askTHOSEGirls
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: i got my belly button peirced 6 weeks ago, but it is still kinda red at the top hole. what should i do to make it not red anymore. plus, how do i know if i can change the ring yet. like how do i know if it's healed?
Ok, you should put some peroxide on it and let it kill the infection. Don't change your ring until the reddness goes away.

Q: my pup is 7 months old so he is a BIG BABY! but i was wondering what is the best way so that i can control him when:

-he walks
-when he is being potty trained

HELP! thanx
The most important thing is to be consistent and punish him when he misbehaves and reward him when he behaves correctly.

Q: I love my boyfriend but lately he has been acting so possessive! He doesn't want me to hang out with my friends (though it fine for him to hang out with his). He doesn't even want me talk to them on the phone when I happen to be around him. He is starting to give me the creeps. Any advice?
Dump him.

Q: I broke up with my boyfriend because he was slacking off on his school work and getting in trouble. But other than those things, I still really like him. I can't get over him! Today we hung out and had a lot of fun. I think want him back but I'm scared to ask. And what about the reason I broke up with him in the 1st place? Has anyone got any ideas on what I should do?
I think that breaking up with him for those reasons was a really mature, responsible thing to do, and you should stick with that desicion. Even if you still like him in some ways, you should be with someone who you can respect.
S

Q: ok well im a little overweight and when i wear tight shirts you can see my stomach ... so my question is, is there ANYTHING i can do to temporaraly make your stomach flatter. i thought of duck tape but that would hurt like a mother but i want to wear a cute outfit tomorrow but it is pretty tight on me. but i am going to work out every day after school and tonight so PLEASEEE answer ASAP!!!! thank you in advance and i will rate 5s to almost anyone :) but i need your help cause even my mom calls me fat
:(

chubby lil me

pS i asked this before and you deleted it but please dont this time i really need some answers and this is not a joke question
If it's just one or two outfits that make you feel a little insecure about your stomach, you could just wear control top panty hose underneath. Really though, it would probably be better to just try to find clothes that make you feel good about how you look. Just because you're not a stick figure doesn't mean you can't look cute. Just find stuff you like, wear it, and don't worry about other people. That's easier said than done, I know, but much better than duct tape!
S

Q: Yesterday I saw my friend smoking, so today I hoped to stop her from getting addicted or doing it again. I asked her if she tried smoking yesterday (rumours were going round she had too) and she acted as if it was a joke, said no and kept trying to change the conversation. I know she has told other friends. However, she does know I am strongly against smoking and she has in the past told me that she was too. How will I get her to terms with what she has done and stop her from ever doing it again? She seems to ruin her life at any opportunity- in the past she has been a cutter, anorexic and bullimic. Please help!
If she really just tried it that once, she's not likely to be addicted. She may be lying to you about it just because she's embarrassed that she did it at all. I would just keep an eye on her because, if that's the case, she probably won't do it again. In the end, you really can't keep her from doing something - she'll have to do it for herself - unless you want to try bringing her parents into it.
S

Q: I'm 17 yrs old and me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 months and i love her alot. i've been pouring out my feelings to her, tellin her how much i love her n everything, but i dont feel like she feels the same way.. what do i do? i dont wanna dump her cuz i love her alot..
Unfortunately, you can't make someone love you and you can't love her enough for the both of you. If she doesn't reciprocate your feelings, the only good solution is to try to move on.
S

If she's not saying it, then there's a reason. Cut your losses and move on.
J

Q: okay my best friend has this guy friend and i like him and she likes him...err i really dont kno what to do...i mean i dont think she will get mad at me if i asked him out...even though deep down inside i think that she will...what should i do should i ask him out or should i not...im so confused.
Never put a guy before your best friend. Guys come and go.

