A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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I dont understand why men find foreign women, like asian, latin, or easter european women better wives? Is it truly because they are submissive, and men like that? I always thought that for men, a strong, independent woman that can take care of herself is most attractive so why is it that so many men say that they want to marry women from foreign countries because they are better wives, and dont nag you, and cook and clean and take care of children, etc etc. Honestly I am from Eastern Europe, and Ive lived in the US for 9 years and I adopted some of the ideals of equality from here, but my boyfriend still says that he loves me because I am not like those american girls that are egotistical and feminist. But I hate that because it makes me feel like hes going to want me to do everything for him like cook, clean etc, and although I dont mind doing that stuff per say, I dont want to be alone in doing it I want it to be 50/50 or at least 40/60 you know? Why do men like women that are submissive??? (link)
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Americans are arrogant. Any decently self aware and intelligent member of our country will spend ten minutes in another country and figure that out. We've been taught to be from a very young age, and living in the country that's set the pace for most of the civilized world for decades kind of makes alot of people feel justified in it.
I will say, that there are men who want a wife-servant and men who want a partner in every culture, religion, and country of the world. You just got a small fish you need to throw back.
Foreign women are exotic. Foreigners in general are exotic. That goes for all countries, if you take two people of relatively similar personalities, backgrounds, etc, and give one a foreign accent to the person who's picking there's a pretty good chance that person will be the "more attractive"
Hell, I'll admit it, British chick's get me going just by talking. Irish chicks are worse, I've got some Irish in me and short drunken red haired women are the most fun you'll ever have. Worth going bi over, but that's a personal opinion.
American's in general have a huge sense of entitlement to alot of things. If you're the kind of person who doesn't really like or agree with mainstream culture, someone from a foreign country and culture who wasn't raised the way you were can be refreshing if you still happen to have some common ground and chemistry.
Your boyfriend sucks. It happens sometimes. Get rid of him, keep looking. There are good American guys out there, same as any other country. If you're an 18 year old exchange student, there will be plenty more in college who'll be plenty interested.
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I'm 18 years old and I've been dating my boyfriend for ten months.
We got in a really big fight today, smoothed everything over, but he said something that kind of stuck with me.
He told me that he doesn't feel appreciated by me and that everything good he does for me goes unnoticed. I do have to agree with him a little on that, sometimes I do take him for granted. Sometimes I'm just really stressed or distracted and I get mad about little things.
It hurts me that he thinks that, though. It makes me feel like I've been a bad girlfriend to him.
I guess I'm asking advice, primarily towards males, on what I can do to show him how much I really do love him.
Thanks! (link)
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Speak up. Men are direct, and logical. When we tell you that we feel like you don't do something, that's direct instructions to do it more, and to think about it often enough that you do it without us saying anything.
In this case, he wants you to make a slightly bigger deal about the things he does. He wants you to sometimes respond in kind with thoughfullness. He wants you say something when he does something you appreciate that will make him feel good about your interactions with each other.
Really simple, basic stuff.
Also, try every once in a while to make him the center of attention. Every few weeks, maybe once a month, have a day that's entirely about him. Do stuff he likes, eat food he likes, since you're not a minor and I assume neither is he, if you're active, have sex that he likes. Sit him down with a movie he loves, put him on the floor in front of the couch, and give him an hour long scalp and shoulder massage while he watches a movie that he loves (and that you can tolerate without wanting to die to get away from)
He gives you attention because he wants you to do the same. It's really that simple, leave your stress behind, chill out with him, and spoil him a little bit.
