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JunieBazinet
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about
I'm just an average person. I love to help people out :) it makes me feel better about myself. I've been in a lot of situations so I can most likely relate to a lot of your problems. I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to about your problems, which is why i'm an advicenator. I'm ready to help people and be there for everyone who needs advice or just a companion to speak out to. I'm always here if you need me, don't hesitate to drop a question or even just a vent/rant note about a problem to my advice column inbox. I respond to all of them regardless of the topic. I'm upfront and abrupt about my answers and never sugarcoat. Take my advice or not, but i'm just doing my job :)Played volleyball for over 10 years, also a coach. I love to try new things. Currently I'm trying the new sport of tennis and learning about my passion of photography.
advice
I will just give you a run down of our relationship, and then a pros and con list otherwise ill go on for hours.
we are 20, have a 5 month old daughter and she is gorgeous. we have been together for three years. When we got together, he was a rebound..after one year we were living together. we were pregnant at 2 years. and now living at my mothers (and hating it)
pros-
he is my daughters father. hes gorgeous. i do love him. he is very talented and could go far. he cooks for me. he loves me. he is very faithful. has a great personality sometimes.
cons-
i have not been single since i was 14. he never tells me im beautiful, i am beginning to think he is not attracted to me because of the baby weight. (im only 115 pounds tho...but its 10 more than i used to be) when he is sleeping, he has a terrible personality and is known to hurt me emotionally and physically (i.e. throwing me at dressers, hitting me bc i am trying ot get him up for once). he has a terrible work ethic and has not been employed in 3 months. he hates my family. he is not the least bit greatful for what my mom is doing for us. i hate his family. his mom is a super cunt and he thinks so too. i wonder if he drinks to much. i dont feel like the princess i used to. he spends all of our money on frivelous things. he is taking on my precious mommy role, my daughter is now comforted by him and all that easier than by me. he does not let me have a say in how we will raise her. i am able to take her to work with me, i usually do because if i leave her home he just makes her stay in her crib and sleep until he is out of bed around 12-2 in the afternoon. alot of the time we dont get along. he is extremely lazy. extremely controlling. i basically get no life. he is the desicion maker even though I provide the shelter, car, and money.
but he IS my daughter father. and I also could not handle him having another girl....one who is actually willing to spend all her money on cid and trippy concerts and who is down to earth and just the perfect girl fir him. this thought rattles my brain and terrifies me to death....
on the other hand...a life in an apartment with just me and my baby girl sounds like heaven...i could afford to move out if it werent for him...
this is my opinion..
i think you are scared to leave him. you know its the right thing to do because there are WAY too many con's on that list compared to the pro's.
you wrote down maybe 10 things good about him.. and about 30 bad things about him. this mean's he's not good for you..
you're just scared to leave. it is nice that you are thinking about your baby girl and how it will affect her.. but in all reality.. would you rather ditch him and have your girl to yourself and raise her yourself (and risk having her lose her father) or would you rather put up with his controlling ways for the next few years until your girl is grown up (but have your child deal with him too??)
think about it. wouldn't you rather have your baby NOT deal with him?? if this is how he's affecting you, imagine how he will affect your daughter!
stand up for yourself and just turn around and walk away. i'm a huge feminist and i believe that women have rights and shouldn't be treated this way.
good luck :)
So i've had a thing for this guy since we hooked up awhile ago. we didnt talk much but we met again at another party.. we ended up hooking up a few times all weekend. and talked about how much we liked eachother. all this.. then monday comes and we're sober. He says he doesn't know how he feels.. that he feels different when he's drunk rather than sober.. what do I do? I really like him..
if he's going to drink and hook up with you.. chances are he would do it with any other girl. meaning, he's not worth your time..
is it possible to be in love with some one after only knowing them for a couple of weeks?
this is such a biased question. it can go either way really... you can look at this way- you feel that strong connection and its just that feeling YOU KNOW it will work out. you can't describe the feeling but when you 2 are together you just know something is right. that is called love. love doesnt technically mean getting to know someone well enough and then falling in love with them. it could mean that. but not necessarily. love can just mean that you have the special feeling around them, even if you dont know that person well enough. for example- say you're going to buy a puppy from the shop. you see one and you just have the incredible feeling like you know this is the right puppy. even if you dont know much info about it.. you still have that gut feeling that says its right. that could be love
or you can look at it this way.
you only know you love someone if you know them well enough. a few weeks doesnt give you much time to get to know them, therefore you probably dont love them.
so it really depends on how YOU feel. in my opinon, love could be anything for anyone. for me, its that gut feeling that says its right. gut feelings/instincts are almost always right for me. so when i get that feeling, i know its right.
however, for someone else.. love could mean that they need to get to know the other person first. you see what i'm getting at? love is different for everyone.
