Member Since: January 6, 2005
Answers: 90
Last Update: January 30, 2005
Visitors: 4721
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i am a 13 year old girl, and i tried my boyfriend's ciggarette the other day, cuz i just wanted to try. he didnt force me into it, i just wanted to try ; like i just said. so then the next day i craved for one soo badly and i bit my nails which i never did before. and i just want some kinda smoke in mah lungs now ! am i addicted already ? what should i do ? (link)
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Trying a cigarette once will not an addict make. It is more than likely a purely psychological thing on your part. Chewing your nails because of this psychological craving was, believe it or not, probably also psychological.
For the time being, you should carry gum around with you, NOT nicorette or ugly stuff like that, because you are not addicted. Just get Extra or blow some great bubbles.
I can't give you sermons about the evils of smoking; I experimented myself, but I did quit before it became a really dirty habit. I can tell you that it will stink up your hair, your breath, your clothes, your lungs and you'll start coughing. I won't even go into the health problems that will start to rear their ugly heads in as little as 5 years if you even consider starting. SO STOP BEFORE YOU EVEN START
Hope I helped.
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ok, say his guy's name is bob. now bob is 13 and in 7th grade and i am 14 and i am in 8th grade. now bob went out with a girl, say her name was "jane". jane is 14 and in 8thgrade and also a friend of mine, not a good friend, but a friend none the less. so bob and jane went out and jane about 2 weeks later dumps him. bob is really pissed and tells her to shove it and is obviously hurt. i haven't talked to bob since then and i really wanna go out with him. how long should i wait for him to get over the breakup. also once that time has come, how can i let him know my feelings that i wanna go out with him but not have things being awkward if he says no. i really don't want to tell him myself. ohh, and will jane think of me as a traitor if i date him? please tell me what to do. the more intimacy in your answer, the better i'll rate. but i rate good ne ways. please help!! (link)
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OK, it looks to me like you have kind of answered part of your own question. Jane is not a good friend, but just a friend. Bob you like and wanna date. Bob is pissed off because Jane dumped him. Have I got that straight?
Be a friend to Bob. Maybe he needs someone to talk to. Be someone he can pal around with for awhile, feel comfortable around; then he might ask you out. You might even break the ice by asking him to go skating or skiing or to the mall or something like that.
If you feel guilty regarding Jane, talk with her and see how she feels about your being a friend to Bob. Would she be upset if you were friends with Bob AND her? Keep in mind what you said, however, that she was a friend, but not a good friend. Weigh the decision whether her friendship is worth keeping if she would be hurt if you were friends with Bob. Above all, if you feel your friendship with Bob is more important than your friendship with Jane, be prepared for possible nasty gossip (7th-8th-9th grades are vicious backstabbers and it gets worse in high school!). Just thought I'd warn you. Been there, done that and I can still remember it (man, I'm getting old).
Hope it helps.
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15/f. I have liked this guy since last year. And he told me last week that he liked me too. I am not allowed to date until I turn 16, which is in a week or so. The thing that worries me about going out with this guy is that he has done things that I have never done. I've never made out wiht a guy and he has made out with all the girls he's gone out with, and he has fingered a girl. I wouldn't mind making out with him, but getting fingered is not what I want to do. What should i do if he tries to finger me. Thanks in advance.
Signed:
Unsure (link)
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Take it slow and easy -- sorry. Does he expect to "do everything" on the first date? If he is, then you'd better set the ground rules from the very beginning. Let him know, for example, that he's your first date (remember, you're just starting to date. Let him know!). If he really likes you, he'll respect and appreciate you for it. If he pushes you into anything you are not ready for, physically push him back.
You are in charge you what you want to do, not he. And NEVER FORGET THAT. There are 'way too many girls these days who let boys take advantage of them because they want to be accepted and liked. If he really and truly likes you, he will be willing to enjoy your company and take it slow and relaxed with you.
Hope I helped you.