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So I like this boy, and he told me that he's taking AP Physics next year and that's really the main reason that inspired me to take it. Am I insane for doing this? I mean, I AM smart and highly motivated...Is this a "good" thing that I've done? I mean isn't it possible that a crush can inspire you to work harder and improve yourself in life? That's how I feel when I think of him. After wasting my time on a guy that only brought misery to my life (in terms of a semi self-destructive relationship) I want something more. I have such big dreams for my future and I know it sounds silly but my crush really does inspire me. A part of me thinks that this makes me some obsessive creep and that I might be in over my head. But the more I think of the class I think about how interesting it will be. All my high school career I've been chickening out of advanced math and science mainly out of fear. So I don't know, is this a good idea? (link)
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::Edit::
It was just AP physics 1. It was... crap like 8 years ago now? We didn't have letters attached to it back then.
Yes, it's ridiculous to go into something like AP physics over a crush when you could just find him after class and talk with him. It's a crush, he might not even know you exist, and you just resigned yourself to one of the most difficult classes high school has to offer.
Unless you actually enjoy physics, I'd try to find a way to change it. I took an AP physics in high school. I got an A, but it took alot of work and I'm gifted in Math. I wouldn't recommend it for someone who isn't specifically interested in physics. I took it because I was entering college with Engineering as my chosen course.
Also, as a guy, if he finds out that's going to make you a lot less attractive and a bit more creepy. Guys expect to have to work for a girls interest. If he finds out you joined a physics class just to be around him when you were crushing, he's definitely going to have an ego the size of Jupiter within the confines of any relationship that might eventually form, and he may even be creeped out enough that he avoids you like the plauge.
When guys follow crushes around and join classes to be near them when they've hardly ever spoken in any real sense before, we're labeled as creepy and stalkerish.
Thats what you're being, and just because you're a girl (and thus mostly non-threatening) doesn't mean you can't come off as desperate and creepy.
Don't listen to other girls. They know nothing of how guys minds work. Unless you're following around some socially awkward nerd who'd faint out of fright at the manifest idea that someone wants to fuck them and who would probably stalk you too if they were interested, you're going to scare him off and have nothing but AP physics to show for it.
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Hey how are you. I LOVE your advice column and think you out of anyone here can help me with this issue.
I'm 18, doing very well in school.
Going to a good university next year. My boyfriend on the other hand is 24 (yes I know I am a bit young for him, but I assure you i am mature enough for the relationship). He should have his 4 year degree right now but doesn't. He's a sweetheart but hes not that school oriented I should say. He would like to be, but for some reason (i think hes either lazy or burned out) he desn't do too well. Hes taking some minor classes at a community college to get enough credits to go to a specialized medical graduate school. It's a big deal because lord knows he has enough experience as a physical therapist to run his own business but needs the actual degree. Problem is I think something happened with his class and he either failed, or has gotten kicked out, but refuses to tell me. Probably out of embarrassment. I dont know. What do you think I should do to get him to confess?
Well first I should mention that the reasons I think something has happened is because he has class on mondays and wednesdays the only two days he doesnt work, and whenever he went he would always do other things right after, now its like he always wakes up at 11 or 12 (he has class from 8 to 9).
When I ask him if he went to school he says yeah, but then i went back home and slept.
Hes been doing the same thing for 2 months now. Whenever I ask him about an exam, its always in the near future, 2 weeks from now, etc.
He's slept over on a sunday night before and monday at 8:30 he was still asleep next to me, when i asked him about school he said he didnt have to go that day, which is odd because hes already missed a lot of classes and they make you drop the class after 5 absences. (I take some classes there on the side as well) Hes done this a few times, so it quite odd.
I just felt fishy about the whole thing and I believe I asked him flat out about 3 times if hes still going to school and hes always calmly replied yes why would I be?
I cant accuse him of lying without actual proof you know?
What is your opinion about the whole thing and what should I do to get him to tell me the truth? He should know he can tell me anything I wouldn't judge him I would help and support him and i've told him that a million times. I just hate liars. Do you have any advice? (link)
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Failure can be a hard thing to accept. Especially for someone who's known success like your boyfriend has, it's incredibly frustrating to feel out of control and to fuck shit up when you don't expect to.
This question is a bit hard to advise, because I'm of two minds about it.
