Member Since: May 3, 2011 Answers: 1053 Last Update: December 12, 2012 Visitors: 30799
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He never treats me like his girlfriend, he pretty much treats me like his sister. But its like he's a whole different person when he texts me. What should I do? (link)
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Some guys just aren't outwardly affectionate. It's one thing to write about how one may feel internally, but for some reason, and it is either due to either just the mere dint of his personal sensibility or the way he was raised, that outward affection, especially in public, isn't part of his personal aesthetic. It happens. Seven billion people on the planet and an equal number of different sensibilities.
So what you need to do is decide SPECIFICALLY what you want from him and talk to him in clear terms about it. Let him know you think he rocks and more overt affection would make you feel more valued and closer to him.
Just keep in mind that it you can't make a leopard change its spots. If he just isn't capable of giving you what you want then you have no other choice but to walk. It's not your fault. Sometimes partners find that, at the end of the day, they are incompatible. The value in having that relationship is what you learn from it rather than play the blame game. So relax and take this problem on rationally and see what materializes.
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F/16
I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 months now, we've been really good together but lately he's been acting a bit cold. He doesn't text me that often anymore, or when he does... It's always me texting and starting the conversation first, he's acting like he's not interested anymore. I will admit, I'm telling him what to do, well not necessarly telling him. But whenever he does something I don't like, whether it's hanging with girls or speaking to them etc, I tend to go moody and be really stressy. I have no idea what to do, I've tried to ask him if I've done anything wrong but he says I haven't and goes back to being cold. He's never affectionate towards me anymore, I never hear the words "I love you" unless it's me saying it and then he obviously says it back. I have no idea on what to do, I know you can't make someone stay when they want to leave but he's not said he doesn't want to be with me anymore, but that's how it feels. I don't want to lose him, I really don't, but I'll give it another month and I feel as though I will have lost him by then. Coming from a male themselves, and obviously a female, can you both give me your opinions on why he's gone cold and what I should do to over come this? I'd really appreciate it. (link)
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If you look at your question objectively, it shows that you're a pretty insecure individual.
Look, relationships are built on trust. By in effect accusing him of having something in mind that he may, in fact, not, you are issuing an undeserved slander on his character. How would you feel if he did the same thing to you?
Your insecurity here is also that you feel he is no longer as attentive to you as he once was. Well, if he feels like any communication with you will result in you somehow guilt tripping him, how would that NOT make him hesitant to keep dealing with you?
If you want to save this relationship, you will first apologize to him and say that you will trust him until you get some evidence that he is doing something wrong. Second, you will stop overthinking. Guys are linear, simple thinkers. Don't create crises out of thin air.
Both of you are in the exploratory phase of your life and that he might want to talk to other girls isn't a surprise. It does NOT mean he has one foot out the door or he will cheat on you. Indeed, he may be getting input from them on how to make his relationship with you better or seeing how they react to certain gambits so that he can then use them with you.
Finally, you have to deal with the natural fact that guys just are not as verbal as girls. That goes back to how guys are raised and bond with each other. Don't try to force him to be something he isn't. Moreover, after a couple of months, guys are feeling kind of talked out and relationships anyway start hitting that kind of middle phase where the initial heat kind of dies down and you are in a situation where you're comfortable with each other and guys don't feel the need or desire to act as hot for you as they did in the past. This will happen in all of your relationships. The way to deal with it is to just be glad he is in your life and you have somebody to love and, hopefully, he will feel the same way.
But as things stand right now, you're a pain in the butt. Relax! Keep things simple!
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my guy friend wants to have sex with me but i do not bcause we are friends and i dont anything bad to happen what can i do oh and we have made out alot help please!!!!!!!! (link)
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Well, you lead him on by making out with him. About all you can do is sit him down and clarify where your relationship is.
"Sweety, I'm just not ready for sex right now, so it isn't going to happen. I like making out with you and I like you as a friend, but that is all I'm really looking for right now." Short, clean, to the point and it leaves the ball in his court as to how he deals with it.
DO NOT get pressured into something you don't want or you will probably hate yourself. Stand up for yourself like a big girl, say what you want and don't accept anything different. And if he can't deal with it and starts avoiding you, well, he isn't going to be the only guy in your life who will want to get with you. So no need to put so much critical stock in this one dalliance/friendship.
