Member Since: September 12, 2011
Answers: 190
Last Update: April 26, 2016
Visitors: 10373
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Please, a direct answer to question, What is a painless way to committ suicide? Please no advise on help groups and please do not respond with reasons I should continue living. (link)
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After 30+ years of nursing, Ican assure you there are no ways of committing suicide painlessly, all methods are painful, some are long and drawn-out,
others are quicker but just as painful.
If you can explain your problem, there might be a way around it. No-one can help if no-one knows what's wrong. Why throw away your life for something that could be easily resolved?
You'll never know if you don't try it out.
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im in year 9 and ive known this girl for about 5 years and i really like her but im to shy to talk to her how do i get the confidence to talk to her and could i have like a couple of tips on getting her to notice me (link)
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When you talk to this girl, I think you need to concentrate on her, her interests, her thoughts on school, weather, traffic whatever, at least until you feel more confident. She might be just as shy as you, so unless you ask her questions, it'll be a very quiet time!
I'd imagine that after 5 years in the same class she knows you pretty well, as much as you probably know her, so trying to be someone you aren't will just seem false to her. Chances are, she's already aware of you and that you like her, so you're halfway there already.
Smile at her and ask if she's like to chat with you; ask how she feels about a school assignment, could you get together to discuss various ideas?
Do you share an interest in music? You might have tickets for a concert that she might like to attend; how about doing some assignment research together at the library.
Your meetings don't have to revolve around schoolwork, shopping for your Mum's birthday present or Easter egg will do just as well. Don't
worry if you can't think of something to say all the time, a friendly silence can be good.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Best wishes X.
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When I was little, I never had to work hard in school. I've always been smart, and so I could easily do better than the other kids without trying. Once I started middle school, things started getting a little harder, and I generally made do, but once I got into high school, I started falling behind. Now I'm in college, with about a 2.9 and falling, and still no work ethic. I'm not waking up in time for classes, I'm not turning in assignments, and I've developed some serious school-related anxiety (which is contributing to the above). I don't want to have to continue to watch myself slide down this slippery slope, but I don't know how to fix this and make changes that will help me succeed in the long run. What sorts of things can I do to get my life in order? (link)
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First, I think you need to let your tutors know that you're struggling with assignments, they may give you extensions, as long as you keep to them!
Pin a large calendar on your bed/workroom wall that has enough space to note down assignments and due dates, also mark in when to start working on them. Keep checking this calendar to keep up to date. Tutors may also help with assignment writing skills if you find that as hard as I did.
Work out how many hours sleep you need every night to be at your best and keep to it. Weekends might allow a late night or morning after lie-in, but not too many.
Get together with friends after receiving assignments to bounce ideas around about what the assignment needs, make notes about these conversations to remind you of those excellent inspiring ideas your friends had that you never thought of!
These are all things I wish I'd done last year when I had a third in History and English.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Best wishes X.
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last night i was looking at my boyfriend Facebook and some girl posted a status saying "I hate sleeping alone, I need a boyfriend with money" he clicked on like and told her "I have money, a living room and a kitchen" she just said "hehehe" but every time she wrote something he would like her comment! There is another girl that i don't want him talking to because she has feelings for him and he knows this. Well last night she wrote a status saying"I didn't went to school!~My clock" He licked her status. Why would he do that.? I just don't understand him. I don't want to tell him anything because I already talked to him about it, but look now. Im so confused. What do you suggest me to do? or if you were in this situation what would you do? :'( (link)
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I'm not sure I'm the right person to answer this question as I don't do social networking sites at all. I've had bad experiences with texting, reading things into someone's innocent texts led to big arguments in my family.
Your boyfriends actions sound like innocent flirting; a man and a woman can talk to each other without them being accused of betraying their partners.
However, both these girls sound as if they have a motive of their own, fishing maybe, for a new partner? a casual one-night-stand relationship?
We may never know, and neither does your boyfriend but he seems to be open to 'liking' them whatever they say, flirty or not.
How would he feel if the situation were reversed, I wonder, and you were replying to such comments by 'liking' them?
If you mention this to him, he may well accuse you of nagging. In a perfect world of equality,both sexes woulod be able to behave as they liked without fear; however, the Western world remains under the patriarchal thumb and women are controlled by men in many ways, such as being careless of a partner's feelings.
If you suggested this reversed role situation to him as an example of how you feel about his facebook behaviour, it might encourage him to change his ways, or at least, consider your feelings.
Hope this helps, let me know how yu get on?
Best wishes X.
