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Dragonflymagic
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I do best answering questions that are related to careers, marriage, children, dating and other interpersonal matters.
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Ever since I was little(I'm 17 now), my parents haven't gotten along. I don't know why they haven't gotten a divorce. They can never get along. We can't spend one day or ever go out as a family without them getting into an argument. They had a fight a few days ago and I feel like they're gonna have another one soon. And even if they do start talking to each other again (which is almost never), they just end up fighting again. They don't even talk to each other like normal parents, my dad never wants to talk about me or my brother or my sister(who has a disability). He never wants to talk to my mom about our family. He comes come, cooks for himself, showers, watches tv, and goes to sleep. He doesn't care if any of us have eaten but he always makes sure that he has food for himself. He has never even once asked me or my siblings about our school,grades,or anything and my brother's in his 4th yr of college. He has never attended any of my school meetings or asked about where I applied to college or where I got accepted or where I even want to go. It's ALWAYS my mom that has to do everything for me and my siblings, buying food, clothes, making sure we go to school and come home, cleaning the house, cooking, everything. She struggles so much to provide for us and on top of that she works at night and comes home in the morning and she has health problems. She's diabetic and a few years she had surgery on one of her legs. Even during that time he never went to see how she was doing or did anything for her. It was always me and my brother who went to visit her in the hospital every day. A few years ago when my sister was in the hospital it was always me and my mom who went to visit her every single day at night. I am just so tired of them fighting over the same things, wouldn't it be much better for everyone if they just got a divorce or were living separately. A bunch of times he has even thrown out food that my mom has bought or spent hours cooking. He throws out stuff that she buys, saying its "garbage." Why should he throw out stuff that she spent money on? She never does that to anything he buys. He also doesn't even care about my sister. She has a mental disability and couldn't finish high school. he doesn't care if she doesn't eat or drink or even get up from her bed. Never once has he given her her medication that she has to take everyday.It's always me or my mom that does it. I don't know why he still stays if he doesn't care about my mom or any of us. I don't even talk to him anymore, it's been years. I feel so stupid when I do because I know that he doesn't give a shit about me(sorry for my language). My sister is also causing problems because she gives my mom soo much stress. She messes up the house and my mom is the one who has to tell her to clean up, take her medication, get up in the morning, go eat, everything. I also have really low self esteem and I barely even have any friends or anyone to talk about this, that's why I'm writing it here. I haven't let any of my problems at home affect my schoolwork, I do well academically.It's one of the things that I actually enjoy and my goal is to get a good job after college so I can finally buy my mom a house. I don't even know if that's gonna happen.
Dear I'm 17 now,
Reading your question has brought me near to tears. This is so sad. I can only imagine the stress that your sister, mom and you are experiencing. I want you to know that I'll be praying for you all daily.
I don't need to tell you that there's an enormous difference between a father and a dad. While you have a father, it appears you're going to have to live without a dad. In fact, the responsibilities that your father is neglecting has now fallen onto you. You're going to have to step up and fill the void as best you can.
If there's no food prepared, it'll be up to you to prepare it. It's really not that difficult. You'll also have to look out for your sister. When she makes a mess, help her clean it up and remind her of her medications. Help mom as much as possible because the strain is greatest for her.
I'm so sorry but you're going to have to become an adult right now. It's going to be tough but believe me, if you can do this, you and your whole family will be much better in the long run.
I'm also going to suggest that you talk with a school counselor. There may be resources that may be useful.
I'm a senior in high school and I really don't have any friends. There are people that I say hi to once in a while when I see them but we're not very close. I do have one very close friend but we have no classes this year together and barely even talk anymore. I spend my free period and lunch in the library by myself doing work. Even in my classes I have no one to talk to and I feel really pathetic just sitting there. I'm a nice and friendly person but I can't seem to make any friends. I also have very low self esteem, which I know is causing me a lot of problems but I can't seem to change it. I'm always feeling like a loser. I do well academically but I can't even participate in my classes because I'm worried about others will think. I feel like no one wants me around and I feel useless and worthless. I just can't wait for this school year to end, I'm going to college this year and I really want to try to talk to people more and make some friends. I usually don't go up to someone and talk to them first because I feel like I'll be bothering them or they won't wanna talk to me. Anyways, I'm not really asking for advice, I just wanted to say this since I have no one else to really talk about it with. My life at home isn't really any better.
