|
i hate this
the other day i was beat by my dad so bad im 16 and a guy but i can't stand up to him. he punched me in the nose once an threatened to kill me so i took a shotgun an put it to his head an told him to back the f*** off. i thought i made the point clear to him but the next day he had iron knuckles with him an nailed me in the forehead. im lucky i barely felt it i guess over the years ive become almost immune to pain. but i dont know what to do to have him stop without cops or foster care getttin involved i luv him to much even tho he busted my lip and my forehead open. luckily im ok i dont feel dazed or nothin from the hit. im lucky i moved backwards with the punch so it didnt get me bad just a lil blood. but if i hadnt moved i could probly be dead rite now........... any advice would be helpful............ but toher than my dad i have a goood good life an grl im a QB for my highskool and i make straight A's.... i need sum help plz
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
WOW!
the first thing i want to ask is, what causes your dad to act this way? normally a parent will be proud of his child for getting straight A's and being intelligent. wow! I am sorry to say this but you can only take soo much. Like you said if you hadn't moved the time he puched where will you be right now? i know you love your dad but at the same time you have to do what is best for you because when you do that, your not only helping yourself your saving your dad from doing something that he will feel soo much guilt about if it happened. and your only 16? i pray that you recieve help in this sitaution from someone that can help you and that you can trust. maybe have an intervation... just a suggestion. but at first try not to get in his way, if that doesn't work find out the what triggers his actions and try to avoid that...
bye is you have updates on things i would really be all ear! hope i helped
]
I feel for you but you must realize parents aren't suppose to act like that. Talking to your dad probably wouldn't work. So talk to someone else. Call a help hotline. Don't take any more bs from him, even if you love him.
]
You need to get out of there.
I'm going to put this as frankly as I can. In a situation like yours, there's only so much you can take. Period. Everyone has limits, exhaustion, and you do not need to push yourself to your limits right now.
You're 16, you're not supposed to be learning how to deal with a parent who takes his shit out on you and threatens you. You're supposed to be worrying about school, the team, that girl, and where your next tank of gas is coming from, and that's about it.
This is going to affect your life for years to come. And every year you sit by, is probably another five you're going to hate yourself for it later.
Start with a school counselor. They're free and the closest thing you've got to an adult friend who's on your side.
Do it now. The longer you wait, the worse off you're going to be. As someone who didn't ever stand up, didn't ever say anything, and didn't stop what you have the ability to stop, don't go down that road.
Love isn't worth it. Love won't be there in 5 years. Family isn't worth it either. The truth is that family is what you make of it, it can be your lifeline and light in the dark, or it can be the darkness itself.
As someone who's life has steadily improved every month my parents have not been in it, go to a counselor, and start exploring your options.
]
Dear I hate this,
I am not going to sugar coat this. If you do not do something about this, it will ruin the rest of your life. I am hoping that it is not already too late.
What I'm saying is this - no matter how good you think your life is or how many A's you're getting, unbeknownst by you, this abuse is creating an alternate person within you. One who may develop anger management issues, one who may beat up his girlfriend and or children, one who won't be able to handle unsuccessfulness of any kind, one who won't be able to keep one relationship for long. The gun incident demonstrates that it's starting already.
The longer you allow this to continue, the longer you will need therapy. Yes therapy. You will need to discuss this in detail with a professional and discuss the paradox of loving someone who is beating the life out of you.
What you may not know is that your father was beatup when he was young. This is the way the cycle of abuse works. He didn't talk to anyone to resolve those issues, so now he's beating you. He knows it's wrong, but yet he thinks it's best. Sounds sick doesn't it? It is. Your father is a sick man and he needs help. However, do not sacrifice your future happiness by doing sticking around. You cannot help him. Protect yourself!
Find the number to a crisis hotline so they can direct you to appropriate authorities in your area. It's a difficult decision. I understand. However, you are at a crossroad right now. If you do nothing, trust when I say, you will feel the effects and regret for the rest of your life. You do not deserve this type of living.