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My boyfriend and I broke up and he returned my things...He was using the strategy to try and talk to me but i was working so he did not catch me home.....i am usually at school on mondays but i had to be at work because my boss forgot and put me on schedule to work....he thought i would be home but i was working....we ended up talking on the phone and he thought that i hd been hanging out with another guy...he didnt trust me....i didnt trust him either....the conversation ended in him breaking up with me. A part of me is relieved and another in denial......I still have some of his tees and hats and stuff like that....I want to return it but in a very classy way. Would going to his work and giving them back while he is on break be a good idea? Or just dropping a box with his things at his door step? I want it to be a pinch for him...I feel it's so immature of him to break up over the phone....I feel like if he saw me it would be a different story... (link)
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How you return his stuff depends on the message you want him to take from it. Do you want him to be sorry that he dumped you or not?
Revenge is a common reaction to being dumped, ripping up clothes, breaking CDs and other stuff then leaving it outside his door in a bin bag is very satisfying but immature and destructive.
You could post his belongings; drop them off at his work, in a smart bag with a card saying "Thank you for giving me my kife back!"; you could ask a friend to give them to him, as you're SO upset; or just bag them, knock on his door, hand them over, give a dazzling smile and leave, without saying a word.
The choice is yours. I'd rather be classy and rederved than spiteful and nasty; depends on how you want him to remember you.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Best wishes X.
To answer your question on the ratings page, yes, sending him a text to say you've left his stuff at the door is OK, shows you care that he gets them back. After all, if he didn't get them back, he'd have a motive to contact you again. Move on but don't tread on him too hard. Who knows, he might be the next mechanic servicing your car, or dentist taking your teeth out! Vest wishes X.
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im sorry i just read your post.... on the suicide question... i read how you lost your btwin brother at the ag 26... ive recently lost my mother and have no one to talk too.. and i am lost and conteplate suicide... how do you move on from such a huge heartbreak... is it even possible.. my name is lupe email me at lupevirgen1989@hotmail.com thank you... (link)
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I'm answering your question through the Advicenators site as my email account is shared.
Although you feel heartbroken and lost now, soon after your mother's death, it is possible to get through such sadness.
You do have someone to talk to, there's usually someone on this website, Samaritans, bereavement counsellors can be found at many undertakers and crematoria, doctor or priest. All these would be happy to listen, sympathise and try to help you move on from your grief.
This is important as although your mother died, you didn't. Your life goes on, armed with happy memories of your Mum. How would she feel if she knew you had died because of her? She didn't give you life for you to throw it away.
Tomorrow is a new day, use it to start climbing out of grief, remembering your Mum but starting anew with hope.
Hope this helps a bit, let me know if you feel I can help further? Best wishes, XXX.
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So last Spring Break this guy that I couldn't stop thinkiong about asked me out and of course I said yes. I liked him so much that whenever I thought of him (while we were going out) I would lose my appitie. So for the next week I barely ate anything because of the horrible butterflies I got from him.... A couple of months later things weren't going too well and he broke up with me. He said I wasn't good enough for him, which are words from his friends. My friends told him opposite though. Anyway, I know he was a jerk and I shouldn't be worried about this but one of my friends said something that worries me today...
I have a friend that is kind of plugged into ALLL of the school drama and such, he said that my ex still realllly likes me. He doensn't really ever talk to me and I text him once a month or so but he never replies. What do you think I should beleive? (link)
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The saying "actions speak louder than words" came to mind as I read your question.
His friends tell you that he dumped you because you weren't good enough for him. I think you should make it clear to them, so the3y can tell him, that you're happy to meet him as a friend but getting involved with him again is out of the question until he proves himself to be good enough for you. Treat him as you would any prospective boyfriend, with reservations.
Did he explain why he dumped you or is it all from his friends? If it was all from his friends, you need to check that out, sometimes things get confused. It bothers me slightly that he couldn't explain it to you himself. Are you so scary or is he so weak that he had to ask his friends to do his dirty work? Not very grown-up behaviour. Perhaps you're better off without him.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Best wishes X.
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There is this girl, and she thought that I didn't like her.
So our boyfriends are bestfriends, and her boyfriend is my bestfriend as well. We went to play bingo together, and her boyfriend told me that she was worried that I didn't like her.
So when she was sitting down, I went over and explained to her that I didn't have a problem with her at all, I had NO reason not to like her.
Than all of a sudden, her chest got bright red with like white dots in it.
