Member Since: June 21, 2005
Answers: 261
Last Update: August 12, 2005
Visitors: 16468
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OK, so today I start a volunteer job at a senior center. I'm excited, becus i get to play games with them and stuff like that. But I'm also nervous. What if they start talking to me, but I can't understand what they are saying? Some of them tend to make fun of newer people, so what if I'm bad at a game, and they make fun of me? I know they dont really mean it, but what do i say? 3 of my grandparents have died, and my gramma is still in her 60's. please help me, i'll rate 5's for anything, even if its just encouragement! (link)
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If you can't understand what they're saying, try to deduce whether they're asking a question, making a statement, and exclaimation... whatever. Just respond as though it were an auto-response (you know, like when someone isn't listening to you and they just respond without even hearing what you've said), but with the energy of paying attention. Usually I hear people say things like "oh, really?" with an interested tone. You'll learn more as you go along.
If they make fun of you, just laugh, make some comment teasing yourself, and keep going. And, most of all, be willing to love on them - they'll love you back ten fold.
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ok well i posted before about some guy....i told him how i felt and he just said things like ohh i knew it but hes totally ok with it....now the thing is that i REALLY like him...so now i dont know what to talk 2 him about because online hes usually the quite one..so what should i talk 2 him about...and i wanna talk 2 him about me liking him but i dont wanna really other him..what should i say without him getting annoyed??? ILL RATE HIGH 4 good answers!! THANKS!! (link)
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Well, just don't bring it up alot, and don't talk about it like you're desparate. You could ask him how he feels about you, but I would advise against that for a little while.
Try to spend time with him hanging out and talking. For conversation material, try finding out what his interests and hobbies are. Get him talking about any of the ones that you find interesting and you should be able to get a good dialog going. After a while of doing that (days or weeks, not minutes or hours), after you both are comfortable around each other, then ask how he feels about you.
It'll take time that way, but it'll be worth it in the long run.
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My boyfriend told me to ask his question on advicenators to see what other guys experience. He thinks he has a problem getting TOO many erections. He gets them constantly, about 6 times per hour. Sometimes they last 1 minute, sometimes 20 minutes. He gets them randomly, even when he's not thinking about anything sexualm like when he's just sitting there or playing video games. He says its annoying and he wants to know if it's normal for all guys, and if not, should he see a doctor about it? (link)
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It's normal. Bloody annoying, but normal.
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My bestfriend is 21. She is pregnant and does not want to keep the child because she cannot support it. She wants to have an abbortion. I have mixed feelings about it, but it's her life. I don't know how I can help her..because I'm still in highschool and don't have a job where I can lend her some money. But she's lent my cousin a LOT of money because he needed help, but he can't pay herback, for other reasons. I don't know how I can help her. And she can't tell her Mom because her Mom will kick her out of the house, and then she won't have any place to live & a child.
I'm scared for her.
Any Advice??...
- If you have opinions on abortions, I don't really want to get into the subject. So thank you anyways.
Thank you
(link)
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Well, if she's going to get an abortion no matter what, then that's just that. I don't agree with abortion, but that's the way it is.
If she is willing to consider not having an abortion, tell her to see about giving the baby up for adoption. I believe she should talk to her parents either way, but I can understand the fear of being kicked out, but a child's life is worth more than wanting to live comfortably. I can't really think of any other advice, sorry.
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I grew up in a christian home. I'm almost 18 and still everything in my life is God this God that. I believe in him but that doesn't make my problems go away. I'm always crying, have the blues, feel alone, feel anger, sad, somedays I just don't feel like doing anything but lay around. But everytime I try to show to my parents that I have a problem I get God shoved in my face. Sometimes I just want to run away from home...but I know that won't solve anything. What should I do? If I stick around home anylonger I'm afraid that I'll do something to myself again. (link)
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You need to find a good strong Christian mentor who isn't "God this, God that", but instead just tells things how they are. The whole "believe because it's right" thing actually pisses me off - I believe a reasons should be intellectual more than blind following. God wants people to accept and love Him because of who he is, not because their authority figures told them to. Anyway...
It sounds like you might have something like dysthymia. It's a kind of dull, drawn-out depression. Or maybe you have something as severe as clinical depression. Or maybe you've just got a lot of stress. Whatever it is, you need to find a source of help that doesn't shove God down your throat - that will only drive you away.
