My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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I defentally need some advise!Ok well theres this guy...i really love him and always have, ever since i knew Kimmy. She is 16 and just recentally moved from Mongolia, so obviously her and her family are oriental. The only problem is the guy im madly in love with is her dad, Sanneybobo. I mean its not like hes married or anything. Well he was. It was just a fling, i know he really digs me! Hes 57 and i am 16. Do you think its too much of an age diffrence or will the love we both share for each other shine trough? Please tell me what you think! (link)
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I agree with everyone on this - the age gap is far too big. He may seem cool and lovable now, but can you imagine in the not too-distant future he will be drawing his old age pension, have false teeth and no hair. All he will want to do is sit in front of the TV and sleep whilst you will want to be socialising and out having fun. Be friends with him and enjoy his company but as the father of your friend - nothing else. All the best.
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My boyfriend has had sex with many other girls before, and he wants me to lose it to him. I love him but, i want to know the symptoms that might occur after we have sex. I also would like to know how, it would feel and how long will I bleed. I get horny easily but, i will never try to masterbait and, i just want to know if i should endure in sexual intercourse with my boyfriend or not!!By the way i am a female! I also would like to know if i should suck him off!! (link)
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Please DO NOT start having sex at your age. Your boyfriend is obviously a lot older than you. Also DO NOT suck him off - you don't know if he has any STDs. If he has had as many partners as he says then the chances are he could have contracted something.
You are only 13 and he will get into trouble with the police because sex at your age is illegal. There are so many reasons not to have sex:
HIV
STDs
Pregnancy
Getting a reputation for yourself.
Getting into trouble with the police.
Getting into trouble with your parents.
Your body is not mature enough to cope just yet.
Your emotions are not mature enough either.
The list can go on.
If he is asking you to "endure" a sexual encounter then he obviously doesn't respect you. The chances are he will have his wicked way and then dump you. His track record speaks volumes about the way he treats his girlfriends. He may even have a child hidden somewhere!
Please I am begging you to think long and hard before going any further into this relationship. I wish you all the very best and I hope you come to make the right decision.
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I'm a bit worried. I found a small lump which I think is the color black under the skin of my vagina. It has been there for a while but I have just recently become concerned with it and I thought I should get an opinion before consulting with my mother or doctor. Could you please tell me if this is something I should be concerned about? (link)
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Without actually seeing what it looks like it is impossible to say what is wrong. For your own peace of mind I suggest you ask your mum to have a quick look then make an appointment with your doctor. You can ask to see a female doctor if you think a male doctor would be too embarrassing. It is always better to see a professional than to spend days worrying about all the different possibilities of what it could be. Good luck.
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My brother and I threw this big 4th of July party at our beach house so of course there were some random people there that we didn't know. Well my brother overheard this one girl talking smack about me (I don't get why she'd come to my party if she has a problem with me but whatever) so he went up to her and told her to leave. They started arguing, he called her a bitch for what she was saying and how she was acting so she punched him right in the jaw and it busted his lip. I saw his fist clinch after she hit him but he held back and told her to get the fuck out or he'd make her leave. She left.
I was about to punch her back for punching him but he told me to not get involved. Actually, I kind of wanted him to punch her lol. I mean, I'm all about guys not hitting girls but it really ticks me off when girls hit guys just because they know the guy won't hit him back.
So I was just wondering what you guys would have done in this situation.
(link)
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Well done for your brother not retaliating by hitting her back. He has a lot of self control and should be congratulated on the way he handled the situation.
He was right that you should not get involved in physical fighting, but I think you need to know what she was saying about you. In your position I would want to ask her to tell me what she said. That way you can deal with any rumours she may be spreading about you. It might be possible that she had been drinking a little too much and didn't know what she was talking about.
At the end of the day, all your true friends know what you are like so you should just hold your head up high and take no notice of her. Good luck.
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Me & my boyfriend have been going through a really rough time the past few weeks, and we've finally got things back on track. I think most of the reason we got into so many arguments is because of me. I always throw things WAY out of porportion. I want to show him that I do love him with all of my heart & I never want to lose him.
