steph2k10's advice column

asksteph2k10

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: OK here is the long and short. I have a CD Burning program called CD Burner XP, I have a CD-RW by Memorex ( I am sure this time that it's CD and not DVD) I have a Dell computer and Some MP3 songs that I downloaded from MP3Panda.com... How do I get them onto the CD where I will be able to play it in my car or in my CD player. Please be detailed. I have tried using Burn Data CD and Burn Audio CD and everytime either my cd get's rejected or it doesn't register that there is a CD...Oh and here are the CD Drives I have on my computer... the one that says DVD and DISC and the other says DVD RW DISC (the latter one is the one that I have beenn using. When I use the other the programs never accept that there is a CD in there. Thank you for the DETAIL! :)

try this:

dont use ANY burning programs.

first, open the window on you compuer that has all your music in it. (start, my documents, my music) open the window with all the music files, and make it small, and push it to one side of the screen.

THEN, put in the disc. if a window pops up asking what action you want, click cancel.

go to start, my computer. it will bring up a screen, at the bottom, you should see a little disc symbol that says "removable disc D:" (or E: or F:)

click on that it will bring up an empty window. make the window small to where you can see this window on the right half of the screen, and the first window with the music files on the left half of the screen. (so the two windows should be side by side)

once you see this on the screen, click on one of the music files you want on the CD, click and hod it down. Drag it to the left to the empty window and let it go. this is called "drag and drop".

drag and drop all the music files you want on the CD, (a normal disc can only hold 18 to 21 songs so dont put too many.

once all the songs you desire, are in the window on the left, look to the ride side of the window and you will see "write these files to disc". CLICK that, and follow the onscreen instructions from there!

good luck! hope this helps. =]

steph 21

Q: My bf n i have been together 8 months n im pregnant he doesnt know yet n i dont know how to tell him no one knows but me n my friend... i had a prego test done at planned parenthood... but i had implanon ..a form of birth control my bf n i still used condoms 98% of the time but a few times they ripped n a couple times none was used... hes a good guy but im worried itll change us i know i cant keep it for several reasons...my heart is extremely weak just had surgery... my future his futrure our families n we dont each other well enuf to raise a baby itd break us apart etc.. but im also worried hell think im lyin or that hell wanna keep it possibly, he knows how much i hate girls than lie bout it but our friends gf has been lyin bout bein prego so im wooried hell think i am ...would i be better off havin an abortion n not tellin him or wat im worriedL

Ok,

First of all, this baby is 50% his baby and you can't just get an abortion without telling him that he has a child that would be VERY wrong.

Secondly, you were mature enough to have sex, so you need to be mature enough to handle the consequences.

You need to go to the doctor, and ask him straight up, if your body can handle the pregnancy. If not, he'll tell you what to do from there. Don't just assume you need an abortion and kill your baby in haste.

Im not trying to sound rude but this is a serious thing! If you weren't financially ready for a baby you should not have had sex! I know it feels good but it comes with a price....

By the way, an abortion can hurt your body to the point where you cannot have children later, there are always complications.

Im sorry you are going through this. You need to tell your parents as soon as possible so they can start helping you get the necessary steps taken care of.

They will probably be mad at first, most parents are, but they will get over that quickly and start helping you.

You can't NOT tell your parents. The fact that you have only told your friend is irresponsible, tell your parents, have them go to the doctor with you and start asking him some questions.

Hope this helps. Again, im sorry if I sounded harsh, I just really care about you and want you to take good care of yourself.

Steph =]

Q: I have a huge problem. I know it might sound wierd but dont laugh! I want to date men, kiss men,have sex with men,mary a men and have children with a men but i would'nt mind have sex with a girl! Am i a lesbian or not? But i want to mary and have sex with a men but like if a girl came to me and ask me if i wanted to have sex with her i would'nt mind and i'd say yes! So plz help me and tell me if you considered me a lesbian.
thanks

you love men and want to be with a man, but you are just sexually curious about women!

this makes you bisexual for now. who knows you might end up liking women better then men. OR you might realize that sleeping with girls just isnt your thing.

