My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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hey guys this is kind of confusing so ill try to explain as good as i can:
I always feel like im hiding something and that people are always against me, and idk what this means because i dont have anything to hide..its almost like im paranoid...and i always think negatively...(Example:: if a friend MIGHT be able to come over, i automatically think they cant.. because its a MAYBE and not a yes..)
but like, i try to cover up ANYTHING i do, and idk why! the things i try to cover up arent even bad either. its almost like i want to shut my mom out of my personal life at all means. i have a feeling that nobody else feels like this because its so strange..so could anyone tell me what might be wrong with me?
ill rate you a 5 for good answers. thanks. (link)
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It's not unusual for a person to feel negative at times in their life. It is almost a protective thing against being hurt. If we anticipate the worst thing and it doesn't happen, then we can feel good about it. As for covering things up, I feel that again it is probably a protective response. If you don't let someone into your "space" they can't hurt you. I wouldn't worry about protecting yourself in such a way and it is certainly not a big deal. Embrace yourself as a worthy person. I wish you lots of luck.
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is fingering or sticking things up there bad for you? does it affect your health in any way at all? (link)
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No it is not bad for you, however, make sure that any fingers/objects are always scrupulously clean. Your health will only be affected if you introduce germs into your vagina. Should that occur you will need to see a professional to clear it up.
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i have had stomache aches and like my ribs ache for a few weeks now so i went to the doctor is just like "its physcosomatic" that means that you are like mentally saying to yourself that your stomache hurts or something but it really doesnt you are just thinking that. he said i am that but my stomache really does hurt (and ribs) not so badly, but like you can tell it hurts! what is causing me to feel like this??? (link)
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It would be a good idea to see another doctor to get a second opinion. Something as simple as clenching your muscles could cause discomfort, but then again it could be a whole multitude of things. Don't be fobbed off with "its psychosomatic" again - insist that someone takes you seriously. Best wishes.
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Ever since I was 14, I could read people's minds. It scared me at first, and it still sort of does because I don't know much about it.
Sometimes it happens randomly. I'll be thinking of something and suddenly I start to think something completely different that I can't control. This has happened with my siblings and parents before, and I've been able to tell them exactly what they were thinking/feeling.
My family is thinking about sending me to a doctor (I know this because they think about it alot). But there's nothing wrong with me.
Is this mind-reading thing normal? How do I tell my parents to not send me away? =( (link)
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It is perfectly normal to be able to read other peoples minds, especially within a close-knit family. It is a great gift but you should be a little wary of others who do not understand it. You don't say how old you are now but I am guessing mid to late teens. I doubt very much if your parents will send you away unless they become frightened of your ability. I suggest that whilst you are still young, you keep it to yourself. Can I also suggest that you keep a journal of anything significant but don't leave it lying around. As you get older you may want to consider furthering your abilities within a controlled setting. I wish you all the very best with your wonderful gift.
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Hey,
Ok so here is my story. So I talked to my mom about this guy I liked at school and if it would be ok for us to date. My mom said she would talk to my dad and she told me he seemed ok with it. So then the next weekend I asked my mom about me going to a movie with this guy and some friends(like a group date) and she talked to my dad and she said he said"I dont know i'll be more inclined to let her do this when she is 15" My mom said we should all sit down and have a talk. Well since then i havent brought it up again. So I need to know what to say to my dad when I ask him. Thanks -marsbars (link)
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The advice that I would give is to ask your parents to actually meet this guy. Ask your Mum if it would be okay for him to come over and ask your Dad if he can date you. It might seem old-fashioned but it might work. If he really wants to go out with you he won't mind. It is very difficult for some parents to let go of their children's childhood. Ask your parents to set a curfew time and stick to it. The more you follow their boundaries the more likely they will agree to you dating. Don't give up because you won't be young forever, there will come a time when you won't need their permission any more. Good luck and best wishes.
