Hi I'm a 27 year old female from British Columbia, Canada. I work in retail as a sales assoicate. I have an above average intelligence about relationships and mental health issues and love giving advice to those in need. My parents bitterly divorced when I was 13 and through this I learned a lot about relationships. I've also lived through a severe depression and mental breakdown in my early twenties, so I know a lot about mental health. If anyone has a question for me about either of these topics I would be glad to answer as best to my abililty. I would just like to add how much joy this site had brought to my life. I truly believe that by helping others you help yourself.
Website: Life Is What You Make It
Gender: Female
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Occupation: Sales Associate
Age: 27
Member Since: September 20, 2005
Answers: 75
Last Update: August 31, 2007
Visitors: 8658
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I am a Christian and I believe in God... I love God. It's just that more and more I feel I'm drifting away from my Lord. Sometimes I'll pray and promise God I will pray more and talk to him more, but I either forget to and rarely but sometimes I will say in my head, "I need to pray," but then I don't(purposely).
Does anyone have any ideas on how to get closer to God, or ways to strengthen my relationship with the Lord? I don't want to be this way... but when it comes to praying...I just don't. Any ideas? Express your feelings! Thank you so much! (link)
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It's so refreshing to see that there is still people on this site that have values and morals. I am a Christian too and struggle with the same problem. I used to be on my church worhsip team but since I started my new job I can't go because I usually work nights.
If you want to feel closer to the lord, my suggestion would be to take the Alpha course. Does your church offer this course? It's very popular. I took this course 3 times at my church. It's a great way to interact with other Christians and you will learn so much about the bible and what God wants for us.
Another way you can strengthen your relationship with the Lord is to try to live your life the way you know the Lord would want you to. Watch how you treat your family, friends and coworkers. Would God be happy with your relationship with these people? Do you try to help others who are in need? Do you donate money to charities? These are all things that God will be watching. Remember no one is perfect, and God knows this better than any one.
Another idea I have is that if you are bored or feel you are drifting away from the Lord, buy a new bible. Get one that talks about what teens are going through. I just got a new bible for Xmas, well actually it's a New Testament Bible but it's in the form of a magazine, it's called BECOMMING, by NCV (new century version). It makes it more enjoyable for me to read unlike the old fashioned bible that sometimes can get downright boring. You can probably find this in your local book store.
Let me know if I have helped!
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before you get all eww...this is kinda gross...
i lay on the deodorant twice a day: in the morning, and during pe (5th hour). but i still hyave b.o! its not awful, but its kinda gross. what should i do?
btw im a 13 yr old girl (link)
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I used to have the same problem as you. I tried every deoderant and I still sweated and had body odor. Well I was talking to one of my friends one day about my embarrasing problem because I just got hired for a job that required a lot of running around. I was worried my b.o would cause problems with my job. She told me to try a new deoderant called Mitchum for Woman. It's antibacterial and so effective you could skip a day. Since I've been using it I've never had any more embarrasing b.o problems.
It works, trust me! You can find it at Walmart.
buzzie
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Im 15 and a guy. One of my friends came out of the closet.He told his best friend and she made him tell me. I told the girl that he liked that he was gay. Then he find out and he yelled at me and so did his best friend. Now niether of them want to talk to me or look at me. They hate me. I lost half of my only true friends. My best friend said that she heard him say that he was going to hire someone to beat me up. I feel horrible. I recently told all of my friends that I myself was gay. I feel horrible about this all. I dont want to lose them as friends.I have had them forever as friends. I feel like im losing half of myself. What do I say to make everything right? I need some advice. (link)
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Wow, that's quite a complication you've gotten yourself into. Well I guess you don't need me to tell you that what you did to your friend was a really awful thing. Coming out of the closet at such a young age must have been really hard for him to do, and instead of being able to trust his friend you go and tell the girl that he liked!! Well atleast you're acknowledging that what you did was wrong. But then again, it's probably too little, too late.
Personally I think what you did was pretty much a deal breaker. But if they've been your friends for a long time, maybe it's possible to fix this.
What you can do is apologize to both of your friends for breaking confidentiality. Does your friend who just came out of the closet know that you are also gay? Maybe if you told him this it would make him feel a little bit better. I can't guarantee that this will put you back in their good graces, but it can be a first step in healing the wound that you caused your friend.
Another thing that you can do is to talk to the girl that your gay friend liked. Tell her that you were just joking around, and that your friend is really straight. If she doesnt believe you, say something along the lines of "we were having a fight and I did it to get back at him".
Well I hope that it all works out for you. I believe that you are truly sorry for what you did, and that shows that you are still a good person. Good Luck.