The first option (the sensible one) is to wait and trust. To encourage him to talk to you but not put too much pressure on it, and let him come around to telling you on his own time.
This is generally acceptable and appropriate option. This is the option that puts your relationship in the least danger. And as certain as you seem to be that he's hiding something, it's also going to drive you insane and set a somewhat bad precedent for the future where he's used to not telling you shit until he's completely ready, even when it's seriously important life shit.
The second option is to methodically track his whereabouts when you can, follow him to school, confirm what's going on with your own eyes, and then confront him if something is out of whack. This is a risky course that very well could destroy the relationship under the right (wrong?) circumstances. It's invasive and prying, and you don't really have any real right to do this.
It's also what I would probably do in the situation myself. I will admit that at least I'm married, so if my wife dropped out of school and wouldn't tell me I've got valid reasons to be all over her (like the fact that we share debt and if she has to repay student loans for dropping I'm responsible for them too). That gives me alot more comfort and alot less hesitation.
You're dating this guy, I don't know how long you've been dating or how close you are. I'd hope it's a couple of years at least, at this point, because if it isn't you're likely going to be relegated to option one, or else taking option two and not bringing it up for a while.
There is one thing I'll make clear now though. He sounds a bit like me in how private I am. Took me quite a while to get used to the idea that my wife has the right to know what the hell I'm up to and what's going on in my life. He doesn't sound like he gets that yet, and as I said I don't know if your relationships is strong and involved enough for you to hold claim to the right to be informed.
But this is an issue you need to figure out. If you aren't willing to spy on him and not willing to wait, I'd go in with a conversation about how you feel like he's hiding something and it's driving you insane. Point out the evidence, and tell him that you're worried about him and that as his girlfriend you want to be more involved in his life than just being a pair of arms, a pair of breasts, and a vagina. And emphasize the idea that he's not alone in whatever he's dealing with. After this conversation, drop it and if you still aren't satisfied I guess it's time to stalk him or hire a PI.
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I am a 14/f and my boyfriend of one week is 17/m. My star sign is cancer and his is capricorn... Are we compatible? (link)
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It doesn't matter. You know nothing about relationships, dating, etc. At 14 dating is about figuring out what you like and what you're compatible with. So at this point, it doesn't matter. You'll either work well, and you'll learn what you like. Or you won't, and you'll have a better idea of what to avoid next time.
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my boyfriend wants me to show him how much i love him...well i really dont know how to do show him that i love him...i mean yes i love him but how can i show it next time i come up his house? (link)
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Wow. "The only way you can show love is sexual intercourse"
Elisabby, you are an idiot.
Now. On to the subject.
Guys are like puppies. Imagine a big floppy basset hound puppy. That's us.
What do puppies love? Attention. It doesn't matter what kind, puppies absolutely love having positive attention entirely focused on them.
For guys, the most direct expression of how much you care about us will generally be how much time you feel like spending focusing on making us happy. We're very logical, so often it turns into a sort of goodwill exchange. A perfect example would be something like a shoulder massage.
My wife and I are the same mind, what's the point of living with someone if there aren't any extra benefits to having someone around constantly? So we do things like exchange massages while we watch TV. One of us sits on the floor and gets a massage, we switch after a while. Sometimes we'll do this through the entirety of a movie, which is kind of a measure of love. "I'm willing to spend a ton of time spoiling you because you love me and are willing to do the same"
Pick a day you intend to spoil him. Get a movie he really likes and will want to watch, or plan to go somewhere he'll enjoy. Cook, go out to, or bring home dinner he'll love. Give him a massage and rub his scalp (scalp massages are awesome) and give him little random kisses as you feel like it.
It really doesn't take any more than that. Simple messages, and simple pleasures.
Seriously though, massage trade. Cannot stress that enough. A relaxing rub down at the end of the day can do wonders for anyone, and being in a relationship is something you should use to bring little perks like that into both your lives.