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ok....so this summers been pretty fun so far. i have lots of fun and evrything. i mean ive gone to w parties had sleepovers movies did some really crazy things and today i went to a movie with almost 20 people.........im confused a little i guess like, maybe because *he*wasnt there? ive lost him already its been like and a half months since we werent together....i just dont know. maybe i cant have fun without him? when im with him now(ike i had to be this past wekend when i was with another friend) i feel awkwar i have no idea wht to do. i guess im myself but he dosnt accept it. when im not with him i losse my mind. he used to brag about how much he loved me then out of nowhrere it was over. i really ont know what i id it wasnt like a huge mistake liek cheating or ANYTHING like that. i still have no idea to this day what went wrong.i guess i have alot of friends and have fun. all i want to do is have fun this summer.everytime i try to get out of all the mess get over it move on finally & find someone new...it all fires back in my face and doesnt work. i need something to get me happy and to get my life back on track.what do i do? (link)
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As all hurts and wounds do, this will take time to heal. You need to keep a few things in mind. First, it may not have been that anything went wrong, just that he didn't want the relationship anymore. Simple as that. The second thing is that there will always be other boys.
I think you should try to keep yourself from spending much time thinking about romantic relationships in general for a while. I'm referring to both your relationship with this last guy, and potential relationships. Let yourself go be with friends and just have fun. If you ever feel the need to cry, do so, even if you're with your friends then.
Try not to dwell on the pain. Ice-cream, shopping, and TV binge therapy will only help you be depressed.
And lots of hugs. Hugs always help when they're from people who care.
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15/f
Hey i'm 5'4 and 135-140 pounds. I'm not really chubby hust a little cause i have a 36c chest. I wanna tone my stomach up so instead of a tankini when i go to the beach in auguest i can wear a bikini. i already run 2 miles a day, what else can i do? is there enough time?
-thanks! (link)
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Quoted from one of my previous responses, so ignore the parts that don't apply to you:
"Drink water. No soda, only 1 cup of 100% juice per day (and no roll-overs - if you don't have one on one day, you don't get 2 the next), and try to not eat very many carbs (rice, potatoes, carrots, sauces, sugar, grains, et cetera). For bread, keep away from white and only have some that looks at least "tanned" (whole grain, wheat, et cetera). Meat, green vegetables, and water are your friends; other vegetables, fruits, and milk your buddies; grains and juices your acquaintances; and munchies, sodas, and juice drinks your enemies.
A person should drink half their body weight (measured in pounds) in fluid ounces of water per day. Less water than this reduces your metabolism. More than this won't increase it, but, as long as it's not terribly more, won't be unhealthy. What that means is that you take your weight and divide it by 16, and that's how many fluid measured cups of water you should drink per day. I don't know how milk and juice effect this amount, but you shouldn't be drinking more than 2 cups milk or 1 cup juice a day anyway.
When there's the option of walking or biking vs driving, try to do the former rather than the latter. If you do a lot of watching TV, try to get up and be busy during commercials, or pause the movie every 15 minutes or so and walk around.
Do not purge - this will do tragic things to your body's chemistry, not to mention throw your health right out the window. Good looks are not worth sacrificing your health - a healthy woman is far more attractive than one who is annorexic.
Beyond that, about 1-2 hours per day of just walking or jogging or whatever should help. Just make sure that you don't count anything that's less than about 30 minutes - 15 minutes excersize does almost nothing. 30 minutes excersize twice does less than an hour excersize, but only very little. Although, there are those who argue (including myself) that 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening is better for your metabolism than 1 hour at either."
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Ok..well the other day my best friend came over. We were in my room listening to music. I dontreally remember what happened much but we basically ended up kissing and doing other sexual things. Were both girls. I really like guys..but what I did felt good. I've never liked girls..but after what I did with my best friend, I just dont know. Were both 14. HELP!! am i lesbian? I like guys..but hooking up with girls doesnt sound bad either.. (link)
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A lot, and I mean a LOT, of my female friends and acquaintances from highschool went through things like this. Most of them considered becoming just lesbian, most considered becoming bi. Most stayed straight, and the ones that didn't all went bi. This is a normal type of self-identity questioning.
The thing is, if you have sex, unless you aren't wanting to have sex or just really not in the mood (whether because of mood or un-attracted to the person), it WILL feel good. So don't make a determination upon how things feel, make a determination based upon what you want. Now, if all you want is sexual enjoyment, bi is what's for you - it basically doubles the number of people available to you.
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how come like in the middle of a kiss guys like to bite your lip a lil?..sorry if its a weird question. but please answer.thanks (link)
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Not all guys do. I sometimes do, just 'cause a lot of gals like it. Some women actually just like to be bit in general (most guys just don't know how to bite). Heck, even I like it when a girl bites my lip a little. It's all about preference.