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i really cant stand my sister. like anytime she says anything, i like want to kill her. she gets on my last nerves, and its at the point that i cant even be in the same room. shes yougner than me, and thinks shes innocent, but she bugs the hell out of me, and i really cant take it. any suggestions to like get her less annoying (there is ab-suh-lutely NO way im going to a therapist) (link)
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What a conundrum sisters are. I have an older sister and a younger sister. When we were growing up I fought like mad with my older sister and ignored my younger sister. There will not be a family who doesn't identify in some way with rowing siblings. I absolutely hated my older sister and we spent as little time as possible together. Our parents weren't much help because we both got yelled at regardless of who was right and who was wrong. However, it seemed like the sun shined out of every orifice of our younger sister. When my older sister got married it was great - I no longer had to face her every day. Unfortunately, I still didn't have much to do with my younger sister. There is not a lot you can do about your sister except grin and bear a lot of what goes on. Remember this stage won't last forever and one day you will come to realise that having siblings is quite nice. Yes I do now get on with my sisters - my younger one a lot more than my older one. We can rely on each other to see us through a crisis and they will always come running in an emergency. I know that I have not given you any suggestions on how to cope with a very annoying younger sister but I hope that eventually you will realise that having someone who shared your childhood knows exactly what you went through and can support one another when life gets tough.
I can only think of one reply to anything annoying and that would be to say quietly "I love you too" or "I have enough love for both of us". It may sound stupid to begin with but perhaps she might eventually hear what you say. Don't get mad or even, stay calm and let it all pass. I wish you all the best.
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I am a female from Canada.
I am in a serious committed relationship with my bf and he does not know that I am bi-sexual. I have been considering telling him because of my re-occuring problems about fantasizing being in a relationship with a female.
I love my bf as well and we have a healthy relationship. I want to tell him because I don't feel right keeping secrets from him. We are very open to each other. Should I tell him? How should I put it so he won't feel threatened?
Advice please? (link)
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It would be impossible for anyone to know how he will react to hearing you are bi-sexual. Have you brought up the subject in any context? Maybe if you spoke about it in general terms and gauge how he reacts, you might be able to sense whether or not to go further and tell him about your sexuality. He could either be all for it, positively against or even have no thoughts on the matter at all. Only you will be able to sense where this kind of conversation will be able to go. Are you looking to introduce another female into the equation for a threesome, or do you want to go off with someone else altogether? How would you feel if he said that he fantasised about being with another man? Also, have you thought about the trust issue? Do you want an open relationship with your boyfriend? Would you mind if he saw another girl? There are so many questions that would need thrashing out before you could take your relationship to another level. I hope that I have helped in some way. Good luck.
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16/f
So, I work as a receptionist for a car dealership. Last week my own aunt, who's also my boss fired me. We havent been selling that many cars latley so she was already annoyed...but she saw me online and she was like "What are you doing?". I told her I was just playing around and she got mad at me. She said I had work to do, but I didn't...I checked everything and there was nothing to do. When I tried to explain that there was nothing else to do, she said I "was talking back". So she told my mom that she doesn't want me working anymore...so I cried. I just got fired from my first job! I get $8 a hour (Minimum here is 6.75), it's great pay and I barley do anything so the job is great. So she's my aunt, what do I do? I'm SO mad at her. Should I let it go and act like nothing happened? Should I be mad at her the rest of my life or ask for the job back? She is my aunt so maybe she'll let it go...?
(link)
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I think that you should have a meeting with your Aunt and explain that you are really sorry for wasting company time. Ask her if there is any way you could get back into her good books and find it within her let you have your job back. You were in the wrong and even though it may seem a little incident, it is her company, time and money. If she does not want to take the risk, then I am afraid you will have to bite the bullet, apologise again, ask her for a reference and seek out a new job. If it helps tell her you learnt your lesson and will not repeat it during working hours. I hope that all goes well with you.
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I have an odd obsession with languages. I get very excited about learning them but do you think it's a bad idea to learn more than one-two at a time?
I'm going to take German next year so I'm trying to remember the basics and such.
My boyfriend is taking Spanish and so I am also trying to learn some of that.
But before any of this... I was already studying Portuguese, Japanese, Chinese, Korean and Russian.
I love all languages.. But I'm pretty sure it's not good to learn all at the same time..