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months and now all of a sudden he doesnt come home or call me to talk to me anymore. What should I think?

i dont completely agree with the person below me, You cant jump to conclsions that he is cheating or has lost interest. Dumping him over text message is pretty immature and childish.

what you need to do is talk to him. find out what is causing this behavior, get down to the bottom of it,and let him know how his behavior makes you feel. he could be cheating, but be mature about things and find out the right way. Theres no reason to dump him over txt message when there might be something really wrong in his life, and he might need you now more than ever!

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: i've been a relationship with my ex-boyfriend for bout 3yrs and our sex life was great!! but since we broke up and we i have sex with my new boyfriend i dont seem to catch an orgasm it doesn't matter what we try i just can't seem to get off

some men are just better in bed than others!

it depends on their penis shape, and how adventerous they are in bed.

try to direct your new guy and show him what feels good. He cant really read your mind. =]

steph 21

Q: What happens if you take Norethisterone tab eleven days before a period is due instead of three to four days I am going on holiday and I want to delay them but I feel that my period might be coming a week early

nothing will happen you can take it any time before your period, its just suggested to be taken 3-4 days before. But you CAN take it 11 days before.

Just make sure you dont take it longer than 2 weeks.

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: This straightener has had over 4500 reviews and it's a 5 star straightener.. has anyone tried it? i wanna KNOW it works before i pay 120$ for a new one. my hair is awful, and i truly mean it. i always wear it up because its just way too think/curly/and frizzy to wear down. PLEASE let me know if you've ever heard about this straightener. THANKS!

you didnt include the name of the straigtener you were talking about so I cant tell you if its a good one or not. :-(

But, i can tell you the best straigtener I have ever used was a CHI

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: I have been married going on 25 years. For the last few years, things have been going on a downhill slide. My husband hasn't been interested in "relations" for some time now. When I tried to discuss this with him, he blows his top and tells me to leave him alone and I am feeling like a disease. Things have gotten so bad that I have actually found out he has been on a website for swingers and on line hook ups. I set him up and he actually showed up for the meet n' greet (which I didn't go too...ya im a cowardI even went so far as to have an affair (I still see him on occassion). I really think we are both done with it. What other options do I have to work this out.

I helped someone else who was in a similar situation.

the best thing to do in this situation, it to sit your husband down, and tell him you dont think its working out, and get a divorce. I know this sounds really harsh and is going to be tough to do, but honestly, at this point, it looks like you and your husband just arent right for eachother. You are both obviously finding romance and "relations" elsewere, and unless you want to just ignore facts, it would be the healthiest to just end it. I know it can be hard to end something that you invested 25 yrs of your life in. He is no longer emotionally, or physically there for you, which you shouldnt subject yourself to any longer!

you deserve a man who loves you, and will treat you like he should. Just be honest with yourself, make a game plan, and figure out what action you need to take to move on.

hope this helps. email me if you need some support or want to talk about it more. =]

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph

Q: I am 19/f, and I am currently majoring in the Associate of Science in Medical Coding and Billing. I have been trying for months to look for jobs in this category, but no luck.

A lot of people have jobs in this with no experience, and I don't know how they get those jobs. It frustrates me a lot because every ad says I need experience and education, when everyone else got it with just a high school degree as a requirement.

I do ask them, and they just tell me they're unsure. Maybe I am looking in the wrong places, but I even try places where I don't necessarily fit every requirement, and I even try Nursing Homes for just about every position possible so it would look nice on me to have that experience.

Well no one is hiring. I tried just about every Nursing Home in my area, and almost every hospital -- all say not hiring. I just don't know right now.

I live in the Cincinnati, Ohio region, if anyone can list me some websites where I can apply for these jobs. I have some education, and no experience; but I do have a 2 year work history in retail/food.

Anything, like links, tips, advice would do. Honestly, I am just needing someone to point me in the right direction. Anything is appreciated. I would love doing this soon! But with this economy, I am having major doubts.

