BLONDShorty's advice column

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Q: I like staying up till around two in the morning and then on my own I wake up around 10 on weekends. On weekdays I go to bed at 11 and wake up around 6 am. However im exhausted most of the day and have low energy. What can I do so that I can go to bed late and wake up early and have plenty of energy? Also tea and coffee barely have an effect on me. I can drink cups of them and still fall asleep right after. I'm not very active I'm always laying down and I try getting up to dance around and be active but it doesnt last very long and then I just go back to laying down. So I dont really have any energy to do that either. So please help me! Thanks bye 15/f

what helps me out a lot is taking a b12 vitamin. it's the only thing thats helped me

Q: Let me just start out by saying, I am a firm believer in God. He is my life, and I love him so much. :D But, you see, I was raised in a Christian household. I grew up being told that Jesus was my savior, and God was my Father. I never questioned anything. Until now. I am known amongst my friends as the religious one, the one they know to NEVER offer a drink or cigarette to. Ever. ;D I have strong ideals of what is right and wrong, and a strong conscience, of which I believe to be God guiding me. So being known as that person, my friend not long ago once came to me with a dilemma, asking me all these questions about Jesus, God, etc. I had not the slightest clue of how to answer. All my faith in Him wasn't born, it was always there. I hadn't been convinced of his presence. There was never any question. So therefore, I have no facts or anything. No shield against the questions of curious people! I only have/need love, and feelings of His presence to convince me. You can't really debate with feelings, lol. Anyway, I've recently realized; All these years of just assuming and stuff, and only dealing with God, I have no idea what the Holy Spirit is! I also have no relationship with Jesus. Which has made me realize: I'm a lukewarm. I'm a poser. I've gone through my life believing I was a true christian, and now it's sorta hit me like a ton of bricks. So after all those words, here's my question: How are all three really connected? Are Jesus and God the same thing? But, why did Jesus refer to God as "The Father" if he WAS God? If they're all the same thing, what's the point of having three different things? I'm so confused. I pray to God like he's my best friend, and my dad. We're pretty tight. But when it comes to Jesus... I don't understand! When I pray to God, am I praying to Jesus too? But the Bible says if I don't know Jesus, I might as well not know God. So according to the Bible, it doesn't matter that I trust and believe in God as much as I do if I don't have a relationship with Jesus? I mean I know Christ is the only way but... UGH. -Face/palm- I've looked it up on Google, The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit thing? But I've only gotten either huge, complicated answers, or useless historical answers. I've prayed to God about it, and I think Advicenators is where He's telling me to go to. I need a human to human ANSWER, ya know, that ANSWERS my question? So can someone simply answer my questions without any unnecessary crap or anything, like stupid Wikipedia? LOL. Thank you, my sanity depends on you! OH, side question, when I'm worshiping God in song, this unknown wave of emotion flows in my chest, and all my questions fade away, and it's as if He's looking down on me, and it's calm and serene... Is this rational, and normal? My brain's not making that up, is it? xDDD!

gotquestions.org! This answered so many of my questions. I was on the same boat as you, and know I feel closer to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit more than ever before!

Q: i read an article online where a woman cut her calories.
she ate like a person of the goal weight she wanted ate (that amount of calories)
for example if she wanted to weigh 115lbs shed consume as many calories it takes for someone at 115 lbc to maintain that weight.

she lost 26lbs in 1 month doing this. with little to no exercise really.
is this truly possible? i want to loose that amount as well.
she lost 15 in 2 weeks.

how is this physicaly possible?

could i get the same results?

im 121 lbc 5'1 and i want to be 108lbs (which is my normal weight. i recently gained 12 lbc on a vacation and cannot loose it)

well, 2 weeks may be pushing it. If you cut your calories by a lot like 800 calories a day, then you might. But, it should take about a month. look up online what it would take to maintain 108 lbs for a 5'1 person. I actually use to weigh about what you weigh and now I weigh 108 and I am also 5'1! I eat about 1,200-1400 calories a day and I exercise a lot. Here's the thing. I practice intuitive eating. Read up on it. It changed my life! I didn't even diet too much to lose the weight. I eat whatever I want just a small portion, or until I"m full. And I work out about 90 minutes a day. Exercise will really make you lose the weight faster. Look up intuitive eating!!!