So which ones do you think is easier to learn and I should stick with for now? (link)
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It is of great benefit to be able to communicate in a wide range of languages even if it is only basic. I found that learning German was quite easy but I did it years ago and never had to use it. I also learnt French at school and I am able to make myself understood in France. You have a very special talent and you should exploit it to the maximum. I wish you the very best of luck for a very interesting future.
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I was invited to a large party that takes place this weekend. I said that I'd go, because of the occasion and the person who is throwing it, but I really do not want to stay for a long time. First of all, I am not much of a party person. I usually just sit there by myself while being bored out of my mind. Second of all, I'm not much of a people person. There are going to be a LOT of people there. I really don't want to have to be around that many people for too long, especially since I hate most of them. Normally I leave parties with the excuse of not feeling well or something like that, but certain people (although not everyone) are starting to catch on. I need some good excuses to leave a party that do not involve being sick. (link)
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It is not necessary for you to make up excuses for leaving the party early. In your position I would go and socialise for a while then gradually fade into the background and quietly leave. If you have no problems with getting home then I suggest you leave when you are ready. It is highly unlikely that most people would know that you have left but in the unlikely event that it did occur just tell them you are not sure what time you finally left, but had a great time. I wish you luck.
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hey
on monday i started packing my things for tuesday (for school)so i looked for a sports outfit for gym class. but mine was all swetty from last time and i forgot to wash it. so i looked in my moms closet...i opened a box and hoped she has something good to wear in there but instead i saw a fake penis..and a magazine with naked women and men in there. i was really shocked i mean i know that my parents are having sex sometimes but i never thought they take that so serious. and i feel really stupid in this house and i'm not talking to my mom anymore but it's really dump cause usually i could talk with her about everything but now i just dont trust her , cause she lies to me a lot lately! so what should i do?
i'll rate (link)
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I wouldn't be very pleased if I found one of my children going through my things regardless of how innocent the search was. It would also embarrass me to know that they had looked into my cupboards and drawers and found my things.
I don't think you should say anything about what you found because it really is none of your business. It may be that they were bought for a laugh or because your Dad had a problem for a while.
You don't have the right to judge your parents on their private life and you should not question her about it. As for trust, I think that you have broken hers at the moment. Trust is earned both ways and lying is never productive. Can you honestly say that you have not told a white lie or a fib occasionally?
You don't say how old you are so I am guessing that you are still quite young. In which case your Mum will have great difficulty in talking to you about this. If you really find it difficult to talk to your Mum generally, it might be a good idea to apologise for going through her things if she knows.
Finally, would you want to reveal details of your private life to your Mum?
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I was wondering if anyone can give me advice on activities to do with my 8 year old daughter this summer. All she seems interested in is watching TV or playing with her cousin, who is 10. We read together at night but usually she falls asleep right away. I've tried to get her interested in cooking, but I'm not much of a cook myself. Can anyone give me some ideas? (link)
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I have a 10 year old daughter and she loves to go swimming and walking along the beach. You can go to the library or museum, maybe have a picnic in the park or follow the course of a river. Maybe you could invent a new game or make up silly obstacle courses where you do different activites. Another alternative is to offer your services to an old peoples home in the form of befriending someone. Also, how about having several of her friends over for a sleepover and then suggest that her friends have a sleepover taking it in turns. I try and aim to do something different one day week like go to the pictures or bowling - have your daughter suggest something she would like to do. Perhaps you could both write ideas down on small pieces of paper, put them all folded into a bowl and pick one out when she gets bored. I hope that I have given you a few workable suggestions. Best of luck.
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I'm 20 years old,quite old enough for living alone,but i've got a big problem.My parents and especially my dad doesn't allow me to move to and began my new independent life.I feel like i'm in prison here.could anyone advise me what to do? (link)
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If you belong to a community that frowns upon females of any age living alone, then you may have a few problems. However, if I assume right, you are not of an ethnic background and do not have the moral constraints that they do. You are a young adult who appears to be quite capable of living her own life. He cannot stop you from leaving home so do some research into how you can leave home successfully. For instance, finding somewhere to live and knowing you can afford the rent. Let your parents know that you are just not merely walking out into the unknown, have somewhere to go to and a job with which you can support yourself. They may be fearful of the big, wide world out there and what it can do to you. Don't leave under a dark cloud and make sure you keep in touch with them. It can be just as frightening for them as it is for you. Ask for and listen to their advice but make it clear that you are going, with or without their blessing. I hope that it all goes well with you and I wish you lots of luck for the future.
