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Should I Make My Boyfriend Pay Child Support?
I got pregnant & had a baby last month. My boyfriend got me pregnant because he didn't want to use a condom so it's all his fault. I only let him see my daughter when we go out like on a date but she don't stay with him at all & I care for her all the time. Mom said he needs to be a man and support us since he's the one that got me pregnant. I told him I want him to get a job after school and give me money to support my daughter because I'm in school too and I can't raise a baby and go to school AND work a job. He needs to take responsibility. He got mad and was like it's just as much his fault as it is mine that I got knocked up and he was real mad about it all and said if I make him pay me money then he's gonna break up with me and leave me. Mom said to take him to court if he won't pay me money for my daughter and I think she's right that he needs to man up or whatever but then I feel bad because I don't want him to break up with me. Should I go after him to make him pay me childsupport or what?
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First off, its not your boyfriends fault you got pregnant. You make it seem like he is just OH SO TERRIBLE.
"My boyfriend got me pregnant because he didn't want to use a condom so it's all his fault."
Its just as much your fault, as it is his. It takes two people to have sex. You should have known that without a condom, you could get pregnant, you could have said NO, but you didn't. Therefore, its your fault, just as much as its his.
For two, you should feel lucky your babydaddy is still even with you. You know how many teenage moms have their baby's father leave them?
For Three, the baby isn't just yours. It takes TWO people to have a kid, not one. If he is still with you, than you should let him see HIS kid whenever he wants and pleases; and even by himself without you around.How else do you expect him and his kid to bond?
For Four, why dont you sit down and ask him nicely, instead of making it seem like he HAS too?? Make it clear that she is his kid, just as much yours, and he needs to pitch in to pay for some of her needs.
*Maybe next time, yall will buy a condom, considering they cost ALOT cheaper than a baby does. (:
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I think you need to check yourself on a couple of things before you do anything. First, you need to accept that your daughter's father is just as much of a parent as you are, and it's not right for you to dictate when and where you're going to let him see his daughter. Second, it doesn't sound like this guy is very old, so chances are he doesn't make a lot of money. If he is willing to give you 50.00 a week, I wouldn't push it with him. You might end up with less than that in your child support order.
My advice to you: your child's father should be your comrade, and if it's possible to work it out with him without involving "the system" I would do so. Chances are, he loves his daughter very much and wants what's best for her. He needs to understand that this money is necessary and you need to be able to count on his help.
Also, your mother is your best friend, and she usually has your best interest at heart, but also, she's not the boss here, you are. Please do not allow your mother to interfere with your relationship with your child's father. Hear her advice, but listen to your brain. You are a mother now, and you have to get used to the idea of making decisions for your daughter.
You should consider your child's father as your partner, even if the two of you are not together. Never use your child in your fights with im, or as leverage. If you want your daughter to be mentally healthy, you must always let her know you respect and value her father's opinion (unless he is truly a bad person) because you know he wants the best for you both. Remember, you are no more a parent than he is just becuase you are a woman. You are equals, and it will take a lot of compromise.
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You can't put your desires ahead of your child's needs.
Besides, a guy who is completely unwilling to care for your child shouldn't be a your boyfriend anyways. You are going to be a mother for the rest of your life. You no longer have the privilege of dating someone who isn't at least respectful of your child's needs.
Take him to court. If he has other life plans - school or such - the court will take that into consideration. They wont necessarily FORCE him to get a job if he has the possibility of going to school and improving himself that way. But regardless of what his situation is, it is definitely time to take him to court to arrange custody and support. It's also time to break up - a guy who would flat out refuse to financially support his child (regardless of whose fault it is) is not a decent boyfriend for a young mother.
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he needs to pay child support and it is true you both were part of making this baby just because he has a penis doesn't mean you didn't let him do the things he did. but tell him i dont want to break up with you and i dont want this to get out of control both agree to get a job and help out
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