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I'm in love with this kid. No, I don't "think" I am, I KNOW I am. lol anyways..we've gone out about 4 or 5 times, we just split about a month ago. He said that he liked another girl that he always said he HATED. Anyways, I went to his football game the other night and they lost really bad so they were in a team huddle kind of thing and half his back and side were to me so he was supposed to be facing in the circle. But he kept turning his head a little and I knew for a fact he was looking at me. He did this a few times and I accidentally made eye contact with him almost twice.Don't you think that he's supposed to be listening to his coach instead of looking at me or something? Do you think maybe that he still has something for me? I dont know if I'm over reacting but I know if I didn't like a guy that much at my game I wouldn't be looking at him like he did to me. Any Ideas? thank yoouuu! (link)
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Yes, I think from what you've described that he still has feelings for you. Why else would he be sneaking looks at you during a football game? But I also think he might be playing games with you too. If you broke up because he said he liked another girl that he always said he hated, well that sounds like just an excuse he used to dump you. Maybe he really likes you but got scared of how close you were getting-some guys are afraid of committment. He's also really young and still in highschool. My personal opinion is that maybe because he's a jock and on the football team, he was being pressured by his friends to dump you so he could "play the field".
The fact that he's still looking at you tells me that he still probably has feelings for you and is feeling quilty about dumping you.
But the more important thing is how do you feel about him? You need to talk to him, don't do it over the phone or email. Wait until you get him all alone without his jock friends. Tell him that you'd like another chance with him. See how he reacts. Remember to make sure you do this when the two of you are alone, and do it in person so you can see his facial expression and body language. I think your chances are pretty good. Go for it!
let me know what happens!
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theres a movie I remember watching a few years back and I loved it, but all I remember now from it is There were 2 people, a man and a woman, and they were like jewel theives and they were preparing for a huge, major robbery, and the girl had to weave her way through a big maze like thing of laser alarms to get to the jewel, so they had her practicing with like red yarn set up in place of laser beams and she had to practice getting through them. Does anyone know what movie this is? Thanks in advance (link)
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The movie was called "Entrapment". It had Catherine Zeta Jones and Sean Connery. You can probably find it at Rodgers or Blockbuster.
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I am 29 years old. I met this guy who is 35 years old. Both of us are single.
I have known this guy for three months now. We always sms to each other. I spent some time with him at a forum. He was always talking to me about stuff.
I caught him staring at me when I was with my friends. When I had a cough, he was caring towards me and asked me whether I was fine or not. He bought me cough drops.
Recently he sent me a chinese new year card.
Does he like me?
What should I do?
Regards.
(link)
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I think he does definately like you, but I don't nessecarily think that he likes you in a romantic way.
From what you've described, it sounds like he's a nice guy who respects and cares about you, but only AS A FRIEND. I feel this way because it's been 3 months by now since you've known this guy, and if he was interested in a romantic relationship he probably would have asked you out by now. Also when you said he was 35 and still single, that made me wonder if he is one of those guys that's afraid of committment, or enjoys being a batchelor. Most men by that age are married and have children, or atleast have a gf. Sending you the card was a nice gesture, by I don't think it means he wants a reltionship.
I have a male friend who cares about me, when I'm sick he'll bring me over me cough medicine and he always gets me birthday and xmas gifts. He told me that he loves me as a friend. I am fine with this because he is one of my best friends, and a romance just might ruin what we have.
But the more important question is how do you feel about him? Do you want to have a close male friend or a romance? I think you should phone him up and ask him excactly where his head is. Let him know everything you've told us and see what his response is. It might turn out to be positive and you two can end up happy, and if not, while then you'll know it wasnt meant to be.
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Hi 15F. Just because im a girl means that im supposed to have a BF. and i dont by choice and becuase im ugly. but that still doesnt stop
family or friends from asking if i have a
BF.
usually when they ask i say no and leave it at that but they still ask other questions like why not? or do you think your gay?
its sooo annoying!
is there a way to say something that will make them stop asking these things i want to be polite yet firm.. i rate 5s. thanks.
~~No Boyfriend. No Problems.~~ (link)
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You are only 15, so I don't think it's the end of the world if you don't have a boyfriend. I never dated all through highschool. It wasnt that I didnt like guys, or that I was a lesbian, it was that I wasnt interested in any of the boys in my class because I found them to be too immature. Most of the guys just wanted sex and not a meaningful relationship. People are always going to gossip no matter what. I heard a few rumours that I was a lesbian. You just have to try and not let it bother you, or these people can destroy you.
