I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
Visitors: 141808
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Am I supposed to go up to the school? I got a letter online saying "Enclosed is your 2013-2014 award letter detailing the amounts you are eligible to receive" Then it said the reward total. What do I do After I got the letter online? (link)
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Consult the school's financial aid office to figure out the next steps you should follow. That letter likely has to be presented to someone in their office to release funds or taken to your bank. Call the school to find out the process.
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When you register for classes and get your books & supplies do you have to pay for it until they send you financial aid after? Do you get financial aid after classes start? (link)
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What you do is go to the financial aid office on your campus. Tell them you need a fee deferral placed on your account.
It doesn't cost much. This tells the college that you're paid up by financial aid but that it won't be paid out to them right away. Unless you do this you can lose your spot in the program.
Aid can arrive after classes start. Talk to financial aid office in person and tell them you can't afford the books you need because your aid hasn't come yet. They'll fix it. In the meantime try and see if you can get books used or share. Let the instructors know your issue. They'll help.
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there is way I can convince my sister to report to jail or to calm her? (link)
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Read my answer again. It's exactly what I think.
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I have gotten myself into an immense mess with my studies; I make almost no effort. I don't seem to care, I can't commit. I'm lying to my parents - they don't know I dropped out of my first uni and am now doing another course in the same city and the worst part is, I vowed to myself I would work super hard this year and prove that I can do it but of course I've done the complete opposite.
I feel like I cannot tell my parents about how sad and depressed I am and how hugely disappointed I am with my life - I fear they will disown me.
Every day I wake up feeling terrified and thinking about the future makes me so stressed my heart starts racing.
I am not entirely sure I will pass this academic year, which makes me even more terrified of having to come clean if I get kicked out for not obtaining enough credits.
I am living a lie and I am struggling to stay sane - I am ready to burst into tears everytime I think about what a fuck up I am and how majorly I've ruined my own life and I am only 20 years old.
I need some words of advice. Anyone who's been in a similar situation or knows how to approach my parents - I'm going to have to come clean at some point this summer.
As a side note; I've always been average at studies. Nothing special, mostly disappointing my parents who don't seem to understand it isn't easy for me to get super high grades and succeed at everything.
If I struggle, and I tell them about it they have always blamed it on my lack of trying.
Even if I failed a small test in highschool I would instantly receive a lecture on what a disappointment I am to them and how there is no excuse for failing.
I don't know. I'm in a mess, I have nobody to help me and even my boyfriend, although loving and supportive doesn't quite seem to grasp what a fuck up in my academic life I am.
I just..wish I could restart everything with my parents support and this is what I want to tell them but I fear they will me to leave and support my own life..which I am not ready to do... (link)
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Here's what I want you to do. Walk into the emergency department of any local hospital. Explain that you feel depressed and that everything in your life is a complete mess and be brutally honest with these people.
An on-call psychiatrist can diagnose your depression right there and then and put you on a treatment program of proper medication and counseling. They can only keep you 72 hours or more if they believe others or yourself can cause you harm which we've seen isn't an issue or if they feel you need to rest.
This makes you free for a bit of pressures outside and to adjust you to meds. It's not all bad you can have visitors, attend support groups but have a rest if need be. Odds are you'll walk out of the ER within a few hours though.
Armed with a diagnosis I want you to go to the head of your program at the college and tell them bluntly that you know your academics and courses are a mess and that you waited too long to do anything because you were scared of them, your family and failure.
Then indicate that life has been a mess for you until now as you were recently diagnosed with X, Y,Z and that's why your grades are in the toilet. Ask if there is anything you can do at this point to receive an incomplete so you can return once your medical issue balances out. They will have to do something for you. The depression explains the lack of desire to do anything too if that's what you have.
The other thing you should figure out is if you have had a learning disability the entire time that has made learning difficult and affected success until now. If that's a problem on top of what's going on mental-health wise than your parents nor anyone else has any reason to blast you over grades and you can get help from the school if it's a problem.
Once you know both of these things tell your parents exactly what happened with both colleges and that you are taking measures to get your life which has been hell for years because of the problem with being depressed in order and if you disappointed them you're deeply sorry but were so scared and didn't have any idea how to function.
If they don't understand that they're pretty dense as shit is happening with you that is far deeper than college or grades. Get that dealt with and your life will be on the right track.