Q: when i was leaving my friends building i met a guy in his elevator. we totally vibed and connected. i felt the spark, electricity - whatever you want to call it! i didnt get his name or number but i cannot stop thinking about him and i really really want to see him again.

i dont know what to do? i should go back to my friends apt and look really good in hopes of bumping into the guy again?

yesss :) I mean, if this was somewhere random, I'd say forget about it. But, if it's your friend's building, then there's no harm in going back and looking around ;)

Q: See some days I can't or don't plan anything so I stay at home and when I do I get really bored and I can't stop eating any tips on how to distract myself from eating or being bored because it's unhealthy and I don't want to keep gaining weight I'm usually home alone so what can I do?? I'm 16f

exercise keeps your mind off of food! try buying like a workout video and do it when you get bored. It will also supress your appetite. Like, you'll be hungry after cuz you worked out, but you will crave healthier things and you won't snack on unhealthy things or much. Try to fight it as much as possible because if you do, you will get over it. Mind over matter!

xoxo

Q: I am not getting the grades I want nor need. I am currently doing my b.tech from india. However, I can't seem to get A's on any of my quizzes or tests.
I study all the time. In about 1 - 2 hour increments a couple times a day. I am taking org chem 1, physiology, pre-cal, and communications. I am not worried so much about communications and for pre cal i just have to practice. As for organic i do the practice problems in the book over and over again. Then sometimes when the quizzes come i make stupid mistakes. I think i have test anxiety.
And for physiology i record the lectures and listen while in class, then go back over the recording and type out the notes later in the day. I never go out on weekends. I work about 10 hours on weekends, then the rest of the weekend i study. Then I workout and lift weights about 5-6 days a week as well. But thats all i do. I never hangout with friends or anything, shouldn't I be getting A's?!!

There could be a variety of issues going on here. One of them is time management. Just because you study LONG doesn't mean you study SMART. What I mean by that is that you can devote plenty of time to studying, but you don't devote it to the right information. You may be studying something you already know over and over and the test has things you didn't practice as much. Also, you devote ALL this time but because you have SO MUCH time, you don't make it a priority to memorize and move on. You just keep going and going and going. it's very deceiving because it's not about how much you study it's how you study.

Don't forget that we need breaks! You need to de-stress your mind and go out with friends because breaks give you the incentive to continue. I notice that when I'm having fun, I do better in school because a balanced life helps you to fulfill your goals. If you are always stressed and that is all you have, it will become a bore and a chore, not an incentive.

You may also want to ask yourself... am I just memorizing, or do I really understand the concepts that I'm learning? If you understand it, you can answer the questions clearer and quicker. Focus on your critical thinking skills.

You may also want to check if you have a learning disability. It is not something terrible, but maybe you learn differently from the other students in your class. If there is a resource center in your school, you can get tested and be tutored in a way that you may understand clearer and you will see improvement in your grades.

I hope I helped and best of luck!

Q: Hi you answered my question about booking a hotel room. your advice was helpful :) But i have another question. I don't exactly have a credit card.. but I do have a debit/ATM card. If I use that to book the room, is that okay? Will they charge me extra if its not exactly a credit card??

Thank you!

I don't think so. I think that a debit card is ok they just need to have something in order to book the room :)

Q: how do you know if you have it ... ive cut myself about 3 differet times..
ive took pills to try to put me to sleep foever

there's no magic way to know if you have depression. But, it seems like you do. There are people whose level of depression is lower than yours and that is why they don't do anything about it. that's why a lot of pills say that they may increase thoughts of suicide. It seems that's the "level" that you are at, which is still depression. At your level, I would advise to get counseling. They may prescribe medication, but I think just counseling just talking to someone may help. Sweetheart, I know it may sound easy for me to say, but remember that none of this helps. You will find your happiness if you let someone help you. There is always hope and it can always be worst. I wish you the best, honey! :) xoxo

Q: 18/f

I'm booking a hotel room for me and my boyfriend in the next few weeks. The only problem is that i've never booked a hotel room before. I went on the hotel website and tried to book it, but it said i had to put credit card information on it. Well i do have a debit card (is that the same as credit card?) but my parents get the bills so they see what I buy. They don't know about me staying in the hotel, so I can't use my debit card to pay, otherwise it will show up on the bills and my parents will find out.

