Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29827
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What should I get her for Mother's Day? (link)
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If it\'s gotta be a present, you\'ll have to have a think and take a look at your mum. If she likes wearing jewellery, jewellery\'s good. Some very pretty women don\'t own any, some own some, but hardly ever wear what they have. In which case, jewellery isn\'t a great gift! Some love exotic fragrances from the design houses. If she does, one of those \'samplers\' with several small sprays from various designers might make a nice gift. If she\'s crazy about Chanel (say) and wears it all the time, make a note which particular one and get a bottle. Are there regularly cut flowers in her house, or never? That should answer whether flowers are a good idea, if she never acquires and arranges them herself I doubt she\'s the flowers-type. A big box of fancy chocs are lovely, unless she\'s fanatical about healthy food and never so much as buys a pack of chocolate biscuits for herself. A keen reader? Book token! Smart sports car owner? Get her some of that top quality polish the classic car collectors and show-types use to polish theirs? Really it\'s about looking close at someone and thinking \'what would you love, find useful or both, within my budget?\' People who get good at this get a reputation as great gift-choosers. It\'s not so much an art or a \'knack\'. More like the way a detective uses observation, enquiry and elimination until he\'s left with the prime suspect. Best wishes.
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I have chlymadia for over probably a week now... Can I still get pregnant? (link)
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Cetainly look at adviceman\'s links, please. If you DO mean is it a good idea to become pregnant while you have chlamydia NO it is NOT as it increases the possibility of complications. It\'s a fairly common, quite mild sexually transmitted infection. Lots of people have it (many completely unaware of it) and treatment isn\'t an unpleasent ordeal or difficult. So time for a visit to the doctor I think? And you\'ll be fine. And to confirm, having it will not keep you from getting pregnant right now (it\'s not a contraceptive!) and it won\'t affect your possibility of becoming pregnant if and when you want to in future if you get it treated. And having it untreated for a week (or more) hasn\'t hurt anything either. It\'s the complications that develop during pregnancy WITH untreated chlamydia that can mess up your future chances of having children, NOT the infection itself. OK?
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I mean is it all like "unholy"? I know that black magic is like witchcraft but whats white magic? Will it get you sent to hell? I have been thinking about this since I read "Jays Journal". Also are spells considered witchcraft? (link)
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Just thought I\'d mention that there\'s actually no evidence that ANY tangible, physical event, either good or bad has EVER resulted from anyone performing \'magic\'. I\'ve mentally \'cursed\' many people in MY life...didn\'t harm one of them one bit!
Maybe I\'m not using the right spell??? Choosing to believe in magic does NOT make you good or evil. Neither does believing in ghosts...or goblins, or Santa Claus either for that matter. It\'s \'all in your mind\' sweetheart, I promise you.
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So, I'm a 14 year old girl and I honestly can't cope with the way my parents tell me to live, I feel like I am trapped in my home and I can't do anything!
They have these rules that I cannot go on my iPad/phone until 8pm every night, even at weekends I'm not aloud to use them. They say I'm to antisocial and I need to get out more, I go almost everywhere with them! I do go to town with friends aswell. They won't let me out of my town, I live in Barnstaple, devon and I'm not even aloud to Exeter or Bristol to go on a shopping trip with friends which is only about 2 hours away. Also I'm not aloud to be friends with a few people I know, one of them because there is a rumour going around that her mum is a prostitute and the other one who is my best friend and I still hang out with her secretly because she said something rude on Facebook like 2 years ago! It annoys me how I can't be friends with who I want to be friends with. My parents won't let me go out after school and I always have to be back home at 4pm if I go anywhere, which means I can't go out in the evening or at night and have a laugh :(
They also won't let me use social networks other than Facebook and Twitter, I want to be able to use snapchat, Instagram and tumblr but I'm not aloud to have it on my phone, another thing is that my dad still reads my texts and my messages with friends online!!! I'm 14 and I literally have no privacy! It's really annoying I want to just tell him "no, I won't give you my phone" or just not tell him the lock to my phone but he always makes me! :(
This is really annoying me now how I feel like I am stuck with nothing to do and no privacy at all :(
Anyone know what I could do? (link)
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Hi there. I can see you\'re feeling more than a little over-controlled. You\'ve given me quite a bit of info and I believe I can see a little into the reasons why your parents are being rather over-protective by piecing it together. A lot of it involves social networking. Now there\'s a lot of media-fed paranoia among parents of young ladies regarding the internet. I\'d imagine your parents could easily believe that your trip to Bristol with friends is just a cover...you\'re actually going to meet some old perv who\'s beeing grooming you for sex via the internet for the last month or so. Do you see where I\'m going, and how they might be thinking? Because \'you hear about stuff like this all the time\' and they (naturally) would hate their daughter to be caught up in stuff like this. So, they want to monitor and censor your use of social networking, not let you wander too far from