about

Hi my name is Lee Ann. I am 29 years old and Graduated from Bethany college obtaining a bachelors of music. I am a happily married woman with two kids, ages3 and 2. I currently have six books out on the market, all of which can be found on amazon. The first is called The Leaf: One fallen heart and a burning desire, my second is called Avengement of Glory, my third is called Spiral of Enlightenment, fourth one is called Prodigy of the Immortal, fifth one is called Augment in the Realm of Darkness, and my sixth novel is called Bond in the Spiritual Heart. I started this advice column to see if I could give good advice. Turns out I am pretty good, better than I thought actually. I enjoy seeing people smile when I give them good advice and they use it. It makes me feel better as a person to help people. I want to make the world a better place and I think that starting an advice column is the right way to begin. Writing is a huge part of my life, without it, I wouldn't be able to function properly. After seven years, I think I have done pretty well as an advice columnist.

advice

Please only answer this question if you're not mean or a smart aleck, and you're mature. Thanks!

Anyway, I have a friend that I've known for many years. Her parents are going through a divorce. I know she's hurt, and I want to be there for her, but here's the catch.

I've noticed that we're growing apart. She hasn't talked to me for a long time, except for the few times we've talked on AIM, and I started all of those conversations. She hasn't tried talking to me at all, and we haven't talked about the situation, even though she knows that I know about it (She wasn't the one who told me about it). It's been weeks since I've been aware of this.

At first I wanted to give her time, which I have, since I haven't said anything to her about the situation. Now, I'm fed up.
I'm sick of us not talking. She has made no attempt to talk to me, even casually. Like I said, all AIM conversations were started by me. I want to help her, but I can't if she won't say anything to me about it. I just wouldn't feel right starting up a conversation about it because I'm unsure if she is ready to talk about it.

What also irritates me is the fact that we've been friends for so long, and yet she (like I've said) hasn't tried asking for my advice or anything. I feel like I'm not a good friend; like she doesn't feel that she can open up to me because she's embarrassed (or for whatever reason), even though I don't know if that's the case. What I'm saying is that she should know that she can come to me, talk to me and ask for advice, and not be embarrassed.

It makes me sad that I can't be there for my friend, and that she's not talking to me. What should I do? Please help. Thanks so much!

Its not you at all. My parents got divorced and all i felt was anger and i couldnt talk to anyone about it. I felt like i was the reason my parents were getting divorced. It may be the same with her. The only way she is going to talk to you is if you bring it. I know that it is really hard when your parents get divorced b/c you feel like you life is being ripped about apart. The only person th can really help her is her parents. Maybe if you tell you are sorry that she has to go through this and that you are here for anything. And telling her that it isnt her fault will help her pen up to you. It was so hard for me to tell my friends how i felt b/c i didnt want to take my anger out on them so i kept it inside. Getting over this doesnt take days or weeks it takes about 5 months up to a year to finally adjusting to the idea of divorce. just remember it isnt you.

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A friend of mine has a problem in her family and she needs to get out of her house yet she is still a minor , how should i help her or if she will get introuble with the polices.

I think that maybe taking her out for a day to the movies or maybe out to lunch to talk her about her problem. If her family is beating her or something then you should notify someone b/c if you dont she may not live through the next abuse. I am not sure what is happening exectly in her house. She cant move out b/c she is still at tha ge but knowing she could get out of her house when she turns 18 she might be able to hang on that long. A way you could help her is tellig her you are there for her and if she ever needs to talk she can talk to you. I dont really know how to help you b/c you didnt tell me the specific problem. sorry.

