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January 5, 2009Answers:
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I got pregnant & had a baby last month. My boyfriend got me pregnant because he didn't want to use a condom so it's all his fault. I only let him see my daughter when we go out like on a date but she don't stay with him at all & I care for her all the time. Mom said he needs to be a man and support us since he's the one that got me pregnant. I told him I want him to get a job after school and give me money to support my daughter because I'm in school too and I can't raise a baby and go to school AND work a job. He needs to take responsibility. He got mad and was like it's just as much his fault as it is mine that I got knocked up and he was real mad about it all and said if I make him pay me money then he's gonna break up with me and leave me. Mom said to take him to court if he won't pay me money for my daughter and I think she's right that he needs to man up or whatever but then I feel bad because I don't want him to break up with me. Should I go after him to make him pay me childsupport or what?
I think you need to check yourself on a couple of things before you do anything. First, you need to accept that your daughter's father is just as much of a parent as you are, and it's not right for you to dictate when and where you're going to let him see his daughter. Second, it doesn't sound like this guy is very old, so chances are he doesn't make a lot of money. If he is willing to give you 50.00 a week, I wouldn't push it with him. You might end up with less than that in your child support order.
My advice to you: your child's father should be your comrade, and if it's possible to work it out with him without involving "the system" I would do so. Chances are, he loves his daughter very much and wants what's best for her. He needs to understand that this money is necessary and you need to be able to count on his help.
Also, your mother is your best friend, and she usually has your best interest at heart, but also, she's not the boss here, you are. Please do not allow your mother to interfere with your relationship with your child's father. Hear her advice, but listen to your brain. You are a mother now, and you have to get used to the idea of making decisions for your daughter.
You should consider your child's father as your partner, even if the two of you are not together. Never use your child in your fights with im, or as leverage. If you want your daughter to be mentally healthy, you must always let her know you respect and value her father's opinion (unless he is truly a bad person) because you know he wants the best for you both. Remember, you are no more a parent than he is just becuase you are a woman. You are equals, and it will take a lot of compromise.
what do i do about this?
i am an 18 y/0 female.
sorry this is long!!
ok well to sum it up, ive been dating this guy for about 8 months. Thats a really long time for me. I also lost my virginity to him. In the past I have caught him lying, but after we broke up for a week he swears up and down he wont ever lie again. I love him with everything. I am completely attached to this boy. But last night I saw something I really wished i wouldnt have.
(dont judge me here please)
I was logged on to his facebook. the only reason i was, was to look at this girls pictures ( i couldnt look at her from mine because we wernt friends.)
Anyways while i was logged into his facebook a notification popped up saying
something like "heyyyy 817 997 6623" i didnt even see it long enough to see the number or girl bc it was deleted. ( i guess he was on with his own phone)
now keep in mind, we have a strict rule not to text or talk to the oppisite sex. Espically to not hide it from each other.
this really kills me that i saw this. It makes me think is he cheating on me? who is this girl? why is he hiding it?
& idk what to do because i cant confront him. im crying right now typing this because it kills me to think he is cheating on me, or even if its just mentally cheating.
please help me
what should i do? what should i think?
i am so beyond crushed right now :(
If you go looking for trouble you are gonna find it.
I know if my partner told me I couldn't have communication with people of the opposite sex I would think he was jealous and weak. He wouldn't be my partner for long.
Also, I am not going to sit down and tell my partner about all the conversations I have had throughout the day. It's just none of his business, and some people may have told me things in trust. He loves me, so he wants me to have a full life becuase he knows that I know the difference between right and wrong and I am not some dog to be put on a leash.
If your boyfriend is really cheating on you, you would know it.
I really want to just blatantly tell my crush my feelings but my past experience has led me to believe that it's the wrong way to go about it. That, and my friends told me I'm not allowed to tell him, haha. I barely know him, but we are acquaintances. I feel like my nervousness, my occasional facebook comments, and my general demeanor around my crush give me away. And yet, this boy acts completely oblivious! I can't tell if he likes me or not because sometimes I'm completely convinced that he does and other times I see no signs. The only thing that I can pinpoint is his cheery smile when we talk and his tendency to laugh at most things I say. But then again, this boy is super nice. Oh and sometimes he asks me "stupid" questions that I believe he knows the answers to. SO, I think he likes me. But I also think I'm wrong about him liking me. I don't know where to go from here. Anything would help. Thanks :).
You would be amazed at how far you can get by paying attention. What kinds of things does he feel passionately about? What is going on in his life, right now. What are his favorite/least favorite classes? There are probably a hundred things the two of you can talk about, you just have to figure out what interests you both and play up on that. I think it's a good sign that he doesn't know you like him because that means he's abviously not the egotistical type that thinks girls can't resist him.