Dear I feel pathetic,
Self esteem is all about how you estimate yourself and the hard truth is, if you don't rate yourself very highly, others won't either. You may even anticipate rejection and expect to be ignored or mistreated. People with low self esteem tend to be very sure of themselves and that's the problem, it manifests in their conviction that they are worthless or inadequate.
My advice to you is: Redefine failure and keep trying. The fact that you do well academically is proof that you're intelligent and I'd be willing to bet that when you want to, you could regale people with interesting stories that would crack them up. You could be the perfect partner or friend and I'm sure that you possess a genuine good heart.
However, no amount of intelligence or humor can give you the same sense of personal gratification or a sense of purpose as a genuine "thank you" from someone that you've helped in some way. As soon as you're willing to stop being so wrapped up in your own worries and start being a part of the bigger picture, with a role to play in this universe, your sense of self worth and self esteem will get a whole new definition. Give of yourself freely and help others whenever you can. You'll get more than what you thought you ever needed.
So, I FULLY awoke to a woman's playfully evil laugh. In my head, I asked, "What the hell was that?!" And she said, "Why? Is it wrong?" And then I felt soft, delicate hands on my side, and you know when you were six years old and you had a friend try to playfully push you off the bed? That's what she did. Then she joked about shoelaces or something, but I can't remember.
Please don't tell me I was dreaming, because I know myself. I know when I'm fully awake.
How can I possibly communicate with her like that again? Please help! I felt so safe and loved with her.
There's the myth of the succubus, which is a female demon who visits men in their sleep and seduces them, stealing their sperm and draining their life force. By doing so, they cause an addiction to the succubus' insidious charms, they steal the man’s soul and debilitate him to the point of death.
I'm not saying that this is definitely the cause but it was the first thing that came to mind as I read your question and I think it's appropriate to warn you of the possibility.
So i'm 16 years old and my mom recently been asking me questions amif im still a virgin and stuff, could she actually take me to a doctor and could determine if i've been sexually active ? Even though I don't want to? Without my permission?
No ethical physician aware of the laws of privacy is going to speculate on your virginity. There is no medical test for virginity, only whether the hymen is intact or not. Many girls, rupture their hymen innocently enough in the course of normal activity as young as 3 or 4 years of age.
hi! ive been vegan for about 7 months and i did the change because i love animals and also health.its been great,ive been mostly eating whole foods,fruit & veg.i dont think about meat or dairy,i never liked meat that much beofore so it was easy giving it up,but now & then i start craving sea food,like salmon,shrimp & clams,its food that i grew up with and love.please give me some inspiration and tell me how bad fish is,i need some motivation because i wont to stay on track.
Dear Vegan,
You could be craving iodine or something else that is in seafood. Try taking a multivitamin & mineral or iodine supplement and see if the craving goes away. If you're just craving the taste, try the vegetarian 'fish', prawns etc. Asian grocery stores are usually the best places to find them.
Hello guys. This is my first year in college and I'm already freaking out. In my English class we were told to write a rhetorical analysis essay on the declaration of independent and I'm having trouble writing it. If you know anything about the declaration of indeperendence, would you please help me. You can reply with your email and I can send you a world document of what I have so far and you can advice me on what I can add or write. Please guys I really need some help. Thank you so much in advance to those that are willing to help me out and may God bless you
Dear first year in college,
You're in luck because this is a very common freshman assignment and there's a lot of help for you online. Remember, the internet is your friend in matters like this.
Here's a link to a number of well written essays on this very subject. Do NOT copy the work and present it as your own but feel free to use their papers to help you create your own. http://www.studymode.com/subjects/rhetorical-analysis-essay-about-declaration-of-independence-page1.html
What channel is upn on fios tv?
Channel 21 UPN — KTXA-TV.
21/f
I'm not sure if this has to deal with anything, but I have been on birth control for 2 years now. I switched birth control pills 7 months ago. The doctor's have prescribed me the pills that would help me skip my period and only have it every three months.