home and vet your friends for suitability. It\'s also true to say that the period from 13 to 16 is a notoriously \'difficult\' time for loving parents to have a daughter. And it is really through love they are acting, because love wants to protect the loved one. But that\'s not how you\'re seeing it, right? They\'re seeing \'have a laugh\' as \'get way out your depth and into big trouble\'. Now the internet did NOT invent this, parents have always had the same fears. The dangers have always been there. I think it\'s made the PERCEPTION of the danger greater, rathter than the ACTUAL danger if you see what I mean? Possibly this is something you could point out to them? Maybe point out that chatting about potential boyfriends for instance, was something girls did face-to-face. Not via Facebook. But it wasn\'t something they\'d really want mum listening in on either way. Try to show you are a good judge, know what is and isn\'t a good idea and show plenty of maturity of outlook when you get the chance. Show them your messages freely maybe? You\'re chatting with your mates about rock stars..celebs..sending a picture of a cool fashion oufit you snapped in a shop and want to buy...and so on. You don\'t actually WANT to send a sexually explicit photo of yourself to some internet paedophile or spread rumours about your mates mum! What you need to do in effect is to prove that the desire for a little privacy is a natural part of growing up (which you ARE) and NOT because you want to indulge in shady pratices with shady people and keep things from them. Try to show you appreciate their feelings and fears too, and show that you really only want to use your Facebook and Twitter etc like the vast majority of young ladies around your age do. Try to (what we call) \'negotiate terms\' which give you a little more freedom. That doesn\'t mean have a tantrum and sulk if they say \'no\'. It means you both give a little. And make it a progressive thing. Meaning re-negotiate later. If you\'ve used your freedom well for a month or so, you\'re in a good position to get yourslef a little more. If you\'ve abused it (and been totally \'found out\' in doing so)...you\'ll have to back down a little, but try to show you\'ve learned something from the experience. Best wishes, hope I haven\'t sent you to sleep with my (long!) reply! Have another chat if there\'s something here you think you can work with? C. xx
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Don't try changing my mind, I want to die and I will.
Everyone hates me, I get bullied at school cos of how I look, what I like, my stupidity... pretty much anything about me. Even my family hate me. There's nothing to live for.
I just wanna know if there are any quick and painless ways to die, just so I don't have to die a horrible slow death cos I'm just a pussy...
If I get any lectures about how "life is precious", or "don't die, you'll be missed", or "suicide is selfish", I wil ignore them and if I don't find any quick and painless ways to kill myself, I guess I'll just have to stop being a pussy and die the hard way. I won't feel the pain when I'm dead anyway I guess... (link)
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Hi there. Agree with Ninjaneer. Things will not always be the way they are now. You will not always feel the way you do now. You feel there are things you can\'t live with? Change them. You feel there are things you can\'t live without? Something or someone will fill the space if you let it. Maybe fill it better. You\'re in a mental \'rut\'. What you\'re looking at now is the edge of your rut, NOT the horizon. Forget \"don\'t die, you\'ll be missed\". Think how much YOU will miss. You know, sometimes life goes through great spells where we can\'t do a thing wrong and we feel almost charmed. We\'d like to keep those times forever, eh? But we can\'t. They pass. We can\'t keep the rough times forever either. They pass too. Trust me. \"Many a gambler\'s turned about, who might have won if he\'d stuck it out.\" Think about that. XX
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I am a 22 year old female and I just contracted genital herpes about 2 months ago. I am taking daily medication for it, and always use condoms, and would never have sex with any present sores. I read that with daily suppressive therapy and condom use, there is about a 1-2% chance of passing herpes from female to male, including shedding.
If it is that tiny of a risk that I would pass it to my current partner, what is the point of telling him I have it? Also, 80% of people who have herpes dont know they have it, and therefore are not taking any medication, making it a lot less risky to have sex with me than just some random girl, especially with such a low percentage of me passing it anyways. So, without lecturing me, please give me a legit reason why I should tell my partner?? If you were in my shoes, would you?
Thanks! (link)
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I\'d say it\'s a matter of good manners and good sense to tell him. By nature it\'s highly contagious and it\'s possible to keep giving it to one another repeatedly. I imagine you would not like him keeping similar details from you, roles reversed? It\'s quite difficult to justify NOT telling him. You could perhaps tell him you have a (non-specific) genital infection (like cystitis, or just say a \'womans problem\') and don\'t feel like sex for a while because it\'s painful etc. Perhaps the biggest worry about non-disclosure is that if or when it comes out it will be a big blow to his trust and confidence in you, which could easily carry over into many, or even every aspect of the relationship. Trust is extremely difficult (maybe impossible?) to rebuild when it\'s broken. And I don\'t believe any relationship is worth a damn without it. As you seem quite aware of, herpes is not uncommon. Uncomfortable, but not a massive issue by any means. So why give it a chance to indirectly mess up your relationship? Advice? Either confess the lot and get it over with. Or keep the precise details dark...but don\'t run ANY (even that 1-2 percent) risk of passing it to him and having a LOT of explaining to do.