What does that mean? (link)
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This sounds like an embarrassed reaction. Perhaps she told her boyfriend about her worries over you in confidence. WHen you said that you had no reason not to like her, she realised that her boyfriend had betrayed her trust and told you. This sounds over-framatic, I know, but that's how it feels when this happens. possibly she, didn't tell him to keep it a secret, just assumed he would.
Also, some peolpe react like this when they feel singled out, being the focus of everyone's attention can be embarrassing. Maybe she feels awkward because you and her boyfriend are best mates, perhaps she suspects you may be closer to him than she first thought.
Hope this helps, best wishes.
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Im 16 and planning on getting my belly button pierced. I was wondering how long it would take to heal, how much it would cost, how old i have to be? Also how much does it hurt? I have a medium pain tolerance, ive dislocated my knee before but i dont think it the best with pain. So anything and everything you could tell me would be great thanks! :) (link)
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I don't know about the cost or legal age for piercing of belly buttons, I'd imagine the cost varies according to the person doing it. I've no personal experience of belly-button piercing either but I know several people who have had it done recently.
Most of the piercings healed within 4 or 5 months, 2 took up to a year to fully heal. All of them said it was more painful than ear-piercing, closer to the pain of an abdominal operation but centred on one area.
Hope this helps a bit, sorry I can't be more specific. Best wishes X.
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What is an "implicit dialogue"? I have no idea what that means. (link)
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I THINK implicit means non-spoken and dialogue is conversation or si,ilar, so maybe it means an unspoken conversation/ This might be when you guess what someone is trying to say by their body language or what they're NOT saying. It's hard to explain it but I've read an email joke thing that uses words women say that mean very different things to the usual meanings.
Hope this helps and I haven't totally muddled you up! Best wishes X.
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To start off with, I'm not a dad... but I'm prepping myself for the day.
My question revolves around this article I read tonight... and I would like to get opinions from real world perants, or, well, from everyone willing to state whever they have kids or not and their reasoning behind it.
Would you consider manipulting your child into doing something that you want them to do? (link)
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Depends on a number of factors, on the child, the situation and what the parent wants them to do.
WHen my son was little, he was quite shy and needed lots of encouragement to do things in school that involved putting himself forward, as in going on stage in plays etc. Some people might see that as manipulation, but once there, doing the play, he thoroughly enjoyed it.
Some children need a similar sort of encouragement to do things that make the parent look good, sa in kissing aged aunts, writing thank you letters for Christmas presents when all they want to do is play, getting good school grades in subjects they don't enjoy. These are aerll good things to do but not always what the child wants to do, so a certain amount of manipulation is required!
These are minor manipulations, the problem might arise when the parent forgets that the child has a mind of their own and want to do what they want to do. Its a very fine line between manioulation and over-control.
Hope this hhelps, good luck with your future parent-hood. Best wishes.
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why iam alive (link)
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You're alive because somewhere there is someone who's waiting to meet you, maybe next week or next year, but some day.
When you meet them, you may be soulmates, you may not, but you'll make a difference to each other's lives.
Best wishes X.
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36years why is my vaginal always wet? please help. (link)
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I don't know if this will help you but I think the vagina is meant to be wet, to a certain extent. It's hard to judge just how wet is wet, but certainly wet enough to allow sex to be comfortable and easy.
If it's wet enough to be dripping all the time, I'd suggest visiting your doctor; possibly you have an infection or other condition in the vagina or uterus that is causing the extra fluid.
(The doctor will probably want to do an internal examination, so be prepared!)
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Best wishes x.
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how to make suicide in home (link)
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This is a very hard question to answer. Wherever you commit suicide is going to be devastating for whoever finds you. Do you really want to put someone through that experience, which might affect them for the rest of their life?
Suicide is never easy, dying looks straight-forward on TV and in films but it doesn't work like that. Most suicides are long drawn-out deaths, full of fear and pain. DO you really want that to be your last experience in this world?
Can you find someone to talk to about your wish to commit suicide? A friend, family member, doctor, teacher, priest, Samaritans, Advicenators, anyone who will listen and help you to make the right decision for you.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on? I really want to help, so if you feel I can, get in touch again through Advicenators. Stay safe x.
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I don't tan, all I do is burn. I NEVER tan because my body just doesn't do it lol. So I was wondering if there was something I could do to help it besides spray tan or burn. Are there like herbs or something that could help? Also do guys like pale girls? Becuase ir seems like every guy I know doesn't like it...Thanks! :D (link)
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This probably isn't relevant to your question at all, but its worth a try maybe...
I've always burned when out in the sun, even when I was in the shade but sitting close to a caravan which was warm from the sun, I burnt!