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hi:) ive been txting and hanging out with this boy and i cant figure out where we are in our relationship nd ive asked him before and he just said lets hangout some more an well see but our relationship has gotten a lot deeper now and i really like him a lot and i dont know what to think. if anyone has any advice to give its greatly apprciated...thanks :) (link)
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Generally speaking (50% of the cases plus one), when a guy spends a lot of time on a girl it means he wants to get with her. Guys are very target/goal directed and so will spend time only on that target/goal to the exclusion of others (if other viable targets/goals exist).
But what can you learn from this?
1. You're learning what it is like to be in the "friend zone." It sucks, doesn't it? You are maybe feeling kinda strung along. So now you're learning that sucks and you want to give a guy who likes you an immediate clarification of the status of your relationship rather than just using him to make yourself feel good.
2. He may just be cautious and is taking his time to ensure that you really are for him.
3. He may not be ready for a real relationship yet and needs time to sort himself out about dealing with the opposite sex.
4. He could just be shy and a little nervous about how to proceed without turning you off. You can solve this just by making a move on him yourself. If he says he just wants to be friends, you will learn how guys feel when they get rejected, an experience that though painful, will further your understanding of how the sexes interact. If he accepts your overture, well, touchdown!
My advice: learn that being in the "friend zone" sucks and take my advice under number one above; two, relax, don't limit your interests to just the one guy and maybe if he sees you being courted by other guys it will provoke him to get off his butt and make some kind of overt move on you. Do not ask him a typically vague and emotionally loaded question like, "so where is this relationship going?" Be a big girl and tell him what you want and if he isn't into it you can move on.
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My car has pulled hard to the right for at least a 2 months but since I'm planning a big trip soon I want to solve this problem if I can without spending over 2-3 hundred bucks since the car is a 91. I even noticed the wheel shakes when I take my hands off it. Thank you (link)
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Often times this is due to bad tires. Cracks develop in the surface of the tire and the belt inside it starts breaking up.
Either that or there is a significant brake problem. Look at your tires and if they are worn replace them. A blowout at highway speeds can cause fatal accidents anyway. If the tire isn't the problem, have the front end, especially your brakes, checked.
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What happens if he asks me out but im not allowed to and when i tell him he cries? (link)
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Not enough information. But guys simply do not cry over this. Either he has some kind of anger issue (the crying is how he vents frustration), he personalizes it as a deeply wounding evaluation of him or he is just your garden variety pussified American male. Either way, I would regard the weeping as some kind of warning side and avoid him.
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I am 23 years old, but still living at home. I have been dating a guy for a few months that I absolutely adore. Only downfall is he has tattoos, not just a few but both arms completely covered (sleeves). I have no problem with this however my parents do. I haven't had him over to meet my parents simply because of that reason and they have already told me "he is not going to meet extended family, that's embarrassing to bring around them, he can't go on family vacations" etc... I am not asking them to accept or like the tattoos, that is their opinion. I'm just looking for some advice on how I can allow them to look beyond that and see them how i do, a respectful man who treats me right. Any advice please! (link)
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Guys get tattoos as a macho thing to attempt to buy into a bad boy mojo that they often don't possess. Moreover, tattoos often have a criminal association. For example, in Japan and Korea, up until the last few years, the only people who wore tats were organized crime figures. Even today, you cannot stay in many hotels in Japan if you have tattoos.
Tattoos also strike people as really ugly (I'm one of those; I won't date any woman who has them) and they just don't want that ugliness around them. If your parents don't want someone with tats in THEIR space (such as the home they are paying for), that is their right. Everything we do in life has consequences, both positive and negative and large and small, so your only resort is to accept how your parents feel and conduct your relationship with the guy away from your family. You made this choice and you have to deal with the consequence. That is part of being a mature adult. So relax, respect how your parents feel and enjoy what you have with your boyfriend in a venue other than your parents home.
This may also be an encouragement for you to find a way to move out and become an independent adult.
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Okay so im a 13yr Female and i have this guy friend that is almost my boyfriend. But he doesnt want a relationship this year wich im cool with. But he had called me up one day and he said "Hey you gotta stop sending me pics (we sext alot) and his mom goes or, and he says or we will have to go to your parents about this and he said that he loves me and all and that he had too go what should i do too get on their good side i mean his dad was realy mad an was about to cuss me out ut he held back what should I do I really love him and he loves me. (link)
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Unfortunately, when you sext with a minor, even if you're a minor yourself, is often considered child porn, which could land your boyfriend in some real dire legal hot water.