The thing with college is that you also are probably studying something they wanted you to do and you have no aptitude or any interest in at all. What you need to do is realize that, move on and get involved when better with a program or something that really ignites a passion in you. Then you will certainly succeed.
You're only 20 and you have time to sort all this out don't worry. It may not come easy or fast as you would like but getting your health in check will lead to the success you crave. Take time for yourself to figure out who you and where you want to go. That in fact could be the best damn thing to ever happen for you. To hell with what your parents think if they don't see the issue and the solution.
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I like this girl at school but I am shy
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You have to understand that the young lady is probably feeling as equally awkward and unsure of things as you are.
However, if you want to get anywhere you have to go out on a limb and see if she's in to you.You can invite her to a party, event or out with friends and if she likes you she won't turn that down. If she says no than you know to move on. This way you aren't exactly asking for a date and she can relax with you and likewise.
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I was in English and I looked over and saw this girl walking back and forth (She isn't in my class. I looked in the hallway and she was doing it). I asked these girls in her grade (They're one grade ahead of me.) what was wrong with her, and they said she had bad anger issues. They said it really creepily. Then, they walked away and I think they were talking about me. They kept looking back at me while talking. They're her friends by the way.
I'm kind of scared that they will tell that girl what I said and she'll get mad and try to hurt me. What do I do? (link)
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The problem is there is no problem with her and just an irrational fear of her. These girls probably weren't even talking about you to her. It could have been something completely different. Will she hurt you? Probably not.
She doesn't know you and you never said nor did anything to provoke her. She may have anger issues but it's not something that involves you. Also, people can pace for a lot of reasons and she may have been anxious over something you don't know about.
I would introduce yourself to her and explain that you didn't mean to be insensitive the other day when you saw her pacing in the hallway and that you were just concerned whether she was okay. She should be thankful for you doing that. Tell her if you can help her with anything let you know. That should be the end of any concern about her.
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my 21 year old sister has to go to jail for a year for a hit and run while driving under influence. She has to go next week. She told me she is going to run away so she doesn't have to go. This seems silly to me because I don't know where she will go but it looks like she might be serious. What can I say to talk her out of it, also should I tell someone? I am close to her and don't want to betray her you know. If I tell them what could they do?
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Tell your parents no matter what that she said this to you. Not telling is betraying her in the end and setting her up for a far worse situation. If she runs they will find her and they won't be nice about it. She will have additional charges and time added to the sentence if she runs. That would be tragic.
Your parents need to talk to her and explain that it is scary in there but she will make it through and learn her lesson because if she runs it will be 10 times worse for her and longer jail stint. If she behaves and cooperates in jail she may be out faster dependent or what she did.
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I'll try to explain this as briefly as I can.. I'm a girl (19) and I'm secretly in love with one of my classmate. A few months ago, his best friend started approaching me, he asked for my number and we gradually became "friends". BUT :
1. he says very ambiguous things to me, gets jealous of other guys, texts me a lot and makes efforts to be near me in class, etc.
2. he often talks about his best friend (the one I love) and he invites him when we do things together.. the other day, he even said to me that his best friend was single (i don't know if he was testing me or something)
-> I don't know if one of them or both or none likes me.. What do you think ?
-> What should I do ? I don't want to hurt the "friend" but if I stop our relationship I won't have any contact with the one I'm really interested in.. (link)
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Calm down. I have seen this kind of question a lot. What you need to do is talk to this guy. Level with him that his making you jealous, constant texts, always wanting to be near has you a little uncomfortable. He may be overly friendly and it's overkill or he may be interested.
Tell him that you are getting mixed signals, would like him to stop and that you want and value him as a friend but that there just isn't a physical attraction and you can't fake that. let him know he's coming off too strong.
The other guy gets invited likely because he shares a mutual friend in common. The fact he indicates the other guy is single frequently does make one suspicious but if he knew his friend was in to you than why would he be acting the way he is around you? Odds are he doesn't know what his friend thinks of you.
Do you need this guy to be near the one you like? Nope. If the other guy was a friend before he will remain a friend and make up his mind about where he sees you.
Also, you NEED to take a bold risk and do something totally out of character for an introvert. If you want someone as your boyfriend so bad it hurts you need to invite him out in a group to an event or party and see if he wants to or out for a movie or coffee alone and tell him the truth.
