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dad
ok well my real dad died in 2003 (im 14/F)but my parents were already divorced and i was living with my moms boyfriend (mark) he was also divorced and had one child named jaquelyn whos turning 13 soon. well now iv been with mark for about 6 or 7 years but jaquelyn gets jealous when im around him and i know its her dad and she never gets time alone with him because she lives with her mom and me and my older sister are always around but its not fair, how come i cant have my dad? but now marks gonna be off work for a couple of days for two weeks and my mom told me that jaquelyn is going to want to hang out with him so what should i do? i want to hang out with him and what am i supposed to do.. sit in my room while they have fun? my older sister doesnt really care and she says i should just stay away but i cant.. i love mark and i want to hang out with him too. what should i do?
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My best friend is in the same situation, her older sister says who cares what she thinks hes our dad too.
*What you are trying to do is replace your father with Mark and his daughter cant comprehend the fact of him having any other daughters, what it really comes down to is jealousy but you have to understand.. she is feeling that she is loosing her dad, but she doesnt understand that shes not. Its hard when you dont get to see your parents and they feel like there parents dont care about them anymore.. but also she needs to understand that you really need a father and he has been the best one you could have because yours is gone...
i think you should sit down and talk to her and have mark talk to her too.
--_-- hope i helped ........xx0x0
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It is only natural that she would be jealous of you and your sister. You get to see Mark 24/7 and she gets to see him...maybe on some weekends. Now think about how that would make you feel. You are also jealous of her so it just makes the situation worse. One of you needs to grow up here and start acting more mature and understanding.
First you need to discuss this with Mark. He can probably be of help to you. You need to start treating his daughter more like another sister, if not like a friend. He needs to plan activities that include you both AND those that just include his daughter. She does deserve to have alone time with him so she can get to know him. Like it or not SHE is his natural daughter. You are just a bonus, but you know him better than his own daughter does because you get to see him all the time. Tell Mark what you feel and then make sure his daughter gets some time with him alone. Let him know what you are doing...he will be proud of you for it. :)
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it is her dad so you cant hate her for that.. but she should see in your eyes that you dont have one and you need sumone to fill in for him.. but she does deserve sumtime with her daddy maybe you should hang out wit your friends or boyfriend.. invite your bestfriend over or go to her house to get your mind off of them 2 spending time together.! then after they are done its your turn again!! soo just be patient .. and his daughter may ask you if you wanna hang out wit them so be ready for anything
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well, the truth is, he really is her dad. you both deserve time with him, but you can't get mad at her for wanting time alone. this doesn't mean she gets him all the time. maybe you should go to a friend's house when she gets her time or they can plan an outing together. you get him all the time and she only gets him when she is around. she is probably feeling like she is becoming less of his daughter and you are taking her space in his heart. just give her time with him and try to understand.
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If it were me, I would make plans to go hang out with some other friends to give them time together. I mean, she doesn't get to see him very often, and it's quite rational to want to spend time with someone you love where's it's just you and them.
I'd make plans with some friends (and/or your sister) that are away from the house for a time when they are able to spend time with each other, and plan on being gone for a few hours. I would also talk to Mark about it while she was listening, telling him you want him and her to be able to spend time alone because you respect that.
She's acting the way she is because she's jealous and/or afraid of losing her dad, so if you do this, you show her that she doesn't need to feel that way. She may not change the way she's acting immediately, but it'll probably bring about some change over time.
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This is something you need to bring up with Jaquelyn. She wants to spend time with her dad because she might not see him as much as she wants to. You, however, lost your dad at a young age and Mark is somewhat of a father substitue to you. It's obvious you want to spend time with him to. But, see..since you live with Mark Jaqelyn feels that you're taking her dad away from her. We both know that's not your intention and that's what you need to tell her. But when you tell her this make sure you do it softly. Or else it will start a fight probably.
You could tell her that you understand that she wants to spend time with her dad alone, and you'd probably feel the same if you were her. But tell her that she needs to accept that you are a part of her dad's life too. Ask her if you could join them when they do stuff together. But also let her know that you will give her time to be with her dad alone. (Probably give them a day or two together alone so that she doesn't get mad.)
Loosing your father is the hardest thing in the world. But you have probably matured much more than people your own age. Maybe you feel that you've lost your father so you don't want to loose Mark to. But try to be open and give him time with his daughter. I know what happened to you wasn't fair. And it probably makes you have mixed emotions when you see a daughter and dather together because that's you want that. You are very fortunate to have a mother, a sister, and Mark to rely on. So when Jaquelyn comes over don't feel like you have to isolate yourself from them. It'll take time for Jaquelyn to realize that you are a part of her extended family, but in time she will. Again, she's a little younger than you, and you probably act older than you are. Things like this takes time for people to accept.
Love,
Mandee
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