His big smile when he sees you can tell you alot. If nothing else, he's happy to see you! You can give him a hint about your feelings by saying something like, "everytime I talk to you, I get toungue-tied." and then leave it to him to wonder what you meant.
So, for this coming week of school it is your job to find out as much as you can about him without asking anyone (you don't want to look like a stalker, and plus, it's noone else's business). Keep your eyes and ears open, and see what you come up with. Job number two-say something criptic (like the tongue-tied comment) to get him wondering where your mind is at. Job number 3-play eye games. Let him catch you looking at him, and when he does, don't look away until you have given him a big smile. Don't underestimate the value of eye contact.
PS. Don't pretend to be interested in things you're not. You want to keep it real. You'll have plenty of things in common.
Also, don't talk about him SO much with your friends. You can let them know you're still interested, but you don't want people getting the idea you're obssessed with him because there will always be some hater who tries to turn it around on you.
Right now I'm in the acquaintance zone, but I would really like to talk more and be friends with my crush. He's a sweetheart and also the brightest guy in my class. We have a paper to write and I was wondering if asking him for help on it would be a good way to get closer to him. I do not intend on pretending to be "dumb," but rather just asking for some feedback and revising. The problem is that he knows I'm smart and that writing this paper isn't going to be a huge issue for me, haha, but I'm just asking for a little assistance right? I have to email him to ask because we're not in school right now. And I definitely never see him outside of school so I can't use this as an excuse to "hang out." I'm honestly just looking for an excuse to talk to him because in person I'm a bit more shy because he makes me nervous. The point is that I don't want to come off as creepy. (My previous crush thought I was creepy :/). Am I over thinking this?
Thanks.
No, you are not overthinking, you're just going in the wrong direction. This is a boy you are romantically interested in, so you should hope to catch his attention in that way, not as a student/tutor. School just started, so take it easy for a minute. The best way to get a boy is to make him think he's the one chasing you. All you have to do is give him a couple of flirty smiles for now. No out of the blue emailing because you want your communication to be real life. Neither one of you are looking for a cyber relationship.
I have a best friend who I used to talk to a lot but now he doesn't talk to me. Please tell me why.
You are asking the wrong person. Apparently, you haven't been talking to him all that much, either.
OK i need any idea's i'm usually good at this but i have writer's block so i'm stuck.
This isn't for school or anything, I got asked this on a site, so in order to get aproved i have to complete a writing proment about the sun in it's perspective. I have no idea where this goes so i put it in the random weridos.
I just need an idea that's all I can take it from there after. Please and ty
I'm not sure if I understand, but if I were the sun, I'd think about how people say they love me, but then blame me for their skin conditions. Its almost as if I get taken for granted. Now, companies want to take my energy and make money by selling it. I love the Eearth and Her Life, but sometimes...
I got my NY learner's permit a week ago. I'm 16. I've been doing pretty good with driving so far. The other day I was driving down a main street with a licensed adult (my mother) in the car, I was going about 10mph. The person in front of me, like all of the other cars, stopped short, causing me to hit the car in front of me in the rear because I wasn't able to break fast enough. My mom's car got the most damage (only a slightly bent hood and cracked grille)..the car in front of me got minor scratches on the rear of her car. We went to go apologize to the lady, she wasn't too thrilled with us (understandable), but overall wasn't a very kind person..you could just tell. Overall, it was nothing big. I called the cops, and they came...no one was hurt at all. They told me not to worry because "she has no major damages". Of course being the emotional person that I am, I start crying because #1) this was my first car accident, that I caused!, #2) I didnt want to be sewed. #3) it was my mom's new car! :(. And #4)I don't want my mother's insurance rates to go too high; she has State Farm (never had an accident that "she" caused before). The cops were very nice and then we got the car towed away and it's being fixed currently. The insurance won't cover it because my mother doesn't have collission, so I feel bad enough about that! When we called State Farm they said not to worry about it right now because no claim was filed by the other party. Well, just my luck, the lady who I bumped into put in a claim. A very weird one actually. She claimed that when I hit her she hit the car in front of her. Now, I found this weird because on the Police Report it states word for word "ONLY two cars involved" and "the person who was hit had ONLY minor damages to the rear of her car". Nothing on the front of the car! There's no mention whatsoever of a third party. The cops who I talked to didn't even mention it, even the paramedics who showed up told me not to worry because there was no major damage and no one was hurt. So, what the heck?! When we told State Farm that there was no mention of this third car, the guy laughed and said "not surprised" I'm guessing he figures that she may be lying. When the whole accident occurred, she was the only one who was being talked to along with my mom and I. So, why is she doing this? If she's lying, won't she be caught for fraud? There were witnesses around, and the police even recorded on the police report what happend and that only two cars were involved. The lady has State Farm too. So, I guess my major questions are: Has this ever happend to anybody you know or yourself? What do you think about this? Will my mother's rates go up? Will I still be able to get my license in 6 months like New York law says I can, even though I got in a minor accident? And, does this lady have anything to even fight about? She can claim the scratches I guess if she really wanted to but her car has barely any damage at all! and she's claiming she has damage in the front (I was only going 10 mph, so she must have been really close to the car in front of her to get any damage at all..)..meanwhile no one mentioned it to us and, again, the police report even states there were only two cars involved and that she only had rear end damage! Keep in mind, if there really is this "third car", it must have left (so obviously they weren't worried about there damage, if any),or it doesn't exist. It would've been mentioned don't you think? Ughh. Please answer, Thankyou!