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This boy I like (ive gone out with him 3 times) came over like 2 days ago and we kissed alot and well he fingered me. Within these two days, he hasn't even called me. He always used to call me..almost everyday. I talked to him online but i dont know things dont feel the same. I don't think he knows I like him but I do A LOT. yeah, he's my first love...dead serious. I don't know what to do..what I'm supposed to say, or anything. I dont thinik he used me because we we're really close before all of this. He acts different around me than all the other girls..like fools around with me and hes like not wicked serious. hes really funny and fun to be around, but hes serious around other girls.So anyways, what am I supposed to do? What should I say to him? I don't wanna call him because I'm just scared to. I don't see him in school, because he doesn't go to the same school. What do i do?? I've been like sad and stuff for a while now :( thanks in advance..I just really need some help


-kate

I think that keeping your mind off of him is the best thing to do. Maybe something serious has happened in his house and he doesnt really want to talk about it. Tink of things that could have given him a reason to be sad enough not to want to talk to anyone. But the only way yu are going to find ot what is wrong with him is to call him or write a letter or doing something that involves talking to him. If you want to keep your mind off of him find something you enjoy doing and do that for awile or focus more ons chool rather than him.

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its a long story but my bf posted a question on here & i answered it & i found out it was his question, and it wasnt bad bad but it really upset me & ive been crying & i cant talk to him yet & i juss need help on what to do in the mean time, it should be an hr er so so if anyone can help me please i juss need something to do to keep my mind off of it.

thanks

I bet that would be horrible to see something like that. Talk to him when you are ready in the meantime to keep your mind off of him maybe you should play a sport or concentrate on something more than him. If you find something that you find passionate about like playing guitar and you continue to do it then you will be able to keep your mind off of him for awile.

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i'm a guy and was wondering something. as the question implys, i would like to know whether most people put feelings or morality first, and why. my example is pre-marital sex. there must be at least 20 questions on that topic before this one...some say 'do it if you feel ready' while others say 'no because you'll regret it and it's not meant to be that way'. both seem good reasons for or against it. is it both? should you really put your feelings and that of another first, or should you stick to your moral values, reguardless of what others or society has to say about pre-marital sex. thanks, will rate.

I think that in my opinion you should wait until you are married to do that sort of thing. If you have sex before you are married and break up with this guy and then you are with someone else and you decide to marry. I dont think it would be as special if you werent a virgin rather than a virgin. I think that you should feel you are ready before you do it. I believe they are equally the same both feelings ad morality.

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Im 15 female
A lot of my friends like to drink and smoke pot. I don't like it. I had my fun with that already, I smoked pot when i was in 6th grade and stoped when i saw my brother get locked up for it. Yeah and i had my experience with alcohol i drank and i puked my guts up and now i wont ever drink again. well at least not til im old enough. But anyway my friends are always drink like on the weekends and they always ask me to go but i just go to my boyfriends house and hang out and what not. I always find my self thinking that im better than that and i don't want to ruin my life with that stuff.
Is this normal because i always thought that teenagers will like to drink and get in trouble and just do bad stuff just to make a laugh? Am i abnormal?

You are normal for wanting to not drink and when you get ur license you can go with just be the driver and then you will have a specific reason for not drinking. I think that if you do things like that means you dont think you have anything else in life so most people drink and smoke to avoid things like that. You sound like you are sure of yourself and i dont think you should do those things if you know it is wrong.Alot of teenagers like to drink but you shouldnt just bc your friends do it.

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Ok, so I have a crush on this girl. Long time ago i fell in love and since then i wanted to talk to her. But she is always talking with other girls{wich is fine} and i hardly talk to her. Can anyone tell me how i can talk to her?
If it helps im 13/m and shes 11/f.
--caden--
PS: you can see a pic of me and the girl on my collumn.

Find something you have in common and ask her a question about it. Or you could just have one of her friends talk to you and you both go together and talk to her so it isnt as weird. Sometimes yu have to just talk to the person you like.

