagers with love and sex issues as possible.
When applying for anything, you want to think "professional"
Advicenators is the exact opposite. Moreover, the advice given here does not actually represent much of anything official. If you were a part of a professional psychiatric forum (which doesn't exist, so far as I know) and were licensed to provide advice and help to those in need, it might then be helpful to include depending on its relevance to what you were applying for.
This though? Questions about teenaged love and awkward sex which show up on every page? Questions about broken homes and screwed up families from kids with few other places to turn? This is not professional. It's not something you should advertise. Advicenators is here to provide what little help it can to people who need to ask for feedback from strangers. It's a social construct, not a professional organization, and as such it would not be suitable to impress another professional organization.
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14 f
Alright, I'm sick of people saying that I don't know what love is. My friend Cierra thinks the same. She's in a relationship with her bf they have been dating for 3 years, and she says that anyone can be in love at almost any age. My bf is the guy I want, he helps me feel better when no one else can. I sometimes cry and pray to god that he won't take him away from me because I have never been treated this well before. I"ve dated 3 other guys than him in the past and they never came close to be this close to me. Him and I think the same, and feel and worry in the same ways. We both need each other or we will be lost, we wouldn't know how to get threw life. We both feel like outcasts, alone and we don't fit in* even though I think he has more friends than I* He doesn't like it when I get depressed and lonely he helps me soo much. My brother told me i shouldnt be so dependent on a guy, but he's the only person I want. I just want to show people that this IS love, my parents don't like me and my bf together because he's 2 years older. He's not what they think he is. I know they want me to be safe and what not, and they don't want me to be sexual active. *which im not* I'm waiting and he respects that XD He said " You don't have to do anything your not comfortable with. I love you to much to hurt you." The most we have done is kissed. I'm shy, and quiet he's loud *when he's with me or friends* and a dare devil haha >.> Will everyone eventually get use to us? We've been dating sense january i think? He knows all that. lol There getting a little bit use to it ..my parents...i just don't want them to think badly of my bf. >.< Please tell me what you think..thank you. XD (link)
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First off, you need to stop worrying about what other people besides your parents thing. Parents are important, they're going to have to respect your decisions and so you want to show them that they can early. Everyone else should be ignored.
Second, I want to explain what people mean, because you'll not be nearly as upset about this in a few years.
Imagine that your soul is a dry planet, and Love is water. When you first start dating someone, Love is a bucket of water sitting on the ground. That water is real, it's sitting right there, but it's a small amount of water, and it's just kind of sitting there. It could get knocked over, kicked over, etc.
Now as you get to know someone, you (hopefully) fall deeper into love with them. Love is no longer a bucket in the ground, Love is a swimming pool dug out. It's more difficult to fill said pool, but it's also more difficult to empty, and there's a shitload more water.
This continues. A swimming pool becomes a lake. A lake becomes a sea. A sea becomes an ocean.
By comparison, picture the globe as you know it today, with its oceans and continents. That's what it's like for me and my wife. She's not only a part of me, but a significantly huge part. More than that, I'm different because of all that Love, the water had to go somewhere, so it went in places that were scooped out of me. It's a part of me, and I'm pretty permanently changed because of it.
When people tell you at 14 you don't know what Love is, it's because they know that you're probably somewhere around the bucket or swimming pool stages.
That's not to say that your feelings aren't real, aren't powerful, are fake, etc. Love is Love. Water is Water. But when you're older, you will fully understand the metaphor I just gave you.
I mean, do you think that if you and your current boyfriend work well together that you've already reached the deepest depths of what you can feel for him? I promise you've more than likely barely scratched the surface, and when you realize that it can get a bit scary. I'm not making any assumptions about your relationship either way, but I am saying that as you grow up your capacity for Love will grow with you (and as you experience relationships, it will similarly grow from that too)and compared to what you will be able to feel in the future your Love is a bucket in the ocean.
For your parents, use the word "respect" often. As in "he treats me with respect". Your parents are going to be more scared of you getting hurt, getting an STD, getting pregnant, or all the other things that can happen as a result of kids dating. And they're going to be thinking these things from a "someone's going to hurt our little girl" perspective.
So, the real trick here is to take charge (at least in your parents eyes). You respect your boy, and he respects you. That message is paramount. If you can make your parents believe that you set the pace of this relationship and not the other way around, they'll be more focused on you than him, which is exactly what you want. You want them to believe that you're not going to let anything you don't want happen to you, so that all they have left to worry about is what you're going to let happen to you (in other words, worry about YOUR decisions) which is the most normal thing for parents of teens to worry about in the world, and is the easiest to address because while you can stare them down and flat out tell them that you've earned trust, your boyfriend can't exactly do the same thing.
Bring him over for dinner. Not now, necessarily, give it a few more months probably, but introducing him (assuming he knows how to kiss parental ass and pretend to be the perfect boy who wouldn't dream of having sex until marriage, etc) could go a long way towards allaying their fears about him, and give you a leg up on making them face the fact that you're making your own choices here, not having your choices made for you.
Parents always try to blame outside influences so their kids can remain perfect angels.
You're 14. You're in puberty, you're developing sexually, and your parents are going to have to accept that at some point. The sooner you get them used to "I'm not some innocent little kid anymore" the better. Expect that little revelation be a bit rocky, especially if you're the first child your parents will be terrified that something horrible will happen when they let you out of their sight to start working on being an adult.
You need to show them that you're trustworthy, both in and out of relationships, and you need to show them that you're independent enough that they need to focus on you and what you do rather than the risks of what other people might make you do.
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