He will respect you either way and at least you will know so you can move on or have success there. What good is this secret if kept? You'll never get what you desire that way. Just remember if he likes you too that he's equally as scared of rejection as you are but someone has to move. Why not you?
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My friend dont care about me, i cant cope well with people around me for i dont b'liv in myself. Bt i think i love em, so whats going on? (link)
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The thing is they probably do care and care a lot about you. It's your depressed state which is telling you differently about your life and the role people play in it.
It's an illness like any other in the sense it must be treated for you to return to thinking of yourself correctly and live normally. You should really tell someone about these thoughts and visit an ER and have a doctor figure out what's going on and provide counseling and medication to get you functioning better.
That's what I know you should do as this thing intensifies and could become a crisis if left alone. You love your family and friends and are seeing glimpses of their love in return but depression is like looking through a dirty window pain at yourself and not seeing the real image--having been there. Do yourself the ultimate favor and speak out to adults about how you have been feeling and be brutally honest. They'll help.
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i feel so depressed i don't know whats wrong with me, i don't smile the way i used to i feel empty. I'm so stressed at the moment i hardly sleep, i literally want to cry everyday but im so strong at holding it in me, a part of me misses my old old life , the person i used to be. I hate who i am now I hate feeling this way, i keep lying to myself thinking everything is perfect when i know inside its not, i don't even feel attractive anymore, i feel ugly, i just want to get away from everyone else i've had enough... (link)
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You have a severe mental-health issue brewing or in progress here. Most likely it's just depression and not additional illness intertwined. The problem is this is 100% an emergency/crisis situation. Why? You aren't able to function, enjoy life, sleep pattern is off, extremely dark thoughts, etc. etc.
What you can either do alone or preferably with an adult you trust who notices the changes is go directly(NOW)to a hospital ER. When you are there you will tell their on call psychiatrist in brutal honesty the truth as you told it to us.
He/she will assess you and get you the right counseling and medication to handle your problem. Vast changes will come but not all at once. If the doctor believes you need rest or that they need time to figure out your illness they may ask that you rest there for 72 hrs.
They do this if they think you can face harm, be of harm to yourself or want to observe you. All this amounts to is rest and chance to feel better with no pressures from the outside world. You'll have access to family, visitors and socializing, peer support groups while there. Definitely not a bad thing.
Don't wait to do this because you think that this is as bad as it will get. It will become a hurricane of a situation if not tackled now and treated. Been there.
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My social work professor opened up to us the other day when she told that when she was eight years old, she had almost gotten kidnapped. If it wasn't for her sister being there and putting up a fight, they would have gotten kidnapped because there was a car that heard her screams and came to their rescue. After she told us her story she took us to the missing and exploited children website and said that we can sign up to help the cause. So, far, all I have seen is where to donate money. I want to volunteer to help out. Is there a place that I can do such thing and if not, do you guys know of anywhere that is similar to that so I can help out there? I really want to give my free time to something very special and prove to me that social work is the right minor for me. So, if you guys have any suggestions as to anything that I could do, I would really appreciate it! (link)
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If you really want to help missing and exploited children the only legit agency as seen on Americas Most Wanted, CNN etc is the National Centre For Missing and Exploited Children at
1-800-The-LOST and/or Child Find. They do have volunteers and can tell you how to help.
As for the social worker perhaps she was sharing her story in confidence and made the mistake of telling and showing you that web site. It's not professional no matter where her heart is at. I would feel suspicious if all it was is links to download. Like others have said you should bring this up to a supervisor if she did this during a session with you.
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i was taking medication because i had a yeast infection. it was one pill at night and one in the morning. i took my night one but an hour later i drank hard liquer, not that much maybe the most 3 shots cause i forgot. then later i had the worst lower abdominal cramps ever and i never get cramps there only in my legs when i am about to get my period but later in the night i ended up getting my period. now i dont know if the drinkning on the meds caused the pains or the pms. i dont want to tell my mom. could this have damaged my reproductive system? it said do not drink alchohol on this medication. thanks (link)
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We aren't doctors and cannot diagnose or venture a guess about any potential medical issue. That said, if a medication states don't consume alcohol for any reason there may be big consequences depending on how much as a result.
I'm not trying to scare the shit out of you but if you experienced severe cramps that had nothing to do with menstruation than you need to see a doctor pronto.
