Gender:
FemaleLocation:
MichiganAge:
18Member Since:
January 23, 2007Answers:
806Last Update:
June 16, 2008Visitors:
40132Main Categories:
Love Life
Pets
General Sex Questions
View All
about
My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
This is basically a disaster waiting to happen...but it could be fun. I'm going on a snowboarding trip in a few days, and theres about 4 guys going and i'm the only girl besides the girl leader. and well, one of the guys likes me. soooo awkward. i definitely don't like him, but i've started liking his best friend, who is also going. i haven't told anyone about it b/c i want to avoid drama. but everyone says the second guy likes me too, so my question is: if he does like me and tries to make a move, what should i do? or should i maybe act on it? i'm definitely not going to tell him i like him, but should i flirt more? he and i already flirt like mad crazy...
You need to make your feelings for the first guy clear: you are strictly friends and you have no other feelings for him. Of course you should flirt with the other guy! Just have fun and see what happens! Hope it works out! ;)
Around 2005 I met this guy, that is my boyfriend whom Iam with now. The problem is, i met his nephew first. Me and his nephew got to know each other and we hit it off pretty good. I met his nephew in may of 2005. We were friends and alot more. I happen to sleep with him, actually we were kind of in a relationship.when i first went over his house he introduced me to his uncle. His uncle is 22, and the nephew is 20. His uncle likes me, hes cool as ever. actually me and the uncle has alot in common, acutally more than me and the nephew as first. both were cool but i liked the uncle more actually i liked both.so i wind up messing with both of them. they both like me. However i didnt know they were related at first but later found out.Do you think they are talking about me or trying to compete over me. I am not with the uncle for 7 months, it seems the nephew wants to use me for sex. someone a strong women or man please give me advice.
You need to make up your mind. You need to decide which one you like better and stick to him. You're probably comfusing both of them right now. There's no reason you can't be friends with the person you reject. If the nephew is just using you for sex, I would suggest going for the other guy. Plus, you seem to like the uncle a lot more anyway, so why not just date him? Hope everything works out!
i like this guy but ive never hung out with him. weve just talked online. and yes i do know him in person. he has this gf and so i dont really want to like him but i cant help it and last night everything went wrong. me and his gf got in a fight and so now hes mad at me and deleted me as a friend on myspace and so we dont talk anymore. and so my friend sent him a messgae saying some stuff and he requested me but i was really mad at him and didnt approve him. but now i think i made a big mistake. wat should i do now?
If you really want to make things better between you and him, don't work it out online. A phone call and an apology will suffice WAY better than myspace. Seeing him in person would be even better.
recently, ive been messing up really bad. ive been drinking more. i started smoking weed about a month ago. ive started smoking cigs as well. i used to believe in abstinence, and i had sex with my friend the other night. not even my boyfriend, he was just my friend. the thing is, around people, i act normal. when im with my friends, i partially forget about all those things, i put them in the back of my mind. my family has no clue what goes on in my life. but when im by myself, i tend to think a lot. ive been thinking about these things a lot. ive been thinking about how i used to HATE smokers. and think that girls at this age who have sex are HUGE sluts. ive been telling myself that this is who i am now, &that im okay with it, but i dont know if i really am okay with it. i just don`t know what to do. i dont even know what my question is. maybe.. what should i do? i cant figure out if im okay with the way i am now or not. i just cant decide. i really dont know what to do. i want to be okay with it, but then im not. i want to hate myself for turning into everything that im against, but i cant.
Smoking, having sex, and drinking DO NOT make up who you are. It's all about the choices you make. Sure, you feel like you messed up now, but when you made those choices, you thought it was a good idea at the time. That is why you should never regret anything. Instead, try to learn from your experiences. Do you really want to be someone that ruins their life with drugs, alcohol, and sex?
I think you really need to take a good look at your life and everything that is going on. I want you to back a list of things in your life that make you happy and things that make you unhappy and/or cause you pain in ANY way. Then I want you to take the list of things that make you unhappy and figure out how you can change them for the better. For example, say you are upset that you lost your virginity so soon. Fix it by vowing to yourself that you will be more responsible and true to your personal feelings next time and not just physical.
