Although I am only 18 I have been through more than most adults have. If you have any questions about drugs, suicide, or family problems then I can help you out a lot. I've had to deal with all of that and I want to try and help people before they get as involved in it as I was. I will try to understand your situation the best that I can and give the best advice that I can. So ask me anything and I will answer you.
Gender: Female
Location: boston
Age: 18
Member Since: April 27, 2005
Answers: 110
Last Update: November 25, 2007
Visitors: 6650
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I know this is going to sound really stupid but how do you know if you are REALLY being abused. I mean sometimes parents hit their kids but they don't beat them. So what's the difference between a parent who abuses their kid and one who just hits them sometimes? (link)
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It sounds like you pretty already know the answer to this question but basically any parent who hits their kid is abusive. It's true that sometimes a parent my loose their temper and hit their child once. The kery word there is once. If a kid is being abused it means that their parent(s) is hitting them all the time. Abuse doesn't always have to be physical either sometimes kids are emotionally abused. Their parents will always tell them that they are worthless or are just plain mean to them.
I hope I helped and just in case this is a question that relates to your life...I am here is you ever need to talk.
I hope I helped
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SORRY THAT IT'S LONG
Today my friend and I were sitting together in the gym and we were getting in our groups for our graduation trip. We promised each other we'd stay in the group together - just us, we actually even needed 2 more people in the group -since about three months ago. Well, we wanted to be in a group with 3 other girls, but you were only allowed four per group, but they made an acception of five if you really had to. My friend and I asked if we could room with them- they said no - two of the three girls like me.
About 5 minutes later.. she gets called over by them. I'm sitting there by myself talking to other people and she "sends a message down" saying that she's gonna stay in their group. Luckily, I found another friend to room with.
Do I have the right to be pretty ticked off, and if she apologizes or not, should I say it was rude? (link)
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No, you have every right to mad about it. I would feel the exact same way. If she does apologize to you tell her how you feel about it but try not to be mean about it. If she's apologizing then she realizes that she was wrong and that she might haver hurt you so just make sure she knows how you feel about it but try to be nice about it. If she doesn't apologize then let her know that you feel that what she did was wrong and rude. Again try not to sound too too mad but make sure that she understands how you feel.
Good luck and I hope things work out between you and your friend
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(15/F) I have two best friends, and I'm either with one or the other. I don't have any other 'good friends' in school. Everyone is already settled with their own group of friends and I feel so alone when I'm not with my best friends. I think girls view me as a snob though, because I do have more guy friends and honestly I'm attractive. How do I get more friends and find people my age that I have stuff in common with? I don't want to come off as desperate or dorky but I do need more girl friends to hang out with. (link)
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Try talking to other people. If you sit beside someone in a class try to be super nice and have a conversation with them. Just try to be as nice as humanly possible to people. They will start to warm up to you and then before you know it you'll have more friends. Just be nice they won't think your desperate or dorky unless you walk up to them and say "will you be my friend because I need more" and I doubt that you're planning on doing that. Just be youself around people and try being really nice.
Good luck I hope I helped
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My dad died a month ago and ever since then my mom's been really happy. They used to fight all the time and they were going to get divorced because of it. But ever since he died she's been soo happy and she's been going out with all of these different guys most of which hit me or her. If I ever even mention my dad or I cry about it she starts screaming at me and telling me that I'm a pathetic baby. I loved my dad he was soo good to my mom he tried so hard to make it work between the two of them for me and my older sister (she moved out before he died). I hate my mom she's put us through so much and I just can't stand her. So recently I've been staying with some of my friends a lot and I tried LSD. It was really great and it helped me a lot just to get away from everything that's been going on. I've heard all the horror stories about drugs but I just can't believe that they would be true. Well my question is is there anyway for me to get away from my mom so I don't have to deal with her always being a bitch to me and hitting me? And are drugs really as bad as people make them out to be or are the stories just bullshit like they are for LSD?
(link)
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First I just want to say that I am soo sorry about your dad and if you ever need to talk just let me know and I'll be there to talk.
Now, you need to get away from your mom. If she wants to be happy about your father that's her mistake but she has no right to hit you or not consider your feelings. He was your father and no matter what she says you have the right to cry for him and want to talk about it. You need to get out of that house. It's good that you have been staying with a friend but if that friend is the one that got you started with the drugs then you really need to find somewhere else to stay. I know from experience that drugs are as bad as people make them out to be. You obviously had a good trip and I'm not going to lie to you I know what it's like it's an incredible experience but it is not worth it. Once you get caught up in drugs it is extremely hard to get away from it. I've been clean for a year now and it is still extremely hard for me to resist them. If you think drugs will make things better for you you are wrong. They only make things worse.