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19 / f
So me and my bf are wanting to have sex. We've tried plenty of times using a condom but failed-both of us struggle to put it on.
So I suggested instead of using a condom to use other methods of birth control such as pills.
I live in the UK, and I wanted to know what options are available for me and how can I access pills? Or is the onky solution to visit a doctor? (link)
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I live in the UK too, and consultations with your gp are free on the nhs, so the no-brainer answer is go and see him/her and have a chat. They'll have access to your complete medical history and will be able to suggest THE most suitable method of contraception for YOU. He/she will NOT say go and buy condoms if you say you have problems using them and don't want to. You'll get all the dope on exactly how to employ your chosen method, any possible side-effects to be on the lookout for, the possibility of clashes with other medication...everything. Mistakes in contraception equal unwanted pregnancy. Which is a bad idea for everyone involved. I'd definitely avoid obtaining any form of contraception from any other source. Especially one that is willing to dish it out without knowing, or caring anything about you. You'll be down with your doctor as using 'such-and-such'. If for instance, some time in the future you're prescribed medication or treatment for some even minor health issue which may render it less effective, or non-effective...you'll be kept in the picture. Basically, visit the doc. It's a no-lose setup, and it's free.
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I had a dream about this boy I know that lives in my area. He's very nice polite and always comes up to greet me when he sees me however he's only 16 and Im 24 and I had a dream that I was in love with him. It freaks me out I feel like a pedophile what should I do?
(link)
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Don't think there's much danger of you being a potential predatory paedophile based on this. The subconscious mind (which is simply a 'lower' part of our brain which is not responsible for our deliberate, willed actions and does not 'talk to us directly' in the same thoughts/word pictures way as the conscious mind) does keep active, 'motoring away' as you might say during sleep. The subjects are not generally believed to be entirely 'random'. They are based on SOMETHING. But our minds do work by a process (unique to humans it is believed, no animal is known to be capable of it, and no computer has yet simulated it)called 'Random Association'. And it's partly why apes (our closest relative) still live up trees while we've been to the moon. Thus our dreams will usually contain 'scrambled' or 'coded' symbolism in their content, not direct and literal content. Dreams are also widely believed to act as a 'safety-valve' in which we confront situations (via coded scenaria) that we keep 'pushing down' because we don't want to deal with them right now. The subconscious keeps popping them back up in an attempt to force us to confront them (broadly speaking). Sorry this is getting to be a bit of a lecture!! At a guess? A bit of what psychologists term 'transference' or 'projection' might be driving this one. You have a partly-realised, and a slightly uncomfortable 'feeling' that this lad fancies YOU. Uncomfortable because of the age difference. If you 'loved him back' this would have hints of paedophilia (which we're rightly not comfortable with). ps. In most of Europe and certainly the UK where I live the age of sexual consent is 16. We're not exactly a backward, third-world country! So you're not having inappropriate sexual feelings towards a child. If I called a typical 16 y.o British lad a child he'd give me a right load of verbal abuse!
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So, me and my boyfriend get along really well, we've had our ups and downs but we've stayed together. I'm 14 and he is 16, is this bad? I've got a feeling it is, he's giving me hints that he wants sex with me and I know this from another question I've asked on here, I'm not going to have sex with him until I'm ready and it is legal but I'm just not sure if it's right...
I probably sound crazy. (link)
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Can't see any reson why a girl of fourteen shouldn't date a guy of sixteen. Girls do mature more quickly as a rule, and a 16 girl will be far less likely to find a 14 guy very desirable in most cases. You're both at the age where sex is going to be prominent in your minds. You seem to have decided to wait until YOU feel ready...very sound idea. He probably WILL be more eager and have less reservations about it. Usually the way. Sure, some will say all guys are 'only after one thing' and sometimes they're right. If he gets too pushy, too often, and then moody and difficult when you say 'Not yet' you're one of the 'sometimes they're right' so dump him and don't look back. It's your body, not his amusement park. And try to ignore the 'peer-group' pressure to join the "I'm having sex" club as you might call it. Be individual. It's your choice who you have sex with, why and when...and quite frankly none of their business really, is it? Will giving in and having sex keep a boyfriend, win his respect and guarantee a lasting relationship? Trust me...the answer's NO!!