you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I wish all teenagers gave the consequences of driving as much thought as you do. If I were you, I would sit back and watch how my mother handles it so I could learn.
What exactly happens if you have sex during your period? Is there a chance you can get pregnant? Also, dont guys thing its gross for having sex while your bleeding? I would like girl and guy replies please(: its urgent.
It is messy and very slippery. Most guys would choose not to have sex during period time, and if they say they have never done it before please don't be the first one to give it a try with them. You don't want to be remembered for that. you will have a very hard time enjoying it, anyway, because your mind will be on the mess the whole time. Also, it is a much bigger mess than you think. The 'action' down there seems to make the blood flow heavier, and blood doesn't only get on your genitals--it gets ALL OVER the place!
i got my wisdom teeth out on monday the 23 and i got my stiches out yesterday the 30th. is it okay if i can smoke weed now? does anyone know because i heard you cant after you get your wisdom teeth out because of blood clots?
You can also get this condition called "dry socket." Trust me, you don't want it because it hurts really bad.
This is a really long story, so i'll try to make it short.
I've known this boy for almost 7 months. we've dated for 4 of them. he left me, he just disappeared for 2 months. and i found him and we started talking again. he says he regrets doing what he did to me, and that he still loves me. he said that if he hadnt left we'd still be together. the thing is he now has a girlfriend who he started dating while we weren't talking. they fight all the time. she tells me what she says; she threatens to leave him almost daily but never does. i feel like she treats him like complete trash. shes only 13, and hes almost 18. which i find absolutely disgusting but thats beside the point. i've asked him multiple times to break up with her. he says that he cant just leave her because after everything shes done to him (lying and such) he still loves her. i says he cant leave because he'll feel bad, and he doesnt want her to be sad. he told me that if he stays he wont be happy and if he leaves he wont be happy.
i really really want him back. of all the boyfriends i've ever had hes the one i love and care about the most. we talk about having a life together but the way he talks about not being able to leave his current girlfriend, i dont think he'll ever leave her. he says it wont last forever but i feel otherwise. i need to know what to do. when i think about him and her i get very jealous and upset. i cant get him out of my mind.
right now he does say i love you to me, he calls me baby and such, just like when we were dating. but i wish the other girl was just out of the picture. im not really sure what kind of advice im looking for. i really want to know how to get them to break up but thats horribly mean, i dont want to hurt his feelings. whats the best thing for me to do?
You have to realize that if it was meant to be, it will be. I think the part about her being 13 is pretty disgusting, too, but that may be why he's having such a hard time leaving her. How would you feel if you had to break the heart of a 13 year old?
How can I tell my boyfriend i want to wait for his next birthday to have sex with him. He wants to lose his virginity now, but i want to wait 'till im a little older. How do i tell him without him getting mad or like being o.k. with me wanting to wait?
The best way to deal with any boy is honesty. Even if he doesn't like what you're saying, he's going to respect you for saying it.
Saying, "I'm really not ready to have sex, yet," is so hard because he is probably really pushing for it, and you worry that he's going to think you're immature. Lately, he's been acting like sex is the most important thing in the world, and he's even got you thinking that maybe you have to have sex with him to prove your love for him. This is nothing like you imagined it would be! Deep down inside, you know you aren't ready for sex, and all the pressuring he's doing isn't making it any easier. Maybe you even said some things that lead him to believe you were ready, but what else could you do when he kept pushing and pushing?