Then, take the list of things that make you happy and surround yourself with those things. If you love hanging out with your friends, spend time with them and start a girl's night.
The best advice I can give you is to take your habits of drinking and smoking and put them behind you. All they will do is cost you your health and money and get you into trouble. No good whatsoever will come out of doing those things.
hey.. just a quick question..
ok ill put it in this prospective..
everytime i try to talk to my guy about 'serious' stuff, like how i feel about things, things in general, such as if hes upset me by saying or doing something without relising or just anything in general, he always goes all quiet and wierd. so now i just avoid talking to him about anything that might cause some conflict, i avoid confrentation basically. ive been with him for 7 months now, and i think were at the stage were i can tell him wat i think about things, how do i get him to open up, without me asking the questions first?
any help would be great. thanks
I say you need to confront him about the whole thing right away. 7 months is a long time and there is no reason for him to not listen to you. If he's not willing to work these things out with you, maybe you need to consider some time apart. The relationship will never work if you two can't talk to each other. I understand you don't want to upset him or anything, I've been in that situation before, but in the end, if you don't confront him about how you are feeling, it will only get worse.
Okay so I'm 15 years old, 5'4", 110 lbs. Normal weight, right? Yeah. My mother keeps giving me a hard time about my eating habits just because I tend to eat one meal and maybe one or two snacks per day. It's not like I want to lose weight, I just don't feel like eating most of the time and I don't get hungry very often. Yet she bugs me about eating all the time. Why should I eat when I'm honestly not hungry and don't feel like eating? That's gluttony, which is a sin and very unhealthy for you. I'm sorry, but I just don't do that or eat when I'm bored. I think it's gross to do that. How can I get her to understand that I'm not anorexic or anything, just not that hungry?
I think you are failing to understand why exactly your mom is worried about you. It's not that she thinks you have an eating disorder, she wants you to be healthy and get the nutrition you need. If you really aren't hungry that much, make sure you take vitamins and eat foods that are good for you when you do eat. That should make your mom happy. Hope everything works out.
Ok yeah so I had sex and it was hurting down there! 3days have gone by and i am still hurting!! I am bleeding but it is not like i am on my period or anything! It only bleeds when i go to the bath room anyways is this pain goin to go away?? And what does it mean??
~15/f
The reason for the bleeding is that your hymen has torn. Since sex causes a lot of friction, that is why you are so sore. Plus, since you are only 15, you may not be fully developed, which can also cause pain. Don't have sex again until the bleeding stops. If it doesn't stop within a week, def. go to a doctor.
In the future, make sure to try and urinate after you have sex. That sounds weird, but trust me, the urine will clean out the area and it can prevent infection.
Also, make sure to tell your partner if he is hurting you. Yes, sex hurts the first few times, but after so long, it does stop. So if it still hurts, you need to try different positions that are safe and comfortable for both of you.
does anyone know where i can find like ALOT of pictures of jt from season one of degrassi?
I MISS JT HE WAS SO AWESOME!!! *SNIFFLE*
Anyway... go look at www.the-n.com
or google his name, "ryan cooley," and check out his fan sites.
When you're about to wear your acne medication, SHOULD you wash your face before you put it on? Should you use hot water or cold water? because hot water will open it up so that if i put the medicine it'll like get rid of the pimple and make it go away right? but maybe if i use cold water and the pimple is already closed, then with the medicine it'll go away faster
YES! Wash your face with soap and warm water BEFORE applying medicine!
ok well recently one of my best friends max just transferred schools...a couple days ago so that day at school when i found out i was crying hysterically...i cried 3 times that day and cried again twice the next day and again the next night and i know i will continue with this. i think i might be depressed. im sad all the time and i have a lot of back pain which they say is a symptom. on google i looked up symptoms of depression and i have all but one and they listed about 15-18. im constantly thinking about max now that he left and i really need help! i dont know how to talk to my parents because i act like im happy and you'd never guess i was depressed if u saw me around people. if i try to tell them theyll be like..."ohh honey youre not depressed if you were you'd be acting like ____" when while they arent around im acting like that. they wouldnt get me medicine without knowing the cause and its really embarassing to say "well because max transferred" and theyll be like "oh its just a phase it will pass" but they dont know how i felt about him even though im only 13/f and have only known him for about 4+ months. what do i do?