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So I was laying on my boyfriend and we were making out, then he was touching my but then put his hands in my pants played with my thong and then he touched my vagina lips but when he did that I started gtting so horny and moving around alot and breahting heavy, is that normal? He wasnt rubbing or anything. (link)
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Yes, it's normal.
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I am going to be a senior next school year and am applying to a college to take some classes while still in high school for high school and college credits. I have to write an essay on why I want to do this and what classes I want to take. I have the basics written but I'm having a hard time with adding detail because it has to be 5 paragraphs. the reasons I have are it will let me see what college is like and I want to do something different my senior year.
any ideas or suggestions?
thanks so much (link)
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Did the same thing.
I went with the life-plan speech. "I want to do x, and I feel like it's my calling in life, I have this, this, and this quality which are awesome which make me a perfect fit for the career path I've chosen. I want to get college credit because I enjoy challenges, and because I want to get a jump start on my career, etc etc.
I was taking trig, physics, economics, and government dual credit through my high school, and got college credit for all of them. I told the people I was going to double major in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science.
I'm not majoring in either of those. Well, I may go back for CS someday, I actually enjoy programming and would have fun programming physics engines or something. But I just made shit up that sounded good.
You're not even out of high school. You're not expected to have any real life direction. It's the resolve and determination they want to see, after that they want confidence, some level of humility, and affability.
You're writing to portray these things about yourself. So goals. Always goals. And then why you know you're going to meet them. There's a fine line between arrogance and justified confidence, and the way to catch their attention is to walk that line without slipping into arrogance.
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I'm going to college next year for mechanical engineering, which requires about 100-something credits to graduate.
However, I've been thinking about double-majoring in Psychology. I think this takes 60ish credits.
Is this POSSIBLE or MANAGEABLE? What is the workload usually like for each course? How much studying and stuff does each usually take?
I already have some AP credits (in AB calc and psych). And I'm fairly used to doing shitloads of work (I go to a good high school and currently take 8 fairly challenging classes). I know that high school is pretty different from college, I'm just saying I'm not a slacker and I'm used to nerdy competition for high grades.
Anyway, do you think that I can manage all of this (AND still have a social life) ? Or is it just impossible? (link)
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I wouldn't plan to do it within the span of 4 years, but if you wanted to double major in 5-6 you could do it easily.
You don't need anything to interfere with engineering. Trust me, I was looking into Mechanical, Aerospace, and Electrical areas, and no matter what you go into there's a ton of support courses like advanced calculus that will kick your ass if you don't have the time and energy to devote to them.
Plus, the first year of engineering is usually designed to flunk out people who aren't dead serious about pursuing it. I didn't flunk, but I wasn't serious enough to get better than Bs and Cs, so I moved on to other subjects of greater interest.
For engineering, take everything you've heard about college and throw it out the window. The coursework will become your life, and if you intend to do well is going to be far more than a 40 hour a week commitment.
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20/F
I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. We have two very close friends who have been dating for a while. We go to parties at their house fairly often. When I get drunk, I'm very open, and I have showed my boobs a few times (I know it's bad). The thing is, I do these things because I was raped, and in a weird way it makes me feel like I have control again. It's hard to understand unless you've been through the same thing.
Anyway, my boyfriend was cool with that, but lately my male friend has been asking to see them A LOT. Him and his girlfriend are in a very open relationship, so she doesn't care. Lately, though, he'll walk up without asking in the middle of a room full of people at the party and pull my shirt and bra down. He always pulls me on his lap and says that if I wasn't with my boyfriend, him and his girl would have been all over me and that if me and my boyfriend break up I better come to them first. I know this is all my fault because I laugh when I'm nervous and I have a problem saying no, but it's starting to bother both me and my boyfriend. The last time we were at a party, I was so drunk I could barely walk and I was walking to the couch and he grabbed me, pushed my head down, and acted like he was having sex with me. I would try to talk to him about this, but he's a big guy, very short tempered, and has a house full of guns and weapons. The last time a girl told him she wasn't okay with the way he acts, he got really upset, so I'm really afraid to say anything. The thing is, he knows I was raped, so I don't understand why he acts like this sometimes.
