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I'm not sure what to do anymore.
This is a really long story, so i'll try to make it short.
I've known this boy for almost 7 months. we've dated for 4 of them. he left me, he just disappeared for 2 months. and i found him and we started talking again. he says he regrets doing what he did to me, and that he still loves me. he said that if he hadnt left we'd still be together. the thing is he now has a girlfriend who he started dating while we weren't talking. they fight all the time. she tells me what she says; she threatens to leave him almost daily but never does. i feel like she treats him like complete trash. shes only 13, and hes almost 18. which i find absolutely disgusting but thats beside the point. i've asked him multiple times to break up with her. he says that he cant just leave her because after everything shes done to him (lying and such) he still loves her. i says he cant leave because he'll feel bad, and he doesnt want her to be sad. he told me that if he stays he wont be happy and if he leaves he wont be happy.
i really really want him back. of all the boyfriends i've ever had hes the one i love and care about the most. we talk about having a life together but the way he talks about not being able to leave his current girlfriend, i dont think he'll ever leave her. he says it wont last forever but i feel otherwise. i need to know what to do. when i think about him and her i get very jealous and upset. i cant get him out of my mind.
right now he does say i love you to me, he calls me baby and such, just like when we were dating. but i wish the other girl was just out of the picture. im not really sure what kind of advice im looking for. i really want to know how to get them to break up but thats horribly mean, i dont want to hurt his feelings. whats the best thing for me to do?
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run and don't look back...shoprt of that, you have a mess on your hands for sure. If he is eighteen and she is thriteeen the parents could ste in with legal action against him. secondly, if he is almost eighteen he should know better which tells me, he may be a bit immature and finds it ewasier to relate to a child then someone his own age; that is a red flag...another red flag i am sorry to say is what he is tellig you and telling her..if he is calling you sweety and what all, who else besides you two is he telling this too? or will be in future if you two should get together...run and don't look back; i kn ow this is not what you want to hear, and i am sorry but i am being honest, and nine out of ten folks on here would probably agree with me....
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You have to realize that if it was meant to be, it will be. I think the part about her being 13 is pretty disgusting, too, but that may be why he's having such a hard time leaving her. How would you feel if you had to break the heart of a 13 year old?
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I think everyone has a good point about this situation. I have been through many heart aches and break ups but the thing that makes them all the same? They weren't worth having ME! And that is how you should look at it. He "disappeared" for two months and never told you what happened. And now he calls you baby and is stringing you along WHILE he has a girlfriend. He is a player. I am not saying he doesn't love you or care about you. But what he is doing is keeping his options open. He is sick of this 13 year old and you are in the picture now. You are worth more than a rebound girl! So don't fall for it. If he wants to talk to you and be mature AFTER he leaves this girl, then maybe you should give him a chance. But right now?.... It should be out of the question! She is 13! Im sure he should be mature enough to leave her, not to mention it is illegal in most states to even be dating her, with his age and everything. So a guy like that isn't really worth your time hun! You can do better, and trust me when I say this, when you realize that, all the good guys start coming out of nowhere. So ditch this zero!
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What on earth do you want with this guy? He's worried about hurting the 13 year old, but he didn't worry about hurting you. And he's with a 13 year old! At their ages, that gap is huge. Where rare her parents? Where is his mind?
He says that if he hadn't left you two would still be together??? He left! That kind of makes you no longer together.
Walk away, show a little respect for yourself and demand to be treated better. You deserve that.
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Hey there,
By the sounds of it, his relationship with this other girl is not a good one.. If she treats him like trash and threatens to leave him alot, then I do not see why he would want to stay with someone like that.
You cannot ask a guy to break up with someone, they will only think you are being mean if you do that. To let a guy know the relationship he is in isn't doing him any good, is by telling him nicely that she is treating him like crap and that you feel that he deserves way better. Do not say 'your girlfriend is trash and I want to date you', that will only make you seem mean and unsupportive.
I think he doesn't want to leave her because she is probly guilt tripping him into believing he needs to be there for her. If you remind him every now and then that he deserves better, eventually he will learn that he does deserve better. Do not force anything on him, just casually remind him. It may take a while, but once he realizes, he will stop dating her and search for something better. Which could be you, if you give him time to figure out what is right. Do not push him in one direction while he is dating her, he has to decide for himself. Remind him, be patient, and soon enough he will stop putting himself through her cruelty. You cannot tell a person what to do, but you can guide them onto the correct path <3
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