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My recent mother passed on… I'm still getting over it, but it seems like my dad doesn't care! Now he's getting married again. Some woman who I don't and never will like. She's trying to be nice but I'm not buying it. I wanna sabotage the relationship. How should I? (link)
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Hi there. Thanks for your question. Could I ask that you open your mind and think about my reply for a few minutes? It does not have to be a 'once and for all' and can't even approach being so in your case. Feel free to get back to me if you wish...there's some deep and complex emotions in you I think? OK. While a person may have more than one significant relationship, may marry more than once, indeed have more than one 'family' it is certainly a fact that all of us will have only one biological mother. The relationship is exclusive and entirely unique. Your mother is in every meaningful sense of the word, irreplaceable. This special relationship has, for you so sadly been cut short, and you no doubt also feel 'cheated out of' the way it would and should have progressed in the future? You have without a doubt had to handle one of the most emotionally traumatic experiences we CAN be asked to handle. And now, adding insult to injury...your father seems to be presenting you with what seems to you a 'replacement mum'. And you feel this is such a gross insult to her memory, so unfiathful, unforgiveable. The whole situation (the loss, the new scenario) is totally unfair, completely undeserved. It's lousy...horrible...it's hurting you and it's burning you? And it will. And you feel it's it's too soon? I understand fully that you feel resentment and anger towards your fathers new partner, and towards him. You say she is trying. But you do not understand how he is able to do it? He doesn't seem to 'care'. Not the way you do. I doubt this is the whole story. He will have felt deeply, fought his own demons. He has faced a unique loss. The loss of the woman he chose, the mother of his daughter. There are many factors which could be in play here that we might talk about, where the instant response and feedback of a face-to-face conversation with you would be invaluable. We haven't got that, but please...give me some feedback via the inbox if you feel that it will help. Perhaps finding a woman who cared and was there for him at such a hard time was his light, something he feels he must hold on to? Possibly her 'trying' to be there for you too is a good indication of her nature? Is your father the sort that you think would 'cope with' a solitary life...or would he cave-in a bit...and not be enough for you on his own? Parental love often involves putting children first. Possibly he feels that you (and he) deserve that 'proper' family unit of two 'parents' to care for you...and feels that he's trying to provide that. To keep some stability? It is possible, and highly likely that he loves her very much, and values what she stands for. And regarding your mother...well...steadfastly clinging to the way things were will not unfortunately bring her back. That is beyond all possibility. Perhaps there were dynamics and conversations within the realtionship, some of which you were party to, some maybe not. Was she the sort of woman who would want you both to try their best to find happiness if she could not be there? Do you feel she would want you to be unhappy? I feel sure no mother would wish to see her daughters life permanently emotionally ruined, or would want to see the man she loved broken and without a woman who cared for him. Love (real love at least) just doesn't work like that. It's about wanting the best for the loved one, wanting them to be happy. And acting to secure it with all your ability. I would ask that you try to let go of thoughts of sabotage, of driving them apart. Right now you feel you will never 'get on'. Does she really stand for everything you hate, are there really irreconciable differences? Or is it that deep hurt and anger talking in you? She'll never be your mum. She'll never replace her. Nobody will. But is there a possibilty that she'd be a loyal and loving partner to your father? Make him want to live on, make plans and look forward again? Be the 'other half' of the family unit he wanted,in as much as she can? Could she be a woman you actually find you have things in common with...could become a good friend and support to you? You've faced so much hurt. And hurt puts up our defences, builds a wall around us. Makes us shy of trying to pick up up the pieces and try again. Perhaps your father is not careless, but trying. Perhaps you might find it in your heart to try. Wouldn't that be a more fitting epitaph and a tribute to your mother than hatred and sabotage? Wouldn't that prove she'd had a daughter she'd be proud of if things had been different? I have no spiritual or religious conviction. I do not believe that loved ones watch us, or that we'll meet again in some afterlife. But I do believe that those we have lost 'live on' in us. Others who knew them see them in OUR actions. The values, character and ideology they formed and reinforced in us become OUR values, character and ideology. I never intended to give you a list of possible ways to sabotage your fathers relationship. I hope to qualify, but do not apologise for the omission. If you want to talk further about anything in my reply, get in touch. My best wishes. Chris. X
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I work with this man at my job and I like him. I'm trying to be as breif as possible. I work in an office, and the man I met is really sweet and gentle. He took me to dinner once, to talk about a project, but he has a girl friend. She's really clingy and catty and jealous. He's thinking about dumping her, but I'm still not sure if we should go out, and will it affect my work? (link)
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Hi there. Thanks for your question. No need to be brief, and if there's anything you want to add that might influence your choice, feel free to get in touch again and we'll talk about it. At present I'd say there is nothing particularly wrong in a relationship with someone you work with. If he is your superior, there may be the odd rumour that he's favouring you unfairly