The stories are not bullshit. Like you the first drug I tried was LSD and it turned me on to other drugs. Pretty soon drugs were my life. I was putting my life and the lives of the people that I loved in danger. If you get caught up in this (which you will if you continue to use) it will not help you it will make your life a living hell. Again if you ever need to talk let me know and I will be there for you.
Good luck and things will get better if you stay away from the drugs.
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Hey guys,
I'm 14/f and I'm going to be turning 15 on May 18th, so I was going to see if I could get a tattoo with my older sister. I don't know where I would get one though, and Idk what to get a tattoo of. If anyone can, please let me know what you think would look good to get, or what would be sexy. Also, if you can, please let me know where you think it is best to get one at, or where they look really good on people. I've never gotten one before, but if any of you have ever gotten one before, or know someone who has can you please let me know whether it hurts really badd or not? I can take pain pretty much. I only have my ears and bellybutton pierced, so I'm sure I should be able to get a tattoo. Alright, if you can please give me some ideas of what to get!!!! Thank you so much!!!! I'll rate you a 5 if you atleast try to answer. (link)
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I don't have any tattoos but my friend got a tattoo of a rose that's on her ankle. The stem of it like wraps around her ankle and it looks really good. I was with her when she got it and it bleeds a lot but it didn't seem like it hurt her that badly and she's not that good with pain. I don't know where you live so I don't know anyone who's good in your area. Sorry I couldn't be more help
Good luck
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okay well, my best friend and i, we just got super close, and well yeah. He has a girlfriend, but before they hooked up I told him i liked him like 3 weeks ago, and things got odd, but then got better. Anyway. So everyday he sits with me when the lunch periods almost over, and we talk, and even though his friends sit at the table right next to us and theyre right there, he wont talk to them and he talks to me. So a couple days ago i went to his house with my friend and he just payed more attention to me. Like when we were playing basketball he passed the ball to me every time and never to her. Then today, he was sitting with me and we were looking at pictures, and we could have been far appart but he leaned in really close. And then my friend dom told him this sixth grader didnt like him anymore, and he's like, okay i dont care im not cheating on my girlfriend, i dont think, and he looked me directly in the eye and we made eye contact and he stared at me for a minute and then some one started talking to us. So then at this assembly thingy, 2 of the people he sits with said something about stabbing him, like joking around, so i told him, and he was like, what nicks not my friend. and so i told nick and hes like, shut up bitch, in a playing way, but i told him anyway, and he was like, Yo, WHAT DID YOU CALL HR? WHAT? and then later today he was like, i would have said something but our reading teacher was right behind us. and i we kept talking and anyway im just wondering if he thinks were more than just friends??
and i have another question. today he had a break down and he was like, i dont have any friends, the only people i have is my girlfriend and you and my other friend, and me and his other friend are REALLY worried that he's going to like kill himself, because when we told him to hold on he said he'd held long enough. What can i do to help him? (link)
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It sounds like he really likes you and like he wants to be more than just friends. The thing is he has a girlfriend so he probably knows that you are just friends but wants to be more than that. As for him wanting to kill himself just talk to him. Let him know that you are there if he needs to talk and that you don't want him to hurt himself. He has friends and people who care about him and if he knows that then he won't kill himself.
Good luck and I hope things work out with your friend
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To all of you girls out there! Is it true that sometimes when you get your period your face can breakout?
Thanks (link)
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Yes it is true. It doesn't always happen and it doesn't happen to everyone but it does happen.