J

Q: I think I have a problem with sleeping, for about 4 months now, I can't get to sleep until about 2-3am, even on school nights. I'm always tired in the day at school, and I find it difficult to concentrate in lessons because I keep wishing the time would go faster so I can go home to bed. Because after school, when I get home, I go to bed at about 4pm and then wake up to do my homework at 8pm. I'm wide awake after then so I can't sleep until 3am. I've tried staying awake after school, but I was still wide awake until 3am. I can't keep not sleeping after school because I'm too tired to do homework when I get home, and if I don't do my homework I'll get loads of detentions. My mum thinks I should go to the doctors, but I'm refusing, because I'm terrified that they'll do a blood test on me, the thought makes me feel sick. How can I get into a normal sleeping pattern without going to the doctors, and if I have to go to the doc's, am I allowed to refuse to have a blood test? Thanks =]
Don't take naps when you get home from school. Do some exercise instead. You'll find it helps you to rest much better.

J

Q: Okay! I am trying to lose weight.I am about 5'6 and between 128-130 lbs it varys.I am not fat at all, all my friends think Im skinny but I have curves.Like just a lil bit of love handles on my sides. But people tell me its good to have curves so that I am not as skinny as an ironing board.I have always had weight issues in the past but I used to be way smaller.I want to get down to atlest 115-120. How can I do it? I dont eat junk food or even drink alot of soda.I drink maybe 1 soda a week at the most. What are good diet foods. Today I ate a potato at skool, because our lunch has potato bar and I put like a half a spoon of cheese on it. Is that too fattie to eat. Please help me. It makes me sick the way I look, Sometimes I break down and cry over it.It makes me very depressed!I rate 5's.

*samantha
Try to do some exercise that targets the love handle area. Do some situps with the left arm touching the right knee and the right arm touching the left knee. Don't cut out food. If you stop eating for an entire day, then your body will start harboring food when you do eat, which will make you gain weight. J

Q: I am a 16 year old female. Well i have been with my boyfriend for 3 months and at first everything was fine I was happy. Now its like everytime he talks or even if he just looks at me i get annoyed. I don't know what to do. I care about him a lot but i don't know why im so unhappy with him. Maybe its not him maybe im just trippin. sometimes i really want to be with him and sometimes its like why am i with him. I want to know should i break up with him or not. im not sure i really do care about him and all my friends think i should stay with him. but i want to know what you think. Please help. what should i do
Usually, if you have to ask, you should dump him.
S

Q: There aer these two girls in my year, lets call then Kate and Tara. Anyway, they have always been pretty slutty and worn loads of make-up and stuff, so I've never really liked them. But now for the school talent show they are doing pole dancing. Pole dancing! Parents and even grandparents are coming to the show! It really annoys me how they think everyone WANTS to see them writhe about on stage in next-to-nothing, and I am soo angry about it. Do they have absolutely no dignity?
Anyway, I guess my question is this; do I say somethin to them about it (remember, these girls are have lots of 'friends' and won't say no to a fight) or do I just simmer in silence?
I would talk to whoever is in charge of the talent show. If these girls offend everyone's parents, the school might have to stop letting you do this kind of thing. You don't want two people to ruin it for everyone.

Q: ok well i have alot of sinuses these days and when ever i blow my nose lots of blood comes out! my nose bled 4 times in one day! Is it normal?
Most of the time, that means you have a sinus infection and you need to go to the doctor for antibiotics.
S