(Sorry if I preached -- I'm a mom, too.)
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hi... after about a week after i had my period i had sex for the first time.... and i didnt use protection. ( bad mistake) and.. now its been about 4 weeks and ive been feeling abit sick ( but i usually get like this when im going to have my periods) and i havent got them yet and im really scared that i could be pregnant.. and when i felt up my virgina i felt this weird thing inside me.. could this be and unborn baby i might have??? pleace help, im really scared about this (link)
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One week after a period -- chances are you are not pregnant. You are no doubt very young; you cannot feel an unborn baby in your vagina (note the spelling). Periods are almost never regulated for the first 3-5 years unless you are on the pill.
Yes, bad mistake that you didn't use protection.
Worse mistake, you had sex and you are extremely young.
Get a home pregnancy test, go to planned parenthood and get a test taken. And I know you're scared, but if you are pregnant (and you probably aren't) going to have to tell your mom sooner or later, especially if you go to planned parenthood.
Next time you get the urge to do this:
STOP. THINK. THINK AGAIN. COUNT TO TEN. THEN THINK AGAIN. THEN SAY NO AND RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!!! You have your entire life ahead of you and you don't want it to change so drastically because a baby has entered the picture when you are still a child yourself.
Hope I helped Take care (couldn't tell I'm a mom, could you?)
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I really love the laid-back, hippieish, original style of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen...
Does anyone know where to get clothes that look alot like theirs for not too much money...I'm really not into spending 200 dollars on a teeshirt:-P (link)
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I have a niece who got into that style and did it so cheaply and stylishly that everyone wanted to copy her. No one could very well. Why, you may ask.
Her secret? She went to thrift stores, Salvation Army stores, Goodwill stores. Buy cheap, wash them carefully, wear them for as long as can or want. You can get the look you want for as little as you have and no one is the wiser
Trust me, she was extremely well-respected in her school. Hope it helps.
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I dont know what catagoy this would fall under but, any way, here goes.
Lately I have been feeling depressed. I'm not sure why, but I'm bored with everything that was once exciting in my life. My friends, my crushes, my school work. My first term was excelent, but now all of my grades have dropped. I am so lost and I dont know what to do. I feel like I want to run away and start over new. I really need some support or help. Thanks . (link)
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You need to talk with a counsellor. Start with your parents and/or counsellor. Personally, I'd talk with my mom and go to a professional therapist or psychiatrist. Often they can prescribe medication, but don't do that unless they honestly think it will help.
Running away is NOT the answer. Starting over new? May sound trite but "Each Day is a New Start" (I knew I couldn't write that without twitching!).
Hun, you need to talk with a counsellor NOW. I went through the same thing you're going through. I was lucky enough to have a mother I could talk with easily and I got help. It may have taken awhile, but I got help. You recognize you have a problem now, so you can get help now. Do it. Keep in touch: shelbyjunebug072@yahoo.com
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Okay well I am 13 years old. I think I am one of the fattest people out their! I weigh about 105, and I am about 5,1 ½ .. There are like 4 people who tease me, and call me fatt because they know it gets to me, and I cry all the time. About 1 week ago I tried making myself throw up. It hurts, but I don't care. I am also on a diet. So the food I eat is healthy still get's vomited out. But oh well. But my two best friends ones a guy who I like love with all my heart, and one is a good girl friend of mine are so pissed that I do this, and tell me not to listen to what people think =/ They said if I continue to do it they'll refuse to talk to me.. Urg! I wanna lose a lot of weigh for summer, and stuff and this is a pretty good way to do it but I dont know because I dont wanna lose my friends anymore =/ .. Ekkkk what to do? (link)
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YOU -- ARE -- NOT -- FAT!!!!! You are fast on the road to a very bad eating disorder called bulemia, which is to eat and purge (throw up or take laxatives to crap it out). This totally wrecks your insides, not to mention what it does to your throat, teeth, tongue, etc. etc.