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what should i do? so here's my situation.. i like this guy named joe. he went out with one of my friends, i mean she's my friend but shes not like my best friend or anything. well they just broke up in septemberish, but they're still hecka close, they're still best friends. anyways, i always thought he was hecka sweet and cute but like i could never like him because he liked his girlfriend so much, but now that like they know they dont like eachother and hes single i can like him. anyways we hung out on friday we went to the mall with two of our friends, one a girl and one a boy, but he was being all flirty with me and stuff so i was just like okay but then like the more i talked to him and stuff the more i realize how perfect he is. then later we went to our other friends house and we were watching movies but we were hecka tired and he layed next to me so we were like spooning and he put his arm around me and fell asleep on me. he also always tells me how pretty i am and all this stuff. and like he goes out of his way to bring me into a conversation. i don't know what to do. do u think he likes me or what? and if he does should i even try to go out with him? i dont want to tlak to his ex girlfriend jsut yet. i'm not going to say anythign to anyone yet. i mean if i find out he likes me, then i'll do something, but i was jsut dwondering if he does what should i do? do you think my friend would be hurt even though they broke up mutually and they're still best friends? i dont know so my two questions are.. do you think he likes me? and if so, what should i do about it?
17/f by the way

Chances are if they broke up they are not going to get back toether because the rpoblems they had are still going to be there. I think he likes you alot and you should go for him if you like him to. Its ok i am sure she wont mind if you go out with him. Maybe if you found someone for her you wont have to worry about that problem.

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heya im angel_sarah23 u probably heard me tlking about my boy friend before well its ex boy friend since the 2nd of this month so 2 weeks on wed, well we broke up because hes a hindu (indian) and like his mum read an email from me and it was about explaining how much i love him and want to be with him, well anyways she read it and got in an argument with him over it and made him choose between her or me well he choose family obviously! but because nothing happened like an argument between me and him its like its not over and my head still says hes my boy friend i have cried over this every night and some how it doesnt add up and i cant get it into my head. we havent spoken probably since and its just hurting so badly! i dont know what to do anymore, ive been to the night doctor because i was crying so much it was making my mum upset and she wanted me to take a sedative as i have been known to cut myself and last christmas i tried to comit suacide! i dont think i can cope without him i havent for these two weeks how will it last forever my feelings for him havent changed at all and i miss being with him so much i love him x x

The best thing is not to give up. I know what is like to have to bite your tongue for a guys mother. She might not wanted you to be wth him b/c things were getting to serious or she didnt want to let him go. Sometimes parents wont let their kids go b/c that means that they really growing up. I think that nce she thinks about she will let im be in your life again but if not then maybe you should concentrate on something other than him. Find something you are really passionate about do that for awile. Doing this will keep your mind off of it. But if you dont want to let him go then talk t him ask if there is still a chance you guys can make it work.

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I went out with this guy two years back, but it didn't work out and we broke up. Last year we became really good friends again and I consider him my best guy friend. I've always had the thought of him as a bf in the back of my head pop up once and awhile but It'd always go away. Well, it popped up again and it isn't going away. I really like him, but I know he just thinks of me as a friend...which is what hurts so much. He's told me about another girl he likes (we play sports together and are friends) and he doesn't really know her that well. So basically I really like him but I don't want to screw up my chances of having a relationship with him because he likes another girl or whatever..Any advice? I'm 14/f

I think that he will get over that girl quickly. Maybe he feels the same way he is just afraid that if he says something it will cause weirdness between you b/c you are such good friends. Alos he might think since it didnt work out the first time that it wont work out this time. If you tell you may feel better at least getting it out will help you feel more relaxed and not so tense.

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This girl and I have been casually dating for a little more than a month. She's only 14 and I'm 17 but I genuinly like her. I'm not using her just to get some, I don't even want to do any more than kiss her. At the beginning of the relationship she told me she had only held hands with a guy before. I was skeptical but went with it. Now, she just told me she's had sex, but it was when she was only 9 years old. I'm not upset that she's not a virgin, I don't want her for that. I'm upset that she lied to me from day one. I'm not even mad, just really disappointed and very hurt. I've told her everything I've done with every girl I've dated. I live by the basic rules: Don't lie and don't cheat. She wants to go out with me know and I don't know if I can. I've been hurt before, and recently, and if she's lied once there's no saying she won't do it again right? I know it might sound like I'm overreacting but I really don't think I can take being hurt again. Please let me know what you think I should do.