at times because of the relationship. But office gossip is inevitable, and usually has a short shelf-life. Unless he blatantly and visibly IS. This is more rare. Over-promoting an unsuitable candidate for instance, is damaging to the company. Anyone in a position of authority will know this and will not do it. Your worry is not irrational...just agree to take a bit of care and
have a discrete 'office life' when you're at work. Needless to say, colleague or boss, you do not let personal issues impact on your ability to do your job. Equally, all companies have a human side, and personal issues can and do affect our working lives, regardless of whether those involved work together or not. The usual chat with a line-manager and a word to HR to keep them informed would still apply. It's a horrible term (I think) but you are a HUMAN Resource...successful companies realise this and act accordingly. So I do not subscribe to the idea that you should never date someone you work with. My only conviction is 'never say never'...about anything! Lots of happy couples met at work, we spend huge amounts of our time there, after all. By far the bigger worry is that he is actually NOT thinking of dumping his
'catty and jealous' girlfriend at all. I would definitely suggest you wait until he HAS, and shown you beyond all doubt that he has. And keep things 'good friends' for a while, no more. If an impromptu 'Let's have dinner tonight' from you is turned down for a reason he seems reluctant to disclose...this should set the alarm bells ringing. See how the suggestion of a whole
day out at a weekend is greeted. Try "I'll come and meet you at yours early, I'll leave my car and we'll go in yours" or some similar scheme. use you imagination and feminine guile! Basically, how about a month or so of meetings and activities which he can't possibly keep from the prying eyes of catty, jealous girlfriend? You like him, that's obvious. You don't call a guy
sweet and gentle if you don't. And you consider yourself a better option for him than Miss Clingy & Jealous. You want him to be your boyfriend. All in. DO NOT let yourself become a 'bit of fun', some casual amusement for him at work, and nothing more. You wouldn't be the first or last to find herself in just this position. And afterwards, When YOU are the one dumped, working
with him will almost certainly become very uncomfortable indeed. If it's a genuine attempt that you both agree after a while just 'doesn't work out' it's a different matter of course. You should find working together quite quickly returns to normal. And if you do totally click and commit to each other, working with (and even technically working 'for') a guy who is your
partner is perfectly sustainable and manageable. If it's 'for' you might expect a few perks and priveleges but don't let them be too much 'in the faces' of colleagues...be discrete! Good luck...hope he's the one, eh? And however sweet-natured he is, he has to be firm end things with his present girlfriend FIRST. Put your feelers out, try a little (sublte!) flirting to signal
your intent by all means. But don't just dive in based on him 'thinking of dumping her'. It's asking to be hurt neraly every time. He's got to
do better than that to win YOU!! Having two girlfriends 'on the go' and waiting to choose the best one (which in effect is what he would be doing) is NOT sweet at all. It's unacceptable and selfish in my opinion. And we'll have another chat if you fancy it? CJB. X
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I was a child of the '60s and raised in the Catholic Church and am a practising Catholic today. As a young person I struggled a great deal with the Church's position on Sexuality and Masturbation and according to the teachings of that era, committed Mortal sins on a daily basis. I would like to see opinions, comments, and advice from others who have lived through the same circumstances, how you dealt with it, and how you deal with it now. It seams the urge never fully goes away. If there are any Catholic Priests out there, I'd love to hear from you too! I have never fully understood the Church's position on human sexuality. (link)
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I can't claim any similar personal experience, but I can add a little 'background' and hope it helps. It's not unusual to find religious belief systems taking a moral objection to masturbation. And they had a powerful ally in a medical theory that existed from around 1900 to 1930ish. It was thought that semen was a bodily fluid essential to the wellbeing of the body and particularly for the correct functioning of the brain. And so if a guy was to let this precious fluid leak away needlessly and copiously by masturbating...then he'd certainly end up a physically wasted gibbering lunatic!! Needless to say this idea is long discredited and entirley disproven. The incorrect 'fact' was widely misunderstood by the public at large (as they so often are), hence in their eyes, masturbating, for guys (and girls, somehow) was a dangerous thing, to be discouraged. The religious authorities were right all along, now science has proved it! The notion was still prevalent by the 1960's in the minds of many. The myth was perpetuated (again, as they so often are). We know now it is harmless, physically and mentally. Whatever your sex or age. I despair a bit when a young girl or guy writes to this forum wracked with fear that they are mastubating, and it's wrong...a sin...it's evil...it'll damage them physically or mentally. I'm thinking "Jeez..it's 2014...how's this idea still out there???" But if a girl for instance, starts "I enjoy masturbating...is there some way to make it feel even better..." etc then one sees a young person informed and in touch with their own body and their repsonses...and not having irrational guilt piled up on them via 'misinformation' and/or draconian religious doctrine. And a bloody good thing too. There is no more negative emotion than misplaced guilt. It achieves absolutely nothing of any merit in a person. If one wishes to object to masturbation on relgious grounds, that is their choice and right as a human. But backing it up with obsolete scientific/medical 'facts' is devious and morally/ethically wrong in my opinion. Good luck in your search.