The people who tease are pushing all your buttons because they KNOW you will react. They don't care about you, they care about making you hurt. Your two best, especially your girlfriend, should let your parents know what you are doing to your body.
Honey, listen to a mother (and I am a mother). You need some counseling NOW. And you need a doctor, NOW. What you are seeing is an exaggerated version of what is really there. If you see what is most likely the teensiest amount of babyfat (because you are only 13), then do some stomach crunches (situps only kill your back in the longrun and don't get rid of the "flab" in front) everyday. Do you know the very best exercises in the world? There are three: 1) walking; 2) swimming; 3) Pilates (which combines a whole lot of things, including isometrics-look that up).
Talk with your mother, immediately, PLEASE. And be thankful you have the friends you do have who care for you as much as they do; listen to them because they love you and know what they are talking about. AND GET SOME HELP NOW.
Keep in touch -- shelbyjunebug072@yahoo.com
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this girl, we'll call her lucy, ok well, we were the best of friends for 6th and 7th grade. last year i would sometimes get mad at her, and she would cry and i just felt so bad and would miss her and i'd forgive her. but this year a new girl came and she completly ditched me for her and i didn't even do anything wrong! now she always says they are best friends. plus, i dont think this new chick even likes me! i dont know what to do- it's not fair- i've cried so much and for some reason she just doesnt even care. im just so heart broken! should i just try and forget about her... even though it's neat impossible.. or is ther a way to be friend again? (link)
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Been there, done that - many times. It's best if you can get her alone and talk with her. Find a neutral place, like McDonald's or the food court at the mall. Get a Coke or lunch or a snack and just talk. Start it off by asking her if you did anything that would make her behave the way she is behaving, like she hates you or something. Does she really not like you or is she acting this way because her new friend doesn't like you? And does her new friend even know you or is she going according to what your old friend told her about last year (I hope you understood that, it sure ran on a lot!)
If she doesn't even want to meet with you, well, unfortunately, I think that answers your question. Pick up the pieces of your heart, find a new best friend, and realize that your former best friend doesn't deserve you. I know it sounds like the end of the world, but you're young (and I also know you really didn't need to hear that also) and you will live.
Hope it helps.
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we've gotton together and dated...currently we are best friends...and hes been playing the field (like every typical teen boy)....we hang out and talk non-stop....he still puts his arms around me..hugs me..kisses me on the cheek sometimes..affection is definently there.
i wish we were together.
i love him to death...today he said he loved me..but it was just as friends when we were hanging out.
he doesn't want a relationship right now so i'm not going to tell him how i feel just because i know that is a bad idea.
what in the world do i do-hes incredible and i love him to death? (link)
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Be happy for the time being that you are good friends. He made it tougher by saying he couldn't date you now because you are such good friends, but YOU NEVER KNOW. Take it easy and slow and enjoy your friendship.
Also, there just might come a time when you might feel the vibes just right that you can tell him how you feel. OR the feeling might fade. You never can tell. Until then, just enjoy his company. Hope it helps. Young love is a pain, isn't it?
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Ok there is this New Guy that has been at my school for like 3 days. And he Sits at my table for lunch, and he also is in my Gym class and my S.S class. And i think he is cute but i don't know if i should tell him or not. Can you guys please tell me if i should your not. (link)
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Hey, cute/handsome isn't EVERYTHING. Get to know him first. Make friends with him first. Make sure he's as cute inside as he is outside. If he is and the you become friends, then you can go to the next step. I'm assuming you're in high school. Take it slow and easy. Why does everyone think they have to hurry? You'll have so much more fun if you slow down! Hope it helps.
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okay tomorrow i have to watch my aunt and uncles puppy rottie.my grampa is going but i dont think he will be a big help.anyway does any one got an idea to keep him calm or any other tips??
ples help i rate reeeeel high:) (link)
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Keep a puppy Rot Calm? Are you kidding?