Here's the good news; it can still be like you imagined. One day, you are going to have sex for the first time and you are just going to know it's so right, and it will be a special moment you will have forever in your memories. You may not marry the first person you have sex with, but you will always love and respect eachother. It may be hard for this guy to hear right now, but he's just not good enough for you if he's going to keep pushing it. And one more thing, your body is not a thing to be given away as a birthday present. Do not place a time limit on when you think you'll be ready.
This boy may get angry, play games with your feelings, and even break up with you when you tell him you're not ready. If he does than it's a good thing you found out what a jerk he is before you had sex with him!
What's a good song that describes someone as being amazing? Something like 'I Just Call You Mine' by Martina McBride but .. not. And it doesn't have to be country. Preferably not. xP Thanks.
A Hero Lies in You-Mariah Carey
Wind Beneath my Wings-Bette Midler
You're My Inspiration--Chicago
I'm not sure if you're talking about someone you are in a relationship with or not, so it's difficult to tell. I think you'd get better advice if you gave a little background and what you wanted the song to say.
Hey ,
So I met up with this guy alright and I went down on him then as I went up his thing was on my thigh as I went to kiss his lips and then I went down again on him , and now I missed my period , am I pregnant?
Thanks ,
Betty
Believe it, or not, I know a girl who got pregnant without ever having intercourse. She was a grown woman when she told me this, with no reason to lie, so I know she was telling the truth.
First, a lot of girls think the man has to have an orgasm in order to get her pregnant, but this is not true. I'm sure that while you were with this guy you noticed a clear fluid that came out of his penis even though he wasn't ejaculating. This fluid does have sperm in it, and though it isn't very much, it only takes one.
Also, sperm are very persistent little buggers. It is their sole goal to make it to the egg and fertilize it. This means that if you happen to get some sperm near your vagina there is a chance it can make it to the egg and fertilize it.
The girl I knew was "grinding" naked with her boyfriend when he ejaculated. Even though his penis had never been inside of her vagina, it got close enough that it was able to make it there.
If you have missed your period you should go to any drug store and pick up a pregnancy test.
Good luck!
hi i was wondering if you could give me information on college grants. all i know is that yo dont have to pay them back. for the pass two years of my college my parents paid for it. now i have to myself and i cant get financial aid because i live with my parents and they make too much. thank you
fastweb.com is a great site because you can put in your info and it comes up with matches for you. Another person to talk to is your advisor.
This is quite a long story. please bear with me.
17/f
There's this boy. he and i have been pretty close friends for more than 5 years. When we were younger, we had a little crush on eacother, but we were young, and nothing ever came out of it. A few years after that, when we were about 14, we started talking and i was convinced we were going to end up together. That year, i went on vacation, and when i came back, he had a girlfriend. (ive always hated this girl, just throwing that in there). I was upset with him for a while, but we weren't actually dating or anything, so i did the mature thing and didnt make a big deal out of it. We stayed friends since then.
now here's the "good" part. About a year ago, he and i were talking, and he told me that he's always (and stil has) had feelings for me. (He's still with the same girl from earlier in the story). So when he told me this, i got very excited because i still liked him too. A few months after he told me this, i moved to a new school an hour away. We've been talking since i moved, which was 9 months ago.
A few months ago, probaly in like, june, he tells me he wants to leave his girlfriend of 2 years, because 1. Things between them havent been so great, and 2. he wants to be with me. So since then, we've been talking every night for hours. He still hasnt broken up with her because he doesn't want to hurt her (so he tells me). he always tells me how sorry he is that he can't man up and leave her for me, and i know it sounds like a bunch of crap, but i believe him. A few weeks ago, we met up to hang out. And we kissed. While he still has a girlfriend. I feel super guilty because he still has a girlfriend, but i strangely don't regret it at all. In fact, i think id do it again.he just left for college 5 hours away. His girlfriend is clueless that he and i are even talking.
Am i "the other woman"? Does that make me a bad person? I can't take this anymore, its way too much stress. But i REALLY want to be with him. help?? Thanks so much
1. He won't break up with her because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, but he doesn't seem to be noticing the way your heart keeps getting stomped on every time he talks about it and doesn't do it. Maybe you have become so used to it that you aren't noticing it, either.
2. Right now you are playing the role of "back pocket partner," meaning that things are ok in the relationship with him and his girl, but he's not sure how long it will last, so he might as well keep something in his back pocket just in case. Do you think they don't have sex?
3. This is not a normal relationship (you and him) but you have gotten so used to it.
4. Part of the thrill is the fact that you hate his girl. You are getting your rocks off on sticking it to a girl you hate, but how many nights have you sat by yourself alone knowing the two of them are together. Who is really "winning" here? You spend a lot more time being jealous of her than she does you. You are so insignificant she doesn't even know you exist.