You right there is a chance she will lie and there is a chance that she wont. But are you willing to take that chance. there may be a reason why she kept it form you. I am a girl and the way i see it is that she kept it from you b/c she was afraid that if you knew you wouldnt go out with her. I know you might probably would still have but at that moment she was thinking that. I think that if you really like her you would forgive her but if you want to be with someone who doesnt lie to you and is a great person then you shouldnt be with unless you really want to. Think about what you want. If you figuare that out then you should be able to solve anything.

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Hey guys,
I'm 15/f, and I really like this kid and he's 14. The only problem is that he lives in a different state! It pisses me off, because I like him so much and he already knows that because I've told him many times. He also has told me he likes me a lot. He wants to come and visit me sometime with his mom. I also talk to his mom, and she's very sweet. I've been talking to her son for a year now. I like him so much, and it's driving me crazy. I wanted to know if anyone here has ever really liked someone in another state, and has become really close with them. I really wish this kid could move here, and he always says how he wants to move here. I also wanna know if anyone has liked someone a whole not in another state, or even just far from them, and eventually the person moved closer to them, or in the same state? I know this is a stupid question, but I really like this kid. He is the sweetest kid I have ever talked to, and he has the nicest mom ever. Do you think there would ever be a chance for him to move here anytime soon, or when he gets older, or am I just being stupid? Someone please help me out! I'm going crazy here. We talk to each other everyday. I've never liked anyone this much. We have sent pictures to each other, and he's got the best personality. If anyone can, please help me out! I'd really appreciate it. Thank you so much! :-( Please don't say I'm stupid or anything, and don't tell me to get over him cuz that won't happen anytime soon.

I think that any relationship has a chance to work. And if you dont try and see you will never know. Do you want to wonder if it will work out or do you want to know that it will work out. Long distance relationships work out if you want them to and i think that you have a very good chance for this one to work out. I think that eventually when you are old enough it will work out and he will move closer or you will move closer. Either way it can work if you really like the guy.

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Male 13

This is kind of long so if you dont have time to read it it is okay

For the past 6 months i have been asking questions about my best friend and how i like her and what not.

Now a little backround info i have known HER for five years we are best friends. Now for the first three years i knew her i just couldnt be around her enough i had a major crush. Then i finally started letting go or hideing my feelings from myself. What ever it was it worked i really thought i was over her. But then about 6 months to a year ago i started liking her again.

i think this happend because she almost got a boy friend. so i have gotten through all the Drama over her so far her almost having a boy friend, her moving her being pushy ext...

But the thing with her her has always been she would say she didnt need a boyfriend and she would talk to me about all of this.

All of asudden she wants a boyfriend (which of course made me upset) But on top of that instead of talking to me about it she talks to this other girl she barley knows. i mean i could understand if she wanted to talk to a girl not a guy but shes never had trouble talking to me before.

the question is what should i do ( i know thats a pretty general question but i am having trouble finding the right words for my question)
I mean she tells me i can talk to her about anything but i have trouble talking to her about her.

SO bassically i just need advice for the whole situation

She may now have feelings for you. I had a friend who i could talk to about anything and then suddenly i started liking him without relizing i thought in my mind if i talk to him he would figuare out that i liked him. So i started talking to my friends that were girls b/c i didnt have to worry about it. I think she feels the same way you do she is afraid that if she says something she will lose the friendship that you already have. The best thing is to talk to her b/c if you dont she will end up with someone else and you wont be able to get it if you wait to long.

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I was searching through some xangas and I came across this girl that I'm not too fond of. I stopped to look at all the pictures she had thinking it might be pretty funny. I found multiple pictures of this girl, with my boyfriend on his bed. Nothing sexual, I think, but the fact I'M not even allowed in his room let alone his BED kinda ticked me off. Am I wrong to be upset that he had a girl that EVERYONE knows is basically a slut on his bed with him?

I think you have the right to mad. You are his girlfriend and your not allowed in his room that is offensive. You should tell and ask him why she is allowed in your room and your not. If she is trying to get you need to get her. He may try to deny it but you know you have hgim caught. Even though he might not have done anything that is still wrong and talking to him is the best way to go.