Seriously, puppies like to play. Find out his favorite toy, and be prepared to run a lot. Run and fetch are always good. Try to teach him a few tricks, if he isn't too young. Take him for a walk (OK, it may be a run!) And don't underestimate grandpa, unless he is pushing 90. Also, outside is probably best, as puppies like to piddle and cleaning up has never been my favorite chore and I'm guessing isn't yours either.
Wear the Rott out, then he'll be calm. Heck, he'll nap. Run and fetch, tire him out. Enjoy the puppy! Hope this helps.
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I'm always craving junk food. When it comes to self-control, I have none in the food category. If I have a bag of chips, I could probably eat the whole bag if nobody was there to stop me. I just get caught up in something else and eat continuously and I don't like when I do it. I need some ideas for (easy) snacks to make right at home (besides like fruits/vegetables). I don't want something that will take forever to make either. I will appreciate any good ideas! (link)
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Man, are you singing my song or what?!
1) Don't eat chips or anything straight out of the bag. Put them in a SMALL dish and eat them SLOWLY. After a time (a matter of days) you won't even finish them.
2) Don't eat in front of the TV or computer. You don't pay attention to what you're doing and suddenly it's gone.
3) It takes at least 20 minutes for your food to take effect in your stomach. So if you feel hungry after 15 minutes, drink a glass of ICE water and wait another 15 or more minutes.
4) Get rid of chips and anything fattening. Replace your snacks with fruits and raw vegetables (I'll bet your really tired of hearing that, aren't you?) But there's nothing wrong with adding a little to it. Reduced Fat Peanut Butter (I prefer Jif because it's only 60% peanuts) on apples or celery is excellent and it really curbs the "wanna" appetite.
5) Salads? Make them ahead of time, put them in one-serving, air-tight containers (lettuce will get brown really fast if you don't). Another hint. Put dressing on the side and dip your forkful into it before putting it into your mouth. That way you get the flavor of it without all that fat and drenching.
6) Drink 6-8 glasses of ICE water a day. Notice ICE. It revs up your metabolism. If you have trouble with that, start with Crystal Light with 4 glasses/4 glasses water, then cut back to 3 glasses CL, 3-5 glass water, etc.
7) Exercise. The easiest? Walk! Start with 1/2 mile and work up. 20 minutes per mile is a good pace to aim for. And it cuts your desire for junk food (don't ask me how, it just does).
8) Don't deny yourself a candy bar or a SMALL bag of chips ONCE a week, but ONLY ONCE a week, as a reward if you stick to not having any the rest of the week.
Hope I helped.
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When I started Junior High, I noticed this guy and he seemed pretty cool. At first I kind of thought he was weird because of the way he looked (long hair,converse high-tops..etc) but then I got to know him and sort of developed a crush on him. By the end of 7th grade I became OBSESSED and one night with a box cutter, I just carved his name into my arm. He never noticed. It seemed like he had a crush on me too for a while, he would call me things like "cutie" and "sweetie" . The beginning of the year he seemed like he liked me still, and I hadn't told him about my scar. I needed to get it off my chest, so I told my friend who has him 6th period to tell him and she did. After school he looked scared and luckily he didn't see me. The next few days he would look at me and the stare at the ground. He supposedly said he "hated me" because I carved his name into my arm. It doesn't make sense, how could he change his feelings that quickly? Now he thinks I'm this weirdo. What should I do? I still have major feelings for him, even though I don't show it. Because I feel like I can't. Please help me. (link)
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He doesn't hate you, hun. He's terrified, not of you, but probably for you. Your carving his name into you is SELF-MUTILATION. This is obsession, fanaticism. It is not enough to talk to him one on one. In fact, you probably won't be able to, he probably won't do it.
You need to speak to a therapist. If you can't see a therapist, talk with your school counselor. And you need to do this immediately. I don't mean to scare you, but this is a sign of something that may become more dangerous (mentally and emotionally) to you. You need help -- get it. Talk to someone.
