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Parents and dating???
Hi, ok so im 20 and female and have always been a little... odd. my first bf i broke up with a couple months ago but im over it and feel im ready to date again. im currently in university but.. as it turns out there is a very large glbt population here and most of the guys who are cute and nice to me turn out to be gay or turn around and say "im not ready for a relationship blah blah blah". i will soon be asking my doctor for a referral to a psychologist as i think i may have mild aspergers but that is a whole other story. i would like to try online dating but im very close to my family and my parents are always in the loop about what im doing, where i am, who im chillin with, etc. people might say im to old for that and should be more independent but it makes me feel more secure if they know. ANYWAYS i would like to try online dating but am not sure how to breach the topic with my family, i have just recently discussed with them going to see a psychologist and get assesed and that was kind of a big bomb. i dont want join a site, meet someone amazing and then tell my parents, "so i have a new boyfriend. oh where di u meet him? Online. :P they would flip but if the knew i was dating online they might be a little more open and supportive.
so...
1. should i bring this up with them?
2. if yes, how?
3. any insight or advice is greatly appreciated.
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Hey there.
Yes, I think you should go ahead and try online dating! There's always the Dateline specials about all the reasons you shouldn't do it, but if you're smart about it (and convince your parents that you're going to be smart about it) then it's just as safe as meeting a stranger in a coffee shop. (Which is to say, they both have their inherent risks). I would suggest OkCupid. A friend of mine made me a profile on the site and I've had a good experience with it so far, and as a bonus, it's free!
So first things first: DON'T put personal identifying information like your real name, your phone number, email address, etc. on sites like this. Don't even give them out to a guy you've been messaging for a while. Wait it out until you've met a person at least a few times and you're fairly sure they're not a creep. Oh, and you'll probably get a bunch of creepy messages on any online dating site, but you can just delete them.
Second, whenever you meet someone for the first time, make sure you have your own transportation to and from, make sure it's in a public place during the daytime, and that you also have a good friend hiding discreetly wherever you're meeting the person. In case there's trouble or it just goes really badly, you've got someone there.
Okay, on to your actual question.
(1) Yes, you should tell your parents. Of course, you could always dodge the "where did you meet them?" question by saying "a coffee shop" or wherever your first actual date was. But I'm close with my parents too, and I think it's only natural to seek their approval and support.
(2) Easy. Make yourself a profile online, then call them and give them the link. You can discuss how you've taken all the safety precautions, and that you're going into it with eyes wide open and you're not going to meet every guy who messages you. If the bar thing isn't really your scene (bonus points from parents!) then you can tell them how difficult it is to meet people when you don't go partying, and that you're tired of getting rejected by gay guys. =) You're expanding your options and the profile lets you get to know people a little bit better before just striking up a conversation with them.
I think as long as you're honest and your parents know you're being smart about it, they should be supportive.
Hope this helps, feel free to message me if you need any other advice!
~Pollux
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