On Saturday he'll be coming over to my house, and we'll be spending the night all alone. I want to do something REALLY special to show him I love him & apologize for everything that's happened the past few weeks! I want it to be HUGE! Something he'll never forget, just for me & him. No price limits or anything, [hehe, i'm getting paid this friday! soo, it doesn't really matter how much it is.]
We're both abstinent, soo nothing like sexual pleasee!! :]
Thanks soo much! (link)
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Even though you are both abstinent, I suggest that you have a really romantic evening. Cook him a lovely meal with romantic music playing in the background. Then run him a bath with candles and refreshing bubble bath, let him dry off with a warm fluffy towel and then watch a film together. If you are spending the whole night together I suggest clean sheets with rose petals over the covers then snuggle down together to sleep. In the morning take him breakfast in bed.
You can have a wonderful time together without any sexual contact. I hope it all goes to plan whatever you choose to do. All the best.
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ok this is very embarrasing but I am and girl but when i was born i was born with a penis..he doctor says im a girl cause i have boobs and i have periods...dont ask me how cause i really dont know how. When i have sex with boys do u think this will creep them out? and should i get my penis removed?
ANSWER BACK SOON! (link)
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I really think you ought to ask the professionals about this. Perhaps they could put you in touch with someone who has already gone through this. It is an unusual situation and is very difficult to answer unless you have been through it yourself. I hope that you can talk to your mum about it because I am sure she will have questions too.
You should only go in for surgery if you are advised by a medical professional. I hope that this helps you somehow to make a better choice. I wish you well.
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How do you know if ur breast get bigger? because my breast hurt right now and i do not know what it is..
is it a lucky chance when your boobs grow it hurts?
Why do my boobs hurt?
god, im so confused.
(link)
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Your breasts can ache when they are growing and they can also feel lumpy and tender just before a period. It shouldn't cause you too many problems but you may need to be properly fitted with a bra to help with the aching. I hope this helps.
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i want to start talking to my mom about 'private issues' and i was wondering which would be more embarassing to talk to your mom about: bras or shaving legs? thanks! (link)
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You shouldn't be embarrassed about asking your mum anything. She has done it all before you and she in turn had to ask her mum or some other relative.
I think your mum would be pleased that you felt comfortable enough to ask her your personal questions. It is a sign of maturity that you are thinking of getting bras and shaving your legs.
My eldest daughter (19) asks me all sorts of questions and my youngest daughter (11) has just started on that long road to becoming a woman. My son (21) is a little more reticent but I have bought him condoms in the past.
I hope that it all goes well for you. Good luck.
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ok..
so im only 16.. im about 5'7".. 140 lbs
and my breasts are already an overflowing size of 36D.
im pretty sure that they arent gonna grow anymore.. but i love looking at cute bathing suits.. and it SUCKS that i cant even find any that are the right fit for my bust! Guys always stare and it makes me self coonscience.. because i am always thinking that guys are only talking to me.. and think im pretty because of them...also.. girls think that theyre jealous.. but they really arent.. because i dont see how you could want boobs THIS big.!
Any comments?! (link)
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No-one is completely happy with their body and it must be awful to have the guys talking to your breasts all the time.
I'm sorry that I cannot offer you any practical advice because I am not generously proportioned. I just want to say you should hold your head up high and ignore all the jealousy and bitchiness of other girls, and ask the guys to talk to your face not your assets. I sometimes think that guys are not aware that they are staring elsewhere and you have to shock them into seeing you first with some clever put downs.
I hope that you get the answers you need. Good luck.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for about ten months now.. we are both 16 and i dont think he fully appreciates me..
We get into the STUPIDEST fights and he calls me names constantly.. I really do love him but I often find myself thinking about how much fun I could be having with someone who would appreciate me soo much more and treat me like a princess.. I dont think my boyfriend realizes how special i am. I dont want to break up with him though because he was my first everything- sex, real kiss,.. and weve been through alot with eachother..
what should i do? (link)
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When a relationship has run its course then the wisest thing to do is leave. You may think that being with the 'first' guy is the right thing to do, but if he is making you unhappy then it sounds like you may need to move on.
It sounds like he is making things difficult for you so that he doesn't have to be the bad guy in all this and dump you first.