Hope I helped
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sorry is this is long but I really need help so please don't skip over it
Ok my parents have been divorced my whole life I don't even know who my dad is. Well my mom has serious problems with finding guys. They usually beat her or cheat on her. I've had about a dozen stepfathers and all of them treat her like shit and she doesn't deserve that. Well my newest stepfather Richie has been with my mother for 2 years now and she is really happy with him. I've never seen my mom this happy before. He is soo nice to her. But the thing is he has a son (my stepbrother) who is constantly hitting me and raping me. I tried talking to my mom about it and she said that she would talk to my stepdad and my stepbrother. She did and then it stopped for a little while but then he did it again and it was even worse than it was before. He had a couple of his friends over and they thought that it would be fun to beat and rape his 14 year old step sister. I talked to my stepdad and he told me to stop making things up. He told my mother that I was making things up and they sent me to a shrink. Needless to say my stepbrother continued to do these things to me. I confronted my mother again and she told me to talk to my stepdad. I did and he told me that I was lying and that even if I wasn't I needed to get over it because we are a happy family and we all have to make sacrifices I told him that that was wrong and he hit me! Now he's been hitting me too when my mom isn't around. I don't know what to do. She is soo happy and she deserves to be. I don't want to ruin this for her. My question is should I just deal with this so that she can be happy or is there anyway that I can get help without ruining this for her? (link)
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No you shouldn't just deal with this and you should get help no matter what. I don't think that your mom would want this to be happening to you. You need to talk to her. I'm sure that she would not want this to be happening. She didn't allow the men in her life to hit her so I certainly don't think she would want them to be hitting and raping her daughter. You don't deserve that. Think about this if she stays with him and he continues to do this to you he will probably start to hurt her too. He has probably done this kind of thing before because his son is doing it to you. You need to get help ASAP. Talk to your mom and if she won't help you then you need to go to a school counselor or the police you need to get away from those guys or you are going to end up in a hospital or worse you could end up dead. Do you think your mom would want that? That would not make her happy.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you
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okay so im not like fat but i dont hae a flat stomache and i liek take my moms diet pills and take them every morning, i dont really think they do anything but who knows.. i just wanna like get a flat stomache i think i need to do sit up to this tape i have but idk i dont ever have time and i dont wanna like throw up all the food i eat i think thats gross but does it work faster than sit ups?? (link)
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Making yourself throw up will make your stomach flatter faster than doing sit ups but don't do it. I was bulimic for 5 years and I'm still not completely over it. It is not a good thing to do. Although sit ups will take longer and take more time it is safer. Making yourself throw up is NOT worth it. You will become addicted to it and pretty soon you will be extremely skinny. Stick to sit ups trust me it is much better for you and it will start to work.
Good luck
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hey my name is Ashley and i'm a feamle(of course) and i'm 14 yrs. old heres my question for anybody with good advice!!!
I like my best friends ex!!! Heres the scoop... they broke up because my best friend was confused and she cheated on him. Well now(two months later) she starts telling me she now knows what she was missing and she really did love him and she wants desperately to go with him again. Now i've been talking to him since they broke up because he needed a friend cuz he really liked her but she cheated on him.(yea i kno guys actually have feelings...well at least the good ones) and i'm starting to like him now i mean he's the perfect boyfriend he's cute, hilarious, loving, i don't know he's just soOoOo great!! the thing is that my best friend who i've been friends with for almost 11 yrs. still "loves" him i really really think she'll be so mad if he askes me out or if i ask him. I dont know what to do cuz i dont want her to be mad at me but i dont get very many guys nowadays and i really like him and he told me i was hot yesterday please help me!!
Luv,
~~~ASHLEY~~~
P.S. i rate high
(link)
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That is a tough spot to be in. The thing you have to figure is who you care the most about. Do you value your friendship with her more or do you want to risk it for a guy that you like. I think that you shouldn't get involved with him. She's your best friend and she has told you that she has feelings for him and if you get involved with him then she will probably be very upset. You can still be friends with him but I don't think that you should get into a relationship with him. There will be other boys that you will like and if it is really meant to be with him then it will happen later on in life when things aren't so messed up between him and your friend. A friendship that has lasted 11 years isn't worth risking for a guy. Stay friends with him but don't get involved in a relationship situation when your friend still has feelings for him. I hope I helped
Good luck and I hope things work out
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I'm doing a project on bulimia and need to know the different ways they have by throwing up and what it does when you do it. Please help me out thanks. (link)
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People who are bulimic usually make themselves throw up by sticking their fingers down their throats until they get sick. They will usually have tooth decay. They are usually focused on figuring out when they are going to binge next. They will probably eat a little bit in from of people and then use the bathroom right away and after every meal. They will probably have a lot of breath mints and chew gum a lot so that people can't smell the vomit on their breathe. I hope this helps and good luck with your project.
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Me and my girlfriend are in a delema she is makeing a dission between me or another guy she says she is confused. and she says she loves me but my point of view is if she loves me as much as she says she does then i would this it would be no comp. I love her like no other. Im thinking she is playing both sides she wants me to be here if she picks the other guy and it goes wrong with them. my prob is what should i do if she picks him. I would hope she'd pick me though. (link)
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If she picks him then I'm sorry to say this but you need to try and move on. Even though you love her. If she picks him and things don't work and then you let her come back to you then she might do this agian. You need to tell her how you feel. Let her know that you want to be with her but if she doesn't want to be with you then you have to try and move on. I'm sorry that you have to go through this.
Good luck and I hope things work out with you and your girlfriend
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my bff lives in a diff. coournty and resentlly her soo called friends over there were talking crap bout her and were being really REALLY snotty to her! Well i emailed them both and told them off with my friend here (she is also that girl's bff). Well i think that it got them into even a more fight and they h8 her even more now we apologized but now they are being really REALLY horrible to us!! What should we do????
