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the best friend of the guy I like seems to be interested in me..
I'll try to explain this as briefly as I can.. I'm a girl (19) and I'm secretly in love with one of my classmate. A few months ago, his best friend started approaching me, he asked for my number and we gradually became "friends". BUT :
1. he says very ambiguous things to me, gets jealous of other guys, texts me a lot and makes efforts to be near me in class, etc.
2. he often talks about his best friend (the one I love) and he invites him when we do things together.. the other day, he even said to me that his best friend was single (i don't know if he was testing me or something)
-> I don't know if one of them or both or none likes me.. What do you think ?
-> What should I do ? I don't want to hurt the "friend" but if I stop our relationship I won't have any contact with the one I'm really interested in..
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Some of what you described the best friend as, could be warning signs of a serious character flaw. Either way, what matters is that we all learn in life to surround ourselves with friends and eventually a love who strengthen us, not weaken us. If you feel you must change who you are for anyone, that is not a good person to keep company with.
Whether you are right about the signs you are picking up or not, it doesn't hurt to tell this guy that you like him as a friend but nothing more.
As to why he would point out to you that his friend, the one you really like is single, who's to know. If you are ever curious about a statement someone makes, ask them at the time. like.."Why are you pointing out to me that he is single?" Communicate your thoughts and feelings, and ask questions. You will not be left in a position to wonder anymore.
Don't worry about hurting the friend. Be nice and polite but you can't let your choices in life be dictated by whether someone gets their feelings hurt or nose bent out of joint. Your life is yours to live, not to live for someone else.
Approach the one you are interested in and ask if he'd like to start hanging out with you and let him know that you only felt like a friend to his friend, nothing more.
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I was in this situation last year. I just ended up telling the guy that liked me, that I liked his best friend. He cooled off but we are still friends.
You can still be friends with this guy but he might not be interested in just being friends with you so you'll have to take initiative and try hanging out with his friend on your own.
I mean if you really don't want to tell him that you like his friend, then tell him that he's coming on too strong and you don't want to give him mixed signals. I mean he's being obvious he likes you, and if you keep letting him be like this, then it's leading him on and letting him think that it's ok for him to act like this. So either way, you have to put a stop to him acting like this. Or you could always just lead him on and then his best friend with know he likes you and won't be interested.
So my advice would be to tell him you like his friend or just tell him you're not into him like that.
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Calm down. I have seen this kind of question a lot. What you need to do is talk to this guy. Level with him that his making you jealous, constant texts, always wanting to be near has you a little uncomfortable. He may be overly friendly and it's overkill or he may be interested.
Tell him that you are getting mixed signals, would like him to stop and that you want and value him as a friend but that there just isn't a physical attraction and you can't fake that. let him know he's coming off too strong.
The other guy gets invited likely because he shares a mutual friend in common. The fact he indicates the other guy is single frequently does make one suspicious but if he knew his friend was in to you than why would he be acting the way he is around you? Odds are he doesn't know what his friend thinks of you.
Do you need this guy to be near the one you like? Nope. If the other guy was a friend before he will remain a friend and make up his mind about where he sees you.
Also, you NEED to take a bold risk and do something totally out of character for an introvert. If you want someone as your boyfriend so bad it hurts you need to invite him out in a group to an event or party and see if he wants to or out for a movie or coffee alone and tell him the truth.
He will respect you either way and at least you will know so you can move on or have success there. What good is this secret if kept? You'll never get what you desire that way. Just remember if he likes you too that he's equally as scared of rejection as you are but someone has to move. Why not you?
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