Last year, I started off losing interest in meat. I would eat it whenever it is in front of me, I would order things that contain meat. Months later, I started becoming tired of meat and I wasn't able to finish it, then give it off to the person next to me. Now, I am nauseous of meat, whenever I think of something in particular, when I see something, I get nauseous. The other day, I ate some wings and then got tired of it and ate the rest of it the day afterward.
I'm not sure what it is, but lately I have also been craving for pickles and milkshakes. I heard those were common for pregnant women. So, I took a pregnancy test, and it was automatically negative. My doctor said that if I try to skip my period, my body will trick itself into thinking that its pregnant, could this be it? But if so, it doesn't make sense when it comes to me feeling nauseous towards meat.
Any opinions? What do you think it is? Am I slowly becoming a vegetarian without my choice?
Your craving for pickles and milk shakes and your increasing distaste for meat is entirely consistent with being pregnant.
Pregnant women develop sensitivities to foodstuffs that might contain pathogens that could harm the baby. Meat is one of the most likely sources of food poisoning. So, during pregnancy the body is more likely to trigger nausea at the sight, smell or taste of meat.
As you aren't pregnant, either your doctor is right and the birth control pills are causing your body to simulate pregnancy or you're experiencing a change in consciousness that is leading you toward a vegetarian diet.
I have one coping skill and that is being on the computer. It is not healthy in other peoples opinion but I don't care. It is the only thing that helps me. I have tried everything else anyone has recommended but people are still telling me that being on the computer is not healthy. What do I do?
Losing yourself online can make feelings such as loneliness, stress, anxiety, depression and boredom evaporate into thin air. Spending a lot of time online only becomes a problem when it absorbs too much of your time, causing you to neglect your relationships, your work, school, or other important things in your life.
This is something that you must determine for yourself, If you think that maybe you are too involved with your computer to the detriment of other important facets of your life, you should research the matter and seek help, if it's necessary. You could begin by visiting: http://www.psychguides.com/category/internetcomputer/
(Sorry this is long, I'm in desperate need of help)
I'm 15 with very severe anxiety. Well, straight to the point, I feel like I'm being watched. I saw my dad looking at pornographic photos a few days ago (And a few times before that months apart), and ever since, I've felt weird. I felt like this before that, but now it's worse I think. I feel like my dad is a pedophile for some reason, but I think it's just my bad anxiety. For example, I don't want to go to a male therapist because I'm afraid of being molested. I have crazily bad anxiety, so..
Also, I haven't been raped before or anything nor touched by my dad. But I just feel like there are cameras in my room or something and I get scared. Also in the bathroom when I take a shower, I'm scared of a camera being in the mirror or somewhere. I also lock my door everytime I go somewhere, shower, etc. What do I do about this? Is it just my anxiety? I feel unsafe everywhere. Whenever I see my dad or come out of my room, I feel so weird and I avoid him or don't talk to him. Please don't tell me to discuss this with him or seek professional help, I'm just hoping someone can help me.
Dear In desperate need of help.
While I can't tell you exactly what's wrong, it's obvious that you're in a world of hurt. If you were my grand daughter, I would have you see the family physician. If your doctor is male, you can ask that a nurse be present during the examination. You should be as candid with the physician as you've been here in writing your question. They can make a preliminary diagnosis and perhaps prescribe something to give you some relief and then refer you to the place where the most effective treatment is available.
so, I have been friends with tracy for 15+ yrs and thought our friendship was a close one. ( she lived with my family for over a year when I was over the road truck driving). her daughter is getting married in july and dress fitting is this week. tracy and I haven't been talking lately and im chalking it up to her boyfriend.
you see, tracys boyfriend jeff wants to go to her daughters wedding. seeing jeff up close and personal and dealing with him for a week at another vacation we had taken. I really don't think this is the guy for her. he is an alcoholic and talks to tracy like crap whenever he drinks too much. I don't like it and wont put up with that at her daughters wedding. I don't know if I even want to go knowing he is going to be there and up tracys ass the whole time. she wants to introduce him to her parents ( dad recovering alcoholic from many moons ago). I don't think this is a smart decision. what to do
Dear friends with Tracy,
I understand and appreciate your dilemma. However, this wedding isn't about you, Tracy, Jeff or anyone else. It's Tracy's daughter very special day. It should be something that she will remember for the rest of her life. Should you, Jeff or anyone else do anything to to mar the beauty or perfection of the ceremony or the reception, she will not forgive them in this world or the next. If you decide to attend, your sole function will be to share in the joy of the occasion.