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Don't apologize to them they should apologize they had no right to do that to her and you did the right thing by sticking up for her. Is she mad at you for what you did? If she's not mad about then don't worry about it you did the right thing. She doesn't need friends who will treat her like that she should make new friends who will be nice to her and stick up for her like you have. If she is mad at you then you need to talk to her. Tell her why you did and tell her that she doesn't need friends like that and that you were just trying to be a good friend and stick up for her.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you and your friend
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17/f
I'm not going to prom b/c i have an AP physics final test two days later and i don't want to get distracted. But, my friends are mad at me b/c they are seniors and its our last year to go to a dance as a big group-their being mean "subtley"-like they'll slip in some mean things-wat do i do? and how do i not feel so miserable? (link)
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I think you should go to prom. It will be really fun and you will probably have a great time with your friends. If you have a finaly two days later then you will still have time to prepare and study for it one night of fun isn't going to hurt you. However if you really feel strongly about not going then just talk to your friends. Explain to them why you're not going and tell them that you've noticed that they have been being mean and that it has been making you miserable. They should stop if they realize that they are really hurting you.
Good luck and I hope things get better between you and your friends
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Ever since my grandpa died, my family started spliting apart. It's full of hate. One of my uncles is very mean and grumpy towards everyone else now because of his job. He especially takes it out on me. When he critisizes me, I have to keep quiet and agree because if I don't he will yell louder and call me disrespectful. I really do not like him telling me how to live my life and yelling at me for the littlest reasons. I can't talk to him because he is very stubborn. I can't avoid him because he lives next door to me. Someone please help..he's making me feel bad and breaking our whole family apart because of his opinions. (link)
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That's a tough situation to be in. If you talk to back to him then it is disrespectful even if he is completely wrong just for the simple fact that he's older than you. I'm sorry to say that you really can't do anything in this situation but try to ignore him. I know that sucks but I don't see any other way to deal with this. Avoid him as much as possible. You said that you really can't avoid him so that will be hard but maybe you could try to be out with your friends more or just out of the house. Even if you do that you will still probably have confrontations wih him and you really have no choice but to just take it. Depending on how old you are you will probably be able to get away from him in a few years. Until then just avoid him as much as humanly possible and try to ignore him when he critizes you. I'm sorry that I can't be much help but you are in a touch situation.
Good luck and I hope that things get better for you
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I have seen my report card since 8th grade (I'm now in 11th). Ever since my sister started high school (she's a year older than me) she started throwing away both of our report cards because she doesn't want my parents to see them. My parents did notice at first and called the schools and everything and they schools told them that they don't know what's going on because they've been sending them. So, my parents kind of forgot about it. I didn't really care about it but now I do! I have no idea how I'm doing in school. I think I'm failing half my classes but I don't actually know. I have no idea what my GPA is either (we get it in about 3 weeks but I don't know what to expect). It's completely unfair that I don't get so see my report card because my sister doesn't want my parents to see hers. I've told her before to just throw hers away and not mine but she was like "No, then they'll figure it out." I've also tried asking her to at least just let me see it and then she can throw it away. She agreed at first but then "accidentally" threw it away. She already got into the college she wanted to get in and my parents are all proud of her and whatnot so I don't get it! What else should I do? And no, I won't tell my parents about it. Other than this, my sister and I are really close so I don't want to do that to her. (link)
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Go to the school and tell them that you lost or never recieved yours. They should have copies of your grades. Go to a counselor and tell them that you never got one and you would either like to see your grades or would like a copy of your report card. You don't have to show your parents and you can throw it away once you've looked at it so your sister won't get mad at you.
Good luck and I hope it works out
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hey.. i have a VERRRY bad situation. My mom and dad are getting a divorce and i dont know what to do! Is it my fault? What can i do (if possible) to get them back together? i love my mom and my dad but when they yell and scream its hard for me to love either one of them.... plz plz plz help!! Everytime i think about it it makes me cry!! (link)
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Ok first you need to calm down. It's not your fault at all you did nothing wrong so don't ever think that it's your fault. You can't get them back together they have made a decision to split up and you have no control over that. You said that they are always yelling and screaming and that it makes things hard for you. That's most likely why they are getting a divorce they can't be together anymore they don't like the argueing just like you don't like the argueing. Think of it this way would you rather see your parents unhappy together and always fighting or happy away without each other and not having to hear them fight? It's normal to be upset about this they are your parents and you love them you want them to stay together but if they are always fighting then they are better off apart. It doesn't mean that they will love you any less they just can't be together anymore. Try talking to your parents seperately and tell them how you feel. They can probably help you deal with your feelings better than anyone else can. It is going to be difficult but things will get better for you.
