about

I am 23 years old. I have a daughter who is about to turn six ( I was 17 when i gave birth to her) and i am 3 months pregnant. I have never been married. I would like to let you know that my advice is genuine. I have been through alot in my life. From childhood problems, relationship problems, family problems. I have done my share of experiencing with drugs and alcohol. I have had suicide thoughts as a teenager. I have autistic triplet brothers and a sister with multiple sclerosis. I have not seen or spoken to my father in 12 years. I hope that i can help you and will do my best.

advice

hey some of my friends are doing this thing when they all gang up on me and its really annoying and im not sure if they r my friends still and a lot of ppl say 2 just hang out w. the guys bc none of them r like the girls (talking about eachother) should i or just play it cool and stay w. my "friends"?

That depends on how your friends are making you feel. When they gang up you, are they singling you out? Or do they gang up on your other friends. Don't let them belittle you are make you feel bad. If they are your true friends, then talk to them. Let them know that you are not amused by their games. If they continue to do it, drop them. You are better than that. Don't put up with it.

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Ther's this guy I like at my school. We flirt back and forth all the time but its a joke we made a couple of months ago. Just about everyone at school knows I like him. In fact, I'm pretty sure he knoew it to. Some times I sit by him at lunch but he kinda ignores me. I wanna tell him I like him but he just to go out with all these slut girlfriends who would make out with him anywhere. and well if i do tell him and we start dating, I don't want to be compared to all those other ex-girlfriends. Should I tell him??

Keep him as a friend. If he is dating girls who are "Sluts", then they dont have any respect for themselves. Keep respect for yourself. I think it would be a good idea to let him know how you feel, because it sounds like you are good friends. I am sure he will give you his honest feed back. If he wants to hook up with you, than you need to ask yourself if you can be strong enough to let him go the first time he hurts you. I only say this because it seems like he hasnt has a steady girlfriend for a while. As far as feeling compared. Don't worry about what others think. You know whats up. Thats all that matters. Good luck!

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my friend who i have known for 6 years just told me that he is in love wit me.. actually its something out of a love movie.. an something i have always wanted.. only i think i dont love him like he loves me.. i love him so much but i dont know if its as a friend or more.. an i cant figure out how to figure that out. PLus there is another problem - i am in love wit someone else.. or wait.. not in love. but i like someone else. a lot.. an i cant figure out if i should go wit my friend of 6 years an try the fairy tale life.. just for a while.. or wait on this other guy (i have been waitin on him to tell me how he feels for a while..i know he likes me but he keeps too much from me, ya know?!) But i need my heart to tell me who to go for an who i rly do love/like. but my heart just wont tell me.. plus another problem. the guy.. fairy tale guy.. best friends wit for 6 years now guy.. well one of my good friends like him..an she doesnt know that hes in love wit me. but he is gonna tell her but. even though im barely friends wit her an i have known him an been tight wit him longer.. ARgh i dunno.. help plz

Lets start with the guy that you are unsure of how he feels. Don't wait on him. It sounds like hes stringing you along. As far as fairy tale guy, go for it. I have a guy friend who i have known for quite a while. I consider him my best friend. We have done our share of messing around and we even dated for a while. But we didnt want to ruin the friendship. It took us some time to realize it, but we werent ruining the friendship, we were making it stronger. We agreed to marry in 7 years if neither of us were married. Now i am with someone else and very unhappy because i realized how much i want to be with "My fairy tale guy" My point is, you know this guy. You know how he is and what hes about. Therefor there are no surprises and you know what to expect. Dont ever let a chance like this pass you by. It could be the best decision you ever make.

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I keep making myself throw up in the shower and my boyfriend just broke up with me but i dont think im fat or anything whats wrong with me? Am i bilemic? i dont think im fat... but i am kinda suicidal and i do cut myself sometimes.... is it just a way for pain or what... someone help me out!!

I have an older sister who used to cut herself. Its something you dont really think about at first. She would not only cut herself but she would rip up all of her photos and letters. She regrets this because now she doesnt have those memories. My point is, if you are suicidal, please please please talk to someone. If you ending up going all the way, and you are gone, memories of you will fade. Its the easy way out and it will hurt your family and those who love you. You are worth so much more! A boyfriend should never be the reason for your pain. I know it can be tough but it is not worth it. Think about all of the things you want to do with your life, and how people will benifit from that. You have importance. And your strength will prove what others already know about you. That you are an awesome person,daughter, friend, cousin, student.....I used to have suicidal thoughts. And then i thought to myself that one day, i wanted to have kids, and i wanted to travel the world, and i wanted to swim with a dolphin, and i wanted to watch my brothers and sisters and neices and nephews grow up. I want to live a great and exciting life. And now i have a beutiful 6 year old daughter and another on the way. They are my reason for living. Plus there is so much more to do!!! Don't waste life. Live it to the fullest. Love yourself. Forget the pain and enjoy the hapiness !!