The teenage brain isn't well developed yet (the brain keeps on developing up through around age 25) to really grasp the consequences of one's actions. So in the future, keep your texts G rated and if anyone demands you go beyond that tell them to get lost.
In addition, 13 year olds should not be getting into exclusive relationships because you are not only still in the exploratory phase of your life, but the lack of maturity, knowledge of how the opposite sex operates and the myriad insecurities that being an adolescent are imbued with almost guarantee that relationships at such young ages will only lead to heartache or other negative consequences.
So my advice to you is to not look to get tied down, relax, look at this phase of your life one in which you want to observe and talk to people and learn what you can and thereby develop a firm foundation for developing solid partnerships later in your development. Put off sex until at least college so that you will ensure that you are making more well considered decision in your choice of partners because you will just know more about life and how guys think and function. Good luck.
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hi.
i am in deep trouble, i feel. i have been masturbating for the last couple of years since i was 11 and now i will be 17 in june 2013. i have masturbated almost everyday, twice a day . i have many problems now. such as mental problems. im losing my hair, my memory my concentration. i feel very week. ever bad symptom i have read about over do of masturbation . i have them all. ever single one . back pain and others as well. im trying to find all over the internet if all this is reversible. and if it means i have to stop masturbating and not have sex ever. then it fine by me. i cant study i cant do anything. please help. just reassure me that it is possible to get back on track . to become new as if i never masturbated before. plz plz help. (link)
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This is a troll.
First, masturbating has no negative physical effects on the body other than very localized ones (for example, soreness of the penis if done two vigorously or too frequently over the course of a day or desensitization through bouts of prolonged daily frequent masturbation).
The religious community has demonized masturbation and has used a lot of bs scare tactics to justify their prohibition of it.
Moreover, masturbating twice a day during adolescence is normal. So that's why I don't find this query credible or sincere.
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Hi! So I'm at a young age (11-13.. Hint hint). And I hate my body so i've been wanting to get anorexic, but I decided that wasn't a good idea. So I decided I should get into excersizing.
I did a little research and there are excersize routines that makes you get muscle (which makes you look heavier) and I don't want that. I just want to lose weight.
What are some excersize routines to make me lose weight and not gain muscle?
(Telling me to not worry won't do anything.. I'm now teaumatized. Just please help :(. ) (link)
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First, girls will not put on muscle like guys do. You don't have enough testosterone in your body for that. Exercise will tone your body and make you look healthy, which is super attractive to guys. The best exercise is swimming because it uses every muscle in the body and it will give your body shape a very nice taper plus it is great for your aerobic health and burns boatloads of calories if, say, you swim a mile or two at a time.
You also have to remember that women are also genetically determined to retain a certain amount of fat. It's what makes you soft to the touch of a man and helps gives you boobs and a butt.
Finally, at your age, your body is just beginning to develop. Everything will fall into place where it should and 1-2 hours a day of exercise will aid that.
So don't pick at yourself unnecessarily. You'll be fine.
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ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year . and he is really jealous . he deleted all my guy contacts , he made me unfollow all my guy friends , and he deleted all m guy friends off of facebook. he takes me phone away when im infront of my friends . i really do ove him . but i just cant dont what to do ! we have talked about it , he says he cant trust me cause i lied to him Once ! What do i do ? (link)
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Dude has major insecurity. Your cellphone belongs to you, not him. Tell him to hit the road. He sounds like a possible abuser.
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How do I get this one girl to let me touch her butt at school out side and we are both eleven she has a good butt
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In most schools these days that would get you suspended or expelled for sexual harassment. Leave it alone, dude! Her body is hers, not yours!
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18/F
There is a boy I went to school with that I have had a crush on for awhile now so we finally started texting about 4 months ago, and we Finally hungout one day. We went to this beach and smoked and had a really good time, it seemed like we had lots of chemistry. We kissed at the end of the night. The problem is that he is always busy. He goes to college and has a job and puts his friends before everything so he never has time to hangout or even talk. I text him first probably 90% of the time. So we hungout again about a month ago and we ended up having sex. That was a month ago and we haven't talked since. I haven't texted him and he hasn't texted me.
So basically i'm thinking he used me? He just wanted to have sex? When we hungout it really seemed like we had a connection and he liked me but am I wrong, should I just give up?
I really liked him though. (link)
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He used you. It's just a plain natural fact. For him, you're just a creature of convenience. So the only way to shut that down is to not see him again and look at this as a learning experience.
