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Messing up my first semester and now dealing with the consequences.
Long story short- I did not do so well during my first semester in university, purely my own fault and I do not blame anyone or anything but myself.
However, now I have to deal with the consequences and work ultra hard until summer to make sure I pass everything and get a passing grade to finish this first year at university...
However, the more I think about what's happened, the more depressed I feel. I'm on the verge of having a break down, which I've already had before and I feel like I've really ruined my life for myself.
What would be the best way to progress from this depressing state? As I know I will manage to finish the year properly..but whenever I think about it I just want to burst into tears.
How to I get myself back on a more positive track?
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The thing you have to do is remind yourself of the GOOD things you've done.
Yes, you messed up. But that's over, and you set yourself straight and you're doing better now. Don't forget that!
What I do, which I don't know if you can or can't depending on your dorm, etc., is I write notes on my mirror to myself with dry erase markers; just positive reminders, inspirational quotes, stuff like that. It works for me.
Mostly you just have to be really conscious of your thoughts and when you have a negative thought, you have to push it from your mind OR say no and counter it with a positive thought, something you've done right or are working on.
Something else you can do is reach out to other people for help and guidance. It's not being weak at all to talk to other people about it. Most schools have free counseling options and that can be very helpful for many students, especially in situations like yours. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed or too proud; no one is going to judge you on it. Better yet, no one even has to know, especially if you do it on campus! More people go than you would think. I don't know what kind of person you are, though, because some people adamantly refuse and loathe the idea of counseling, so it may not be an option for you, I just know that it has helped me for so many problems in my life.
On a side note, I kind of messed up my whole college career (in my opinion). I'm currently a junior and I'm already at my fourth school, so it's been really hard bouncing all over the place, unable to get my footing and not getting into my major classes, so now I'm trying to play catch-up and it's really stressful. So I get upset with myself, too, for messing everything up right from the start. (It's a really long story, feel free to ask me if you want).
Just keep your head up! That semester is behind you, you can't change it and you just have to let it go.
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Before you breakdown, take a look around you. You aren't the only one who's messed up in life - in fact, you're doing well if it's only the last year you have to worry about. You certainly haven't ruined your life,there's a lot left. you sound like a determined person and you have a lot to give, so spread that passion for administration and organisation around a bit!
I think the best way to try and sort this out is to ask for help, either from one of your tutors or an advice worker in the college, they've seen it all before and can advise you on the best way to move on. ANother idea might be to ask a former student of your course for advice, assuming you know someone.
Hope this helps, best of luck and I hope you're set to fly! Best wishes X.
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