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It doesn't seem like we have touched on this subject much. I know how contravercial it is...so please dont pass judgement on me. I want advice not a lecture. 2 years ago on Aug 8th I has an abortion. I was 7 weeks Pregnate. I strugle every day with the descion i made. This time of year is the worst though. I had no support from anyone who knew including the scumbag who I had sex with. I mad a rash descion. And to this day I know it was the wrong one. It was increadably selfish. I had more options but I took the easy way out. I should have taken responsibilty for my actions and I didn't. With all that said, my quetion is...what are my chances of being able to conceive a child again. Are they less...or does it make it more difficult becuase of the abortion. Please let me know any info or websites you may know of that can help me. Thanks for your help ! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Always rememebr that your child is with God. Your chances of having another child are just as great. Check for local support groups by using a search engine like "askjeeves" or mamma.com Use key words like "abortion" "Support" "Groups". There are so many people who have made the same decision as you. Just remember that God is by your side.

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I can't stop crying... 2 more hours until my baby leaves for the Navy... I just want to get strong again and STOP crying. I have cried so much that its starting to hurt the rest of my body. I have heard the figurative phrase saying 'her heart hurts.' But I never knew that this would literally hurt my heart... If anyone has any advice or anything... I just don't know how to pull myself together...

Be proud! Your boyfriend is risking alot by choosing that path. You are going to be sad..its a given. But you need to remember that it takes a heart of gold, a soul of steel, and love, to do what your boyfriend is doing. It's OK to cry, but don't let it effect your everyday life. What an honor it must be! My prayers and thoughts are with you.
(Oops! Sorry about the child thing!)

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i could get any guy i wanted last year and the year before that...i thought of myself as ugly but they didnt
now i think im finally beautiful and i cant get a guy at all...its not like i think too highly of myself...whats wrong?

Guys can be just as shy as women. When a guy sees a pretty girl, he is afraid to approach her in fear of rejection. They think the same way we do. So he is probably thinking to himself, "Wow, shes hot, but if i try to talk to her, most likely shes got a boyfriend, or she might not talk to me because they are better looking guys here" When women are beutiful, they are considered unapproachable. Try approaching them. If you have, and they still arent taking the bait, then just gain a friendship first. Its how your true colors appear. First impressions shouldnt be dreadful, but they can be, for girls and guys. If all else fails...remember that being single can be fun!

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Ok I just learned how to run the Laundry machine but the only thing is that when I dryed the clothes, they still smelt like the people who wore them, so is there any specific kinda soap to use and how much do I put in there?

~*Cleaning Ladie*~

Baking soda! Use a half a cup with your normal detergent. It will work.

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I've have a weight problem. I know I do. Everyone one I know tells me i'm skinny and hott and stuff like that and I don't believe it I think that i'm really ugly. I know it's a low self esteem thing but I just don't feel that way. I don't know what to do. I look in the mirror and I see a fat ugly person and I've always made wishes and everything to be pretty and skinny. And then when I go out with friends or something then I get whisled at and get told i'm hott and have even strangers talk to me. I don't believe i'm hott AT ALL! I don't know what to do should I believe my friends and try to see it myself what????? I don't believe it!

-signed lost-

First, throw away all of your girly magazines. Cosmo, Marie Claire, YM, all of them. These magazines are misleading and give you the wrong ideas about what image should be about. You need to love yourself, no matter what you see when you look in the mirror. If your friends say you are attractive, and you get responses from men as well, than girl, you are good looking. It might be a good idea to speak to a counselor regarding the self esteem issue. I am only saying this because i have been in your shoes. Learning how to be confident has made all the difference in my life. And it starts with loving yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. It doesnt really matter what other people think anyways. Its all about what you think.

