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Do My Parents Have a Favorite Child?
I am the second born in my family and sometimes, I feel like everyone's more important than I am, especially my older brother. People call me by his name, ask about him more than the rest of us, and always remember stories that are actually about one of the rest of us as being about him. My parents say that they don't have a favorite child and they swear that my older brother's not the most special just because he's the oldest. My mom even wrote an essay for a class about what made us all equally special to her and I've always believed it, but lately people have been telling me that first borns are always the special ones and the ones that would be the hardest to lose. I researched it on the internet and a ton of people said that parents would rather have one of their younger kids die than their first born. I decided to try to find out, so Tuesday night, I disappeared and my parents couldn't find me until Thursday morning. My mom found me first and after she was done hugging me, she was angrier than I've ever seen her and yelled at me the whole way home. When we got home, my dad (the harder parent) was even more mad. They said they hadn't slept, eaten, or done anything else since I left and they even had to call the police for help. Neither of them have calmed down about it and when I asked them if that was as bad as if they couldn't find my oldest brother, it just mad them more mad that that was my reason for doing what I did and that I believed strangers over them. Could I really have scared them as bad as my oldest brother could? Does it sound like they have a favorite child?
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You're overthinking this.
Listen, there are people who have it a lot worse in life than you do. So worry about the competitive aspect of your relationship with your siblings is not just counterproductive, but you';re unnecessarily torturing yourself. Be grateful for what you have and just let the chips fall where they may. I'm sure your mom loves you just fine and I get the impression that she's hardly neglected you. So relax. Everything's cool!
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I have heard this before. I don't believe parents actually favor one child over another. Loosing any child is hard on a parent as this is not the way life is suppose to be. A parent is never suppose to bury a child.
While I suppose there are parents that might favor one child over another I do not believe that favoring and loving are synonymous. A parent might favor one child athletic ability over the other children's abilities and still love each child equally.
To answer you question: Yes you did scare your parents as much as your brother could. This was a very horrible test of their love that you put them through. It was extremely selfish of you to do so. Something you need to apologize for. You have very loving parents. While it is possible they favor something your older brother does or is accomplished at. They love you both equally. This is what is important.
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You are behaving badly. You've been selfish, irrational and downright cruel.
Stop it.
I have many siblings. Our parents love us all. We're adults now and I KNOW there are days when they like some of us more or less. There are days when some of us are less nice, or friendly people to them. There are days when each of us scare them, or neglect them. There are days when some of us are particularly awesome. When we achieve something great or do something cool. And on those days, our parents probably think more about the one kid who just did something awesome, then the others who just went about their daily lives.
And that's 'cause we are people - individuals. And parents are also people. So sometimes your parents may LIKE one of your siblings more than you.
And that's okay. They are allowed too. You are allowed to like one of them more than the other sometimes too. You are allowed to prefer your younger sibling to your elder as well. You still love them all, but you can be honest with yourself about who you get on with better.
Frankly - your parents probably didn't LIKE you very much when you deliberately and selfishly TORTURED and TERRIFIED them by disapearing. They are probably pissed the hell off - and they had a right to be. I don't have the words to express how unkind that was to do to your family.
Yes. You sacred them as much your brother could have. What's worse: You did it on purpose.
On any given day your parents might have children they have more in common with as people. They might have children who are more respectful and kind to them then others. They might have children that are easier to get along with than others.
But they love all their children. They love their children even when there children do stupid, selfish and horrible things to test their love.
Stop it with the stupid internet research. The internet will tell you that Big Foot is real and that there were WMD in Afghanistan - Neither of which are the least bit true. Your parents love you, but you if want them to also like you and have a real relationship with them, start interacting with your parents as the real people you all are.
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I think you need to ask them for yourself. You need to go up to them on A GOOD DAY and ask them straight up if they have a favorite child. Stop assuming, no matter how "obvious" the situation may be. I used to think the same thing about my mother, because everyone seems to like my brother better just because he's older. Turns out, I wasn't displaying my love as openly as my mom likes to (I wansn't very affectionate) and in family meetings, i didn't really talk much for fear that the conversation would turn back to him. This made my family ignore me, because I was ignoring THEM. But i see where i went wrong after i talked to my mom about it and now, everything is way better. Do you get my point? Maybe, during all of this, that is what you think because you have a biased opinion. Maybe you're being bitter to them (unconsciously of course) and they're just responding to it. I think you should also ask your brother if he thinks they give him too much attention.
So, my advice is to ask them. And whether you take my advice or not, I'm glad I said this because at least now you have an idea of what may be happening.
Good luck sweetie I hope I helped :)
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