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Tattooed boyfriend Vs. Parents
I am 23 years old, but still living at home. I have been dating a guy for a few months that I absolutely adore. Only downfall is he has tattoos, not just a few but both arms completely covered (sleeves). I have no problem with this however my parents do. I haven't had him over to meet my parents simply because of that reason and they have already told me "he is not going to meet extended family, that's embarrassing to bring around them, he can't go on family vacations" etc... I am not asking them to accept or like the tattoos, that is their opinion. I'm just looking for some advice on how I can allow them to look beyond that and see them how i do, a respectful man who treats me right. Any advice please!
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I agree with samanthaXstone tattoos don't mean you are a criminal or a bad influence there's cops and all with tattoos theses days things are different now your parents need to get out of the old school ways and see how thing have changed . Things that were considered inappropriate then may not be now ,they need to just except the fact that this is who you are happy with and get to know the guy not just judge a book by its cover . I am sure they would hate to be judged them selves .
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Guys get tattoos as a macho thing to attempt to buy into a bad boy mojo that they often don't possess. Moreover, tattoos often have a criminal association. For example, in Japan and Korea, up until the last few years, the only people who wore tats were organized crime figures. Even today, you cannot stay in many hotels in Japan if you have tattoos.
Tattoos also strike people as really ugly (I'm one of those; I won't date any woman who has them) and they just don't want that ugliness around them. If your parents don't want someone with tats in THEIR space (such as the home they are paying for), that is their right. Everything we do in life has consequences, both positive and negative and large and small, so your only resort is to accept how your parents feel and conduct your relationship with the guy away from your family. You made this choice and you have to deal with the consequence. That is part of being a mature adult. So relax, respect how your parents feel and enjoy what you have with your boyfriend in a venue other than your parents home.
This may also be an encouragement for you to find a way to move out and become an independent adult.
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Tell your parents that just because he has tattoos doesn't mean he's a bad person.
That's like judging a book by it's cover - and that isn't right at all. They should be happy for you! They should be happy that you found a guy that you really like. And all they're doing is putting you down.
If I were you, I'd sit down and have a talk with them. Tell them all the stuff I told you!
Good luck :)
Bella xoxo
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Tell them to stop being rude.
Seriously. It's very simple. This is someone you want in your life - possibly for quite a long time. Do they really not want to know him?
He made different choices than they would when it comes to tattoos. Are they going to reject everyone who makes choices they don't like? Will they reject you? Or your children someday, if you make choices for your life or family they don't like?
You are right - no one I asking them to like okay. You are asking them to be respectful of others, and of you, thier daughter, and not reject people based on surface differences.
The best way you can get thier respect (because its not just him they are disrespecting - its you and your ability to choose) is not to politely ask for it, it's to stand up and demand it.
Tell them they are behaving badly and causing you unhappiness. Tell them they need to find new ways of dealing with thier dislike of tattoos, because this way is not okay.
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You need to show your family how much he cares about you...how well he treats you and that he's a good man for you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and believe me, your parents are probably well aware, whether they want to admit it or not, that in the end you're going to be with whom ever you chose whether they approve of it or not.
Still though, they love and take care of you, it's probably not right to openly disrespect them. They mean well, they're just not giving him a chance. Give your parents a chance and ask them to do the same. Be tactfully frank with them but also let them know how much you value their love and care.
If things still aren't smooth after awhile, just remember that MOST parents, irregardless, just want their children to be happy.
Hope I helped!
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I think you should tell them that if they truly love you they would respect your choices and give him a chance. Once they see he's a nice guy they might accept him. If they truly respect you and love you they will most likely try to give this guy a chance. It's a long shot, but it's better than not doing anything at all and let a great guy pass by like that. Have faith and they will see your happy.
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