Good luck and things will be ok
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13 female
when i was born i lived with my grandparents becasue my mom had a bad life. she sold drugs and lived in alot of places wich we not suitable for kids. and so when i was 2 my mom came to my house drunk and kidnapped me. my grandma didnt try to get me beacue my mom was way stronger then her and so she just let me go. * i dont live with my dad becasue when i was born i was a mistiake and my dad is a player* so my mom went to jail and some lady returnded me when my mom was gone *but now me and my mom are okay* . and so when i was 4 it was the FIRST time i ever saw my dad but i couldnt really see him becasue it was like 10 o clock at night and he didnt want to come inside. and after that visit from when i was 4 i counted the days weeks months hours years miutes and seconds from the last time i saw my father. and finally i saw my dad again when i was 10 and he expected me to act like nothing happened and he was like all can i have a hug blah blah blah and my grandpa told him that if he wanted to come that day he just cant leave me again and yes he did.. he didnt come back and i didnt hear from him or anything and im 13 and i havent heard from him in 3 years but its not like i want to or anything. i just have mixed emotions. and im the "tough" one at my school because i dont open up or talk about my feelings. well at night i dream about me and my sister haveing this "Perfect" family with my mom and my dad but then something happends to me and my dream shows a picture of my dad getting killed and my mom dying ( my sister has a different dad and i have like 3 other sisters that have different moms and i dont even know them) but after my dream i wake up with tears in my eyes and me all sweaty. but heres the thing.. i want my life to be good. but i dont want anything to do with my dad and my dad is gonna try and talk to me over the summer and my other grandmaw too but i just dont want to be a part of them. my questions are.. how can i tell them i dont want anything to do with them. and what do i do about these dreams, and how can i open up and talk about my feelings
sorry its long but ill rate 5's to any good answer (link)
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I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I think that you should just talk to your dad. If he is trying to make an effort to see you then talk to him. Tell him that you don't want to see him and then not see him for years. Tell him that if he wants to be a part of your life then he has to be there all the time. About your dreams I think that you should try to talk to someone that you really trust about what you're feeling and maybe they'll stop. Maybe you have a friend that you can talk to who you know will listen to you and help you through this. Maybe evne a school counselor. I think that maybe if you talk about your feelings your dreams will stop.
Good luck I hope I helped a little and I hope that things get better for you
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Okay..Theres this girl...her name is Chelsea..and shes 15 (like me). Okay..so in the begining of the year..i met Chelsea..and everything was cool. But now, shes like, been making me mad. Shes wayy wayy too clingy and stuff. I tried to hint to her that shes annoying before..but it just didnt work. Ugh. How could i tell her that i dont like her..and that shes annoying without straight out telling her that?? Thanks..i rate high for good advice!! (link)
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I don't think that there really is a way to do that. If you don't just tell her then she's going to think you're kidding or that you don't really mean it. I think you just talk to her. Tell her how you feel but try to do it in a nice way. Don't just be like I hate you I think you're really anoying. Try telling her that you enjoyed hanging out with her before but she's started to get annoying and you don't like it. Maybe if you confront her she'll realize that she's annoying you and she'll stop being annoying. And if not at least she will know how you feel.
Good luck
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My brother died 2 weeks ago and I really don't know what to do. I lived with him because my mom died 3 years ago and my dad used to beat and rape me. He was more like a father than a brother to me and I really don't know what to do. I've been staying with my friend until I get a foster family and she is always asking me if I'm ok and I'm really not. I don't know what to do with myself. I even tried drugs and I've been drinking a lot. I just want to kill myself and I'm so scared of what's going to happen next. I love him soo much and he was pretty much all that I had and now he's gone. I haven't even cried because I just can't, does that mean that there's something wrong with me? Why can't I just cry like normal people do when something happens to them? I really think that I'm a horrible because I can't even cry for my own brother. Please help me (link)
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No, there is nothing wrong with you. Just because you can't cry doesn't make you a horrible person. People all react to things differently. You obviously cared about him. You just can't react to it yet. It will hit you eventually and you will cry. You are obviously feeling pain about this because you have been drinking and doing drugs. You need to stop doing that it's not good for you. You also need to stop thinking about killing yourself it's not worth it. You need to live your life to the fullest that's what your brother would have wanted. I know what it feels like to lose someone close to you. It's an awful feeling. But you can get through this. Your brother would have wanted you to. "Things always get better in the end and if they don't then it's not the end." Try to remember that.
I hope things get better for you and remember you can get through this
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