It's hard dealing with losing a friend. Perhaps you will feel better if you keep in contact with him. Send him emails and call him every once in awhile. If that doesn't help, talk to your school counselor for advice to make you feel better. If the counselor thinks it is serious enough, he or she will contact your parents.
Always try to focus on positive things: at least you still have your other friends, at least nothing bad happened to max and you can still talk to him etc. You know more about the good things in your life than I do.
Not to sound rude, but things are only as bad as you make them. If you sit around, cry, and feel sorry for yourself, you're not going to get better anytime soon.
So do what I told you: keep in touch with Max, appreciate your blessings, and spend time doing things you love.
the boy i like doesnt go out with my best friend but he makes out with my best friend and she knew i liked him, they dont actually go out ... hes free to date anyone but he likes me but wont go out with me cuz im her friend and he said it would be akward.
wat to do ?????????
p.s. im really in love with him!!!! im 15 and a female
Dear Confused,
Since the guy is not willing to have a relationship with you and make out with your friend whenever he feels like it, I think it's time to move on. Your so-called friend isn't being such a great friend because she is doing things with the guy you like: definately off limits in my book. It's time to ditch both of them and move on. It's sounds to me like he doesn't even like you or else he would be making out with you and not your friend. There are other fish in the sea.
hello, i have a question.. we all no that at the start of a relationship that its great, all the attention and excitment.. but wat about in 6 months time. ive goten my relationship to 7 months now, and most the affection has stopped the little things he used to do has stopped and i asked him if he was only geniunly happy to see me after he haddent seen me in a while.. he went quiet, then i felt bad for asking.. he said that were different, but he still felt the same. he said that he gets excited over fishing and camping, thats wat he loves the most. so is that giving me the hint that im not the right girl for him or is it just something else..how do i fix this situation? i dont no where hes coming from. please help im so confused.
thankyou
This happens if every relationship that lasts so long. The first few months of dating, you can't stand to be away from each other for more than one day. As time goes on, you kind of get tired of being around the same person so long. If you want to salvage this relationship, give each other some space every now and then. Let him have a weekend to go fishing and camping so you can have a weekend to spend time with your girlfriends. If he really loves you, he will miss seeing you after spending a few days apart. Maybe once you two get past the exciting part of starting a relationship and getting into having a calm, serious relationship, ask him if you can go fishing and camping with him.
The key when things get like this is to spend a few days away from each other and everything will be just fine.
Ok so i am kind of shy on this subject but my b.f. and i have had sex a cupple times with protection of course but anyways um...well the first cupple times i did not hurt me but then it started to hurt!! I was bleeding like a cupple days after and it has been hurting for the last 2 days!! Is this normal?? Am i goin to be fine?? I am so wored...so write me bak k. o by the way i am 15/f.
Relax. Your body just needs time to adjust to sex. The first few times, it will hurt. Make sure to wait a few days inbetween each time you have sex so your body has time to relax. Since sex causes a lot of friction down there, it will be sore. Plus, since you're 15, you may not be fully developed yet and you may not be able to accomodate a penis inside of you. The bleeding is from your torn hymen. Just wear a pad until the bleeding goes away. If you keep bleeding within a week, and it's not your period, I would suggest seeing a doctor, but I don't think it will come to that.
If you find that it continues to hurt, try doing different positions. If this is both yours and you boyfriend's first experiences with sex, you need to experiment and find positions that are comfortable with the both of you. If he is hurting you, tell him so he can do something different.
And btw, don't be embarassed. Sexual curiosity is totally healthy and I'm so happy to hear that you are practicing safe sex. Too many stupid people on this website don't.