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Hello! So I was texting my boyfriend last night. and we've been experimenting with touching (nothing serious) and he said that one time I moaned slightly. I was kind of embarrassed. But I'm curious, what does moaning sound like? (link)
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Hi. I can remember the same worry I when was younger, and do you know, one sometimes accidentally overhears a conversation between younger ladies (I might be having a cup of tea in a cafe, standing in a shop queue) which follow a similar line. Namely that it's not 'the right thing to do' to moan, or make any sort of noises of pleasure/satisfaction when indulging in a little love-play (or having sex, where applicable) with their boyfriends. And of course, it's simply not permitted for a girl to actually talk to her partner during sex...good God no!! One even finds the idea behind it might be that it suggests she is actually enjoying sex, and therefore might appear, or come across as 'slutty'. There's a big element of self-confidence, and (I see you're 14) by the time you're 20 I guarantee you'll overhear the same anxieties, have a bit of a smile to yourself and think 'I was just like that.' I guess what I'm trying to say is the awkwardness/embarrassment is a passing thing so don't get hung-up about it. If you feel like a bit of a moan, go for it. And if he does something that feels nice, telling him
"Mmmm...that feels nice" isn't breaking the 'rules'. I'd take a guess most younger guys quite enjoy hearing their girlfriends expressing a little pleasure. I'm not suggesting you put on or try copy the totally over-the-top (and fake) vocal performance one encounters in adult/porn video of course...that would be going rather too far, don't you think?? You're ok, stop worrying. X
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When I masturbate, I only use my clit, because its the only way I know of. Is there something better than just the clit? (link)
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Biologically speaking your clitoris is the most sensitive part and most likely to give you maximum pleasure, and make you orgasm (climax, cum etc...whatever term you prefer). The whole area is sensitive of course, and you don't have to work directly on your clitoris. In fact it can become a little TOO sensitive if you stimulate it for quite a long time. Hard to explain 'too sensitive' precisely, but you might have experienced the sensation when you've enjoyed quite an extended session pleasuring yourself? Probably the best advice is to mix things up a bit as it were, keep things varied. Depending on how you feel at any particular time you pleasure yourself. You might want a fairly short, intense sort of pleasure and relief, or another time you might want to relax and take your time, letting things really build up slowly. In which case, for example you might enjoy lots of less direct stimulation, and then move on to stimulating your clitoris more directly to 'finish off' as it were. A case of what works for you, as and when you fancy it I'd say? Kind of like the way a golfer has a variety of clubs in his bag. You wouldn't expect to play the whole course with just one club would you? Best wishes...and have fun.
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I know this may sound like a dumb question but I have dark reddish brown hair and really fair skin (like the skin of most redheads) it has pink undertones and it's freckled. Most brunettes I know even if lighter skinned aren't as light skinned as myself...? (link)
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Hi there. we talk about white-skinned people, but the number of variations in natural skin-tone among 'white-skinned people' is absolutely immense. There's no hard-and-fast rule, but your reddish natural hair tint will tend to go hand-in-hand with pinkish undertones and some freckling. If you mean 'why' are you more like a typical redhead, it's impossible to say. You are in many ways, unique. You're YOU. We maybe think of the Scandanavians as pure, almost white-blonde and pale skinned...Italians as dark haired, dark-eyed and with olive skins which tan quickly...and so on. But not all Norwegians or swedes and Italians fit the stereotype. Also, of course some of the reddish brunettes you might compare yourself to could be using cosmetics (foudation etc). I've shot a lot of photo's over the years. Under studio flash you can eliminate daylight colour variations, 'soft' house-lighting bulbs etc. But you won't find a 'standard' skin colour/lightness. Never two alike, pre-makeup. And make-up often plays a key role. You could of course subtly alter your skin tone. We look primarily at peoples faces, so having a darker face when you fancy it (to suit your outfit or night out etc.) will tend to make you seem darker-skinned all over. Not suggesting you make yourself bright orange with buckets full of spray-tan or anything!! But women can subtly alter their appearance when it suits them. I'm pretty confident that soaking-up the sun will just make your burn, be red for a bit and then fade back to natural (all to do with pigments and stuff). There's still a bit of a tendency to feel that bronzed and golden skin-tone holds all the cards when it comes to being 'beautiful'. All I can say is a fair skinned woman with a few freckles can be a very beautiful sight indeed! Fads and fashions come into play too. Not long ago an English woman would always shade her face from bright sun, never 'sunbathe' and be very keen on keeping her beautiful pale complexion just the way it was made. A sun-tan was NOT considered desirable in a woman. So look lovely as you are, and use the woman's art of cosmetics when you want to look a bit different. As for why...well I'm six feet and one inch tall. I could have been five feet and seven inches tall. Not sure anybody could say precisely why I'm the former and not the latter! Best wishes, it's not a dumb question at all. And of course it's much easier to add a bit of natural-looking colour to a light skin than it is to lighten a darker skin, eh??