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At the moment i just dont get on withh my parents at all, my mum in particuallar.
I used to think i didnt care, if we had an argument i would either lock myself in my room and play loud music or ignore them and not talk, as a sort of revenge type thing.
I thought i just wanted to get away from them. But now ive realised that i dont, that i want to be close to them, i want it to be like it used to be, when we got on well and had fun.
I cry sometimes because of this and its really getting me down.
Im 13/f.
How can i be closer to my parents and have a better relationship with them? (link)
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Start treating your parents like human beings. Be kind, polite and interested in them. They are probably sick of fighting as well and will be pleasantly surprised to find their daughter is human also. Treat them to a cup of tea or coffee occasionally and do household chores without a fuss and without being asked. Smile at them even if at first they look puzzled and confused. If you have siblings, be interested in their lives and actually have conversations. If you can afford it, buy the odd treat, for example a cake they might like.
You have started on the journey to adulthood and I wish you luck with everything you do. All the very best.
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hey my mom bought me this shirt b/c one time i said it was cute. i didn't want it or anything though. i'm never going to wear it so..how do i tell her i don't want it. it was a present on my birthday and she was like so happy with it. plz answer i need to know soon. (link)
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It's very disappointing to know a present that has been lovingly bought was not really wanted. Your Mum was only doing her best for you and I think under these circumstances I agree with the other advisers. Wear it around the house and when your Mum can see you wear it. You can always hide it under a hoodie or something like that if you need to go out in it. Once you have worn it a few times to please your Mum, wear it less often. At 14 you are still growing so it won't be long before you have outgrown it anyway. I have bought my daughter things that I did not know she hated and just to please me she has worn it (in silent suffering I might add and she eventually told me she didn't like it). As she has got older I have asked her to pick out presents she really wants and I don't buy her clothes unless she has stated exactly what colour, size etc. Perhaps you might sit down with your Mum and flick through a catalogue to point out your own style. Good luck.
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Ohhhhhhkay. So my boyfriend and I have been together for awhile - I'm 18/f, by the way - and in the beginning of our relationship, I thought his mom liked me.
I even heard her say she did once. But as we've been together longer, I've gotten to know her better and I don't really like her...I mean I do, but there are things she does and says that I really, really don't like. I think she's picked up on that, and she doesn't like me.
I don't know if that's WHY she doesn't like me, or if she's one of those "no one's good enough for my baby!" types of moms, but whatever the reason, I think she dislikes me. I've also been told she doesn't like any of his girlfriends.
His dad seemed to like me too, but I'm not sure about that, either, now.
I...guess I want to win them over, but I'm not sure how. I've never had the issue where a boyfriend's parents didn't like me. It's usually my parents that don't like my boyfriends, but they like him this time. Odd.
At first it didn't matter to me at all, because I wasn't really in this for something serious, but it kinda got serious, and now I care...which is kinda bad...help?
Good spelling and grammar please...! (link)
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It can be really difficult for a parent to let their children "go". Perhaps his mother feels that the longer you are together the more chance there is that he will want to eventually live with you or want to get married. My mother-in-law was fine about me at the beginning of our relationship but over the years she got more and more nasty to me. I think she felt I was taking away her son away from her and she didn't like it. I never stopped my husband or my children from seeing her but I still got bad feelings from her a lot of the time. I am now a mother myself with a son of 21 and I have always welcomed my sons girlfriends into our home. I may not have always liked them but I never made them feel uncomfortable. I still have my son at home with me and his regular girlfriend is really lovely. I know in my heart that the saying "a daughters a daughter the whole of her life, and a son is a son 'til he takes him a wife" is true but I hope that my son will always come back and see me when he has left home.