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ok..if this is the second time i wrote this sry. it says i didnt ask a question and i need some advice. well i am 14 years old and there is this guy. we have been talking for about a month and a half now. he tells me he loves me and we almost had sex. everyone always asks me if we go out, i never know what to tell them so then i just asked him what were we?..were we just talkin or do we go out?..and he said we are just talking. i mean i like u but i want to talk to other girls.
should i keep talkin to him to see if things get better. or shut him outta my life? i just dont wanna get hurt. yah kno? (link)
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If this guy defines "just talkin" as "I love you and wanna have sex with you" then I wouldn't pursue any kind of relationship with him other than friendship (unless you want a purely sex-based relationship) if I were you. And if he keeps pushing to do more than you're comfortable doing with a guy like that, then tell him you don't want to see him anymore.
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Hey I'm stuck in my house all day (long story save your ramblings on anything) and I need easy food to make that is good. Not mac & cheese and no pb&j. Thanks in advance.
-Don't call me lazy or anything like that cause I'll rate you a 1-
I rate 5's for good answers! (link)
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• If you have chilli, do up a box of mac n cheese and add a can of chilli - it's enough for 3 meals if you usually eat most of a box of mac n cheese.
• If you have spaghetti noodles, do up a small handful of them and drain, get some minced garlic (or clove garlic and put it through a garlic press), some minced onion or onion flakes (or chives, if you have them), a little bit of butter, and pick a green flake type spice that smells good to you.
• If you have steak already thawed (not already cooked), you can put a handful of flour spread out on a plate and use that to cover the raw steak in flour. Put it in a pan and cover, and cook it for the way you like it. You can put pepper, garlic, onion, BBQ, or any number of other spices on it.
• If you have a can of tuna, mix it up with some mayo, relish, chopped onion (green onion works best), a little mustard, and whatever else you think would be good in it.
• Check for sandwitch makings - quick, easy, and as good as you make them. Grilled cheese w/ meat/egg/other works well, too.
Hope at least one of these sounds good to you.
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I'm not a very good kisser at all. On my last date, I could tell my boyfriend didn't want to say anything. I think it's because I'm not experienced enough to really know what I'm doing. Are there any tips (not just URLs that tell you the importance of good breath etc.) that anyone would like to share? Thanks so much!
xO* jAMiE (link)
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ispeakspanish is right - kisses without toungue can definately be the best.
I am making no assumptions about what you do or don't do, so if any suggestion doesn't apply to you, ignore it. Or laugh. Just because you can. Also, these suggestions are not for every kiss, just when they fit the right mood.
Don't lead into a kiss by planting you face into his - lead in slowly, keep your mouth pretty much closed for the kiss, and kiss slowly. Full, open-mouthed, deep frenching right off the bat is more for orgasms, passionate "I want you so bad right now", and "I just wanna make a scene" moments. Kissing with toungue is still good, it just should be led into by something not quite as intense.
If you feel him guiding your kissing, let him. You will need to pay attention to how he's kissing you, and you won't pick up on all the signals, but you'll learn them eventually.
Relax a bit. An uneasy/squeamish/uncertain kisser is a bad kisser. You need to be comfortable when you kiss.
Try a multitude of shorter kisses (as much as around 1.5 seconds) rather than one or a few long kisses.
And here's probably the one that will help you the most (without cheating), and the most important one... ask your b/f what he thinks would help and to give you tips. If he's an experienced kisser, he'll be able to tell you. If not then you two will have to figure it out together. Which can be a LOT of fun, mind you.
Really, the best way to learn how to kiss well is to find someone who kisses well and learn "lips-on" how.
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ok well my real dad died in 2003 (im 14/F)but my parents were already divorced and i was living with my moms boyfriend (mark) he was also divorced and had one child named jaquelyn whos turning 13 soon. well now iv been with mark for about 6 or 7 years but jaquelyn gets jealous when im around him and i know its her dad and she never gets time alone with him because she lives with her mom and me and my older sister are always around but its not fair, how come i cant have my dad? but now marks gonna be off work for a couple of days for two weeks and my mom told me that jaquelyn is going to want to hang out with him so what should i do? i want to hang out with him and what am i supposed to do.. sit in my room while they have fun? my older sister doesnt really care and she says i should just stay away but i cant.. i love mark and i want to hang out with him too. what should i do? (link)
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If it were me, I would make plans to go hang out with some other friends to give them time together. I mean, she doesn't get to see him very often, and it's quite rational to want to spend time with someone you love where's it's just you and them.
I'd make plans with some friends (and/or your sister) that are away from the house for a time when they are able to spend time with each other, and plan on being gone for a few hours. I would also talk to Mark about it while she was listening, telling him you want him and her to be able to spend time alone because you respect that.