My advice to you is to attend. Dress in your best suit and put on the aspect of character that best reflects the spirit of the occasion, happy, smiling, respectful, unflustered and loving and maintain it to the end of the day. However, if you don't think you're capable of putting your resentments in your pocket for the duration of the wedding, it would be for the best to make a credible excuse and do something else on the day of the wedding.
How to get a boy to like u without telling them u like them
Actions speak louder than words. When he notices that you are seeking out his company, paying attention when he speaks, touch him at every opportunity and so on...He'll get the idea quick enough.
Can someone please explain to me what's abusive about Fifty Shades of Grey.
I'm a soon to be 24 year-old woman who is highly turned on by the type of material in the book. Although I have never engaged in BDSM, I love it when my boyfriend dominates me, and I fantasize about engaging in the activity.
Is BDSM abusive? Is there something wrong with me thinking so highly in allowing my boyfriend who I trust to dominate me?
Will I allow my relationship to become dangerous if I tell him to engage in this kind of behavior?
Dear soon to be 24 year old woman,
I matters such as this, opinion is highly subjective. "Different strokes for different folks."
I don't think that there's necessarily anything "wrong" with you. You're certainly entitled to your views and practices of sexual expression. However, you should understand that to some people, BDSM and abuse are one and the same. Others can appreciate the difference in other people’s relationships but find it difficult to apply that same logic to their own relationships.
50 shades of grey has been criticized by some for the encouragement of violence against women. Emotional and sexual abuse is pervasive, including several instances of rape. Reprehensible threats and behavior are represented as playful fun; force ends up being acceptable.
First off, I am 14 & he is 16. We both met eachother on 1/15/14. We are going to make one year on February 19, 2015. But this year has been a real struggle for the both of us. In the beginning we loved each other like crazy. He knew i wasnt allowed to date though. My parents found out about us and forbid us to see eachother. I have really strict parents so i cant even hang out with friends. This struggle has caused us both to lose feelings. We still love/care each other so we havent broken up, but currently we are on a break. What do you think I should do ?
Dear 14,
It would probably be for the best to continue being on a break until such time as your parents decide that you are mature enough to date. I can see no reason for the two of you to "break up" when you still have feelings for each other.
Why not approach your parents with the idea of him being allowed to visit with you in your own home in their full view. You might suggest that you would like to study together.
Hi! I'm a 14-year-old girl and I've been feeling really weird lately. Everything that I'm about to list has been going on for about a month now: I cry over EVERYTHING. For example: My dad said to stop playing guitar because I was too loud and he was trying to work so I went to my room and cried. I've been really irritable as well. I do have a generally short fuse but now it's even worse; I've even been going off on my parents occasionally (which I feel terrible about afterward). My little sister even decided not to share a bedroom with me because I was constantly yelling. I've been eating and sleeping way more as well. I had a relatively healthy diet in the past, but now I get home from school and eat a bag of popcorn, a pop tart, crackers, chocolate, and anything else I can get my hands on. I get super drowsy and just kind of lay down wherever I am whether that be the floor, a chair, a bed. I'm wide awake throughout the day but I get home and it's like school drained me of my life. I use to really like school. I don't like a lot of things that I use to like. I'm openly rude to all of my friends and I don't want to be around them. I sit in the bathroom and read during lunch periods sometimes. Speaking of reading, I only feel okay when I'm reading or on my blog. What's wrong with me??
Dear Haven't been myself lately,
It's hard to tell if you're suffering from depression or merely experiencing these things as a normal part of just growing up and being a 14 year old girl.
If these "weird" feelings continue or worsen, it might be prudent to express these things to your school counselor, who can arrange for you to receive the help you need to get back on track.