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So you have gone from one religion leading people astray and into hell to another one doing same thing ...wake up and except the Lord jesus into your heart and ask him alone in prayer to guide you ..you will be amazed at what he will do for you..

I have dont that but thatnks for caring and writing something like that. I have had a great life with him by my side.

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I am a 19 year old female who has dated a lot of immature 18-21 year olds. I joined an online dating site recently, just because I thought it would be fun. Well, now I seem to be drawing myself towards older men, such as 30 year olds. I suppose it's because of their maturity level, financial stability, and experience.

Would this be socially acceptable for me to have a relationship with a 30 year old, or a bit taboo? How would others perceive us? What should I consider before dating an older man? What sort of problems may we encounter in our relationship? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

My mom is like 40 and my dad is 50. So it would be acceptable for you to date someone that old at least you would be taken care of financially. Alot of people date older men if they are girls and if the guy is hott then you should go for him.

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My sister is my guardian and she told me last year that if my grades arent great then im going to a christian school..Now my grades havent been great and now i have to go but i realllllly dont want to.. so how can i convince her to let me stay in my school?.. this christian school is very small and has a really strict dress code! HELP ME!! ASAP!

Prove to her that you can do well in school. Negotiate with her. The best thing is to study real hard and try your best an then you wont have to go. Have her check your homework so she knows that your doing it and she can tell you if your doing anything wrong

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my mom's g/f is such a bitch she treats me like crap my mom belives her over me i'll take any thing

I kow its hard for a mom to believe their kid. Maybe if you prove what she is doing wrong your mother will then listen. If you prove it then your mom will feel bad about you telling her the whole time and she didnt even believe you. Or dont live with them. You should do whatever it takes to make yourself happy and if you dont then nothing will ever change.

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When my husband and I were first married, he promised me that if we ever had children, he would get out of the army. Two children later, he still hasn't gotten out.

The army has ended up being his life. He loves his job and has informed me that he is never getting out. He feels like his country needs him. I think this is very selfish of him to break his promise to me. The children barely know who their own father is. I feel like a single mother.

While he was in Iraq the second time, I wrote him a letter telling him I couldn't take it anymore and I was filing for divorce. I told him when he got back that I did not mean what I had said and that I was just going through a hard time with the pregnancy. Now three months after the birth of our second child, he is going back to Iraq.

I really do not want to leave this man. I love him dearly; he is my husband and the father of my children. My parents went through a divorce when I was a little girl, so I know how traumatic it is for a child.

It's hard for me to fight with him over this. The precious time he is here, I do not want to fight with him and bring up this issue. I want us to be happy with our time together and act like a family when he is here. I do not want him leaving to go to Iraq thinking that his wife might leave him. But sometimes, I feel like this relationship is just too difficult to take anymore.

What should I do? How do I cope with this?

I know what it is like to have someone in the army. My dad was in it. I felt like there was no relationship there like any normal family. He was always gone and we had to move alot. Its not easy to put up with something like that. If you are unhappy you should do what it takes to make yourself even if that means doing it yourself. I know that divorce is not a good solution especially if you love the man. The thing is i think our country got in this mess and b/c of the goverment so i think that the goverment should get themselves out by themselves. I dont think he means to hurt you. He loves you and his country. It must be very hard for him to leave his family. I know breaking a promise is a bad thing to. I mean he made that promise and broke. Did you ask your oldest what he thought even if their young they still can tell you how they feel. Maybe if your husband heard from his own kid then it will change his mind. ever give up and keep trying to convince him. You will succeed.

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I'm 17 years old and I weigh under 100 pounds. I don't have an eating disorder or anything like that. In fact I eat a lot, and I'm pretty healthy. I don't like feeling so skinny though and I want to know if anyone has the same problem and if you have any suggestions for me to gain some weight? I've always been so small and weighed so little and seriously, if I got to even just 100 pounds I would be so happy. Smallness is kind of genetic in my family but I want to gain! Help please.

The best way to gain weight is if you lift weights when you get muscles it makes you look heavy but in a healthy way.

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