Is there any way I can pay without a debit card? Maybe cash? Or will they accept someone else's credit card? like if I used my friends card and then just paid her the same amount except in cash? Or what about gift cards?? what if I bought myself a gift card using cash, and then paid with a gift card? would that work? would i do online or telephone reservation for that?

HELPPP!!!!

You just need to provide a credit card to book it. You can pay however your desire when you get there :)

Q: Hi, I'm Gracie and I'm 13 and I noticed that whenever I'm done crying I get really sleepy and a awful headache. Why? And why do my eyes get red and puffyish?

well crying takes up a lot of energy. You get emotionally drained. It also puts a lot of strain of your face. You are using a lot of muscles that you normally don't use on your face. it also seems like you have little control over it when you cry like you can't keep a straight face and when you try to stop, it puts strain on your face. it's like a cycle of muscle aches.

Q: i'll try to make this fast: i'm 21 yrs old, 5'7", and around 170. i've been trying to lose about 30-40 lbs by fall/winter time. anyways, i just wanted to make sure my daily exercise regimen was a good one and i wanted everyone's opinions so i'm not wasting my time. everyday (except sundays) i do: 20-30 mins of running outside, 30 mins of the elliptical OR 1 hour of cycling class (depending on the day), a few reps of weights. would that help me lose weight? thanks in advance

yes, definately. when you do the elliptical, try to do like 5 minutes with resistance and 5 minutes without resistance. if you want to lose weight faster, try to do 15 minutes on the treadmill after the elliptical. as far as weights, do less weight and more repition. Don't do more than 6 pounds. More repititions is the key. So, for example, let's say your doing inner thighs and you have the machine at 50 pounds. do 10 sets with 50 pounds. then 10 with 40 and 30. and then with 40 and 30 again. You'll see how fast everything shrinks. You can also look up weight lifting regimines online. Hope I hepled. Seems like your doing everything right! :) And don't forgot that diet is 80 percent. So, the key there is to eat a lot of vegetables for dinner instead of carbs. Message me if you ever need anything :)

Q: 22/F

Ever since middle school, I have always made up friends. I always thought it was normal. I just wanted to show people that I had friends out of school. Then, I start creating fake Facebook and myspace pages for them. I know it's weird but it made me feel better. I would post things on my account, and with the fake accounts I would reply to myself. I am aware that this is really weird, but everytime I reply to myself I feel a lot better. I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD... So it's like I get comfort Through true fake accounts even though I know itself. Not only that, but I talk to myself. A lot. And many times I feel like I'm talking to another person, but I know it's myself.

Could I be schizophrenic? Or what is this? I am really tired of it all.

if you were schizophrenic, you would have other symptoms. like the other columnists said, you would hear voices and things like that. If you had a mental illness, you would believe that those people were real. the fact that you are able to recognize that they are not and that they are you, tells me that you are fine. It sounds to me like you find this a good way to cope with your anxiety or depression. Everyone talks to themselves. Sometimes, not out loud. Sometimes, we do to remember things and stuff like that. We all do this to some degree. For instance, someone could lie about what they weigh, their height, their grades because they believe it makes them look better. Facebook has that effect on people. Sometimes, I'll go out and if I don't take any pictures, I regret it because then I can't put them on facebook. It does have that effect. The fake people are like an expression of yourself. Also, sometimes, we dream about something for SO long. Like, I've always wished that I had more girl friends. Because, I have a lot of guy friends and they get the wrong impression sometimes. It would just be easy for me if I had more women to talk to in my life. But then, a girl friend will invite me out and I don't know what to do. I'm so use to just thinking about it, wishing, dreaming it, and now it's in front of me. I didn't face that possibility before because in my "dream," they were already my friends. I didn't have to go through the process of earning a friendship or having the earn mine. But I realized that if I wanted to have it, I had to go through that process. It's just about stepping out of your comfort zone. I don't think you are crazy AT ALL. Everybody makes things up and it just so happens that now we can do it publicly. But, just remember that stepping out of your comfort zone is important and that the fulfillment of other people is important. Message me for anything any time.

xoxo

Q: Im about to enter middle school and im stressed out! any advice?

new experiences can be fearful. You will love it! Get involved in school is my best advice (clubs, sports). Believe me, it makes a BIG difference!