I'm 25/f.
My boyfriend physically and emotionally abused me after knowing one another for years as friends, then dating for months before moving in together. The last thing he did to me before I left was pick me up by my throat. His biggest problem was always that he couldn't control himself, and I thought he was going to kill me...This kind of abuse escalated from fights during which he would come within inches of my face and scream at me. In response to this, I once slapped him, and I felt terrible, and kept apologizing...does this mean I'm abusive, too? Did I bring this upon myself by responding that way?
I got a protection order against him, but true to character, he's denying that he abused me, and got a hearing to try to get the order lifted. It's coming up, we both have lawyers, but I'm so nervous I can barely function. I'm terrified to be in the same room as him.
Does anyone have any thoughts? Any advice?
-Thanks :(
wow.. i've never been in this situation but my parents have. they always fight and every time they do i shake because i'm so scared they will beat each other. which has happened before. I think when you slapped him, its not that you're abusive. you were just defending yourself. so don't feel guilty about that. if he doesn't like it when you slapped him, he shouldn't have abused you in the first place!
as for this court hearing thing. don't be scared. worse case senario is that he blows up in court and trys to get at you... but dont worry about that because there are other people there. like the judge, police, lawyers. so if he does anything to harm you, all of those people will have proof.
don't be scared. you got a protection order against him which is a very good thing. good for you. you gotta stand up for yourself. i'm a huge feminist and i believe that women have rights and shouldn't be treated this way.
oh and also, in court, you shouldn't worry too much because your lawyer will handle everything. they know more about court related things than you, so let them work. don't try to interfere unless its absolutely necessary. you'll be fine. if anything should happen, call 911 and report it.
i wish you good luck :)
Ok so im a sophomore. Basically what I do for my team is I treat everyone equally, i keep a center of balance in our team, i call conditioning for sophomores, they all seem to respect me,and i keep an Alpha atmosphere so to speak. but what else can i ddo to become captain later on?...
- do some team bonding things
- encourage them. give them a speech about accomplishing your goals
- reward them when they do something right
- tell them what they are doing wrong and how they can get better at it (CAREFUL with this one. if you say it in a harsh tone or say it too often, people can think of you more as a boss and not the leader.)
- be really close with them so you understand them better
- have a game plan and share it with them. like have a plan for your games or meets or whatever and lay down the rules and whats going on.
- LISTEN TO THEM! if they have any ideas or suggestions, listen to them and those can help you become successful too.
and just be nice :) but dont be afraid to be a little bossy too. have fun!!
how to kiss
there's no right or wrong way on kissing. all it is is your lips touching each other. just lean in and tilt your head and touch your lips to his.
for more advanced things, you could try sucking on his lower lip or biting it too.
its not meant to be confusing and difficult. its supposed to be fun. you'll get the hang of it once you do it a few times.
Well i made out for my first time the other night and i'm scared i did bad..
Me and him kinda have liked each other on and off
I think there was something but like it could have just been what worked at the time..
we had really long make out sesh's than we would cuddle than went back to making out and did this all through the night so do you think that means i didn't do too bad?
Or what i'm confused and really hope i wasn't a bad kisser..
If you could help that'd be just dandy.
well if you did it more than once.. then thats a good sign that he wanted more.
i'm sure you weren't too bad. there's no "specific" way to makeout.. just do what you know and you'll get better at it as time comes. don't stress about it :)
okay so i've liked this guy brian for the longest time. we've hooked up on multiple occasions and had sleepovers, but he doesn't want a girlfriend. he he's had 2 since spring of 2009 and now he's just enjoying life..which means he's not only hooking up with me. so i've decided that it's great for him, but sucks for me and i can't get him out of my head. it's really bad, i couldn't fall asleep for the longest time last night because of it. so does anyone have "cleansing" ideas? i've deleted his number from my phone for the time being. just until i figured things out and cleared my head. any other ideas? thanks!