I know it's my fault, you don't have to tell me that, but is there any way I can ask him to stop without him getting mad? He takes everything to heart, and if I said I'm uncomfortable with it, it would be pretty bad. (link)
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Oi Christ.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I'm a student of psychology. A girl I dated was raped and went through the same thing, a close friend of mine was sexually abused and has similar issues, and I've volunteered with rape counselors. Bar none the most common reaction to sexual problems in rape victims is a conviction that whatever is going wrong is their fault.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Your "friend" is a douchebag and has no idea what he's doing, or worse knows full well and doesn't care. He's exploiting you for his own enjoyment, and because of the shit in your past you're not equipped to deal with it.
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
Talk to your boyfriend. This is his territory. If someone did to my wife what is happening to you, I'd be absolutely livid. It's his job to be the wall between you and a guy you don't want or need touching you anymore. You have no need to tolerate this, and if the guy can't handle his shit like an adult you should both walk away and stop spending your time around him.
You know what, I read that last line, and I really think you need to be done with this guy. He has "no problem hitting a girl"?
Get away from him. He's an asshole who needs to be dealt with, but that isn't something you need to put yourself through. Stop going over there, stop getting drunk in his presence, and find new friends who won't exploit you.
This is not you fault, but it IS within your power to fix. Fix it. Remove yourself from the situation.
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19f.
please don't ask if it's the right guy or anything of that. this is someone i'm not dating but close with - don't judge. i'm not asking IF i should have sex with him or not i'm asking how to make it happen.
to be honest i'm not one of those girls comfortable with the dirty talk. i'm to the point of just wanting to jump on this guy everytime i see him hahaa and i know he would have sex with me in a second i just don't know how to bring it up. whenever we talk or see each other he always starts the inappropriate talk that i like, and i just go along with it. he will even text me just being like "wanna fuck?"
i just don't think i could ever text him asking that ha. i'm done with the whole "just watch a movie together" blah blah blah..
basically i want to say something to him that will make him just really want me and make it known i want to have sex with him. maybe this will be more of a friends with benefits situation but i'm fine with that. don't give me a big speech about it i know what i'm doing with that part i just need to make it actually happen.
even just texting him i could say something or next time i see him but i think i'd be more shy when saying it in person because like i said .. i'm bad with the dirty talk.
any suggestions? thanks!:) (link)
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Jesus Christ.
You're 20 years old. Either grow up, strip naked in the bathroom while he's over, and come out asking why he hasn't taken his clothes off yet, or speak your mind like an adult.
He's likely your age or older. He's been taught that guys who jump into sex without invitation are creepy and abusive. He's not all over you because you haven't given him clear communication that it's welcome and ok for him to be all over you.
Stop dancing around the damn issue already and speak up. On behalf of all adult guys who want to get laid and don't because of shit like this, open your mouth and tell the guy what you want/need.
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I need to know what it means when you are a slut? How many guys do you have to sleep with to be a slut? Is there like a test or something you can take that tells you if you are being slutty or whatever?
I slept with tree guys in the same night. I feel like the worst person! I didn't tell any of them that I had slept with any of the others, I just wanted to see who was best. Now I feel really stupid. You can tell me the truth when you answer my question, I won't be mad or rate you low.
Is there anything that I can do to make this better? Should I tell the guys? What if one of them has a disease and I gave it to all of them? (link)
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I'll say it, that was slutty.
Even people who have casual sex usually frown on two or three new sex partners in a night. Outside of people who are into a swinging lifestyle (and thus don't try to hide it, are adult about it, and usually aren't teenagers with no adult ideas about sex and relationships) no one really does what you did unless they have an issue with personal standards.