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I have known my fiancé for about 4 years now, in that time he has become my other half, my light, love, and joy. Sadly he had to move away due to work and it has become harder and harder to even talk. I feel torn apart because I miss him so much and it doesn't feel like it used to anymore, dating and all. I trust him, and know he would never cheat. I'm not worried about that. I'm scared of the loneliness I feel every night without him. I don't think about other men, just him. But it tears my heart apart knowing I can't reach him as easily as before. I know I would rather be lonely then not have him at all but I also feel caged. What can I do to get over this sadness? I feel like I've been trying to avoid it but now it's bubbling up... (link)
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The only salve you can really apply to that situation is making plans to enable you to join him. Time will pass and you'll be together again. At least he isn't in the military. Imagine THAT! But it does suck royally to be apart from the person you love. But don't overthink it.
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I am the second born in my family and sometimes, I feel like everyone's more important than I am, especially my older brother. People call me by his name, ask about him more than the rest of us, and always remember stories that are actually about one of the rest of us as being about him. My parents say that they don't have a favorite child and they swear that my older brother's not the most special just because he's the oldest. My mom even wrote an essay for a class about what made us all equally special to her and I've always believed it, but lately people have been telling me that first borns are always the special ones and the ones that would be the hardest to lose. I researched it on the internet and a ton of people said that parents would rather have one of their younger kids die than their first born. I decided to try to find out, so Tuesday night, I disappeared and my parents couldn't find me until Thursday morning. My mom found me first and after she was done hugging me, she was angrier than I've ever seen her and yelled at me the whole way home. When we got home, my dad (the harder parent) was even more mad. They said they hadn't slept, eaten, or done anything else since I left and they even had to call the police for help. Neither of them have calmed down about it and when I asked them if that was as bad as if they couldn't find my oldest brother, it just mad them more mad that that was my reason for doing what I did and that I believed strangers over them. Could I really have scared them as bad as my oldest brother could? Does it sound like they have a favorite child? (link)
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You're overthinking this.
Listen, there are people who have it a lot worse in life than you do. So worry about the competitive aspect of your relationship with your siblings is not just counterproductive, but you';re unnecessarily torturing yourself. Be grateful for what you have and just let the chips fall where they may. I'm sure your mom loves you just fine and I get the impression that she's hardly neglected you. So relax. Everything's cool!
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I need you guys to help me.I have a boyfriend who I love very much;he's my baby and the reason I'm happy everyday. Then,why do I feel attracted to other men as well?Since me and my boyfriend have very good sex.Last week,I was at my best friend's house and when he approached me to hug me,I felt sexually aroused when he pressed his body against mine:( This isn't correct.I know it,but I just don't know how to make it stop.Help?Thanks!! (link)
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It's natural. Don't worry about it. All you have to do is just take the arousal you felt due to the other guy and let your boyfriend benefit by it. I'm sure he experiences the same thing. It's just a facet of life and, like anything else, you gotta manage it wisely.
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I'm 13 about a month ago I saw little red dots in my underwear and now I see them again I don't want to tell my mom unless it's my period?? Help?????
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ANYTHING like that you have questions about you take to your mom, okay? You're not doing anything bad. So there is no reason to not ask mom about it.
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Hi I'm 21 and people say they can smell my bad breath. Even when I'm done brushing my teeth with Colgate toothpaste and listerine someone says its still smells bad. How can I cure this because this is seriously EMBARASSING. Thanks for the help! (link)
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Typically, in cases like this there is a dental problem somewhere. See your dentist. Also, get tested for diabetes if there is no dental remedy for the problem. Bad breath is often a symptom of that, too.
http://healthyliving.msn.com/health-wellness/oral-care/bad-breath-5-causes-and-5-cures-1
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How do I get a girl with me I have been rejected like three times and I'm 11 (link)
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Dude, the first time she says no you walk away. Otherwise, you look like a needy, stalkerish weenie who no girl will ever take seriously.
Look, man, sometimes you can't have what you want. That's just life. You need to learn to cope with that. AND YOU'RE ONLY 11, for crying out loud! Don't be in such a hurry to get tied down. You're too bloody young!
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The guy I've been talking to told me he was between like and love with me. I'm not really sure what this means. Advice? (link)
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It's mealy mouthed horsecrap. It basically means he would do you if he got the opportunity, but he isn't interested in a relationship with you. What he said is so douchebaggy I can't believe it didn't make you want to puke.
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