You really need to have a good talk to find out if things can be put back to normal, or whether he or you feels the need to let go.
I hope that it works out for you together, but if it doesn't you are only 16 and you have your whole life in which to live happily. I wish you well.
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What are the chances of a girl coming up to you at a night club? Thanks. (link)
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It depends on many things.
Is the guy really good looking?
Is she the sort of girl that will initiate a conversation?
How much drink has she had?
Is she giving the guy the eye?
Girls are a lot more outgoing nowadays so I guess the chances are higher than they used to be. However, that said, most girls do like a guy to make that first contact.
Hope this helps.
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Female-and feel like something is wrong wityh me
okay well i have been asked out already by lots of guy but by guys that are not my type. All the guys that i like are really shy and i am the same way too, shy to ask them out but all of my friends say that they like me.My friends have had their first kiss,date,and boyfriend.My friends say that i am pretty and so does my family.My friends are all younger than me well most so that makes it more weirdis their something wrong with me (link)
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It can be really hard to take a deep breath and ask the guy that you fancy out. If that seems a bit too much for you why not write a little note and pass it to him. You only have to say would he like to go for a coffee sometime and add your number.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being shy and some guys really like that. However, if they are shy as well then lack of communication on both sides makes it a bit impossible to get together.
If you get knocked back don't take it to heart - life is all about learning how to take things we don't like. I wish to all the best and hope that my suggestion helps you.
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i have been having alot of trouble finding someone to get me to babysit latly.. my neighbors have asked me once and my other neighbors havent even looked at me.. i think they know i can babysit, but what should i do to get the attention of my neighbors so i can babysit their kids? (link)
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Quick answer - try a leaflet drop to your neighbours giving them some information about your background and abilities as a babysitter. Don't forget to mention your hourly rates and telephone number if they are interested.
Briefly state how much experience you have and say you have the backing of your parents (only if you have that though).
Good luck.
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lately i've been getting uncontrollably aroused by guys with lip rings.. when i see one, i feel the urge to jump on them.. i dont know why i think theyre hot! it just is.. i dont know what to do or why im feeliung this way.. HELP! (link)
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If lip rings on guys gets you going then that is your personal choice. It is perfectly natural to feel turned on by visual things - for example some men get turned on by big boobs, some girls are attracted to guys with pert bottoms (my favourite). It's all horses for courses in this world and it would be awfully boring if we were all turned on by only one thing.
Enjoy the feelings that it gives you and maybe one day you will find a guy with a ring that really does it for you. Good luck.
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lately ive been wanting to have sex with my boyfriend of 4 months but i know im not ready for it..at times i think i am but sometimes i think im not, im afraid that one of these times im going to think im ready and actually have sex with him. how do i stop doing this? or should i jsut do have sex with him? (link)
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If you need to question whether or not to have sex, then you are not ready yet. Don't ever just have sex for the sake of it or just to please the boyfriend - it is never worth it. You will just end up disliking yourself for being a pushover.
When you are ready to have sex you will feel the need to be connected to the guy you have chosen to lose your virginity to.
Make sure you are properly protected by using a condom against diseases and possibly the pill as well to protect against pregnancy. It is always wiser to use double protection.
Always remember that once you have crossed that line, there is no way back to being a virgin.
I wish you all the very best.
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When is it like the 'ok' age to have sex? My friend, I believe shes rushing into it way too quick. Since shes only 14. She hasn't done much yet. But, I'm worried about her. Health wise, & 'reputation wise' What age is the ok age? & what should I say to her, & her boyfriend/best friend [there on & off. as a couple. -__-] about it? (link)
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Okay, 14 is really far too young to be thinking about having sex. It is illegal to begin with. At that age she has neither the maturity to cope with all the emotional baggage that it brings, or how the physical side of this will change her as a person.
She will certainly get a reputation as a girl who will "give it" to any guy if she starts to sleep around. As a couple, having an on/off relationship is a complete disaster for a meaningful sex life together.
Everybody is different and for some, having a sex life at the legal age of 16 is right for them, whereas others do not feel ready to go that far until they are that much older. There is no 'right' time that is standard across the board because we all mature at different rates.