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(m/14)Theres a girl that I'm getting to know that seems like a great person. She has an awesome personality, hilarious, and athletic, definately three things I look for in a girl. She likes me a lot and I think I'm starting to like her... but theres one catch.. she drinks. I set high goals for myself and like to plan my future, and never would I even THINK about taking a drink till at least 3 or 4 years. I always hate to hang around people who do drink and I guess I'm scared to make a commitment with this girl in case she gets me into drinking too. I mean, if she or I would get caught drinking, it'd screw up our lives big time. What do I do? Continue to like the girl and ignore the drinking?..or discontinue to like her?

You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Think about this....If you start a relationship with this girl, and she offers you a drink, tell her that you don't drink..straight up. If she seems bothered by this or continues to pressure you about it, than get out of the relationship. Apparantly, if it bothers her, than she is not someone you should be with. You have high standards for yourself, and there is nothing wrong with having high standards as far as what kind of girl you are looking for. Be strong and don't give in to pressure. You have a lot going for you, and you have a lot of life ahead of you. I give you props for having goals...and morals. Good for you

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ok our school theres basically 2 groups. preps and punks. and we dont get along. i consider myself a punk. and i try to be nice to the preps but they just like call me a slut and a druggie! i am not a slut. my friends know that i aint. and i am not druggie i dont even smoke. but the preps got it in their heads that i am. and they wont leave me alone about it! and the preppy guys think i am "hot" and they always ask me stuff like "ur so hot why do u hang out with the druggie guys?" well u do cuz a/ most of them arent druggies b. they are super respectful. but i just dont get why preps are so mean to me and my friends. i mean we are nice to them and they are just total jerks (i would use other chioce words) and now we are jerks back to them cuz they are to us! even the teachers are unfair to us cuz we dress different and skate. how can we get this whole thing to stop? its soo incredibly dumb and how can we get the teachers to stop? we cant report to the principal hes worse than the teachers.

Being sterotyped can be mentally painful. Are you a good student? A hard worker? Don't let others reactions to your personal choices effect your school work. Work hard, and your teachers will see that.Also, don't ever be worried about what other people think of you. You are your own person, it's what makes you an individual. You know your friends are good people. If the other "Group" cannot see that, than you are wasting your time, and it proves who really is a better person. The girls in this preppy group could be jealous that you seem to get some attention from these preppy guys which is why they feel like they have to put you down. You don't need to change for anyone..and you don't need to explain yourself to anyone either. Another thing, don't bother with the principal, speak to your counselor instead. If none of this works, go back to plan A and just continue to be your awesome self.

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i met this guy back in february and i liked him right from the start. i had never had a boyfriend before so i was very innexperienced in flirting and stuff. everyone started asking me if i liked him and stuff and i kept saying sure. but then someone told me that he liked me and i was sooo excited!! i really didn't think he did tho cuz he didn't act like it or anyhting. and now my friend likes him!! i seriously can't tell when someone is flirting and i missed my chance!! how can i be better at communicating without putting myself on the line?

I was the same way. I was labeled as quiet and shy...and i sucked at flirting! One of the hardest, but most effective way of flirting is eye contact and smiling. And that is because eye contact proves you are interested. A guy likes a girl who will listen. Have you ever been talking to someone who constantly looks away? Its not very reassuring. Also, smiling is like natures prozac..like the sunshine. And its contagious. Another thing, that i have known to be effective is a wink. If you notice a guy keeps looking at you, and you are interested, wink at him. If you are unsure of whether the guy is interested, then strike up a conversation. Something simple. Even if it sounds like a line, and might not be true, tell him he looks familiar. ask him about school or where he works. If he likes you, he'll keep the conversation going. About your friend, well, what can i say, friends like to compete. Its a given. But let her know when you are interested in a guy. Hopefully she'll get the hint.

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ok this weekend i got my hair cut and i went by myself this time when usually i go with my mom. well my hair person is a guy. and idk who to tell ive only told 1 person and they said i should tell my mom but im so scared. well neways he was talkin bout my tan lin efrom my bikini and then he started lookin at it and he pulled my shirt down and by bra out so he could see my whole boob and i tried to pull his hand away but he grabbed my hand and pulled my shirt down even more. i dint knwo wut to do cuz hes a big buff guy and i was scared to do nething. we were the only ones in there so i couldnt do nething. then he kept grabbin my boobs and he unzipped his pants and told me to look and i told him that i didnt want to and he still did. then after he grabbed my chin and kiss me on the lips like 5 times. and hes like tell me u would do me if u were older.. (im 15 hes 32)and i tried to turn away again and he grabbed my chin and said look at me in a mean controlin voice. i felt so uncomfortable and idk who to tell. idk if u would call that molestation or wut. and its horrible bc i cry all the time now, its been 2 days since it happend. and everytime i wash my hair i remember it and i start to cry bc i was gettin my hair done when this happend. im so scared to tell my parents. what should i do????
plz help me im so scared

Tell your parents! If you are uncomfortable doing this, talk to your school counselor. What he did is not just molestation, its assault! And very ilegal. Rember that he could be doing this to other girls. Stand up for your rights! Your voice will be heard.