Q: I've dealt with depression, self-injury, and eating disorders for a very long time now. I've kept the last two hidden since my mother completely dismissed any ideas of me having depression twice when I was not even 13. Since then I've "trained" myself to never let anyone know that I have any depressive thoughts nor have I ever let anyone "in" to my life.

Well, I met and have been together with this guy for 8 months now and I really do love him. I'm happier than I have ever been in years when I'm with him and he really appreciates me. He knows that the cuts on my legs are self-inflicted, but I've been careful to not let him know I still do cut occasionally and he knows nothing about how I hate my body and my past eating issues. I thought I had been doing a good job concealing my depression from him, but he is extremely introspective.

He has been out of town for the past week and we were talking on the phone tonight and said that I need to get out of this "recession" and that we would do it together or I could do it by myself if I needed to. And that he's been through a lot and he'd like to to help me. And that just freaked me out.

I've never had anyone so close to me in my life, nonetheless someone that's cared enough to notice this. I'd like to talk to him because it's not fair to him for me to bottle this up and have it affect our relationship. At the same time, I'm really afraid that he'll realize he can't handle me and leave me. I'm afraid he'll judge me and reject me. I don't know what to do. Help?

you are very lucky to have someone that allows you to open up. You should speak to him and tell him. He said that he has been through a lot too and I don't think he will just leave you because of what you have been through. When you start to open up to someone, you will see that things will get better. He wants to help you. Give him the chance

Q: I have a big crush on this guy but idk how he feels about me. I go up talk to him and he seems uninterested like I bother him. He gives like 1 word answers and it feels like I'm forcing the conversation. So i figure he doesn't like me so I go on about my business and start hanging out with my other friends. While I'm with them I notice he keeps looking over at me even my friend says he kept looking over at us. I don't understand it. I tried to be nice and friendly with him but he seem like he didn't want nothing to do with me so why does he stare at me all the time?

I'm glad I read this question because I had the same question! But, yes, there is a good chance that he likes you more than you think he does and that's why he's so shy. That happens in other situations too. Like for instance, asking a question in class, even if you think it's a smart question. Or, when someone says to say an interesting fact about yourself and then you can't because you don't know if they'll find it interesting. Or, you don't want to ask someone something too personal, but you want to help them, which is why you wanted to ask in the first place. It's not the same thing, but just to give you an idea of how people could get shy or reserved. He doesn't want to be rejected and sometimes the fear of being rejected over-rides the chance you have to say something. If you don't want to talk to him right away again, just smile and be friendly, but don't wait too long, so he doesn't feel like he did something wrong lol

Q: Last school year my parents home-schooled me, and it was okay. But because of my mean and rude personality I'm not so sure that we should do it this year. I really want to go back to my old school since there will only be one class, and I'll get to spend some time with my friends. The one thing that worries me is that I'm not exactly social, active, or any of the things needed for school (P.E., typing class, that sort of thing. Oh yeah, there is no art.). And I get really worried that I'm not going to be able to find my way around the school. Should I stay with being homeschooled and risk losing almost all of my friends, or go to school and be overflowed with homework, and not learn as much as I could?

ok it really depends. I went to private school and they weren't really big on sports and didn't do much in terms of the high school experience. If I had to do it all again, I would do homeschool because college is like amazing. I would not trade my college experience for anything. Way worth the wait. I had friends in other private schools and they had a little bit more experiences than I did. For instance, they had a cheerleading squad, pep rallies, and those kinds of things. I appreciated my private school education a lot because we didn't have to take examinations that public school system has to take, and I was well-prepared for college. But, my actual school just wasn't the match for me. It really just depends. If your school does offer those experiences, then I would say to give it a try. Because you will have great memories to look back on and you will have a social circle, which is important as part of personal growth. If it doesn't, and you cannot attend another school, then I would say to finish with homeschooling, if you can get it done quicker. As far as everything else, don't worry about not being able to find the buildings. That will come to you. I came from a school with maybe 2 buildings to one of the biggest campuses in the state. It's just a matter of time before you figure it out. And you can tell them in the main office that you are new in coming back to this and you need some help. You will also get a little bit of time away from your parents.