What would happen if you stopped talking to him? Would he finally see the light and leave her? Would he just let you go? How do you know? Maybe you're enjoying the competition, and you don't want him to leave her.
Honestly, it sounds like deep down inside you don't think he'll leave his girl. So far, you have chosen to listen to his sweet talk as if it were real and ignore the facts. Actions speak louder than words. You are giving him yourself in a relationship and he is giving you a bunch of hot air.
21/f.
I recently started dating a new guy. Everything is great and all, but he talks about his ex girlfriend a lot. They broke up 7 months ago, and she dumped him via sms then went out with a new guy 2 days later. I ask him why he talks about her and he says he is just venting, because he thought what she did was cruel and heartless.
They were only together like 3 months, but she was his "first" (if you get me) He tells me that he is totally in love with me, he was only "love struck" by her and that I'm much better than her and he hates her now. Whenever I get mad at him mentioning her he stops but it always comes up again.
I don't get why he is still mentioning her. I was with a guy for 2 years and that ended badly too (abuse) but I almost never bring him up. Why is he still going on about this girl? I don't think he still likes her but I don't know why he is still bringing her up even after all this time.
Thanks, and sorry for the ramble!
I wish I could tell you some magic recipe that will make him stop talking about her, but it is almost like you are encouraging his behavior. I'll explain...He brings up his ex, you get visibly jealous, it helps his self-esteem to see you jealous over him. Get it?
So, in a sick and twisted way, his bringing up his ex may be some screwed up way he has of measuring how secure his relationship is with you. Try giving a different reaction and see what happens.
there was a pigeon in my yard that was really still and i went up to it bc i was curious and it flew away. underneath her lay a tiny baby. i was wondering why she was sitting on it? its like 100 degrees outside...
i didnt touch the baby either i felt bad and walked away...but im worried the mother wont return..
I am almost positive that the bird won't come back. If the baby bird is not in the nest he/she will leave it to die.
Ok so I just got into a relationship with this guy. He is really sweet and cute. Last night we were chatting over facebook and he told me he wants to go to the movies and finger me when we are there. I am 13 and i wanna know if i should? and if i do what should i know.. when he does is my cherry gonna pop? And is it gonna hurt? I think he only likes me to have sex with me but I am only 13 im not ready to have sex.. Ok well Please Help Me!
If there is even a thought in your mind that he only likes you to have sex than you know you need to not have sex. You don't want to be that girl! You want to be the girl he talks about his dreams with, and the one who will help him solve his problems.
You guys are going through the toughest age. He is being pressured from his friends and you are being pressured from him. Don't be the footnote in his summer of '10. I'm not saying that you should never have that kind of experience at the movies, but at least wait to see how he treats you once the school year gets started. Remember, once you do it you can never take it back, and this is your body, your reputation, and the kind of person you want to be on the line.
I can only promise you one thing, and you know it's the truth: Having sex with this boy will not make him stick around or treat you better, it will only cause drama.
several months back, i was in school and my boyfriend was neglecting me. he'd rarely ever call, always forgot our plans, etc. i didn't want to completely lose him, so i didn't dump him. then a guy that i'd had a crush on a few years back started telling me he liked me and so i decided to hook up with him, bad mistake number 1. we didn't have sex, all we did was make out. but i regretted it as soon as i got home that night and was really sick for the next few days. he'd asked me to hang out again and i blew him off, so he got peeved and started ignoring me and being pretty rude, but i didn't care anymore.
well now its many months later and he started texting me every few days. i don't reply to them. i've realized i'm completely sick of him and i just want him to leave my life completely, but he won't. and i don't want to tell him that cuz i'm afraid he'll get pissed and tell my boyfriend what i did. i don't know what to do! i can't tell my boyfriend, he'll be so hurt. and i really screwed up a couple of months ago and he gave me a second chance, but now if i fuck up again he won't give me anymore chances. i know i probably don't deserve him but i don't want to lose him. we're a lot better now, almost perfect. what the hell do i do?
You have to totally ignore him. Don't answer, nothing. Do not speak one word to him.
What you do next will depend on whether or not you think your boyfriend can beat up your stalker. If this guy is afraid of your boyfriend, he's not going to say anything. If he's not afraid of your boyfriend, he's definately going to say something. If you think your boyfriend is going to find out, you have to tell him first.
I Kinda like one of my friends but he is a total player & gets in every girls pant's he's with I want him to change for me but I don't know if he will , what should I do ?
He will NOT change for you. Period. That is the answer, whether you like it, or not.