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My daddies missing!!!!!!
Ok, well this is kida a long story but I'll make it quick. 14 years ago my biological father screwed my mom and made her pregnant with me. he called when I was two to make sure he wouldn't have to pay child support (which btw kinda stings a little) so I just wanna know how a 14 year old girl can find her dad when all she knows is: he lived somewhere in Indiana around 1996 1995, he has curly brown hair, he got his license taken away at 17 for driving under the influence, and his name is Michael Spalding? My mom doesn't want me to even think about his let alone try and find him, so I'm doing it secretly and I have no money so I need a very cheap way. No one in my family had ever seen my dad and didn't know my mom was dating him until she got pregnant. So there no big help. Can anyone help????
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Lucky for you, youre closer to finding your father than I am... My mom wont even tell me his name and she has told me 3 different stories about him and who he is... Yo have his name and the state he most likely lives in so this is great it will help you find him... if you want you can go to whitepages.com and do a little name search see if he pops up with a phone number to call... I went on white pages for you and there are a few michael spaldings in indiana... it might help if you know a relatives name like your fathers parents talk to your mom try to get more info from her good luck with your search I know how you feel every little girl wants her daddy
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theres this website.. spokeo dot com. Its really helpful for finding people's info. Theres more sites like that but i kinna like spokeo the most. Just type in his name and you get everyone in the US with that name (some people have taken their name off, not alot tho) the phone #s they have there are sometimes wrong.. but i'd give it a try. Knowing what state he lives in helps ALOT. Also, if you wanna know his email and stuff you have to pay money.. so you ARE limited. If you have any money at all, you could try to go to a bank and put the money into one of the debut cards i think? but yea.. if all else fails i think you need to go to your mom and have a DEEP talk with her and show her how important it is and if that doesnt work.. THREATEN HER. haha, it might work.. "i'll run away!" or "i'll call the cops" ?? threatens actually help, and let your mom know how serious it is. (:
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I would definitely think about whether you really should find your father or not. Talk it over with your mother, Tell her your concerns and to why.
As painful as it is to not have a father in your life, Sometimes things are for the best in the long run. You wouldn't want to find your father and be disappointed in what you see, Sometimes things aren't always what we expect and finding your father could end up being a life long disappointment.
I am adopted, I've thought about finding my biological Mother but the more I sat on it the more I realized that instead of wasting my time on something that may never work out, I should be happy with what I do have in my life. Your father didn't pay child support and he isn't in your life. This should kind of tell you something, I'm not trying to be an asshole but it's better to know then to have him remind you...
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well, I just wanted to let you know that I know exactly how you feel. I understand why other people's advice would be to not let yourself down, but I have another understanding. I was adopted and I felt the need to look for my biological parents not because I wanted contact with them but because I needed closure. That's a part of your life and you need to understand more about it. Your parents being hush hush isn't going to help. Sometimes, you just need a name and a photo and to learn more about him so you can fill in that void in your life. I completely understand. I've never met my biological father either. But, I have a name and a photo, I've learned about his life, his kids, and i feel that a part of who I am and I'm able to move on. Maybe one day I will get in contact with him, but that was all I needed. If that's what you need, then talk to your mom and tell her about your feelings and you might get more information out of her. If you tell someone and not do this on your own, then you will find it to be easier. Also, my suggestion would be to maybe contact him, if you do, through e-mail or something and write that you are contacting him to learn more about him. Start there, so he does not feel intimidated. He doesn't really have a chance to push you away if you just want to learn more about him. There are record searches that you can do. Like I said, maybe there is SOMEONE to help you, who may be 18 or older so you could get some information you might need. Idk if you have siblings, but maybe a cousin or someone who you can trust. A friend. Message me if you need anything. I understand your case and I would be happy to answer any additional questions you may have :)
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There are ways to do some record checks via the computer if the County where your records and the State of Indiana have computerized them. I have done some records checking over the computer but not the type of records that you are looking for. If you wish to do this type of search I suggest you find someone who is knowledgeable in doing record searches over the computer. Perhaps a friend at school may have the ability and knowledge to do this with/for you.
There have been several stories in the news of late where children have found their biological parents by using facebook. I believe there is even a page on facebook about this.
I understand the desire you have to find your biological father, I really do. I would be remiss as an adviser if I didn't point out that he may not want to be found and are you prepared for this possibility. As you have written, in all of your 14 years he has only had contact with you or your mother one time and strictly for his own monetary interests.
I would rather advise you to let sleeping dogs lie then see you build yourself up for something and end up being very hurt. While it is possible he will welcome you with open arms; the fact that he has not tried to contact you says this is a very remote possibility. He may have a family of his own now that know nothing of you or your mother. For you to suddenly appear in his life would be very complicating.
You don't mention if you have a step-dad. If you do and he has been what a father should be to you. Then even though he may not have planted the seeds, he is your dad, for he has been there to care for you and raise you with your mom.
Please consider this before you go searching for your biological father and possibly let yourself in for one of the biggest hurts of your life.
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