If it comes up again that you don't have a boyfriend, just tell your friends that you havent met the right guy yet, and that you're just not interested in anyone from school. It's really no ones business but your own.
So try not to let them get you down. I know it's hard, but I'm living proof that you CAN survive highschool.
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okay so theres this kid who really likes me and has asked me out so many times and each time i have politely said no, but lately he wont quit and keeps on asking me and asking me sometimes more than once a day! how do i tell him to stop asking me without being completely rude? (link)
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Normally I would say to let him down gently, but when you have someone who just doesn't or won't understand that you're not interested, it's best to be FIRM.
I had a guy who was obsessed with me and followed me around like a puppy dog. He constantly asked me out and I was always really nice about it. Well one day he left a message on my voice mail and said "hey babe, call me at (his number). I was furious!! So I did something sort of mean, I got one of my friends to confront him and tell him to never phone me again and that I was NOT interested. He was really mad at me and hurt but guess what? He stopped asking me out and never bothered me again. His dirty looks were upsetting at first but at least he wasnt driving me insane any more.
So my advice is, if you're too nice to be mean to him, get a friend to confront him. It worked for me!
Good luck, let me know what happens.
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over a period of time about 6 months i have become infatuatated with my colleugues wife. whenever i go to her house to see my collegue i keep staring at her. some times i feel she is also doing the same some times.i have definiteky seen her doing the same. I am 45yrs old happily married.she is about 40.I have a hunch that she wants me to make a move but i am not sure.i want to to take minimum of risk as the consequences are too much to bear.on other hand i feel a fling for a short time is not bad as we only live once.please help me (link)
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Wow. So you're "happily married". Are you sure about that? If you were so happy with your wife why would you even consider having an affair? From what you've described it sound like you're just in lust with this woman, not in love. Lust is an emotion that usually fades over time. What you have with your wife is so much more than just lust, you have love, friendship, and live long committment. I think that you shouldnt make a move with your collegues wife. There's just too much at stake. You never mentioned having children, but if you did, think of how traumatized they would be if they knew their dad had an affair. Also think about your wife, and your collegue. Also your reputation if this got out. Please think about this carefully. Is one moment of passion worth a liftetime of regret?
I know in your heart you'll do the right thing.
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ok so i just dyed my hair fuschia and i was rinsing it in the tub and when i got out i saw that the bottom had turned pink.. does anyone have any recommendations on how to remove the pink stain?? (link)
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What I always use to get stains out of my bath tub or sink is comet. There is bleach in the comet that will probably get rid of the dye. If that doesnt work, then you might want to try something a little bit more powerful, like CLR. It's very corrosive so if you use this make sure you have gloves on.
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whats a good job for me?
-I don't like to work with people
-I have no highschool degree
-I can't do physically straining work
-I like being outdoors, but its not a necessity
-I like animals
-I'm a little dumb, yes
(link)
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I thought of a couple of jobs for you.
You could become a telemarketer. This would suit you because all you have to do is sit, and you're not working with other people just talking to them and you could be fingering them and they would never know over the phone. I'm pretty sure you don't need a highschool degree for this, and you don't need to be extremely intelligent.
You could put an add in the paper and say you can do "light" gardening, such as weeding or flowering plants. I know several old ladies who would love to have someone like you tend to their gardens. It's not that physically straining to weed compared to moving lawns! You can be in the outdoors, you don't need a highschool degree, and you certainly WON'T have to work with people.
The last job which you probably won't want that I was thinking of was being a paper deliverer. You don't have to work with people, it's not that physical ( unless you have to carry them on your shoulder), you get to be in the outdoors, and you don't need a degree. But the downside is it doesn't pay very well.
I hope I have given you some good ideas!
Buzzie
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Hi,
I am looking for this specific website where you can enter your guy friends in to try and set them up on blind dates, sort of like Match.com but it is specifically for girls to talk about their guy friends. I think this would be a great way to set my brother up. Does anyone know what the name of this site is? Thanks.
Shira (link)
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I remember the site your referring to, but can't remember the website. But I do remember it being featured on Oprah one day.
Go visit her website at Oprah.com and you might be able to find it.
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Was Vanilla Sky a good movie? On a scale of 1-10. (link)
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I remember watching this movie in the local theatre when it first came out about 4 years ago. I remember someone came out of the theatre and said it was the worst movie they had ever seen Tom Cruise in, and that it was horrible.
I myself had mixed feelings, I thought the acting was good but the story was so intricate and confusing I still didnt understand what the heck the ending meant.
But it did have an awsome soundtrack, I bought it right after watching the movie.
I'd give the movie about a 4 out of 10.