Although it may be embarrassing to tell your mom you really need to and to have her support so you see a doctor. I rather doubt that you damaged reproductive organs here though. In the future be sure to not drink while on meds to avoid any problems that may arise if mixed with pills. Very dicey.
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Hi,
I'll get straight to it. I can't keep "it" up.
I'm attracted to this girl, and every time we do it, I can get it up. And everything will be fine for the most part. To stop me finishing too early, I seem to keep stopping and starting. So I will continue, and like I said, everything will be fine. But then, I will go soft. And I'll try to get it up again, but I can't. I try to put it in, but It'll flop right back out again.
And it get's me really frustrated. I thought it was because of smoking, so I stopped. But it still happens. I'm comfortable around the girl, and she's given me the whole "You know I like you, even if you can't finish?" and it just feels patronizing - even though I know she means it.
So yes, I'm pretty sure I could sustain it if I were to finish early - but I want it to be good for her too, and so I don't.
Anything I can do or try?
Thanks! (link)
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Aside from the advice you already have received I know of a product that may work. Adult novelty stores sell plastic rings that slide on and trap blood flow to male genitals so intercourse can last normal time frame.
They go by a very vulgar name that can't be repeated here but ask any of their clerks for this ring and they'll know. Provided you are 18-years-old and can enter the store this may be a possible short term solution but do see a urologist to rule out medical problems.
Also, if especially on NEW medication or even old with any changes look into whether there is sexual side-effects.
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Why can't I meet anyone for marriage, or why don't I have close friends, after I meet people they go away.
Janet (link)
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You no doubt are a smart individual and likeable but just don't have good social skills. I'm not attacking you here but rather pointing out that there has to be something lacking or inadvertently pissing them off that they aren't coming back or discard you easily.
What you need to do is be brutally honest with yourself and find a psychologist and tell them what you told us and find the root cause of your problem with people that way. This professional can also teach you tips to navigate socially.
Sooner or later you will attract the right people for friends and maybe marriage but it's obvious something is broken and you have to take measures to correct it so you fare better with people.
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I'm 20 years old and just finished my second year of college. By credit hours, I'll still technically be a sophomore in the fall. Currently, I'm majoring in Sociology with an emphasis in Substance Abuse studies. I love it, but the problem is that the university I'm tranferring to does not off that program. I really want to do something that will allow me to help people. I DO NOT want to be an Education major and I don't think Psychology would be a good match either. What are some unique degrees/majors I could choose that would be similar to what I'm in now? I'll be attending Oklahoma State in the fall. (link)
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Considering your background in Substance Abuse Studies you would be a prime candidate for a Child and Youth Worker program. You are on the front-line with at risk children/teens trying to turn their world around. I would look into it and what credits you already have to apply to it. It's extremely hands on. Maybe also think of teaching, nursing, social work in general.
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What do I do if no teacher or anybody cares if someone is bullying me? (link)
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If it's physical file a police report and have them charged with assaulting you. Also list all instances of verbal threats.
If they call your home bothering you take down the numbers, date and times of the calls and charge them with harassment. Also tell police on your own about Facebook abuse and cyber bullying.
I'm sure your parents care. If teachers keep passing the buck have your parents go directly to the school board, chairman and trustees and make a big noise about you not getting support. Go to the community newspaper even and shine attention on the school not doing anything for victims.
I don't condone violence but if someone punches, kicks, pushes you than you should defend yourself and show through that not to screw with you. Self defense lessons for that purpose as well as to become confident and handle bullying is a good idea.
I would find a doctor or psychologist that is on your side who can put pressure on the school to do something. They can help you with your social skills, how to handle bullying, becoming confident as well as anxiety and depression and be a real advocate. You can see your family doctor for a referral.
The bottom line is don't react to what they say or do and as hard as it is to remember you're better than they say of you. Consider the source and then know it has no traction nor can harm you. It's not easy but continue to stand up for yourself and tell every last adult what's happening until someone acts. They have to.
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If you tricked the cops into thinking that there was a murder or something like that by using ketchup as blood, or something like that, I don't know, and you time the cops on how long it takes them to get there, and somehow get the news reporters on your side, to teach the cops to do their job correctly, could they arrest you? Would they stick you in jail for a few years? How would they react to that? Has anyone ever done something like that?