xoxo

Q: Ok, well this is kida a long story but I'll make it quick. 14 years ago my biological father screwed my mom and made her pregnant with me. he called when I was two to make sure he wouldn't have to pay child support (which btw kinda stings a little) so I just wanna know how a 14 year old girl can find her dad when all she knows is: he lived somewhere in Indiana around 1996 1995, he has curly brown hair, he got his license taken away at 17 for driving under the influence, and his name is Michael Spalding? My mom doesn't want me to even think about his let alone try and find him, so I'm doing it secretly and I have no money so I need a very cheap way. No one in my family had ever seen my dad and didn't know my mom was dating him until she got pregnant. So there no big help. Can anyone help????

well, I just wanted to let you know that I know exactly how you feel. I understand why other people's advice would be to not let yourself down, but I have another understanding. I was adopted and I felt the need to look for my biological parents not because I wanted contact with them but because I needed closure. That's a part of your life and you need to understand more about it. Your parents being hush hush isn't going to help. Sometimes, you just need a name and a photo and to learn more about him so you can fill in that void in your life. I completely understand. I've never met my biological father either. But, I have a name and a photo, I've learned about his life, his kids, and i feel that a part of who I am and I'm able to move on. Maybe one day I will get in contact with him, but that was all I needed. If that's what you need, then talk to your mom and tell her about your feelings and you might get more information out of her. If you tell someone and not do this on your own, then you will find it to be easier. Also, my suggestion would be to maybe contact him, if you do, through e-mail or something and write that you are contacting him to learn more about him. Start there, so he does not feel intimidated. He doesn't really have a chance to push you away if you just want to learn more about him. There are record searches that you can do. Like I said, maybe there is SOMEONE to help you, who may be 18 or older so you could get some information you might need. Idk if you have siblings, but maybe a cousin or someone who you can trust. A friend. Message me if you need anything. I understand your case and I would be happy to answer any additional questions you may have :)

Q: one more question... after how long time did ur friend got pregnant????

about a year or so i think... and then a year or two after that, she had her second baby

Q: Hello all,
I am curious to know if I lost partial of my fallopian from one of my tubes from an ectopic pregnancy would I get my menstrual period on a monthly basis? I heard that I would miss one month due to my surgery. In addition, what are my chances to getting pregnant again? Thank you.

Yes! A friend of mine had the same problem and now she has 2 babies! :)

Q: Hey thats cool about Miami thats where my dads from! he absolutly loves it thats all he talks about is he wants to go to Miami haha but enough about that!. I think I know who you think it is and If its who I think you think it is ha! your right... I actually didn't want you to find out but hey you give really good advice and you care and don't make fun of it so your fine!! haha but yahh I don't know about the whole meet and greet thing thatd be quite a lot of extra money and I'm thinkful shes gettin me good seats! but i'll try lol(: just like if you have any more tips to make this easier i would greatly appreciate it(: sense I am pretty much 3 years younger:/ but he said age dont matter so thats a relief but still if you have anymore tips thatd be great everything you've said so far has helped SO MUCH and gave me confidence(: thank you also I'll see about that book too(: Thanks! btw my name is Madison!

Madison, Message me when it gets closer to the day. As of right now, I can't think of much else except due your research and find out as much as you can. When you find out more, message me and I will give you tips about what you can do with it!

Lots of love!

Cristy xoxo

bio

I started this column when I was 15 years old, so you'll notice that the advice has gotten better and better. I've always been interested in counseling and I started this column to gain experience. But, I found a lot more than that. I found a support system of caring and loving people. I received a degree in child development and currently working towards becoming a school psychologist. So, I hope you can feel confident in trusting me with your questions. This is more than just a fun site for me. I look back on my own questions from years ago, and I laugh when I read about my problems at 16. I've really come a long way! I'm relatively young, but I've had several experiences in life that have aided me in helping others. I hope to use those experiences for the greater good and help others who are not in their ideal situation!