Recwently, I've been applying body lotion or aqueous cream (usually quite cheap and available from most good pharmacies) daily after my shower to arms and legs, also brushing the skin on my legs to improve circulation.
I don't know whch of those actions has had the desired effect but the result is, I don't burn so quickly as I used to.
Hope this helps, best wishes.
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19/f; my best friend is 18/f.
We are in our first year of college, and we both work partime. We are in all the same classes together, which is how we became 'best friends'.
Well, one thing that really bugs me is we never talk about me. Aren't friends suppose to talk about their problems with one another?
She ONLY texts me or calls me when it has something to do with her ex, or the new dude she likes.
When I do have something to tell her, its only talked about for a couple of minutes, and she flips it about herself. NO LIE.
For example, my grandmother is in the hospital, her intestents were twisted together; and I was really upset about it. So I texted and told her and she said, AND I QUOTE.."oh that sucks; so guess who called me today?" and I said who? and she said something about her ex. I swear. 99.9% of the time its all about her, and the 1% if that, is about me.
Another thing is, she cannot take jokes! She can make them, but she cannot take them. Another example, in psychology class she said I was a big drug addict in front of a cop (which isn't true,) so I laughed, and I said "Your such an alcoholic" and she gets so mad and doesn't talk to me for the rest of class. This isn't the first time this has happened. She'll make a joke and when I come back with a joke- she always gets mad. She claims because shes sensitive. I told her after class that I'm tired of her always getting so upset when she makes a joke and I aim one back. It isn't fair becuse I always have to bite my tongue, and I shouldnt because she's my 'best friend'.
And the last thing, WE NEVER HANG OUT, outside of school. When she has free time- she's with other people, and never me. She onlys hangs with me, when she wants to study? But the thing is, we hardly study. She only talks about herself, her ex, or the new guy she likes. Its so annoying, but if I'm honest with her, she gets upset, and that is annoying as well.
So I end up going home, wasting 2 hours of my day with her for nothing, and re-studying. I end up making WAY better test grades than her, and when we compare grades after a test, she gets PISSED. So mad that she almost cries, and she told me today "Don't even talk to me; you make me sick"
Like really? Ugh. Sorry its so long, but i don't know what to do. Is she a true friend?? Should I just stop being friends with her? Should I talk to her, so she can just get upset? What do I do? (link)
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I think you need to back-off from each other; you both seem to be in such a state of confusion, neither of you are gaining from the relationship.
Isn't that what relationships are supposed to be about, both sides benefit?
Look around for other friends that aren't connected to her. She should soon get the message that her behaviour isn't acceptable.
Hope this helps, good luck. Let me know how you get on? Best wishes X.
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Well im 20 and have this phobia called venustrophobia or watever they call fear of women.im too damn scared to look at girls,even if i gather guts to look at them,the first thing they do adjust their shawl(a part of an indian attire which women wear with salwars) so that it covers their breast properely.Im not the ogling type,but when women do this i compare myself to a sex starved pervert(thats what women think of me,thats why they adjust their shawl).other than my mom,sis and female lecturers there s no women whom i talked to and certainly wont.is there a solution?????? (link)
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From what you've said in your question, I assume you and the women you mention are of Indian/Asian background.
I think they're just as scared of you as you are of them.
We live in a patriarchal society where most things are geared towards men. Indian women's lives especailly are controlled by their men, be it father, husband, brother, son whatever. For one of them to be judged as being indiscreet would probably result at least in disapproval.
Are there any groups/clubs you could join to meet other people of your own age? Try to find something that you're interested in, so you'll enjoy the group as well as the individuals there.
Go with an open mind and enjoy yourself.
When talking to strangers, try to relax, focus the talk more on them, ask questions about their life. Hopefully, you'll forget your fears and become absorbed in the conversation.
I really hope this helps, let me know how you get on? Best wishes X.
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What is the best way to deal with a bad roomate?
I'm a freshman in college, and my roommate is not the best. (that's the nicest way to put it). She's not a clean person, she leaves her trash everywhere as well as her dirty dishes. She's rude and inconsiderate of the fact that im in the room too. For example, if she has an early class one morning and I don't have one till 12, she'll get up and start making a lot of noise.Throwing things around, slamming books. She does the same when she comes in late from her partying and im sleep. She has also taken up most of the space in the room, which makes me crazy!
Finally, i share a bathroom with my roommate and two other girls, (its a suite-style dorm), and the bathroom is disgusting! The sink is full of God-knows-what, the shower floor is also very gross, as well as the toilet. Sometimes she invites people over. She also made a huge mess when I left for a few days and the restroom was disgusting, thet sink had hair all in it and the tub was dirty, sometimes she has clothes scattered all on the floor. I am at a huge disadvantage because I feel like I'm the only one who wants it clean.