Keep in touch. Let me know -- I'm concerned. shelbyjunebug072@yahoo.com
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16/f and my best friend is 18/m and we live in two different states, I honestly am attracted to him in more than a friend way, but he has a gf, and i dont wanna have a ld relationship, but he has a gf, and he said that if i were to move there Id be with him, and that he wants me, and everything, but I mean, I know i cant have him at this moment and its killing me, I like him toomuch :( I want to get over him sorta but not really cuz we have something amazing everyone we both know, and were both friends say were gonna end up married and they think were dating no matter how much we tell them were not, so how do i get over him :( ...i dont wanna stop talking to him cuz hes my best ffriend... (link)
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Keep the friendship thing going for now, especially since you are in two different states and you are 16 and (I assume) you're still in high school. Stay in touch as much as possible, on the phone or email, etc. Try to meet during vacation times, like spring break, summer time, and see how you feel about each other. If the vibes are still strong between you over the next six months (or even longer), then talk with your folks about maybe moving to his state to finish high school.
I'm only saying this because you should move slowly. Remember, you're 16 AND YOU STILL HAVE SO MUCH OF YOUR LIFE AHEAD OF YOU. So, stand back and think carefully before you run into anything. By the way, how do your parents feel about him? Do they like him and approve of your friendship? Do you have a good relationship with them? It doesn't hurt to be able to talk with them, have an open communication with them. It really makes it much easier, then there are no hurt feelings and they'll trust you AND him. And do they know his parents?
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Hi everyone...im just wondering..I had a few pimples a little while ago like a month ant there is like a little reddish spot where they were. Is there any cream or wash that it make it back to my normal skin color, because the pimple isn't there anymore and i want it to be my normal skin color again..Thanks. (link)
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If you're using soap -- STOP! Neutrogena or Clearasil are always good unless your skin is on the dry side already. Noxsema is also good, but be careful with the original as it can cause more blackheads.
Washing your face in the morning and evening will help clear it up and don't hurry up the process. If you're young, it takes time. Don't mess with it, or it will get worse. If you feel like the world is looking at it all the time, put a little concealer on it - Neutrogena or Clearasil actually make concealers that cover and clear at the same time.
If you feel really uncomfortable about taking this upon yourself, talk with your mom or see a doctor. There's nothing wrong with talking with someone who probably been through it and/or knows what they're talking about.
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Hi.
If I don't wash my hair every night then my hair gets and looks so oily.I usually do wash my hair everynight but every once in a while i don't have time. Does anyone know any products that i could use to make my hair less oily or anything i can use so it doesnt look oily....please.
Thanks! (link)
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If you're low on cash -- and who isn't these days? -- look into the Suave brands. No one has to know and it isn't their business anyway.
But hairdressers these days say that more than once a day washing is not always good for your hair and if you can go more than one without washing your hair it's better. The oil in your hair actually conditions it and makes it healthier. Hair is dead protein (not what the commercials say), so the oil you see is a defense mechanism to your daily washing. Try washing your hair on Friday, hiding on Saturday and washing it again on Sunday. You can train your hair to look great with washing every other day (honest!). hope it helps
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Alrighty I just finished doing Weight Watchers (woohoo) and I lost all the weight I want to lose...now I just don't want to put back on any of the weight I lost! THAT would suck...so does anyone know how to maintain your weight? I have 20 points a day (about 1600 calories)...anyone know what to do on Weight Watchers to maintain your weight (link)
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Any diet, not just Weight Watchers -- drink 6-8 glasses of water daily. Make it ice water because it revs up your metabolism and makes it work harder.
Keep exercising so you don't start getting sluggish.
Now that you've learned what's good and what's not so good, it's easier to say no to the temptations. My mother always says that when she wants chocolate, she eats an orange (but we live in California, so any piece of fresh fruit will do).