hang out with your girlies :) trust me it fixes everything. your best friends know how to fix everything. whenever i'm in deep trouble, i call up my bff and we chill and she just takes my mind off things and we have a great time. laughter is the best medicine. so just hang out with your bff's and laugh a lot and just dont care. oh and also listen to music. search on youtube about songs about moving on and forgetting the past. i know a few so here they are
walk away- christina aguilera
fighter- christina aguilera
goodbye- christina debarge
Stronger than ever- christina aguilera
power- kanye west
i'm sure there's more i know, but those are the ones off the top of my head.
i've dealt with guys like him.. the best thing to do is to REALIZE that he's a jackass. be GLAD that you're done with him. get MAD that he did this to you and treated you this way (like any other girl) just get pissed and shove it all in his face and be like- i dont care what you think, this is my life and i'm not gonna put up with this sh*t. you're a jerk and i'm done with you. bye.
you just gotta have that tough attitude like "i dont need you. get out of my way!"
i used to be this really shy girl but then i realized that if i'm always shy and always really nice to everybody.. people can take advantage of me. which is what guys did. finally i realized that sometimes you have to be a b*tch. not always though.. but when it comes to people treating you poorly, you have to stand up for yourself and say "enough is enough. i'm standing up for myself. i dont need this" and just turn around and walk away with pride.
good for you for wanting to move on. he's not worth your time. trust me. good luck :)
how to kiss your boyfriend
ahh kissing.. i remember before i had my first kiss. i thought kissing was rocket science. i thought there was a certain way to do it. and if you didnt do it right, you'll never get kissed again.. but boy i was wrong.
to be honest, kissing is almost like hugging. its so easy and natural and you shouldn't have to think about it. it just happens. if you overthink it, bad stuff will happen like you'll get embarressed or kiss his nose instead or sneeze in his face. dont be nervous. just let it happen. lean in. wait for him to lean in too. dont go the whole way without knowing he wants it too. then when you both are a few inches away, tilt your head and stick out your lips (but dont over do it so it looks like a fish face) and just allow your lips to touch. dont make any kissing sounds cause people dont normally do that lol. another tip is to kiss his bottom or top lip. maybe even suck on it if you get the hang of it. if it is your first kiss, i HIGHLY recommend lips closed and no tongue. if you use tongue on your first kiss, it is so unromantic and not very special. think of it as just a peck. maybe hold it for a little while longer like 3 seconds. then pull away and smile :) if you dont smile, the dude will think you didnt enjoy it. my first kiss, my face turned red because i was so shy hahaha but he thought it was adorable :)
just be causual. be cool. dont stress out over it :) have fun.
i am always chewing gum, i only chew like mint flavors like dentin ice, orbit and sometimes a few others. I was wondering if it would have an effect on my teeth?
yeah it probs has an effect on your teeth. gum is basically wax and sugar plus some other crap like flavoring.. which also contains sugar. it kinda depends on the brand and flavor of the gum. 5 gum, and stride gum are probably the sugariest gum since they have a lot of different flavors. the minty kinds you like probably do have sugar in them but not as much. look at the back of the packages, they have the ingredients. you can do some research and look at them and compare them with other brands and flavors and see how they vary.
18f
So, I broke up with my boyfriend the other day cuz we weren't going anywhere, we don't have simular interests and it is hard to make time to see eachother. All we would do when we were together is watch movies or he'd watch football, cuddle and we'd kiss, thats about it. So I talked to him and said "being friends was easier" cuz lately we hadn't been able to see eachother and he was getting kind of frustrated. He said: "I agree. I was thinking the same thing for the last few weeks, but after last seeing you, things seemed better so I thought I'd give it a little longer". I was like, wow... I felt the same way. I had wanted to break up with him for a while, but I didn't want to so soon. We were together for five months. Anyhow, then he seemed kind of upset and I explained "it was just that you had your interests and I had mine". He said "Yeah I know what you mean". "It was fun while it lasted". What did he mean by that? Did he not have any feelings the whole time??
it just means that he feels like its going to end no matter what and that he had a great time. He expects it to end so he feels like well what we had was great, but its gonna end now.
I think he did have feelings. but now that you guys agreed to be friends, he feels like the relationship will obviously end and that what you 2 had was fun, but now its going to end.
if you're still confused about it, ask him what he means by this. i'm sure he will clarify it for you.
