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real best friend? am I over reacting? Ugh!
19/f; my best friend is 18/f.
We are in our first year of college, and we both work partime. We are in all the same classes together, which is how we became 'best friends'.
Well, one thing that really bugs me is we never talk about me. Aren't friends suppose to talk about their problems with one another?
She ONLY texts me or calls me when it has something to do with her ex, or the new dude she likes.
When I do have something to tell her, its only talked about for a couple of minutes, and she flips it about herself. NO LIE.
For example, my grandmother is in the hospital, her intestents were twisted together; and I was really upset about it. So I texted and told her and she said, AND I QUOTE.."oh that sucks; so guess who called me today?" and I said who? and she said something about her ex. I swear. 99.9% of the time its all about her, and the 1% if that, is about me.
Another thing is, she cannot take jokes! She can make them, but she cannot take them. Another example, in psychology class she said I was a big drug addict in front of a cop (which isn't true,) so I laughed, and I said "Your such an alcoholic" and she gets so mad and doesn't talk to me for the rest of class. This isn't the first time this has happened. She'll make a joke and when I come back with a joke- she always gets mad. She claims because shes sensitive. I told her after class that I'm tired of her always getting so upset when she makes a joke and I aim one back. It isn't fair becuse I always have to bite my tongue, and I shouldnt because she's my 'best friend'.
And the last thing, WE NEVER HANG OUT, outside of school. When she has free time- she's with other people, and never me. She onlys hangs with me, when she wants to study? But the thing is, we hardly study. She only talks about herself, her ex, or the new guy she likes. Its so annoying, but if I'm honest with her, she gets upset, and that is annoying as well.
So I end up going home, wasting 2 hours of my day with her for nothing, and re-studying. I end up making WAY better test grades than her, and when we compare grades after a test, she gets PISSED. So mad that she almost cries, and she told me today "Don't even talk to me; you make me sick"
Like really? Ugh. Sorry its so long, but i don't know what to do. Is she a true friend?? Should I just stop being friends with her? Should I talk to her, so she can just get upset? What do I do?
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I had a same situation. But not as bad. She gets annoying sometimes because she talks about one guy than the other. She takes me out of my sit at lunch(when its already hard to find a good sit)to talk about her bf and crush and stuff. or when i am monitoring. She wants to text when i am busy and stuff like that. But i don't hate her cause she listens to me too. She has more problems and adventure :D. I think you should tell her what you don't like her about her. Like what she does and wat annoys you. To be more fun. if that doesn't work try ignoring her. Don't answer her text messages and when you talk make up an excuse but don't do it everyday like once or twice and than longer. If you know what i mean. (sry if you can't understand.)I really hope this helps
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I think you need to back-off from each other; you both seem to be in such a state of confusion, neither of you are gaining from the relationship.
Isn't that what relationships are supposed to be about, both sides benefit?
Look around for other friends that aren't connected to her. She should soon get the message that her behaviour isn't acceptable.
Hope this helps, good luck. Let me know how you get on? Best wishes X.
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Get rid of her. This is a toxic friend who is using you for all her "me me me" stuff and you deserve better.
I had a friend like this up until last year, also my supposed "best" friend, but we only ever talked about her and her drama. I called time on our friendship and I haven't looked back - best decision ever!
Friendship is a 2-way street - you're doing all the giving and getting nothing back. Her reaction to your chat with her says it all. Find friends more worthy of your time. Good luck!
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