Thanks in advance.

I tried looking up some jobs for you, but to no avail.

i know how hard the economy is. In march I was laid off from my job and havent been able to find a new one yet. Ive applied to over 130 places in the last 6 months, and NO LUCK

most likely, its not that you resume is undesirable, but look at it this way:

the unemployed rate is so high, that if a job becomes available, most likely, there is close to 100 people that could apply for that job, which drops your chances of getting it to 1 out of 100, or 1% chance.

The best thing to do it to just keep trying. you will find a place soon, stay determined. =]

hope this helps, and good luck! =]

steph 21

Q: lately i have been very paraniod about everything, i use to just a little scared of things but now i cant stop thinking of killers and murderers coming to my house i cant sleep anymore because i keep having bad dreams when i dont think about scary things before i go to sleep. i had the same dream three times in a row and the killer in friday the 13th was in it and i hadnt even watched that movie in forever isnt that suppose to symbolize somthing . i sleep with my window closed my light on and the tv i dont even feel safe when a friend is sleeping over. what is wrong with me i was never like this before and i dont want to take pills for it.how do i get the bad dreams to stop and how do i stop being so scared and paraniod?

I have answered a few other dream questions here on this site.

Dreams are subjective which means they are based on your thoughts. If you go to bed every night and you lay there thinking of all these bad things happening, then you are setting yourself up for nightmares.

Usually, nightmares are based on SUBconsious thought, (thoughts that are actually in the back of your mind during the day, not necssarily what you think most about all day.) Your biggest fears manifest themselves through dreams. So what this means for you is that you are bringing this upon yourself mentally! You have a bad dream 1 time and it upset you so much, that you worried about it severely and now the dreams wont stop. Its like a vicious cycle.

heres what you do.

(i know it sounds silly)

look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself

"no one is going to hurt me in my sleep. The windows and doors are locked, mom and dad are here, and monsters are not real. I need to get some restful sleep, no nightmares tonight!"

it really does help.

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: How do I change mailboxes in iPod touch ?

on the home screen click on the "settings" icon

once there, click on "mail, calendar, contacts"

once thats done, you can add more mailboxes or turn some off that you dont want to show anymore.

good luck!! =]

steph 21

Q: Ok so between my eyebrows I have 2 small scars because of 2 pimples i had gotten a month ago. when they first came i was stupid enough to pop them, leaving the small scars. my friends say its not noticeable unless someone's like IN my face or something haha. but, i hate that it's there. i feel like you can see them. its annoying. so ive been using this stuff from clean n' clear. its supposed to diminish acne scars. ive been using it for a week so i know i cant expect miracles yet. i also use a face wash from clean n' clear, for a week too. i just hope they both work. my questions are:

Do these pimple scars last forever?

Will guys care if I have them in between my eyebrows? (i know..its stupid to ask that)

and

do you know of anything else thats cheap that can help just incase the stuff im using now doesn't work? maybe home remedies, if there are any?

thanks in advance :)

There's this awesome scar cream called Mederma.

I was mauled by a dog when I was little and I had several scars on my face, and thanks to mederma, you can hardly notice them anymore.

Look it up! It takes a few weeks to see results, but it works great!

Steph 21

Q: 16/f

well to start off, its takin me a while to build up trust with my mom again. shes caught me with drugs and drinkin in the past, and now im finally on her good side. the only thing recently is that she found out me and my boyfriend are havin sex.

now heres the problem, i have to tell her im pregnant. my mom means the world to me and im scared to break her heart, plus she could fuck over my boyfriend because we arent legal. shes the kind of person that you need to let her think before you talk to her about somethin, so i was thinkin i would slip a note in her purse tonight for her to read tomorrow and then ill talk to her after work. orrr, id wait for school to start and send her a text.

what do you guys think would be a good way for someone like my mom, whos very fragile and needs to think about things for a while before you discuss them with her ?

thanks !

Hey,

Honestly, I think if you were mature enough to have sex, then you should be mature enough to break the news to your mom.