She's acting the way she is because she's jealous and/or afraid of losing her dad, so if you do this, you show her that she doesn't need to feel that way. She may not change the way she's acting immediately, but it'll probably bring about some change over time.
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do most guys prefer shaved or trimed? if so how should i shave .. whats the most shave and clean way (link)
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Well, I can only answer the first part, seeing as I'm a guy. I prefer trimmed down to just long enough that it's not spikey. I've never had shaved, though, but I'd probably like that, too. It's just a lot harder to maintain, I'd imagine.
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ok i want a hot new punk look for when school starts and i dont have enough money to get much at hot topic...how ever much i would like to...but ya i need a nice place to get so baggy balck poants and a new studded belt cuz my friend stole mine...so ya i will rtate 5s for cheep answers....(under 25 $) ok bye!
(link)
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The best punk looks I've ever seen have been self-done. Get old clothes of yours, and make them into punk clothes yourself - it's time intensive, and you'll probably need help if you've never done anything like it before, but it can be either the cheapest method of all (or the most expensive, but that depends on you).
If you just want to buy your stuff, though, try a goodwill - they'll probably have at least a few punk things.
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My boyfried & I were good friends before we developed feelings for eachother. Our relationship started slow, like he'd just put his arm around me in movies & we'd talk. Then things are getting closer & by only the third or fourth date, we make out most of the movie. I love showinnng my affection for him & he's a really sweet guy I just don't want things to get touchy-feely & nothing else. How can I make sure we don't base our relationship on lust? (link)
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It'll be hard, but it's still possible. The first, and most important, thing you need to do is talk to your b/f about it. Be honest with him and tell him how you feel about both sides of the issue (want to, just not as much).
You need to decide on and define some boundaries - how much is ok, and what's not. You then need to keep those bouondaries - if they're flexible, they will bend farther and farther.
Also, decide what you want to do physically. This is different because these are the things you want to do - if your boundaries are maximums, these will be your minimums. But your minimums should be more flexible as they may not always be met.
Now, you don't want to be physical all of the time, so plan time to be physical and time to do other things. I don't mean to tell him "alright, so we'll go have dinner at 6, and after dinner drive out to an abandoned location and make out until 8" or anything, but don't make your plans such that if you're going to make out, it has to be during the movie because there's no other time available.
When you feel like things are getting too physical, you should say that you want to do something else. You can try to do things in public where you can easily be seen more often. And you could try having more conversations with him - find topics that the two of you enjoy talking about, whether it be politics, religion, hobbies, social issues, or whatever. Meaningful conversation is a necessary part of a serious relationship, I feel. This will both help you two not be as physical, and make the physical times all that much better.
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What do i do when my mom just cares about her boyfriend and she never wants me and my sister around, and all she says to me and my sister is that were imbarssments, and i hear her having sex all the time with her boyfriend, and i found a vibrater in her room! what do i do i feels like i dont even have a mother!! when i was sick with the flu she didt come home til 6 o'clock in the morning I was rushed in emergancy room, thanks to my sister calling the ambulance! what do i do I NEED HELP!
Ps-she doesnt even make us dinner or anything (link)
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First talk to your mother about it. Within the next week. If you can't, or that doesn't do any good...
Call a family member who is old enough, responsible enough, and loving and caring enough to take care of you two and ask them for help. Don't tell your mom that you will do this - if she's not going to listen to you, threats of reaching out for help elsewhere will do more bad than good. And, if you can't call/find such a family member or that doesn't do any good...
Call your local police non-emergency number. Explain your situation and that you're not sure if they're actually the people you need to talk to or not, but that you need help. Again, don't mention anything about calling the police as threats won't help you.
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ii have a seriously bad habit of biting my nails ii would love 2 have some long nails by the time school starts, does ne1 know of some really good tips and/or products or something that would get me 2 stop? -[(nail polishes? medicines?)]- any good answers get 5!! thanx loads! (link)
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Yeh, put tabasco or nail polish on them. The worse they taste, the less you'll bite.
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Does it bother anyone else when the members of this site give smartass answers, like "Well that sucks", "Your dumb", "I have no idea". This website keeps getting more and more of these users and personally it bugs me. Anyone else agree? (link)
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Actually, no. I either ignore them, or find them somewhat amusing.
It's inevitable for a site like this. A person can either ignore it or take it with a grain of salt.
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i need to come up with 90 dollars in a short period of time. I need a job. But I'm only 13 so not in a store or anything like that. I can't babysit. So what could i do to get this 90 dollars? please answer ASAP (link)
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Pet sitting, mowing lawns, ask your parents if they'll pay you to do extra chores, come up with some kind of craft thing you can do that you can sell to your classmates, and things like that. $90 may not come within the week, but the harder you work the faster it will be there.
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