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It's a silly fear I'm embarrassed to admit… I'm afraid of demons and evil spirits. It's really embarising,I practice white magic and am an altar server! But they haunt my worst nightmares and cause me panic attacks. I'd say what I'm afraid of is being hurt by them. I know God is much more powerful, but for some reason I'm still scared. I really feel I need to get rid of this, or it'll rule my life, it's the fear that makes me bite my nails, and I have a crucifix over my bed, pray the rosary when I get demon dreams. They all lead to nothing. I must eliminate this. How can I overcome this fear without telling anyone? Please, I'm ashamed of it. I once tried to hint it to my mom, and she laughed telling me it was silly. (link)
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Hi there. I'm afraid 99 out of 100 people you ask for help with this phobia will tell you to stop being silly. Quite simply demons and witchcraft, voodoo, call it what you like, is not real. I'm sure in your heart of hearts you know it isn't real? Just imagine, if one single person had any true contact with such forces they would become the most powerful individual on earth. Imagine putting some sort of spell on world leaders like Putin, Obama and their like. Imagine cursing people, gaining immortality. Conjuring up devils and demons to do your bidding and impose your will. But if you constantly dwell on the subject and surround yourself with all the trappings you will end up with disturbing dreams, and a fear of having them. Think it's time to take a good look at the world around you as it really is. And accept that dark and malicious forces, and forces for good are the results of the will and actions of us mortal humans. Not demons, witches and white witches. Maybe take an academic interest in the occult, the idea has fascinated man through the ages. Maybe you'll write a good book and it'll make a movie? J K Rowling did with her Harry Potter books, she's a multi-millionaire now. But don't upset yourself over it. It's just like your dreams. Exists only in our minds and imagination. I promise you. X
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*I apologize in advance for the long explanation and thank you for reading it.* Of course I'm a born again Christian, but I feel Like God hates me. Anybody may ask.
I was born into a loving family which only lasted for two years. It quickly turned into a disaster where one parent (a) abused the other (b). B refused to beat a. I always had to take my brother and hide.
At nine my grandparent died and the day before Christmas my uncle died. At ten my parents got a divorce and my sibling (c) went crazy, but I'd learned at this age to keep my feelings bottled in. At twelve, c got taken away and do I got another one (d) at thirteen.
I turned to friends online at fourteen but parent b didn't like it. By this point I've learned their bipolar. I thought I lost the doll my grandparent gave me (I kept it even though I got it at 4 because it was all I had to remember them by) but parent b threw it away when I was asleep because it was torn up and was on it's last legs.
At fifteen parent b got married and we moved in with my stepparent. Kids picked on me and called me ugly. I did things I'm not proud of to parent b, but I repented and apologize 100 times from the bottom of my heart, but they keep bringing it up even though they pulled my hair, called me ugly, and said I would never be able to keep a guy. I went into a group home to get away from them. At sixteen I came back.
I met boyfriend #3. Parent be kept saying he wouldn't last. It's the last thing you want a parent to say. Turns out he had a bf still and I was like his mistress.
At seventeen I moved in with my aunt because I couldn't take bipolar parent anymore. It only lasted two months. At eighteen. I moved in with parent a. That stepparent hated me too. Lied on me in many ways. I moved out.
Boyfriend #4 took my virginity without permission (we were foreplaying. Please don't call me stupid. I didn't know. Really.)
Etc.
I'm hoping even though parent b still hates me and parent a wants nothing wants nothing to do with me with all the bad past and all that boyfriend #5 will be a turn around for me, but because of my bad past and low self esteem (thanks parent b), etc., that this is my time to shine, but every time I think about it I believe God hates me. Please give me a reason why or why not he may hate me. Thanks. Sorry for the long explanation. (link)
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I believe that if you accept Christianity, one of the most basic ideas is that God does not hate or punish anybody. Nobody obtains redemption through their own acts, only through the grace of Christ (who acted as a mediator and died for our sins, that any who accept Christ have eternal life). As far as I can see (I have no religious conviction at all myself, so I'm completely unbiased) the idea of it being God who is punishing you is contrary to the whole doctrine of Christianity itself. I think you have to ask for Gods help to get you through these unhappy events rather than suspect him of causing them and blaming him for them? Acting positively and trying to direct your life in more favourable directions is a good idea too. None of us can choose what happens to us all the time, as contributing factors may be outside our sphere of influence and/or control. But how you react to these events and handle them is, and will always be YOUR CHOICE. Why not try a mixture of religious faith and positive self-determination? And see if things start to turn in your favour? Best wishes.