You have to be a strong friend for her and tell that she needs to do a lot of growing up before it is okay to start a sex life.
Healthwise - she needs to know about HIV/AIDs/STDs and all those nasty little things that she can pick up from having sex without protection. Most importantly of all she is risking her early years by dicing with the chance that she may fall pregnant. She really needs to listen to you explain to her how silly it would be to start something now that she may well live to regret.
Once she has given her virginity to someone it can never be taken back. She needs to realise that casual sex is never as fulfilling as sex with someone that she has a deep and meaningful relationship with.
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I bought a pet rat a few days ago. I've kept hamsters, rabbits and guinea pigs but never a rat before. We're getting on well and she's sitting on my desk as I type this. She seems healthy -- shiny thick coat, bright eyes, clean tail, eats plentifully -- but she sneezes an awful lot. Is it just dust or might she be sick? Incidentally, her cage bedding is recycled paper, not wood shavings. (link)
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We keep rats and my son has bred them. The sneezing is not a problem unless there is blood coming from the nostril or a yellowy mucus.
One of our rats constantly sneezes and it is perfectly healthy. Your rat may be more sensitive to smells, and using wood shavings is a better option than recycled paper.
If you find that your rat starts bleeding from the nostrils then it would be a good idea to have it looked at by a vet, otherwise I wouldn't worry too much about it.
I hope this helps.
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Ok so I am a 16 year old guy. I dated this one girl for about eleven months. I thought everything was fine but she dumped me. I still like her though. And I told her this many times but she always told me that she needed time to sort out her feelings, which was fine, I understood. After a few months of this I realized she probably wouldn't like me again so I moved on. I recently found a new girl and she is great. I love talking to her and she is just plain wonderful. Then all of a sudden my ex starts telling me how my new girlfriend is a slut, and that I'm only dating her to get laid, which is totally untrue. Anyway, she tells me that she never really did stop liking me and that she broke up with me so our relationship wouldn't be hurt, and that's stupid in my opinion. Anyways, I'm not going to give up the relationship I have now, but I have been friends with my ex my whole life and I don't want to lose her as a friend. What should I do? (link)
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Your ex sounds as if she is a bit jealous of your new relationship. She may have still harboured hopes of getting back together with you again one day.
It's good that you are not listening to her lies and will continue to be with your new girlfriend, but your ex must understand that it is over between you as girlfriend and boyfriend. Tell her that you still wish to remain friends with her but if she cannot keep her opinions to herself then you have to think of yourself and your new girlfriend and tell her to keep away.
It is always hard when a relationship ends but you have to keep going forward. Give your ex the chance to explain herself if you feel she needs to, but don't take any form of abuse against your new girl. I wish you the best of luck.
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ok this guy i have liked 4 2 years we went out once but we have been good friends since and i have never gotten over him i ahve always loved him and im not sure if he likes me back like he always wants to hug me at school and he always holds me in his arms and he awlays wants me to call him and he always says sweet things he loves talking to em and im his favourite person to talk to and im fun and he makes me love him even more we talk everyday and it rives me crazy i was just wondering does he like me or not plz tell me
XoXo......LoVe..............HiLdA =] (link)
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From what you have written it does sound as if he really likes you. Perhaps it might be a good idea to ask him if there was a chance that the two of you could get back together again. If the reason that the two of you broke up in the first place was being too young, then the chances are you could make a go of it again.
If you do not have the confidence to ask him outright then perhaps writing him a note may help you. If you don't ask you won't know and it would be a shame to miss out.
I hope that you can both make a future for yourselves together and I wish you all the best.
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I'm really scared because I had sex with my boyfriend on Monday and on Wednesday I noticed that I was bleeding a little bit, down there in my vaginal area. Its not a lot of blood, but it's still enough bleeding to have my conserned. It is now thursday, and I'm still bleedin, lightly. whats going on?? (link)
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It is quite normal to bleed occasionally after having sex. I would give it another couple of days and if it doesn't clear up then I suggest you have it checked out.
Your boyfriend may have accidently caused a small abrasion or caught the side of the vagina if he was fingering you.
Make sure you always use protection. I wish you well.
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