Texting her in the middle of work could distract her from working because I'm sure once she finds out, that's all she's going to be able to think about all day. And get stressed out.

Since this is such a serious thing, I think the best thing to do would be to tell her to her face. Almost every mom tells, and us dissapointed for about an hour. THEN, the realization will hit that she can't change it now, and she will switch from "upset mom" into " mommy mode" and start talking to you about getting things ready for the pregnancy. Taking you to doc's appointments, etc.

Just tell her. If it was ANYTHING else, I would say to leave her a note or something, but THIS is something that needs to be talked about as soon as possible because there are important things that need to be done RIGHT AWAY, like your first doctors visit, and starting your prenatal vitamins.

I hope this helps I know pregnancy can be a scary thing for a young person, heck I'm 21 and I'm terrified of childbirth. :-/

I'm here for you. Email me if you want to talk about it or need some support. =]

Stephanie.Ellick@gmail.com

Steph

Q: (sorry if this is gross :( )
i feel so stupid. i cannot for the life of me put a tampon in.
im 16 and ive had my period for three or four years and i keep trying but i cant get the applicator in more than halfway. i know HOW to put one in but it just wont go in! any advice on how to make this easier? thanks

i actually helped 3 other girls learn how to put one it.

its quite a long email so send me an email to my email address and Ill copy and paste the message I sent to them!

hear from you soon! =]

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph 21

Q: Okay so I need some tips on losing weight. I'm not fat! But, I just want to lose weight cause everyone is thin around me. So, I work out everyday (for the past 9 months)..and I sometimes don't eat a lot. I know, it's unhealthy, but I'm never hungry =/. So my question is..how can I lose weight fasterr?

Im a little overweight myself and I have searched the internet for every "lose weight quick" product, but after spending TONS of money and wasting too much of my time, this is what I learned.

The only true way to lose weight, is diet and excercise.

Problem is, I am so busy that I hardly have time to work out! So I made sure I started buying nothing but healthy food.
(If you don't buy junk food, you won't eat junk food.)

I cut soda completely out, which is one of the fastest ways to lose weight.

Eating healthy takes a strong mind and for years I just couldn't stick to it. Then someone close to me got very sick and had a stroke, and they weren't old either. This scared me and gave me the motivation I needed to stick to it this time.

Most importantly, NEVER SKIP BREAKFAST. Eating breakfast is actually what starts your metabolism for the day, so if you don't eat until 12 noon, then your metabolism doesn't start working until 12 noon!

After every meal, your metabolism works really hard for about 2 hours...then it starts to die down again. The best way to keep it going is to eat 5-6 small meals a day. Make sure its all healthy, eat a small portion about every 3 hours. Apple slices with peanut butter, a handful of nuts, yogurt, any fruit or fresh veggies like carrots are good. ... and maybe a fish fillet or grilled chiken and rice for dinner. There are tons of healthy recipes online to try!

In order to stick to it and be successful, you have to be borderline obsessive about and have others help you too.
You will have your weak moments and if you reach for a cookie, have someone stop you. Their support will make things easier.

Hope this helps! =]

Steph 21

Q: Okay so I am 15(F)and the guy is 16(M). I really like him. We have been dating for like two months now. But anyway. The problem is that sometimes he can be really dirty. Sometimes I like it or I don't mind it, but other times I feel like he wants me to be dirty back. He wants to have sex... Yeah, I don't. He gets that though I think. But whenever we are making out, I am always the one to stop it. Like, if it starts going too far, I am always the one to say "Okay, that's enough". I feel like he is always ready to just keep going, that I can't slip up. Or sometimes when we are on the phone or texting he will send/say somthing really dirty and I will be like "uhm..." and just kind of choke up. He's always like "Don't be so tense babe" but I don't know, I'm not used to that kind of stuff. All the guys I have liked before have been really... I don't know... not like that. I've told him that I'm not really experienced with those kinds of things (the making out and naughty phone converstations), but for some reason, he thinks thats hot and it only makes him want to do it more. I'm really stuck because I like him, but I just don't know how to be dirty like he wants me to... Help?

you dont need to be dirty like HE wants you to be.