Q: Hey,
I am 22 and a counsellor. I hang around in a group of three friends (not including me) and one of our friends, Emma, is constantly complaining. She always thinks that she is depressed but I know for a fact that she isn't; I deal with depressed people every day and she is NOT one of them. She thinks that just because she has a lot of things to complain about (her workload, bad love life, etc) then she is depressed. She never stops complaining and is obsessed with finding her 'Mr Right' (her last boyfriend dumped her because she was 'too clingy') and NEVER ever shuts up about it. It's gotten to the stage where I - and my other two friends - are so damn fed up of it that we are ready to explode on her any day now. We don't want an arguement but obvious rifts are being created between my other two friends and me and Emma. One of my other friends, Jen, is seriously ill and constantly in and out of hospital, yet Emma thinks HER life is so much worse, just because she can't get a boyfriend. How do we open her eyes to what's going on and how annoying she is being? She's even starting saying things like 'I want to go to sleep and never wake up, but I don't like taking tablets so I couldn't'. It's f*cking ridiculous and we are all so fed up of it...
Sorry this was long guys. Please don't just say 'tell her she is annoying' - we've tried (only nicer) and she gets so offended. It's not that simple and we don't want to argue.
x Alannah x
You could try making her see reason by pointing out what you did here: That your other friend is really ill and still has a better attitude. If that doesn't work, you could try offering to get her into a counciling program (if something like that's available) or take her to a psychologist. She probably won't want to go, but calling her bluff might make her tone it down.
S

Q: 17/f
Hey
My bf of two months (I knew him for a year before that though) and my best friend of 5 years, just don't get on. They are always arguing and, to be fair, it is him who always starts the arguements. They have always been like this but it's gotten far worse recently and it's coming to the point where I have to chose between my friend and boyfriend. My friend wins, hands down, but how do I tell my boyfriend that?
Ta muchly!
Jena xxxxx
I say just be up front about it. Tell him that if he makes you choose, he will not be the one chosen.

Q: How do you write a poetry essay? My title is 'compare the way the poets use the idea of time passing and it's effects in each of the poems'. I'm writing stuff about how the rhyme scheme in one creates the idea of time passing quickly and in the other how the rhyme sceme makes it sound like time is passing slowly because you have to read it slowly...and then stuff like, 'this poem is about...blah' and 'this other poem is about...blah'...but I'm not sure I'm doing it right...none of my points seem to relate to my title. Any pointers?? I'm not asking you to do this for me, just give me some hints on how to write a decent poetry essay (i.e. what to include?). Thanks loads!!
Since the assignment says "compare" you also need to make sure you look at how similar writing devices or tricks (so to speak) are used in each one. You'll want to say "In poem #1 the author....Poem #2 is similar/different because this author...."

Q: i asked my friend if he was goin to the school dance and he he said because he had no one to go with i really like him should i ask him to go with me ? or maybe wait to see if he asks me to the dance ? and what should i wear ?
It sounds like he was hinting for you to ask him. So go for it. Good luck!
S

Q: Ever since I was 13 years old, my cousin has been going out with this girl who has always been the same age as me. Also ever since I've never ever liked her that much. I know my cousin loves this girl and all but I dunno what to do about how I feel about her. Most other family members I have know I don't like her but then I dunno what to do anyway. Any suggestions? I'd like to have more prospectives with this situation.
signed,
Lost
It's not your decision, nor your families, to make as far as who your cousin dates. He obviously likes her for a reason and he probably knows her better than you and his family. Get over it.

J

Q: Every time I use a tampon it leaks. What am I doing wrong? And what specific brand is best?
Try using a higher absorbancy level. I recommend Tampax.

Q: I am a 17/m and i really like this girl. I have a plan to ask her out. The only problem is that it involves two weeks and Valentines day. The plan is to leave notes in her locker with no name just ending it the same way. Should i go for the two week plan or should i just ask her?
Just ask her out. You can come up with something different for Valentines Day if you are still into each other then.

J

I have to agree. Your plan sounds really sweet, but it will be pretty disappointing if she's not interested after all that. Just be direct.

S

bio
THOSEGirls
We are two twenty-somethings with plenty of advice and opinions to spare. Really, we have something to say about almost anything: love, money, clothes, cars, life in general. So, ask away and be prepared for us to do a little something we like to call breakin' it down for you.

Info
Gender:
Female

Age:
26

Member Since:
January 28, 2005

Answers:
81

Last Update:
August 5, 2012

Visitors:
7646

Main Categories:







layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop

eXTReMe Tracker