Just let me know if you need to know anything else.
So this Valentines Day, I want to go all out for a gift for my boyfriend. I was thinking of baking him a giant heart cookie with some cute decorations on it, but I thought that it may be too common. I want to do something out of the ordinary for him. I have already tried google, and I couldn't find something unique.
So what do you think could be a cute, creative gift?
And it doesn't have to be something he likes or anything like clothes or things of that nature.
Make him a CD with all of yours and his favorite love songs. Buy him one of those giant cards (come on... EVERYONE loves those!). Be creative and write a poem for him. And I think the giant cookie is a great idea!
Okay, so I'm confused when to use an ice pack or a heat pad if you:
Sprain something
Pull a muscle
Muscle ache
Cramp
Feet hurting from walking too much
From wearing heels
From uncomfortable shoes
AHH!! I just don't know when to put what..help?
All those injuries can be helped with an ice pack and a heat pad. First, keep the ice on it for ten-fifteen minutes to bring down the swelling. And then apply the heat to relax the muscles.
The only thing that wouldn't need ice is cramps. Just heat can help that.
When guy and girl are having intimate relations what do girls like the most when your trying to pleasure her...
Just be really sensual. Kiss her breasts and her stomach and touch her. It makes girls feel beautiful and sexy.
haha alright so, i have never had sex. and i was just wondering...
1) does it hurt?
2) do you bleed?
3) are u supposed to shave down there? like everywhere down there, before you have sex?
4) if so..how? what do you use? because waxing must KILL.
5) is the guy supposed to shave down there?
6) how does he know where to put ...*it*?
thats all for now. thanks a lottttttt.
1) Yes. It will hurt a lot the first few times.
2) Some girls do and some girls don't. It really depends on you.
3) You do not have to shave down there. Do what makes you feel comfortable.
4) Waxing isn't the only option. You can use regular shaving creme and a razor, just make sure to shave in the direction that the hair grows to avoid irritation.
5) Some guys do and some don't. It's up to them.
6) Most guys find out by fingering the girl before entering her. It's all about experimentation and finding a position that is best for the two partners.
15/f
I shave my pubic hair and I have a few questions.
1) Shaving leaves irration and red bumps.. how do I prevent this or make it go away quickly?
2) How often should I shave, when I get stubble or when my hairs get longer and softer?
Thanxx!
To make sure you don't get red bumps, use plenty of soap (or creme whichever you use to shave) and be sure to shave in the direction that the hair grows.
Wait until the hair gets a little longer before you shave again, simply because there is a less chance of getting irritation.
I have a bump "down there" and Im worried about what it is..Its kind of big for a pimple & its a little red. It also hurts when I put pressure on it. could it be a boil? how do i get rid of this bump?!
If you shave down there, then it is probably an ingrown hair. Just leave it alone and it will come back out on it's own. You get them from not being careful when you shave. Make sure you move the razor in the direction of hair growth to make sure you don't get them anymore.
ok so i've always been like a really good girl and stuff.. all honors, does extracirriculars, doesn't fight with parents, the whole deal. well this summer(after freshman year) i started drinking just to have fun but now its gotten me in a little bit of trouble. k. so when i was really drunk with my friends with decided to call up this senior kid who is friends with my friend.so he comes to the house at like 2. and ALL of us kinda take turns hooking up with him... but i only let him go to like.. a little past 1st. sooo the next day he IMs me and is like hey wanna hang out? and so im like sure and we've hung out a few times and now i think i really like him... but ever since that first time we've never done anything physical. my question is do you think its trashy to go out with him because we met so awkwardly? and do you think my drinking has gotten out of hand because of the situation its put me in? thx. 15/f by the way.
My advice, stop the drinking. No good will come out of it. Next, before you consider going out with this guy, consider this: he came over that night and fooled around with you and ALL your friends. Why would you want to date a guy that does that many girls in one night? Who's to say he wouldn't do that while you two were dating?
I'm not saying you are trashy. But I hope you reconsider dating him.