I can tell by reading your post, that you arent ready for all that. thats completely normal. I can also tell that it seems to make you uncomfortable. Heres my advice.

dont feel like you have to do it because he wants you to. if you have ANY doubts, the you are not ready. You will know when you are ready.

He should respect the fact that you arent ready for all that dirty stuff. if he loves you the way he should, he wont try to pressure you into that. he will wait until you are ready.

so be mature about it. pull him aside, tell him how you feel. If he is the right guy for you, it will all work out.

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: Well this is a tough one and I have no clue what to do, lost you could say. Im going to try and explain this to were it makes sense. Im 13 and turning 14 in a month. Curently I live with my jerk of a step father and mom. when i was little something happened with me and my dad. He went to jail. My mother lied saying my step dad is my real dad. I found out the truth a year or so ago and found my real dad a month or so ago now me and my dad have grown close. How do i get my SD to let me see my dad?

i also have step-dad / real dad issues

honestly, i cant tell you its really going to depend on what your dad did.

if he did something serious, like sexually molested you or something like that, then I can understand why they wouldnt want you to see him.

if it wasnt that severe, you need to be mature about it and talk to your mom and your step dad about it and tell them they cant deny you to see your real father (unless its court ordered)

if they still dont let you, you can do whatever you want when you turn 18.

hope this helps. =] email me if you need anything or want to talk about this more.

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph 21

Q: littledolphin23.weebly.com
please leave comments and let me know what do you think? and if needed more messages let me know i wll add and i put name bottem of message and then i put my name bottem of mines

I liked your site but the spelling errors were severe, so I took your opening paragraph and corrected all the spelling mistakes so that you can fix it on your page.

Lets Live like it's our last day

Don't Sit there and think there's nothing there to do. Come on there are many things you can do... that's why we need to just live. We are here for a purpose, Clean Your room, Make up a dance, Write yourself and put it away and then in 20 years get it out and read it. Help your parents around the house. Remember they feed you and buy you clothes and meds to keep you well and healthy... Be nice to people and animals, be nice to those you don't get along with or don't like, don't say you can't or you wront, let's be postive and say "I can do it" and "I will." Don't do things that you will regrets, drink alot of water and take a mile hike. Walk,run,power walking, play a half-hour video game and 30 min tv. Read a book. Go swimming, go talk to people, just have fun conversation. No mean teasing no being negative, and don't bring anybody down. It only brings you down even more. Cheer someone up with a smile, stop worrying and just breathe and let it go. Listen to nice soft music and relax and watch the clouds go by. Don't gossip don't lie, You will live for a long time. Keep yourself healthy and happy and smile even when you don't want to or when you're having a bad day. Don't go around bringing people down. Find someone that you can cheer you up by making them laugh or being around someone who is full of life. Do well in school and you know what? Soon you are well and you will be done with school. So go around complaining that life is not fair. No it's you! You're not fair. So think about it. Look outside and look at yourself in the mirror and ask your self, what am I doing? What am I doing wrong? Where am I going? What am I doing is taking me? Who I am becoming? When am I coming? Who am I? Who is this?