-oh yeah, I'm not a very outspoken person. I'm shy and don't like confrontation. With that in mind please help! (link)
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I think you have two possible options.
The first involves a steep learning curve for you both I'm afraid. You could confront her about her behaviour, explain how uncomfortable it makes you feel, affects your work, social life, etc. She might not realise how irritating her attitude is. You're the best person to explain it to her, as you're the one most affected by it. It doesn't have to be nasty or argumentative, just firm and determined.
The other option is to tell whoever is in charge of your living conditions. You would have to take photographs of the mess and explain the difficulties you're having to get it sorted.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Best wishes X.
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I'll get right to the point. I can't stand living anymore. Everything about my life has turned to sh*t. All my friends ditched me fir no reason and now have a new group of friends who all hate me. They continuously talk about me behind my back, give me dirty looks in the hall, and cyberbully me.I can't walk past them without seeing them whispering, staring at me, and then a sudden burst of laughter. I have mo friends that are girls. I get called a slut for hanging out with guys so much. Every day for the past two months I cut myself. I became bulimic about two weeks ago. I've. Attempted suicide twice. The only thing standing in the way of me really trying hard to kill myself is my parents and my sister. No one knows about my bulimia. The only person who knows about my cutting is my old friends because I did it even before all this sh*t happened. I'm terrified that they are going to tell somebody. My grades mainly consist of b's and c's. The only time I feel ok is when I'm acting on stage, but I had to transfer out of my performing arts class because my old friends are in it and I couldn't take their constant dirty looks and whispering and laughing. I really don't think I have anything going for me. I hate my life so much. Does anyone have advice on what I can do, besides telling my parents or my councelor about my problems? (link)
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I think you really have to tell somebody. How bad would your family feel if you succeeded in killing yourself and your parents and sister were left, for the rest of their lives, wondering why you did it and if they could have helped.
You need to find someone you trust to tell this to, possibly not someone you already know; it's often easier telling difficult, emotional stuff like this to strangers. Whoever you choose to tell, get the information out there, somewhere.
You might feel a lot better afterwards, not enough to just carry on regardless but at least enough to take the edge off your desperation.
Is there anyone at school that you feel even slightly close to, a family member or friend, doctor, tracher, priest, taxi driver or postman, anyone who will listen.
Look for new friends outside school, try groups and clubs that have interests similar to you, whether its music, hobbies, faith or activities that you have in common. Could you offer to do dog-walking for neighbours? You can walk wherever you like and might meet other dog-walkers who usually like a chat. Are you interested in singing? Look around for a band or choir that's looking for new members, singing is good for helping you to forget your problems and gives you a buzz too. Look for other activities that will help you relax and focus on yourself a bit - treat yourself to some 'me-time'. You could ask your mother and sister along too, I'd imagine they've noticed that you aren't happy of late.
I c an feel your desperation in your question, but I don't think you really want to die; you couldn't have written such a letter if you did.
You've taken the first step towards sprting out your life already, by writing your question. You could try sitting down and making a list of things you'd like to try, however sild and wacky they sound, then see if any of those are possible. It'll give you something to look forward to and something to talk about to those people you're going to meet.
I really hope this helps, let me know how you get on? Bestest wishes X.
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Long story short- I did not do so well during my first semester in university, purely my own fault and I do not blame anyone or anything but myself.
However, now I have to deal with the consequences and work ultra hard until summer to make sure I pass everything and get a passing grade to finish this first year at university...
However, the more I think about what's happened, the more depressed I feel. I'm on the verge of having a break down, which I've already had before and I feel like I've really ruined my life for myself.
What would be the best way to progress from this depressing state? As I know I will manage to finish the year properly..but whenever I think about it I just want to burst into tears.
How to I get myself back on a more positive track? (link)
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Before you breakdown, take a look around you. You aren't the only one who's messed up in life - in fact, you're doing well if it's only the last year you have to worry about. You certainly haven't ruined your life,there's a lot left. you sound like a determined person and you have a lot to give, so spread that passion for administration and organisation around a bit!
I think the best way to try and sort this out is to ask for help, either from one of your tutors or an advice worker in the college, they've seen it all before and can advise you on the best way to move on. ANother idea might be to ask a former student of your course for advice, assuming you know someone.
Hope this helps, best of luck and I hope you're set to fly! Best wishes X.
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