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Let me start here. Before my friend moved here, I didn't have any friends of any kind. My parents were constantly argueing and fighting. I would lock myself in my room for 3-4 hours at a time and turn off the lights and just sit there. Read a boring book or try to do something that would make me a little happier. I don't and didn't do any sports. So then I started wearing black clothes. Then I got into rock and punk music for some unknown reason. I would Cry for no reason untill this girl who is now my friend moved here. Me and her became good friends. We had alot in common. Now I found out that she's moving thousands of Mile's away. I don't want the same thing wrong with me. I can't make any new friends cause I can't trust anyone.. Please Help. (link)
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After you added the additional info, I immediately knew you were suffering from severe depression. You are only 13 years old and have already tried to kill yourself multiple times? You need some psyciatric help ASAP. You should make an appointment with your family doctor, tell him what you've just told us and he will refer you to a pychiatrist and hopefully she will prescribe the prober antideppressants.
I feel bad for you becuase I have suffered from depression of and on since I was about 16 years old. I didnt get treated until I was 19 but by then it was too late, I was SO depressed my first year of college that I ended up bombing out and ruining my GPA. If I hadnt have been so stubborn and stayed on my meds then maybe things would have worked out differently for me.
The good thing though is that you are still very young and now that we have recognized that you have this problem you can get treated and with the proper support and medication I'm sure can lead a normal life.
As for your problem with not having any friends I am positive that this has to do with your depression. It's very hard to attract people in your life when you feel so horrible about yourself. My prediction is that once you get treatment and the medication kicks in you will start to feel better and then hopefully you will have an easier time making and keeping good friends.
I hope this has helped you and PLEASE please please phone your doctor to make an appointment right away.
let me know if I have helped!!
thankyou
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14/female
I'm always jealous of other girls because I I know that their so much prettier than me. I'm even jealous of my friends. One of my friends is like so perfect: shes pretty, all the boys are like in love with her.. her life is just perfect all together. and i am SOO jealous! I reallly want to get over it but i dont know how. I'm constantly comparing myself to other people .. and i think that brings down my self-esteem.
i just want to stop being jealous because it just makes me feel worse about myself..
how do i stop being jealous? and is there anyone else out there who feels the same way ? (link)
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It's normal to feel this way at your age. Most adolescent girls don't have the confidence of older woman because they havent figured out the powerful combination of traits that sets them apart from others. By this I mean personality, body, and attitude.
For example, I may not be the skinniest or in best shape but I try to wear clothes that flatter my body. I color my hair with blond and dark brown streaks that gets me noticed and looks attractive on me. I also try to use humour and have a unique laugh that I know people will remember me by.
Jealousy is born out of anger and our own insecurity, and we can deal with it by being honest with ourselves.
Think of your friends and what they see in YOU, and what keeps them coming back to you. I'm sure it's not what your insecure about.
Also remember that everyone no matter how together or outwordly beautiful they seem has problems and things that make them jealous of others. Even the most beautiful and famous people in the world have insecurities. Take Britney Spears and Jennifer Anniston. They are both beautiful and rich but have personal problems of their own.
I hope I have helped. Remember to try to stay positive and think about what i've said!
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ok so this is an interesting situation. Pretty much em and my bf have been goin out since march. but he has moved to another province for work. Neither of us ever even mentioned breakin up, i had waited for him before and i am willin to wait for him again, but hes gone for a very long time not like just 2 or 3 months longer hes been gone for 4 months now,and we had made plans for him to meetme in a city near by and we could hook up again. But he never did get back to me on any of those plans, so i got really annoyed, so then a few dys later I had a friend tell me that he was commin to se me, so i asked him and found out that I had ruined one hel of a suprise, i felt horrible but was stil soo excited because is been so long . So he messaged me on msn saying that he was in town, o of course i was insanley excited, but i havent heard from him since its been a few days and every tiem i try to talk to him on msn he never replies.( i would call him but my phones in another town and thats where his cell number is) Now i know it could be that hes just not at the copmuter or something stupid like that. but i really dont think it is. Now i really want to find out whats goin on, im of course thinkin the worse, but thats just how i think. He really is a great guy and this just seems so unusual for him. I really want to be with him for new years, new years is an important thing for me. but there is notmuch i can do if i cant talk to him or hes ignoring me. im just so confused right now. soe opinios from guys would be great. and im sorry it was so long . (link)
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Hi! It sounds like you and I have a lot in common. My bf moved to another province for a job in the oil rigs. I sometimes don't see him for months at a time, the longest I've gone without seeing or hearing from him was almost 4 months.