There is no quick or easy solution to this kind of problem and I never over the years found one either. You can only hope that by being generous and courteous to your boyfriends mum that she will eventually melt. Don't hold a grudge against her because that is non-productive and it will give off negative vibes. My husbands' mother has since died and there are a few regrets on my side but I can do nothing about it. I wish I could give you an easy answer but as I see the problem from both sides it is really very difficult to solve. I wish you and your boyfriend the very best and I sincerely hope you find some answers. Good luck.
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my boyfriend says he has 2 minutes before his dad throws him down a flight of stairs for getting bad grades and not finishing his work. is it a cry for help, is he being dramatic? what do i dooo oh please help!! (link)
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He may well be a bit dramatic but then again he could be fearful for his safety. Could you ask your parents to help? If he has been assaulted by his father he needs to seek help. He should ask someone he trusts - a teacher, uncle, mother- to go with him to the police or social services (depending on his age). There is not a lot you can do because it would not be safe for you to intervene. The only thing you can do is talk to your boyfriend and help him come up with a reasonable solution to this problem. In your position I would stay from his house and if you can invite him over to be with you to talk. I hope this helps in some way. Good luck.
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(17f)I have the option to move with my dad to a new house in a new town and i'm not sure what to do. I don't have any really good friends anymore. My best friend just moved away so i dont really have anyone here that i am going to miss. It would be great to meet new people and to make new friends. I'm nervous though because I would have to start at a completely different school. i won't know anyone there. What if I'm a loner the first few days and nobody worth liking doesnt like me.. (hope that doesnt sound rude)what do you think i should do?? (link)
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I know it would mean a big change in your life but I think that you should take the chance and go live with your Dad. Until you experience it you will not know what to expect. You may find that at the beginning that people are a bit wary but if you put a big smile on your face I am sure you will be fine. You may find that you have a better social life and better friends when you move. Take a deep breath and dive straight in. I wish you all the very best.
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Hello. I need some advice and knowledge here. I am worried and scared at the same time. I am 22 years old if this makes a difference. On the 11th of last month, I had intercourse for the first time. (long story about the condom) The following week I got my period. But it wasn't the full 7 days as I normally have. Anyway, all this week and all last week I have been sick. I have been nauseated, vomit every other day, tender breast, feeling lousy and tired all the time. Thirsty more than ever! I have been constipated, have ran a low grade fever for the last three nights. These last few days I have had light cramps like I am going to start my period but nothing ever comes. Today I noticed a vaginal discharge but it had a little blood in it. Not a whole lot. My Parents think that I may be pregnant. I don't feel pregnant. I was wondering if it was even possible to be pregnant if it has been a little over a month ago since I have had intercourse. I have taken a test, results were negative. I am supposed to start my period tomorrow. I don't know if I could be pregnant. It just don't seem to add up. Maybe it could be stress? My boyfriend and I broke up three weeks ago. Could it be an illness that I should be concerned about? I am worried and scared at the same time. Please don't say that my body is tricking me into thinking I am pregnant. I deny that I am, and I keep my mind off it, until my parents say something about it. I didn't even think of the possibility until my Mom pointed it out to me mid last week. I have already been having the symptoms of it before she pointed it out. Any advice or knowledge appreciated. Anything will help. Thanks in advance! (link)
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I have to say that it does sound like you could be expecting. You can have periods, albeit light, during a pregnancy and it is possible to have a couple of negative tests at the beginning of a pregnancy. The best thing would be to go and see a doctor and have them do a test. If you are not pregnant then you definitely need to see a doctor to have your symptoms diagnosed. Always have suspicious discharges looked at. I wish you the best of luck.
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I want to know if me and my ex arthur will be
together again.Will we? (link)
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In order for me to be able to answer your question I need to know a few more details please.
1. How old are you and Arthur?
2. How did you part?
3. How long were you together?
4. Have you parted before?
5. Do either of you have any emotional problems that would contribute to a parting of the ways?
Any information or history you can supply will give me the best possible chance of helping you.
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