Honestly, keep it to yourself, close your legs, and in six months get an STD test. It could take that long before you get a positive. Get a boyfriend and have sex for more reasons than to get yourself or others off, there's more to sexuality than orgasms and fun.
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ok, i've always gotten the general idea of what would be considered plagarism but then some people have told me different things so now i'm always nervous i'm going to plagarizing something.
anyways.
i love to paint and so i always want to paint things for friends who'd like something done (i basically just charge them for the canvas and like, ten extra bucks for me doing it). well a friend wants this character (frank the rabbit from donnie darko) painted and so i would have to go on google and draw the image onto the canvas based off the picture. then i was going to give it my own design for the background and whatnot. so i just want to ask for this and future reference: would that be plagarizing? i've heard some people say as long as i write wherever i got it or who took the picture, etc. on the back then i'm fine. others have said that if you change it around enough it's considered your work and it's fine.
i can visualize what everything i want to paint looks like in my head, but then when i try to draw it it just looks bad so i like to use google images and stuff for references and then play around with it from there. (link)
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Nothing of the sort. You are painting your own painting of an image that exists within the public domain. Not to mention that the original image is of an actual costume, not a painting of a costume, so you aren't actually copying the original work in any real way. You're paining the original work, which is no different than painting a portrait of someone who's had a portrait painted of them before.
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So, in my analysis of whether or not the boy I like may have similar feelings I have done some research on body language. I came across "hands on hips" as a nearly giveaway sign that a guy is interested. So today I was in my class as usual and we play this review game right before tests. So when it was his turn to stand up he stood up and put his hands on his hips. Is this the giveaway sign that I read about? I mean, he wasn't talking to me or anything, he was simply standing up to answer a question. Though technically since he sits next to me he was facing my direction when he did it. Am I reading too much into this? It isn't exactly the only sign I've gotten from him, but I just found it really shocking when I saw him do this. Thanks guys. ;) (link)
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Body language is a lot more complex than just "this action means this thought/feeling"
Body language is subtle and individual with a ton of similar overtones. Psychology and physiology dictate certain reactions while larger gestures are often dependent on the person and their personality.
I'd say, in that situation, that hands on his hips was a sign of confident assertion of himself upon the world. In other words, you basically saw that he isn't a stage fright kind of person, and wasn't scared of being the center of attention.
Guy body language is all about eyes. Watch his eyes, and they'll tell you all you need to know. In other words, if he's checking you out, he's interested. Wear something sexy yet fairly conservative the next time you're around him. Something that makes you look hot without showing any skin. Showing cleavage or leg or thong straps give us a target we like looking at even if we're not particularly interested. Giving us no target at all lets you see if we're interested anyway.
Make eye contact. Bite your lip. Pretend to notice something that lets you turn your head and show a little neck (necks are sexy). Touch your hands to places you want him to look (subtly, like you're not really thinking about what you're doing yourself). Smile at him. Smiles are positive reinforcement, it lets him know that he's not fucking up so badly you're repulsed.
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This is so embarrassing! When my boyfriend fingers me I really like it and everything, but I just kind of sit there stiff as a rock because I don't know what to do. He thinks I don't like it. :-( The problem is I guess I am afraid if I moan or something he will be grossed out. So what should I do if anything?
18 female (link)
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You need to realize that you have no idea what you're talking or thinking about.
You're stiff because you assume(incorrectly) that guys don't like it when girls make noise. You don't know much of anything at this point, wouldn't it be smarter to try to find out?
He's your boyfriend, and sex can get awkward. If you can't deal with it and move on, you're winding yourself up way too much. You should do what makes you feel better, and what makes him feel better. If you don't know what makes him feel better, you should ask. If you don't know what makes you feel better, you should google whatever specific sex act you're curious about and read up suggestions for making it all it can be.