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heyy i just got my first bf about a month ago but i broke up with him in lyk 4 days! i did not feel lyk i was ready for a relationship and even though my parents said it was ok i knew that they were not thrilled about it! He got mad at me a i felt really bad! What do i do not?

P.S. I am goin to a party later this week and ik he is goin to be there idk what to say to himeven though he knows my reason for brekin up with him! plz help me!!

How old are you? If he already knows the reason for the break up, maybe you could explain it to him again to reassure him that its not him. Hang out with him as a friend. Then you can understand why he got upset. Maybe it is because he really likes you, or maybe he is upset because of a sex realted issue. Guys will feel inadequate if they arent able to go to "3rd base" . If this is the case then he is not worth it. Also, i would hope your parents are understanding of your desicion. Talk to them, maybe they can give you advice. Only YOU know YOU..and if you are not ready, then you are not ready. You make that call. No one else

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k..well me and this guy went out for a year in 7th grade...then we broke up in 8th grade..he got wit this 7th grader..then we was posed 2 get back wit me..but he ended up getting wit this other girl..nd then i moved on...then he got with this HOE...i mean..she went out with all of his homeboiz...ALL OF THEM...nd then they even lost it with each other..nd then my the end of the school year...he transferd schools...everyone said theyre were still together..and everyone knew he was cheating on her...then that night of my 8th grade promotion..he was there @ this party..nd then the day after that he started calling me..sayin him & the HOE broke up...nd so we started talking for like a month..then we stopped talking..bkuz i heard he started talking to this girl that thinks she was my friend..and then i bump into him on 4th of july..and then we started talking again..and we started going out...and we stop talking again..bkuz he started ignoring me @ this party..and i danced wit a guy..nd then i find out..he was still with this HOE..and wen i see them @ tha movies...the HOE was there...and this other girl..that was my friend in school!..and finds out..hes still talkin to that other girl{that thinks shes my friend}..and one of his ex-girlfriends- Friend...

and well here is the thing...when we went out for a year..we was in love wit each other!!..but then throughout the months..it took me forever to get over him..and when i FINALY get over him...thats when we started talking again!...and all my feelings kept rushing back...and just recently he came over my house!..and we sorta made out!..and i want to get over him..bkuz i know wut a HOE he is himself..but i mean!..i still do love him!...ADVICE ME PLEASE!

It sounds like this guy is what we like to call, a 'Charmer'. He has a way with words. He knows what to do and say to make you come back to him over and over. If you write all the good things and bad things about him on paper, what would it weigh out to be? Just remember to respect yourself and remind yourself that you are worth more than that. How old are you? You will learn a lot of lessons in your life. It will only make you stronger. Just know when to draw the line. Hes not worth it.

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ok wen i am in mi room i lyk pu t a stripping gshow on in mi room by myself. and wen i am at school or sumpin i am really she an dall mi friends think i am a goodie too-shoes. how can i make mi friends not think i am a goodie too shoes???
help!!!!!! ill rate u a 5 just 4 helpong me

It might be a good idea to keep your reputation as a "Goodie too shoes" Believe it or not, but your friends are probably envious of your strong willed personality. It will gain you a lot of respect. Don't ever feel pressured to do anything for the entertainment of your friends. Being labeled as a goodie goodie, is rare, yet respected, now-a-days.

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i am 14 years old and i have had this porn in my room and and my grandma found it and showed it to my dad. my dad confronted me about it, but we didn't finish talking about. now that i've have a while to think about it, i really want to lie!! it's so embarrasing that he knows about it!! he might not think of me the same way again and i really don't want to be uncomfortable around him. what should i say?

Hopefully, your dad can understand that all teenagers are curious about sex. Have you and your dad every talked about the subject? If not, since you havent finished talking about the porn, it might be a good idea to be mature and confront him. Let him know that you feel it is normal to be curious. Are you sexually active? If not, then reassure him that you are not having sex but you understand about being protected and being safe. If you are, than please be honest with your dad. He will understand and probably have some wise advice.Good luck, and remember to be honest!

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