My brother has broken up with his gf, all my family love her. She's really pretty, really sweet, has a really good job and she's got a great sense of humour. She did a lot for my brother n he broke up with her. She's really upset n she still talks to me about him, its really uncomfortable cos I don't wanna side with my brother but he's being an ass! He hasn't given her a real reason to why they broke up, why do you think he did it? I know I should stay out of it but they're so good together
yeah i agree. stay out of it. otherwise it will just cause a bunch more drama and troubles.
if it bothers you that much, try talking to your brother about it. ask him why he did it and if he regrets it. try to persuade him to change his mind, but once he says "no" then you have to stop. respect his decision and back off. its his life and he can do what he wants with it. yes, you can give him advice like saying- i think you 2 were perfect for each other. but once he gets irritated or annoyed at you, you need to know when to back off and give him space.
i have recently started soccer my first time I'm a female young teenager. we have played 3 games (just an idea of how long I've been playing) well i wanna get good at technique and just a better understanding of soccer. if theirs any advice, or websites you can share with me it would be very helpful thank you :)
just go on youtube and type in soccer skills and theres a ton of tutorials about soccer skills.
have fun. go soccer!
Okay I'm not one of those people who try to get sick so they don't have to go to school. But i have to do an essay on things people do to avoid school and why. So wht are ways you can get sick? Also ways that you can get a fever. Ways that ACTUALLY work. Haha thanks! Answers soon and lots of answers to! Thanksss
idk why you gave that other person a rating of 1..? what they said is very true..
some other ideas are-
getting hair and body wet and sleeping in cold environment
sweating, and then letting the sweat get cold.
breathing in cold air through the mouth (the nose warms the air up before it gets in your circulatory system)
Well I met a new friend this year and i got along with her really well. But she has fallen in with the wrong crowd and she is high all the time now. I feel as if i shouldn't talk to her at this point but I also feel like I should help her, but I have no idea how I would do that. Should I just let her be? Or should I do something? if so, what?
Thank you for reading this.
talk to her about it.
say you know what she is doing and tell her the hazards of getting high. say it doesnt help her get anywhere in life. there are no benefits to drugs or alcohol. all it does is make life worse for people. i've never EVER heard of someone who does drugs and somehow benefits them.. or someone who is an alcoholic and the alcohol helps them...
let her know that it is a stupid decision and wont get her anywhere in life. one day she will look back at her decisions and regret them.. tell her that no matter how far down the road she goes, she can always make a U-turn and turn around and change things.
ask her if she's doing it for attention? or whatever. let her know that you care about her and your friendship and that you dont support drugs but you do support her. let her know that you'll be there for her if she ever needs someone to talk to or needs help.
if she refuses to listen to you, i would either
A- keep trying and call for help like her parents or your parents or any sort of guidance counselor/principal/teacher and let them know
or
B- stay away from her. people who are friends with other people who get involved with the wrong crowd are like whirlpools. they suction people in and in your case.. i would stay away from her. you might feel like you dont want to because you care too much about her. but honeslty, would you rather risk yourself getting into that trouble.. or would you risk her getting into worse trouble? care about yourself first. then her. if you're willing to put yourself into that risk of danger- then by means go be friends with her. i'm just letting you know that if you stay friends with her, theres a chance or possibility that she can pull you in with her crowd. its your risk.
good luck.
I'm dating this guy right now. He's nice and everything but we've only been dating for 1 month. Prom dance is coming up this year and we have to pay the fees before the end of December if we want to go. I haven't asked him if he wants to go with me (he's a sophomore, and I'm a senior so I have to invite him for him to be able to go) because I don't know if we'll still be together then. Should I ask him if he wants to go to prom with me already or what?
i say go for it :) no regrets!
im 16
hes 16
okay so some background information: we have been together for almost a year (nov. 28 it officially will be). me and him fight atleast once a day over the STUPIDEST but we ALWAYS get through it and over it. we have also been on and off during the year. im also not allowed to have a bf because of my culture :l (yes ive been hiding this for a whole year) so obv its really hard for us to see eachother i always have to lie and stuff. we also both reallly reallly do love eachother.
