ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year . and he is really jealous . he deleted all my guy contacts , he made me unfollow all my guy friends , and he deleted all m guy friends off of facebook. he takes me phone away when im infront of my friends . i really do ove him . but i just cant dont what to do ! we have talked about it , he says he cant trust me cause i lied to him Once ! What do i do ?
LiseJose answered Tuesday October 16 2012, 8:48 am: Try to understand him more, study him, see what ticks him off, and do the opposite. this worked for me when i was in your situation. relationships can change for the better, as you learn more about him, you'll slowly learn how to gain his trust. show him your all his make sure he knows you love him and only him. i honestly think he's over protective, but it could be an emotional problem maybe he's insecure and has had previous relationship problems, and now with you maybe he doesn't want things from his past to repeat itself because he cares for you. Greatest thing for you to do is to show him he can trust you, this will be hard. for me this was the hardest times of my life i cried so many times because i would try so hard to get him to trust me but, it didn't seem to work everytime.
sometimes seperation helps, not like taking a break or anything but like a school trip or a vacation. this helped me although during my trip i had never cried so much in my life, because his trust sunk so low he almost dumped me, but the thought of not seeing me so long and then finally seeing me again changed his trust for me a little.
honestly find ways and try, don't give up. its gonna be hard but if you truly love him you gotta keep going. what i did to finally gain his trust was understanding what he liked to hear and what he didn't, then i told myself what would he say. because most of the time a human will interpret something the way they would say it. so after that i would decide to say it or not. i really changed the way i spoke and said things only if they needed to be said.
but understand that all relationships are different and the ways to fix it are as well. you'll find a way. not to scare you or anything but it took me 4 years to get him to trust me enough for us to be in a normal loving relationship. but you only lied to him, i was talking to another guy, but i never met him. if what you lied to him about isn't that bad then maybe you'll be able to gain his trust must faster than i did.
SabrinaNaddie answered Sunday October 14 2012, 12:48 pm: Maybe , to him , you are his only one and he can't risk losing you at all but he still needs to remember that nobody is perfect . You lied to him once , you know that but that is history , a real history that no one can change . He can't judge you by looking at your past , that is unfair because people can change to be better anytime especially you , the one who's loving him . The thing is , he is not your husband yet so he still has his boundaries . He needs to remember that ! Love equals real trust and just ask him to give you a second chance ? You do deserve it right ? But don't do the same mistake again and please remember that real trust is not easy to be gained twice unless you try your best and sincerely , but not over-ly . If he keeps on deleting every of your guy friends , then tell him to stop . Jealousy has its limits . If it exceeds its limits , then the bad part from the heart will start to do the unthinkable , because it comes from anger . Anger brings nothing . It only brings pain and pressure , not pleasure . Let him know that he can trust you this time but no matter what , if you love someone , love him sincerely but not too much because that too much can also hurt you so much unless he's the real one for you . Just be nice to everyone :)) [ SabrinaNaddie's advice column | Ask SabrinaNaddie A Question ]
Trauma answered Sunday October 14 2012, 1:01 am: Since I don't know what you lied to your boyfriend about before, I can't really say whether or not I think your boyfriend's jealousy is unfounded. I will say that what he is doing is not okay. Without trust, most relationships are doomed. Throw in him trying to isolate you from everyone of the opposite sex and you've got a recipe for disaster. Either talk to him about what's causing so much jealousy and tell him that you are not okay with what he's doing, or leave him now. Even if you did lie to him, people make mistakes, and he really doesn't have any right to stop you from having friends. [ Trauma's advice column | Ask Trauma A Question ]
MDT answered Saturday October 13 2012, 8:12 pm: Well what you should do is tell him that ''if this continues then were gonna break-up because i can't be in an mistrustful relationship with you i believe that we need to work this out before we break up'' and tell him that you love him but you just can't take it anymore. and if he cant do that for you then he doesn't love you back.. [ MDT's advice column | Ask MDT A Question ]
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