Another possibility is that many, if not all, of your symptoms could be caused by a diet that's deficient in key nutrients. My advice to you would be to consume more fruits and vegetables and eat less sugary snacks.
Does anyone have any ideas for what to do for Valentine's Day when you and your boyfriend (college students) are flat broke? I'm talkin' scraping change off the floorboard of your car broke. Is there anything we can do that doesn't cost money? Should we float Valentine's Day until we can afford to celebrate it well? Is there a way we can get some money (even just a little) fast?
There's no reason to bow down to the mighty St. Valentine promotional machine. Why not make a conscious decision to celebrate Valentine’s day in the spirit it is meant to be celebrated?
The real spirit of Valentine’s day is to recapture the original passion, admiration and love that you felt when you first realized that you belong together. Perhaps you can surprise him by trying to repeat, as much as possible, of that first day. Spending time and being creative tells your beloved that you really thought things through and that you took trouble to show him how much you love him. In fact, by rejecting any store-bought gifts in favor of home-made gifts and personal attention is, in a retro kind of way, the coolest thing you can possibly do.
I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas for a tasty punch made with Arbor Mist Merlot Blackberry. I got it as a gift and it looks very appetizing but the alcohol content is low. I was thinking we could make a group punch, maybe some sprite or club soda with vodka and cranberry or something? I'd like personal ideas ONLY. Please don't send me links to recipe pages. Just tell me how you'd mix it to make a group drink. Thank you.
How about making Arbor Mist Blackberry Merlot ice cubes? Add 2-3 Tablespoons water. Fill ice cube trays or Jell-O molds slightly more than half-full and freeze. Once frozen, add to your favorite chilled punch.
Thanks for your comments to my original question. But I haven't raped anyone. It was a lie by the person. They're just using it for attention and presents.
Dear I didn't...
Although I didn't answer any of your previous questions, I've reviewed them carefully.
My advice to you is to seek out some help as you appear to be very confused and hurting. I suggest that you contact the center for mental health in your area. They can help you to put all this in perspective in a safe, supportive, confidential environment.
I do wish you the very best with hopes that you'll be able to resolve this conflict and move on with your life.
It seems like things are closing in on me. I have been having some health essues. One thing the Doc and family me to do is to stop smoking. I am having a very hard time with it. I have smoked for over 50 years. I get to be a relly bear and lose control. I just don't know were to turn from here. We have been tying the e-cigs also. I am scared..
Dear Thinking about...
As someone who is now well into my 75th year, I can say with confidence that Bette Davis was right when she said: "Old Age Isn't for Sissies."
Health issues are among the most major issues that we must deal with. We live in such a polluted and toxic environment that adding the poisons of nicotine and the related chemicals in cigarette smoke seems almost to be an act of insanity. However, when we were young, it seemed the thing to do. Everybody did it and there was the pressure of going along with the gang.
Thinking about (unthinkable) is a very drastic remedy. Of course, you'll be through with cigarettes, as well as all of your health problems but there's no way to do it without leaving a horrible mess that your loved ones will be forced to deal with and it's not an honorable or a courageous act. This isn't the way you want to be remembered by your family and friends.
My advice to you be DETERMINED TO QUIT: http://www.determinedtoquit.com/ and consider the possibility that you may be suffering from depression. It happens to lot of us old timers but there's help available to overcome it. If you can talk to a trusted friend, perhaps a minister or someone at the closest mental health center, they may be helpful to brighten your outlook. You may also e-mail me, if you wish. The address is listed on my advice column.
You can do this! Nobody reaches our level of seniority without having overcome many difficult and a few almost impossible challenges. Best wishes with hopes for success and happiness.
I have finished my high school six month ago.I really want to start working yet i don't have any experience and I don't fell starting my university/collage as to now because i want to get a job before pursuing my studies.So kindly what advice will you give me about this.Regards
Why can't you do both? I held a job all during my undergraduate years and my studies didn't suffer. I did have a bit less time to get myself in trouble but I usually had enough money to keep my car serviced and gassed up as well as the wherewithal to show the ladies a good time as well.