Problem: we recently faught lastnight over me inviting him to my friends house because she was having people over and he stayed over his friends so he could go with him and my friend called it off because she got sick so then idk he started disrespecting me by saying shutup and how he was trying to see me and we both just got mad and we havent talked last night and today and i just have anxiety and i dont know what to do anymore :'( pleaseeee help me.
just relax. breathe. everything will be alright. my parents just got into a huge fight and i told them they both have to stop arguing and TALK. relationships are basically a teamwork. you both have to put effort into it. you both have to fix the problems/fights. you cant just leave it up to one person to fix everything. you both have to express your feelings and you both have to listen to each other.
i say you just calm down and let things cool down. my rule is 24 hours. if you have a huge fight, allow 24 hours for a cool down. that way you wont say things you dont mean. after that, talk to him about it. and i'm really stressing on the talk part. try not to yell or argue. if you notice you 2 arguing or raising your voices, calm things down and LISTEN to each other. dont interrupt and try to prove a point. try to understand what he's saying and view things from his point of view. take what he says into consideration.
its basically up to you guys. you 2 just have to talk about it and solve it. if you guys cant solve it, then maybe it wasn't meant to be. everything happens for a reason.
good luck!
Ahhh OKAY. This is a laptop question.
My parents are buying me a laptop for college, but neither of them know anything about laptops. Neither do I. I'm majoring in JOURNALISM.
What would be the best laptop for a journalist/digital journalist?
And is there any good software for journalists I can buy that will most likely help me?
maybe try a mac pro? it can either be a mac or you can also have it be windows. my high school has them. they're really nice.
sorry i dont know specifically what type of mac it is but i'm sure if you go to any apple store they can tell you.
i lost my ipod so i was thinking about just getting the iphone. i have a lg xenon right now and i don't really like it but it works. can anyone that has the iphone tell me some pros and cons? and which one should i get? like i don't get the whole g8 iphone 4 and all the numbers and i don't know what they mean please help!
i have iphone 4g right now. i used to have 3g but it broke (had it for over 2 years). i like the 4g right now. it has some pretty cool stuff on it like video and facetime (like skype) and its a lot faster. you can also run other apps while you're on the phone with someone. like put the person on speaker and then text other people while talking to them. the only down side i can think about for iphones is that it is apple and apple is frustrating sometimes. like you can only authorize it on 5 computers. and if you lose purchased music without backing it up, you have to rebuy those songs. and you can only sync your phone with 1 library. so if you switch computers/users then you either have to delete everything from your phone and sync it with the new computer.. or just stay with the old computer. if you do have to delete/restore the iphone MAKE SURE YOU BACK IT UP FIRST. i have stressed over this sooo much because there have been more than a few times when i forgot to back everything up recently and it deleted stuff from my phone and it was a huge hassle to get everything back on there.
but if you can live with the technical difficulties of apple, then go for it :) i like the fact that i can text and listen to my music at the same time without holding 2 different things.
I'll start my story:
Been friends with this guy since highschool. He's very insensitive, a future pastor, a smarty pants whom girls adore.
He and I had same issues with our exes: they were so possessive and jealous.
So last year after we had breakups with our exes, we decided to fake a relationship so that our friends would stop worrying about us. It's been 11 months, and it's been going wow despite long distance.
He really treats me like real girlfriend, so sometimes I get confused: this is fake, but it feels so real.
Our best friends have been telling us to make it real, they go "make it official, go for real relationship! you guys are there already" and even my parents keep telling me to "make it real".
but it's really strange. because I try to be consistent. I always remind him that he's my good "friend" and no more. even though I have to say, sometimes I get carried away and treat him like real boyfriend too.
Lately though, he's been doing things that are really romantic, like singing, reciting verses, playing guitar for me,,, and he's been missing me, calling me, telling me that i "got special privilege for being a wonderful girlfriend"
And I feel scared. I mean, I don't want to forget that it's just fake. And I don't know what and how to respond to him sometimes because I don't want to ruin our friendship. I don't know what to do... and I'm not even sure what is going on...because apparently I do enjoy my special privilege...
life is about taking risks.
“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
i hope that quote helps you realize what to do..
take a risk and go for it. tell him how you feel. just talk to him about it. tell him everything on your mind. then listen to what he has to say. dont interrupt him. nobody on this website can tell you what to do. the power is in your hands. not ours. you decide what to do. all we can do is give you guidance. my guidance for you is to listen to your hear, take a chance, and if it doesnt work out.. then thats fate. everything happens for a reason. if it doesnt work out between you 2, it wasnt meant to be. if it does work out, then it was meant to be.
good luck :)