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: Hey You Guys.I Really want some real Advice on this one becuase this has to do with my life and Its a very serious matter to me.Let's not begin things on the wrong hand..I love my Life.I feel like its the greatest gift I was ever given.But Sometimes I feel like Im done With it.For example,I sometimes get the feeling that All the exciting things that will ever happen In my life as come and gon.My head Is so full of dreams and I have a heart of gold but I feel like No one understands me..but me.I try so Hard to get in touch with my spiritual side becuase I so badly want to get closer with god and to understand my purpose here.I see everyone that I love Growing And finding their happiness But me..I cant seem to find happiness any where.Not in friends,not in family members,not even in boyfriends.Dont get me wrong..I love my family soooo much.I love my mommy who has been there for me through everything and Iam so gratful for her.Iam thankful for my step dad who had been in my life since i was two who never said no to anything.Im grateful for my big sister who's the most beatiful person I know and who is my biggest role model.Im even grateful for my annoying lil brother.Im gratful for my home and clothes.But most of all..Iam grateful for my best friend that came out the womb with me and that is my twin sister.When i look at her its like im looking into my heart.We have laughed together,cried together and even schemed together.lol.But that's just it..we HAVE..past tense.Everybody I know Has their own lives now.They have jobs and boyfriends and friends that they hang with allllll the time.I feel like Im no longer needed because im not gettin blessed like everyone else.I just wanna know why Im always left out.Im the type of girl who will ride a star if a could.I will always want to take away any pain that my loved ones are feeling If I could.I want nothing more then to take care of the people who have always taken care of me.Iam seveteen years old and thats my story.Somebody,anybody..What do you think I should do? I would love your feedback...thanks.

Sincerely,
confused girl.

hey, I sorry you are feeling this way.

When I was 16yrs old I felt the same way. i was stuck. like my life had ended its excitement and I had nothing to live for anymore.

Heres what I had to learn. and here is what helped me.

you are only 17. Believe it or not, life isnt really all that exciting for most people at this age. You are busy with school, going home, school, home. over and over. Dont have a job so cant just get up and spend money at a moments notice.

I have always been very spontaneous, and daring. Calling all my friends at a moments notice and creating some sort of trip. Its hard to do when you dont have the funds and parents wont let you.

if you need more excitement in your life, join more clubs or activities. I joined the KEY CLUB in my highschool and it was a community volunteer club where we helped the community and gave back to people in need. it made me feel great and like I had purpose. but there are several clubs you could join!

even getting a part time job at a coffee shop or something can open up lots of fun and exciting things!

dont stress yourself about this too much right now. just realize that you are still young and your life has just slowed down for now. When its time, things will start to get exciting. =]

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: i want to lose like 20-30 pounds not slow but not too fast. dont say speacial K or jenny craig or a stupid diet. i am on results weight loss center but its kinda slow and im not a patient person. so if you have any ideas feel free to let me know!

Im a little overweight myself and I have searched the internet for every "lose weight quick" product, but after spending TONS of money and wasting too much of my time, this is what I learned.

The only true way to lose weight, is diet and excercise.

Problem is, I am so busy that I hardly have time to work out! So I made sure I started buying nothing but healthy food.
(If you don't buy junk food, you won't eat junk food.)

I cut soda completely out, which is one of the fastest ways to lose weight.

Eating healthy takes a strong mind and for years I just couldn't stick to it. Then someone close to me got very sick and had a stroke, and they weren't old either. This scared me and gave me the motivation I needed to stick to it this time.

Most importantly, NEVER SKIP BREAKFAST. Eating breakfast is actually what starts your metabolism for the day, so if you don't eat until 12 noon, then your metabolism doesn't start working until 12 noon!

After every meal, your metabo works really hard for about 2 hours...then it starts to die down again. The best way to keep it going is to eat 5-6 small meals a day. Make sure its all healthy, eat a small portion about every 3 hours. Apple slices with peanut butter, a handful of nuts, yogurt, any fruit or fresh veggies like carrots are good. ... and maybe a fish fillet or grilled chiken and rice for dinner. There are tons of healthy recipes online to try!

In order to stick to it and be successful, you have to be borderline obsessive about and have others help you too.
You will have your weak moments and if you reach for a cookie, have someone stop you. Their support will make things easier.

Hope this helps! =]

Steph 21

bio

Hi! I'm Stephanie, I'm a 21 yr living in Houston, Texas. I've been living on my own since I was 17 and wouldnt have it any other way. Ive been through many bad things in my life. Instead of letting things hurt me and make me bitter and depressed, I have let them make me stronger. I can give great advice on almost any subject. Im getting married in December to a wonderful man named Chris, and will soon my a military wife! inbox me or email me anytime, id love to hear from you!

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com