Take care,
Deeply Setting
]
There is nothing you can do personally, if he does this often the only way you are going to get him to stop is to tell someone that can help you, if i were you i would talk to one of your family members and see if you cant get them to help you if you dont want to involve the cops. maybe the family member can get your dad some help and give you somewhere to live while your dad get everything together. he is obviously not going to stop if you tell him by yourself so get someone to help you, one of these days he might go to far.
]
I can understand that you love your dad. I mean he is the guy that made you. Look at ur life now, you have a wonderful girlfriend, good grades, and you're QB, now wouldn't that suck if your dad broke your arm. there goes QB. What if your girlfriend goes away? Will you have anything to keep you going in life? It's not fair the way your dad treats you and no matter how much love you want from him he's not going to give it to you. The only way to fix this is to tell someone. Tell a neighbor maybe an aunt or an uncle. You could move in with an aunt or uncle without turning in your dad. You don't have to go into foster care and you don't have to give your dad to the cops you just need some help. Tell a teacher, counciler whatever just dont let him ruin your life. You can try talking to him but by the way he beats you I assume he's not going to listen. There are child abuse hotlines and people that CAN help. really, you need someone there for you and you can't keep letting your dad do this to you. Be brave and tell someone for all you know you might live with amazing people, at least my friend did. Good luck, find someone to talk to even if it's a friend, drop one in my inbox if you need anything else.
]
o believe you should get the cops involved no matter what. eventually he might hurt you severly and it could damage you permanately and you might think you love him but you have to get out before something terrible happens. What he is doing is abuse no matter if you love him or not. call the cops and get out. You may have to deal with foster care or move in with a different family member but it is better than dealing with a beating, especially whnen your a great student and a great athelete. You dont have to put up with it. if you really dont want the cops involved move in with another family member or stay eith a friend's ffamily for a while so your dad can realize what he does is dangerous and tell him straight up. Get him to leave you alone and move somewhere else with or without telling him. I wouldn't tell him because he might beat you for saying youre leaving, just leave.
]
im so sorry..is it only you and your dad tht live together? i mean doesnt your mom know about this? but neway..if you dont want the cops to get involved..then you have to talk to him and tell him wut your doin rong..so tht you can try and fix it and you guys can get along..not gettin along like you dont no the next tyme something mite happen to you. thts dangerous and you kno tht abuse. but i dont blame you..i wudnt wanna send my dad off to jail. i mean your gettin straight a's?
"but if i hadnt moved i could probly be dead rite now" dead? dude thts serious and if you wanna live..i think you shud tell sum1..if you dont wanan tell the cops..tell a counselor or SUM1..thts not rite..he shudnt be able to do tht to you. you shudnt have to worry about gettin hurt everyday..and you shudnt have to hate your lyfe for sumthing your own father is doin to you..talk to sum1..hope everything works outt!
<3
]
He beats the shit out of you, and you love him? Talk about a love-hate relationship. Honey, I really don't care if you say you don't want to go into foster care or get the cops involved, but this is CHILD ABUSE. Which by the way is ILLEGAL in all 50 states. You need to contact someone, talk to your school guidance counselor. You're not safe at home. A girl in my school got the shit beaten out of her EVERYDAY by her parents. She'd come to school with a black eye. She'd tell people that she just got hit with something but I knew what was going on. I lived next door to her for 14 years. I knew that everyday she'd go home and walk out of her house in worse condition than when she walked in. I didn't do anything about it up until 2 months ago. She came to school with a fat lip, black eye and a broken nose. I knew what happened. I had to do something. Seeing her get hurt by her parents for 14 God damned years and I didn't do SHIT about it. I'm tired of hearing these stories. You're father is an asshole and he deserves to have his ass in jail. Please, before things get any farther, call the cops. You're safter in a foster home then living with him. Please, please, please, Do it. Hope this helped. If you need anything drop it in my box. Please get help.
]
More Questions: |