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okay im female 16 and have only had boyfriends
but lately ive been looking at lesbian porn :S i enjoy it .. does this mean im bi??? (link)
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Watching porn that does not offend you turns on just about anyone. All this really means is that you probably would be turned on by watching two girls have sex in real life. Congratulations, you belong to something like 90% of humanity.
The question you need to ask yourself is do you check out girls and get aroused. That would be alot more telling.
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i want to know (link)
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http://lmgtfy.com/?q=three+point+stance
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My entire family favors my younger sister over me for everything. She always gets all the attention, gets to do more stuff, and is handed stuff. On the other hand, I have always had to work for what I want. Now, my sister is 15 and my parents are getting her a car in a few months. And I'm 17 and I havent had a car yet because my parents are making me pay for it. They pay for her cell phone bill which is $50+ and they won't even get me one for much cheaper. I've always had to pay for my stuff, and its getting annoying how everything is being handed to her. With the stuff she gets in trouble with, she doesn't even deserve it. (link)
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In five years, you'll be thanking them. You have a work ethic, you understand the value of effort and you're no stranger to working for the shit you want.
Your sister is about to follow you into a world where she expects to be handed everything just like she always has and will be bitterly disappointed by the reality of work.
That said, you should ask your parents. Seriously. Sit them down and line out the things that your sister gets that you don't, and ask them why you don't get equal treatment.
It's an issue that deserves to be directly addressed. Do it when your sister is not around, not within earshot to interrupt, but you at least deserve an answer.
I won't sugar coat it. Parents are human beings too, and humans are imperfect. They might not realize what they're doing, they might not care, I don't know them so I can't say.
But, you should know that this is a fairly common phenomenon. The first child gets treated with kit gloves, and also often gets less because the parents are less financially established. They were worried they would screw up with you, and they obviously at this point feel that they didn't, so they loosened up.
It's not fair, bit you should be aware of the fact that it also represents a ridiculous level of confidence in you. Your sister is getting treated like this because they wanted to spoil the hell out of you, but were afraid to.
When you turned out the way you did, they consciously or unconsciously started loosening up assuming that your sister will at least be in the same ball park.
Thing is, how do you just say that the rules and things you put in place aren't as important as you thought? They made agreements with you to pay your car, they'd established a phone policy with you, how do they go back on what was logical and made sense before?
Talk to them. Tell them that you'd like a re-evaluation because you think that you and your sister should be held to similar standards or at least have similar levels of privileges available to you.
Work that angle. "Why is she allowed this and not me, if there's a reason I haven't earned having my phone or car paid for what do I need to prove that I deserve the same as my sister?"
Be earnest, honestly a little manipulation is not out of line here in my opinion. Let them feel guilty about it, and for that you need to keep anger under control and bleed hurt.
Feel free to drop me a line if you want feedback on new developments.
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I am seventeen, and I've had my period for about 4 years. It has always been regular [never late. always early or on time.] Right now it's 2 weeks late, and I know irregular periods are completely normal for someone who's had it for a couple years. But shouldn't it be pretty regular by now? I am NOT sexually active, so there is no way I am pregnant. (My mom is freaking out and telling me to confess already, ha.) Anyways, should I be a little worried that it's THIS late? (link)
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No.
My wife had irregular periods for the first few years of our relationship (her new birth control kicks ass apparently though). It's nothing to worry about.
Laugh at your mother. Then, go out tonight and buy cabbage, bbq sauce, and gummi bears, and make yourself a salad and eat it in front of her. Afterwards, go to your room like nothing happened, and quietly puke the disgusting shit you just ate to fuck with your mom. Glory in being seventeen.
::Edit::
And pickles or watermelon. You're not really pregnant unless you're eating pickles or watermelon.
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Is it illegal to take someone else's medicine that was prescribed to them? (link)
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Possession of a controlled substance. Technically theft. Minor Intoxication. Maybe public intoxication too, if you're anywhere but your own home. Depending on your local and state penal codes, maybe more, but that's three or four laws you'd definitely break in every state in the union.
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