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Hey, I would like to know if you all can tell what is wrong with my finger and if I should go to the doctor. Wednesday night, I was at gymnastics messing around, and as I went for a back tuck, my middle finger jammed into my leg... then about 3 minutes later, I jammed it again into a panel mat (a hard mat in case you dont know) same finger and everything. My coach didnt care because i shouldnt have been messing around, so I went through the rest of practice ignoring the pain. Its now 2 days later, and im getting shooting pains throughout it, my whole finger is about 1 1/2 the size of the other, and my knuckle in the middle of my finger is twice the size of the other and i cant feel from there down to the end of it. I have it taped together for now, but it hurts to even write, im typing this without it. Im sorry its long, but i cant decide if I should go to the docot Monday and get x-rays jus to make surem or relax and let it heal on its own because of an expierience with shoulda been broken foot since i didnt go to the doctor right away. Today, I had to call home for some medicine to help with the pain. So, what do you all think of this situation (any of you who read this)...? (link)
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GET TO A DOCTOR!!! Are you crazy? Your finger is nearly double its normal size?, the knuckle is twice the size and you're WONDERING? You're getting shooting pains through your finger and I've not doubt the hand also. Are you aware that about 1/4 of the bones in your body are in your hand alone?!?
GET TO A DOCTOR!!! DON'T HESITATE!!!
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I give up. I dont deserve gods love. I am not worthy enough for it. He gives me a gift and i dont use it. I fail one class, i am a porn addict. I give up i dont deserve god anymore. I dont even deserve to live, i, i really dont care. i am not good enough. I am not as loyal to him as i should be. i dont deserve him at all. im done. Please give advice or a way to end it all (link)
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You cannot, I repeat You cannot, give up. You are not, I repeat You are not unworthy. Check that we are all of us unworthy. God does not care that we are unworthy. God sent down Jesus Christ to die for our sins and then He rose again to forgive us our sins 70 times 7, 700 times 7. I failed many classes, I now have a masters degree. I didn't give up, although I could have, many times. I didn't because I knew God forgave me, because I knew Jesus forgave me. God gave you a mind, He gave you a conscience, He gave you the ability to see right and wrong. Porn addict? Well, the first step is admitting that you are one. The next step is to start getting rid of everything in your house/room/apartment that has anything to do with it. Then stay away from magazines and movies and internet sites. You can do it. God is on your side. Ask His forgiveness and start again. You may not believe you are as loyal to Him as you should be, but He is loyal to you, so live up to that. You always deserve to live because He gave you life, He forgave you your sins.
So pick yourself up by your bootstraps (so to speak), look yourself in the mirror, smile and say, "God, I'm giving myself and my problems over to you. Help me through them -- one day at a time." Believe me, He will. YOU ONLY HAVE TO ASK. If you need to talk -- shelbyjunebug072@yahoo.com
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Well, I have this friend, and it seems like every time she gets a boyfriend, she forgets about all of her friends. It drives me crazy b/c we're supposed to be like best friends but everytime she just meets a new guy and like...ditches all of us. And then she wont hang ot with us unless he can come and all she does is like make out in front of us with him. Im getting really annoyed with her but I dont know if i should say something or not... (link)
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Unfortunately, this often happens. Girls meets boy, girl forgets everyone else exists, girl loses boy, girl ultimately loses everyone else.
Stop that last step before it happens. How?
TALK TO HER!!! She probably doesn't even realize she is ignoring y'all or forgetting all about you. Go up to her -- SOON -- and ask her to join you for a quick Coke or something. Whatever you do, don't lash out at her or be accusing or anything like that. Be concerned and loving. Tell her that you've seen this type of behavior/thing go on before and you and her other girlfriends feel left out whenever she has a new boyfriend. And that you'd like to be able to go out with her occasionally without her boyfriend just because she's your friend. You'll always be her friend, but she really hurts your feelings . . . are you getting the feel of how the conversation might go? Hope it helps.
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