I am sick and tired of hearing stories of people like the three women found this week, and Jaycee Lee Dugard. It makes me so angry. I want to see the cops embarrassed into doing a PERFECT job, or getting fired. Their job is too fucking important for them to be lazy. Way too fucking important... (link)
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First of all no news reporter or editor would ever do what you are thinking of. They cannot risk their reputation or the outlet's on fabricated stories. In fact, if you knowingly do something fabricated your career is over in seconds.
Secondly, if you tie up the 911 system and the police with a bullshit hoax that could have been used to save others the very least you will have is a public mischief charge if not others.
Also, cops and investigators especially homicide aren't idiots they can tell ketchup from blood in seconds. If you went through with this you would face a ton of consequences. To put it bluntly, the cops would be the ones teaching you a lesson and it's likely one you don't want taught.
There are good cops and bad cops. I think the main thing is that they have to stop viewing females over 15 as obvious runaways and start listening to those who report them missing. They missed key links and leads in Dugard and this case but they were looking for them both and not always lazy.
If this makes you very angry try to do something productive by writing a letter to the editor or article expressing how you feel and what you think needs to be done with police procedure to make sure nothing like this happens again. That will get your views and anger about this out there in a much positive way then you initially came up with.
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how do i ask my bestfriend to have sex with me without affeding her and getting mad at me
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You cannot control anyone's reaction to anything. However, if you think you could offend her and likely would than say nothing.
Unless you are in a relationship with this person asking them to do this would get you in trouble. Bad idea.
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Hey. I'm feeling really bad about what happened in athletics today. My friend and I were angry at the coach because she never picks us to play or says something like "Too bad deal with it" when one of us is sick or injured. My friend's name is Leah. She is known to have seizures. I just happened to have a strobe light on my ipod. She told me to let her see is so the coach would start respecting us. I told her no that it was a bad idea, but she grabbed it out of my pocket and turned it on. She was having a silent seizure and I thought she was faking it because she had in the past. I was laughing at her, but after a few minutes, I noticed it was real. I panicked and told the coach then ran out of the building due to fear and embarrasment. Now the other girls say mean things about me and I got kicked off the team. (link)
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None of this is your fault and you must not think like that. You can't predict or control what happens with your friend's illness. It's the coach's problem, fear and ignorance that led to your termination. Have your parents contact school admin on that one.
Your friend obviously doesn't know the severity of her illness and not to joke about it or fake seizures because nobody will help as was the case here. You ran out of the room because you are not trained to know what to do if this happened.
I'm not going to bash your friend but what she did was pretty darn sick to pretend to have seizures and then wind up having a real one and nobody at first saw the difference.
She needs a wake-up call (this one) to start treating this illness more seriously and not do this.
Also her behavior has a lot to do with this and her health. If she knew full well NOT to look at a strobe light of any kind and she did... Also, if she's doing this for "respect" and to get out of class if I read your question correctly that's really wrong. I doubt few people would if they knew about her faking this before a real one. At any rate you are blameless and she needs to grow up a bit and see it's nothing to fake or joke about.
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19 f
Ok so my dream is to be a singer. Mainly a rock singer. Ive been doing vocal excersises for a while and I thought I was in key. I got an audition for a small record label and I took my music today. I was heart broken because when I sang my music the producer said it was good but I was off key. And I could hear it but im not exactly sure what that even means? He also said my melody didnt go well with the background music. Which I thought it did. I feel like I blew my only chance. Any advice on this? How can I get better? Any exercises? My vocal teacher is 80 an hour and thats super expensive but I guess ill have to continue but anyrhing else I could do? I was so excited to do this but now I feel so sad and hopeless !
If it helps he said I have a good tone but I need to learn to control my high notes and stay on key . :(
Thankyou in advance (link)
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You are off key because you cannot hear and keep the right pitch in your head. You may have a decent voice but it appears you may be tone deaf. It's no wonder you get lost and off-key.
If your vocal teacher hasn't caught this glaring problem I would dump him or her and find someone who knows that you're "way off" on the parts you try to sing and can work to fix it if possible.
If you're paying someone $80 an hour and they haven't seen that you have this issue than you're getting financially and emotionally screwed over. A great voice teacher will have all the answers to your problem and or will tell you that you just don't have it or can't sing well.
Also, this is just ONE audition. People go on several. However, if they told you flat out what the issue is at least you can take that feedback and go about working on it. Then maybe you'll be successful next time.
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