I know that you love your bf and he loves you. But I can also tell you from my own experience how difficult long distance relationships are. I havent been able to email him because his email isnt set up at the camp he works at. The only way I can contact him is on his cell, but because of his crazy work shedule it's very difficult to get a hold of him. I finally got a hold of him tonight to wish him a merry xmas, the poor guy was still at work and I just happened to catch him on his break! But anyways, the point I was trying to make is that long distance relationships REALLY suck, especially around the holidays.
I think the problem with your bf may just be communication? I mean maybe his computer crashed or something. Case in point, I was really mad at my bf for not emailing me in 2 months but then just by phoning him I found out his internet wasnt hooked up. I'm sure there is a logical explanation for him not getting a hold of you. It could be many number of reasons, maybe he had a family emergency. This time of year families can really be a pain in the butt, maybe his mom made him come over for dinner.
So my advice is try to relax and don't worry about your bf. If he really loves you it will work out.
good luck and merry xmas.
ps please rate me! thanks
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How can you tell if a shy boy likes you? (link)
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In my experience, if a guy really likes you and is shy, he'll usually act like he DOESNT like you. I've had guys that were attracted to me act aloof and distant because they didnt want me to find out that they really liked me.
A good way to find out though is to stand really near to the guy that you suspect has a crush on you. Watch his body language. Does he act nervous and go red in the face? Try striking up a conversation with him and watch if he avoids any eye contact.
Another dead giveavay is: have you ever caught him staring at you when he thought you werent looking? And did he immediately look away when you caught him?
I hope this has helped. Please rate me!! Thanks and good luck!
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I have this science teacher okay and he is so darn mean I'm black and he's white everyday he tells me to take off my coat in his classroom because it's a policy but he's sitting there talkin to a white girl who had an a big fluffy azz coat zipped up and all but didn't say anything to her but this isn't about coats he also treats the black kids way worser than the white kids the way he treats the white kids on a scale of 1-2-10 I would say a 9.The way he treats the black kids on a scale of 1-2-10 is a
-1111111111111222222222222222222222222 if you know what I mean what should I do besides telling an adult becuz i've already tried but it doesn't work.
I only rate 5's so if you give me great advice that can be used everyday of my junior high school life then I'll rate u 5's. (link)
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I think from what you've written that this teacher of yours is a racist bigot. That is SOO unproffesional of this man!!! I can't believe that this is still going on in America in year 2005!!! This sounds like something that would have happened during the 60's.
If I were you, I would start a petition against this teacher. I knew a kid when I was in highschool that got over 200 signatures to try to get a teacher that everyone hated fired. It didnt work though because he had been teaching for over 30 years, and I guess if you've been teaching that long you CAN"T get fired. But I livve in Canada, so things might be different. Start your petition, and get all the black students to sign. I would also keep a journal and write down every racist thing this creep does. Make sure you date it and sign it. If that doesnt work, go to the principle or heck even the superintendint of the school district, whoever has the most power. Write a letter to the editor of the local paper, and start out by saying"Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King helped the blacks of this country to achieve there rights, yet there is still bigotry and intolerance at (whatever schools name) from a certain teacher.
Remember, just because you are young and inexperienced in life does NOT give that man the right to treat you any less better you are black.
Good luck
buzzie
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I have a uncle (48) who came to visit me(female 25). I was showing him around my condo and he would not enter my bedroom area. what does this mean. this confused me! Could you help me to understand why he did that? Thank You Gems (link)
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Well I can think of two possible reasons for your uncles behavior.
The first thing I thought of is that maybe he thought that by entering your bedroom he would be invading your privacy. I know when I have people over to my appartment, especially when they are guys, I don't like to invite them into my bedroom because I'm worried I might have a pair of panties laying on the floor.
The other thing I thought of is that maybe your uncle is secretly attracted to you, and was embarrassed to enter your bedroom because it might have given away that he had feelings for you. I hope this doesnt creep you out, but it's the only other thing that makes any sense. I have an uncle like that, he would get jealous when I talked about my bf. He never tried anything on me but I could always sense he was attracted to me.
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What are some really good scary movies that are out on dvd now?
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Hi, I just finished reading some of the other answers and they all seem to suggest the same movie titles.
I absolutley LOVE horror movies. Infact, I even have a wednesday night movie club that meets every week at my appartment. We always rent scary movies.
The most scary movie that I ever saw, (and no one has already recommended it) is called SUSPIRIA. It's an older movie, made in 1977. It's about an American student attending a European ballet school that turns out to be a witches coven. I thought it was absolutely terrifying.
Another really scary movie is called BLACK XMAS. It's also another older movie, starring Margot Kidder.
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