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I'm sorry, shallow jerk who thinks she's better than everyone else because pathetic losers worship her,I don't need to have the “queen b" notice,I only put the B, standing for something, say I'm cool, and have approval by others. I prefer my 5-8 real friends, than 45-69 friends who really don't like me. I read the blurb for a middle school guide, just for some help, but found out it was just about how to be popular. Please, people, what is the point? What is your deal? I'm not saying that if a popular girl who seems nice offers to sit with me at lunch, I'll say no, in fact, I'll say yes. But why try so hard with bitches who don't want you? (link)
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From your note I'd say you've got the big picture of true social interaction pretty well spot on. But maybe a little earlier than many manage to grasp it. 'What use is it to dine with crowds if we have not true friends?' as someone (can't remeber who!) aptly put it. Put the desire to be liked by everyone, and collect 'friends' as one might collect stamps down to peer-group pressure. When it persists strongly well into adult life it normally betrays a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. Maybe have a think about those people who seem to need to be "everyone's mate" and build their personality on that. Do you not see some lack of personal identity in them, behind the facade? I don't think you lack confidence or self-esteem. I reckon you've got enough and some to spare! You're doing OK. Play the game a bit though, to keep things sweet. Don't deliberately alienate yourself by being the one with enough self-confidence and independence to 'not give a damn what the rest think'. Don't distance yourself too much from the social group. We all somtimes have to put on a bit of an act, all our lives. You won't get obsessed with it, become neurotic, cry and get depressed if 'so-and-so doesn't seem to like me...what's wrong with me?'....amd so on. You're in a strong position I think? Have a think about how social media sites like facebook caught on and rose to it's remarkable popularity. You can collect friends and win their approval without even leaving your armchair! Think too about the way some users 'cyber-life' (personality, views, activities etc) seems unrecognisable from their physical world presence and persona. Makes you think a bit, eh??
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So a little background on me: im the only one in my house hold who owns a gun, i cant stand my moms boy freind and cant wait till im 18 to get away from him.
My dream was were i was with my moms boyfriend alone in my house and something happend to where he went to my room and for some reason there was a handgun beside me. so i grabed it and went to my room and he had my 12 guage so i shot him in the arm with the handgun ive never seen in my life. so then i retreived my shotgun from him. i then tried to shoot him with it but it like misfired or the shell was bad or something so he started laughing and i hit him with the butt of my gun. Can anyone explain what this dream means. Oh also him and my mom have been fighting recently but i didnt know that till after i had this dream. Thanks for your help.
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Repressed anger and resentment towards mothers partner. Desire to remove him from the scene, rather than you leaving, despite stating you want to get away yourself. Coveniently appearing gun representing the wish for a convenient means to remove him appearing/becoming available to you. I should say that the wounding not killing, and misfiring stem from a mindset and opinion that you own your weapons for protection and self-defence rather than offensive purposes. You don't consider them a means to impose your will on others or punish them. Unrecognised gun (not your own gun) is a desire to isolate yourself from the act of removing him and not be held responsible for it. Not killing him probably also indicates you hold human life in high esteem. (ps...the idea that you never die yourself in a dream or kill anyone is a myth. You can literally dream anything at all). Fair snapshot of you and how you feel at the moment...or way off the mark? Hope it sheds some light whatever. Best wishes.
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The Europeans hate them, Romans, Germans, Chinese, Indians. Hitler and the Nazi especially. I mean,WTF? I read number the stars, and was shocked at the Nazi. But that's nothing compared to the Diary of Ann Frank! What did the Jews ever do? Why are they hated so badly and horribly for there religion? I know they don't believe in God, but is that a reason to go all psycho-crazy-harm-kill-restrict-and-make-the-Jews-suffer? I'd like to know why people are racist in general. I live in a country with no segregation, but some people are really nasty in those areas. Like a boy called a girl from a south America a “dumb immigrant" and I know some children who say they'll only marry people in there culture. Laws in country's are really unfair, if God made us all, why is everyone shunned and humiliated for stuff like religion, race, sex, lesbian/gay/strait,etc.? (link)
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We have a purely genetic tendency to favour and protect those we are closest to. It has a strict hierarchy. Top of the list is family. Every animal will strive to protect it's offspring. Driven by the desire to propogate it's OWN genetic information even if it means deliberatley harming or killing those who pose a threat. Further down the list our 'favour' falls on those we share culutural and/or nationalistic beliefs with, and indeed skin-colour. We identify with them. Basically we feel they are 'more like one of US' and anybody who does not really 'match' us is 'one of THEM'. This is the cricial driver behind all forms of prejudice. A genetically 'wired' desire to fill the earth with copies of ourselves and favour those we feel are 'like us'.
We have an inbuilt knee-jerk response, for instance to be repelled illness and physical deformity. Thankfully we as humans have the intellect to overcome these purely 'mammalian' instincts. We do not deliberately let the injured sink or swim, do not 'weed out the weakling', no longer incarcerate those with psychiatric problems. We appreciate that we are all 'world-citizens' . There is only one earth, one race. The human race. And usually try to accept (if not actually subscribe to) differences in religion, culture, sexual orientation etc. Nazi Germany was perhaps one of the most chilling examples of eugenics the world has ever seen. The proverbial 'perfect storm' of social and economic and nationalistic circumstances, world events, and a very powerful, monomatic leader. Fear, hostility and the baser human instincts gained the whip-hand and ran riot. Hopefully we'll not see it's like again. (Note Nazi Germany, not Germany per se.) In essence overcoming prejudice is acknowledging a genetic tendency and acting consciously to compensate for it and overcome it. Quite inspiring, I think? Freud would be proud!! Best wishes.
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